Graduation

Law school graduation is coming up and that means it’s time to engage in duplicitous backstabbing of everyone you call a friend in a mad scramble for graduation week event tickets.

That’s why the process of selling graduation week tickets has to be managed with a level of procedural fairness normally reserved for stock quotes or Miley Cyrus tickets. It’s also the reason everything can quickly descend into a lower circle of hell if someone feels they’ve been screwed over for tickets.

That’s what happened when a top law school accidentally gave the LLMs an early bite at the grad event ticket apple. And what they tried to do next lit up a hornets’ nest of entitled tools….

(Please note the UPDATES added below.)

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It’s almost mid-March, and you know what that means: broke law students are starting to freak out about the costs associated with their upcoming commencement ceremonies.

Most of them have already forked over six figures of government Monopoly money to their law schools, so why on earth are they so concerned about the cost of renting their caps and gowns for graduation?

To be honest, the loan money is starting to run out. While some schools have reasonable rental options (in the $50-$70 range), other schools are foisting very expensive graduation gear upon their graduates in some sort of a “gouge ‘em before they go” cash grab.

But how much is too much when it comes to one-day rental prices? Students at one top-tier law school have described what they’re expected to pay as jaw-droppingly “insane”…

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If I told you that a first-term Massachusetts Congressman, Joseph P. Kennedy III, was delivering the commencement address at a law school, where would you think that would be?

Certainly not Harvard Law. Kennedys start at Harvard, but they don’t finish.

Let’s see, first-termers haven’t done much, but Kennedy does have an impressive last name. He hadn’t done much as a lawyer before being elected to Congress. My guess would have been that Kennedy would be perfect to speak at something in the Suffolk Law to Northeastern Law band (or maybe UMass Law if he was desperate for exposure).

So I was pretty surprised to find out he’d be speaking at the UVA Law commencement — but not nearly as surprised as some UVA Law alums….

double red triangle arrows Continue reading “Alumni Object To Commencement Speaker Whose Collar Isn’t Popped Nearly Enough”

Tell me again how the third year of law school is anything other than a gigantic waste of time? The 3Ls got back to campus just a few days ago, but already their thoughts have turned to getting out and moving on with their lives. And they’re right to do so; 3L year is a giant holding pattern between now and taking the bar exam.

At one top school, 3Ls are already using their listserv to talk — well, bitch — about graduation. They’re annoyed by their school’s ticket policy for commencement. I’d say they were counting their chickens before they hatched, but I don’t even know what kind of awesome, ATL-worthy story could get a 3L kicked out before graduation.

One kid is even trying to plan his wardrobe for the big day. He’s not a “clothes horse,” though. Apparently, he’s just a guy who can’t figure out how to get to a Men’s Wearhouse between now and May…

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* A bleak, expressionist write-up of the bar exam experience. If you ever wondered what the subject of The Scream was doing right beforehand, it was apparently “taking the bar exam.” [Law of the Dead]

* The traditional summer associate program model needs restructuring. Are you suggesting four-hour lunches are passé? Because… shame, sir, shame. [SSRN]

* The sequester is slowing down the patent office. So now the irate patent attorney has something else to blame for not getting his client’s application approved. [Patently O]

* As our tipster put it, this may be a statement against interest: Snowden once declared that traitors should be “shot in the balls.” [NY Post]

* A breakdown of unconstitutional animus in U.S. v. Windsor. If the author could figure out Justice Kennedy’s train of thought all the way through, kudos! [Associate's Mind]

* If you’re ever planning a graduation party, just don’t do this. [Legal Juice]

* Examining the misappropriation of trade secrets on Earth-616, and whatever Earth the DC people are in these days. I gave up on them two Crises ago. [Law and the Multiverse]

* Federal prosecutors may go after Long Island Power Authority for their poor response to Hurricane Sandy. [Breaking Energy]

* And this recap of the Hollingsworth opinion concludes with a GIF that is sure to warm the hearts of many an ATL commenter. [Eff Yeah SCOTUS]

When you graduate from Harvard Law School, they give you little inflatable sharks that you are supposed to wave around when your school is called. I don’t know who “they” is, but I know they do it to reinforce the fact that as a Harvard lawyer, you are expected to go unto the world and wreak havoc in a relentless, remorseless fashion. HLS is a pretty messed-up place.

