Gunners

* Never text angry. A New York judge just put the kibosh on a man’s suit to secure the return of a $53,000 engagement ring from his jilted would-be wife because he sent an ill-advised angry text. [MyFoxNY]

* A German judge allegedly sold thousands of answers to law exams. When authorities closed in, the judge went on the run before being caught with “€30,000 in cash, a loaded pistol and… a 26-year-old Romanian woman.” Who knew bar exam answer keys were the new Blue Sky. [The Local]

* Here’s the 50 Most Comfortable Prisons in the World. Hopefully the judge above will land in JVA Fuhlsbuettel Prison. [Arrest Records]

* Judge lambasts the Bronx DA’s office after an ADA failed to reveal evidence that would have freed a man held at Rikers Island on bogus rape charges. Unfortunately, this isn’t surprising. [New York Daily News]

* Elie says stuff about bullying. [ATL Redline]

* “Kosher hot dog case presents a real constitutional pickle.” *Rim shot* [Reuters]

* Ever wonder how much it costs to open a solo practice? A new solo practitioner opens his financials. [Associate's Mind]

* Don’t call tuition cuts “bold.” [Law School Tuition Bubble]

* Here’s a 30 for 30 spoof about the history of gunners. Embedded after the jump… [TaxProf Blog]

double red triangle arrows Continue reading “Non-Sequiturs: 04.07.14″

I’m about to show you a train wreck. Feel free to laugh as this would-be summer associate impales himself with his own questions.

But I’m not showing you this just for the lulz. This is a public service, a teachable moment for everybody who doesn’t know the line between “effective networking” and “annoying striver”….

double red triangle arrows Continue reading “Gunner FAIL: Firm Rescinds Offer After Offeree Asks Too Many Questions”

That’s not a joke. It might still be too early to apply for clerkships as a first-year law student, but 1Ls should at least be thinking about their clerkship applications — which judges they want to apply to, which professors to seek out as recommenders, and the like — as the spring semester draws to a close.

In case there was any doubt about that, it’s effectively the message the judges are sending too. As we noted in yesterday’s Non-Sequiturs, there’s some important news about the Law Clerk Hiring Plan that first-year law students should know….

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That law firms are all about talent is a commonplace. Too bad that so many lawyers seem to have an uncanny knack for knocking the wind out of the sails of the most spirited contributors.

I dare you to tell me that you don’t recognize at least a few colleagues who exhibit some of the behavior described in The Three Habits of Highly Effective Demotivators, just picked as one of the top posts of 2013 on Booz & Company’s “Strategy & Business” publication. If these colleagues are at your firm now, you know what to do; if they used to be at your firm and you took the necessary measures, congratulations. (Just be on alert that you may have to do it again.)

The author uses the example of a real, but disguised, high-tech startup in the academic sector, whose CEO—otherwise brilliant—was referred to internally, sotto voce, as “the DM,” standing for “the DeMotivator”:

double red triangle arrows Continue reading “From Across the Desk: See Talent. Kill It.”

The Tiger Mother roars again.

That insecurity should be a critical lever of success is another anathema, flouting the entire orthodoxy of contemporary popular and therapeutic psychology…. Note that there’s a deep tension between insecurity and a superiority complex. It’s odd to think of people being simultaneously insecure but also convinced of their divine election or superiority.

– Professors Amy Chua and Jed Rubenfeld of Yale Law School, in their forthcoming book, The Triple Package: How Three Unlikely Traits Explain the Rise and Fall of Cultural Groups in America (affiliate link).

(The 8 superior ethnic cultural groups are listed below. Did yours make the cut?)

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Consider it official: the federal clerkship hiring season is now underway. For 2Ls, that is.

As we reported back in June, “[t]he Law Clerk Hiring Plan is pretty much dead, at least in its strictest version, and it seems like every judge is going his or her own way.” As a result, ambitious 2Ls around the country have already started applying to their favorite federal judges.

Some applicants have been emailing judges directly with materials, and others have been submitting hard-copy applications. They’ve had to do this because OSCAR, the Online System for Clerkship Application and Review, has refused to release the clerkship applications of 2Ls.

Until now. Let’s take a look at what was just posted over at the OSCAR website….

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It says something about you to be labeled as the biggest jerk at Harvard Law School. The school runs on jerks the way Smurfs run on berries. To be universally recognized as the biggest jerk in your class requires an amazing commitment to inhumanity. Think about it: I’m a pretty big jerk, but was I the biggest jerk at HLS while I was there? Please. Kiwi Camara, come on down.

A GQ article by Jason Zengerle yesterday just lit up Ted Cruz over his history of being a giant a$$hole that nobody likes. Josh Marshall from Talking Points Memo, whose wife was at HLS with Cruz, added to the reporting, calling Cruz an “AASS,” which stands for “A$$hole, Arrogant, Super Smart.”

I think a quarter of the HLS class are decent humans who are just trying to get through law school with minimal stress and drama. These are the people who are out there in the world doing good stuff and when somebody says, “Did you know so-and-so went to Harvard?” you’re surprised because they’re such regular, well-adjusted people. A full 50% of the class are impressionable sorts who can access their inner jerk at a moment’s notice. They think they’re decent people with a “dark side,” but actually they’re jerks who don’t have the strength of personality to pull it off all the time. These are the future Biglaw partners of the world.

The last quarter of the class is actively in pursuit of being an AASS. This odious group might go into law or politics or media. They certainly interview with Skadden, but otherwise they don’t last long in Biglaw because they can’t spend 10 years with nobody listening to them. You never for a second do not know which law school they attended.

I think we all know which group I fall into, but my point is that this last group, tallest midgets all, should get its own award named after Ted Cruz…

double red triangle arrows Continue reading “Harvard Law Should Start Giving Out The ‘Ted Cruz Award’ To The Most Annoying Student”

Ed. note: This is the latest installment in a series of posts from the ATL Career Center’s team of expert contributors. Today, Alison Monahan looks at the pros and cons of joining a study group.

My first week of law school, I heard a rumor (which I’m pretty sure was true) that one of my classmates was forming a study group. Great, right? What’s not to like? However, this study group was special — you could only join if you’d gone to Harvard for undergrad!

After I finished cracking up (particularly since this story was conveyed to me by a Yale undergrad), I decided to stay away from study groups, if this is what they were about.

Was that a good decision? Maybe not….

Read more at the ATL Career Center…

So I’m going to smack around a kid right now and it’s going to seem a little mean. He’s something called a “pre-1L” at a little law school most of you have never heard of who is probably just trying to figure out how things work and how to make the most out of his educational experience.

Well, this is how things work. You send out annoying, gunner emails, those emails get sent around the community, and eventually I make fun of you. Here at Above the Law, we’re all about education. This is how people learn.

Don’t worry, I’m a parent now, I know what I’m doing. I’m not going to hurt him. I’m just going to put him in internet “time out,” so he stops emailing with scissors and doesn’t hurt himself for real later…

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These are trying times for clerkship applicants. The Law Clerk Hiring Plan is pretty much dead, at least in its strictest version, and it seems like every judge is going his or her own way.

The best applicants can hope for, in the absence of any standardized approach to law clerk hiring, is transparency. Ideally judges should provide clear and comprehensive information about their own particular approaches to hiring clerks. Thanks to this nifty thing called the internet, it’s not that hard.

As in many things, the Southern District of New York provides a model for other courts to follow….

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