Harvard Law School

Musical Chairs: Patrick Fitzgerald Steps Down As U.S. Attorney

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Yesterday brought some big news out of Chicago. Renowned federal prosecutor Patrick Fitzgerald — who successfully prosecuted such figures as Governor George Ryan, Governor Rod Blagojevich, White House adviser Scooter Libby, and media mogul Conrad Black — announced that he will be stepping down as U.S. Attorney for the Northern District of Illinois. Fitzgerald’s resignation will take effect on June 30.

I had the pleasure of meeting Pat Fitzgerald in October 2007, when he spoke at our alma mater, Regis High School (which he graduated from before going on to Amherst College and Harvard Law School). During the question-and-answer session for his talk, I alluded to his celebrity status and asked him: “What’s next for Patrick Fitzgerald?” I tossed out several possibilities, such as running for political office or working as a male model (in light of his 2005 designation by People magazine as one of the sexiest men alive).

The straight-laced, self-effacing Fitzgerald — who spent his entire talk discussing cases, saying practically nothing about himself — seemed slightly uncomfortable at having the spotlight on him in such a personal way. He diplomatically dodged my question, saying something about how he was just focused on doing the best job possible as U.S. Attorney. This was very proper of him, even if a bit boring.

My question to him, posed back in 2007, was just a hypothetical. But now it has turned actual: What is Pat Fitzgerald going to do next?

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Lawyerly Lairs: The Five Most Expensive Attorney Abodes in Washington, D.C.

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This $10 million house is owned by a lawyer at a top law firm. Which one?

What can we say? We can’t get enough of Washington real estate. And neither can you, judging from the traffic generated by our recent look at some million-dollar homes in the D.C. area. So let’s return to that well.

Our last story was about homes in the $1 million to $3 million range. Let’s class it up a bit and look at Lawyerly Lairs ranging in value from $7 million to $10 million….

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Non-Sequiturs: 05.22.12

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Have we learned nothing from this?

* You think Dharun Ravi was a bad roommate? No, Ravi was just a kid pulling a prank. These guys are bad roommates deserving of jail time. [Associated Press]

* Really, I’m not so much worried about whether or not Jesus was a homophobe. I’m concerned by the guys who claim to be working for him. [WSJ Law Blog]

* New York Athletic Club “ragematch” will have consequences. [Dealbreaker]

* Look, if these judges and attorneys were good at math, they wouldn’t have gone to law school in the first place. [NBC Sports]

* I thought after Katherine Harris, the practice of making people like Katherine Harris important would stop. But, I guess I thought the country would learn, like, at least one lesson from Bush v. Gore. [Election Law Blog]

* I guess some people at Harvard Law are going to try to organize a protest over Eric Holder’s commencement address. [Instapundit]

* A glorious gallery of case studies involving law firm advertising. [Fishman Marketing]

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Quote of the Day: He Became More Powerful Than You Could Possibly Imagine

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My assessment was … that he was going to be the best damn mayor that we’ve ever seen in history.

– Professor Charles Ogletree, describing his impressions of Barack Obama as a Harvard Law 1L.

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Commencement Speakers: Coming To A Law School Near You

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So far this year, we haven’t had any huge commencement kerfuffles over graduation speakers at law schools. Last year, you’ll remember that Michigan Law was in a tizzy over Dean Evan Caminker’s pick of Ohio Senator Rob Portman as a commencement speaker. Portman is one of those anti-marriage equality types, and Michigan Law students actually organized a walkout to protest his divisive views.

This year, Michigan has gone with a much more conservative choice.

Paul Caron at Tax Prof Blog has published his annual list of law school commencement speakers. Michigan Law’s choice is boring, but let’s see if we can’t find somebody else on this list to get excited about…

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Harvard Law Grad Makes JOLTing Discovery: Accusations of Plagiarism Can Ruin Lives

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As a law student, having an article accepted for publication in a law review or journal is usually a great way to ensure that your résumé lands on the top of the enormous stack of papers on the hiring partner’s desk. Having a degree from Harvard Law School is an even better way to do the same thing. But the ultimate claim to success is having both of these things. You’ll get the Biglaw job that you’ve always dreamed of, and a six-figure paycheck to pay off your matching six-figure debt.