I know at other law schools students wave gavels. NYU Law grad Joe Patrice claims that they didn’t wave anything at his graduation… though he is usually drunk and not to be trusted. Western New England Law grad Staci said simply, “My school probably couldn’t afford anything to wave around.” Then she made the “wait, don’t post that” face, as I laughed and laughed in an elitist cackle.

The point is: graduating classes sometimes have little emblems or signs or things they bring to commencement to signify the careers they are about to start.

But for the law class of 2013, what careers are we talking about, really? Gavels and sharks seem a little too ambitious, no? Perhaps they should be waving around boxes of ramen? Maybe they should do what this college kid did below?

I’m not sure; let’s crowdsource this bad boy…

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Jodi Arias

* Growth was “steady” for New York’s top firms, with Latham & Watkins and Skadden Arps leading the pack in terms of gross revenue — which wasn’t surprising, considering their Am Law 100 gross revenue ranking. [New York Law Journal]

* Dewey know when we’ll be able to stop using this pun? Hmm, at this rate, probably never. Steve Otillar and Citi recently settled their dueling suits over the ex-D&L partner’s capital contribution loan to the failed firm. [Am Law Daily]

* Cahill Gordon was supposed to investigate the Rutgers basketball scandal, but the firm cited a conflict of interest, so Skadden Arps stepped in. [Insert the joke of your choice here. I don't like or watch this sport.] [Reuters]

* Surely you’ve heard about Justice Orie Melvin’s sentence by now. As it turns out, shaming a judge like you’d shame your dog online might not be enforceable… which is too bad. [Pittsburgh Post-Gazette]

* When we last spoke about “controversial” commencement speakers, we didn’t bring up the fact that Nancy Pelosi would be pulling double duty at UC Davis and Baltimore. Thoughts? [National Law Journal]

* She’s got a death wish: the aggravation phase of the Jodi Arias trial was postponed at the last minute yesterday, and some think it’s because of the interview she gave after the verdict was announced. [CNN]

You got to have some big testicles to pull off doing a backflip right before you receive your law school diploma.

Look, clearly the only thing anybody wants to talk about today is the heartwarming retrieval of three kidnapped women in Cleveland. Okay, that’s a lie. The only thing we should be talking about is the amazing interview given by Good Samaritan Charles Ramsey who helped Amanda Berry escape her captors. If you haven’t seen the interview, go check it out. Don’t worry, I’ll wait.

It’s one of the best things you’ve ever seen, right bro?

I don’t have a video that is as good as that. I don’t have ten videos that add up to being as good as that. But I do have a guy doing gymnastics before getting his J.D. It’s cool enough. I would definitely eat ribs and listen to salsa music with this guy….

double red triangle arrows Continue reading “Adding Athleticism To Law School Graduation Ceremonies”

With finals underway and graduation just a few weeks ahead, law students are left with only two things to bitch and moan about: their job/debt situations, and their commencement speakers. Law school graduation is supposed to be a day that will forever be etched in people’s memories; they don’t want to remember that they were seething with rage or slumping their shoulders in disappointment. They just want to be happy.

But apparently the lawyers of the future are incapable of that emotion. In the past, soon-to-be law grads have gotten so pissy about their law school’s selection of speaker that they’ve written open letters, donned protest buttons, and even organized commencement walkouts.

We’ve heard from several of our readers regarding their schools’ speaker picks, and students from a certain high-ranking law school (but not T14, at least in our own rankings) are REALLY unhappy….

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Oh night students, better known to law school deans as “amazing fountains of money.” The schools milk them for four years of tuition to do two years of work. But a lot of regular students resent night students because they don’t have to take a full course load, yet their grades are counted alongside day students when it comes to class rank.

(Note: this isn’t as much of a problem for schools that can get Biglaw jobs for students outside the top 10 percent.)

At one school, regular day students aren’t just competing with night students for class rank and jobs. They’re also competing with night students over the very scheduling of commencement ceremonies.

Competing, and losing….

double red triangle arrows Continue reading “Night Students Already Ruin Your Class Rank, Do They Have To Ruin Your Graduation Too?”

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