Unless you’ve been accused of plagiarism. Then you can kiss all of your dreams goodbye, and say hello to the unemployment line. This is what one recent Harvard Law graduate claims happened to her in a lawsuit against her Ivy league alma mater….

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Morning Docket: 05.08.12

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The Snooki Defense

* Aw, come on, Mort, Dewey really have to pay you $61M? In case you missed it last night, the only thing that made the former vice chairman’s departure memo dramatic was the insane amount that he claims he’s owed. [DealBook / New York Times]

* Congratulations to Jacqueline H. Nguyen on her confirmation to the Ninth Circuit. She’s the first Asian American woman to sit on a federal appellate court, so she’s earned our judicial diva title (in a good way). You go girl! [Los Angeles Times]

* Google might’ve infringed upon Oracle’s copyrights, but a jury couldn’t decide if it constituted fair use. Sorry, Judge Alsup, but with that kind of a decision, you can bet your ass that there’ll be an appeal. [New York Times]

* A Harvard Law professor has come to Elizabeth Warren’s defense, claiming that an alleged affirmative action advantage played no role in her hiring. And besides, even if it did, it only played 1/32 of a role. [Boston Herald]

* Classes at Cooley Law’s Tampa Bay campus began last night. Unsurprisingly, the inaugural class is double the size originally projected, because everyone wants to attend the second-best school in the nation. [MLive]

* Albany Law will be having a three-day conference on the legal implications of the Civil War. This could be a little more exciting if presenters wore reenactment garb and did battle when it was over. [National Law Journal]

* Jury selection is underway in a second degree murder trial that will forever be known as the case where a defendant first raised the “Snooki Defense.” He didn’t kill his wife… but her spray tan did. [CBS Miami]

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The Harvard Law Exam That Requires You To Apply Lessons From ‘12 Angry Men’

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Last fall, we shared the evidence exam of Harvard Law School professor Charles Nesson. His fall exam didn’t seem to require a lot of evidence knowledge.

This semester, Professor Nesson is teaching an “American Jury” class. We received a copy of the spring take-home exam.

How do you ace a class at Harvard? You better play a lot of attention to cases your professor is currently involved in, and you better not fall asleep during the screening of 12 Angry Men….

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The Commendable Yet Futile Harvard Law Campaign To ‘Just Say No’ to Biglaw

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Anybody can say no to crack, but I know Superheroes who wouldn't turn down $160K.

It’s a story so common that it’s almost a cliché to bring it up. Idealistic young people show up at law school full of commitment to the public interest or something similar, time passes, and three years later they’re all heading off to S&C, to Proskauer, to the best Biglaw job they can find. Or they clerk for a year and then go to one of these firms. If they don’t get teaching jobs, you’ll see them sharing offices in the highest-paying law firm they can find.

It happens all the time. And, for the most part, it always happens for the same reason: money. Oh, individuals will tell themselves they gave up on their low-paying dreams for all sorts of reasons. But they’re just trying to make themselves feel better. It’s always about the money. ALWAYS.

Trust me, if it wasn’t always about the money, I would not be able to guarantee a traffic spike whenever I put “bonus” in a headline. Or whenever I write about law firms paying first-year associates more than $160K.

Right now, at Harvard Law School, there is a group of students trying to push back on this transformation of idealistic Harvard Law students into materialistic lawyer drones. It’s a really nice, heartfelt effort, one that we don’t see nearly enough of on campus.

I’m going to be sad when reality wears them out like a Colombian prostitute on some Secret Service agents….

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Harvard Law Turkeys

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Elie’s Fables: Of the Turkey and the Law:

“Come into my house, feast on my knowledge” said The Law, “and you shall furnish a glorious future.”
“I don’t know if I should,” replied the Turkey, “but I have nothing better to do.”
Quickly the bird was seized by Law and prepared for slaughter.
“But you promised a glorious future,” said the Turkey.
“And I shall have one, thanks to the bounty you have provided,” said the Law.

Yes, it is Friday. And yes, I just spent three minutes making up a fable. And now, I present to you a frightened turkey running away from Harvard Law School while one HLS student shows characteristic ignorance about the natural world…

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