Health Care / Medicine
* When you look back and see only one set of footprints, that was when Jesus was telling you, “Don’t go to law school.” [Law School Lemmings]
* Attention summers! Here’s a cavalcade of advice on not acting like an a**hole. [Corporette]
* ABA committee approves new accreditation standards allowing more students to enter without taking the bar exam. Texas breathes a sigh of relief. [LSAT Blog]
* This is the nerdiest law school final ever. Bravo. [Law and the Multiverse]
* Judge and prosecutor discuss dinosaurs. [New Yorker]
* I know a physician sending sexts while patients are under is serious, but I just can’t help but envision Dr. Nick Riviera. [Seattle Times]
* Law firms are rushing to get into the marriage equality game — but only on one side. [Reuters]
* Here’s a nice little listicle of famous female criminals. Just in time for Orange Is The New Black. [Arrest Records]
* Virginia State Senator resigns and changes the leadership of the Senate to the opposite party. Why would he do this? His daughter isn’t going to get a judgeship out of this or anything is she? [Slate]
* The Republicans are in long-term trouble. Maybe they should consider becoming the “party of innovation.” Apparently regulation is the only thing holding that back. Not investing in education, infrastructure, or having a government hostile to science. [National Review]
* Philip K. Howard, the author of The Rule of Nobody (affiliate link) sat down with Jon Stewart on The Daily Show last night. Video after the jump….
A top government lawyer returns to private practice, a top Biglaw partner returns to government, and a firm holds some departing partners prisoner.
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* Who is the “Man In Black?” If you said, “Johnny Cash” you’d have been wrong in this instance. But right in life. [The Volokh Conspiracy / Washington Post]
* Oh screw these guys. Hospital fires a radiation therapist who helped the mother of a cancer patient get in touch with the kid’s favorite football team. [Courthouse News Service]
* The latest on Net Neutrality. [LXBN]
* More news in the struggle to end unpaid internships — plaintiffs suing Warner Bros. have been granted the right to invite more people to a class action party. [Inside Counsel]
* There’s a quirk of the criminal justice system unfairly hurting African-Americans. I’m sorry, I thought that was all the criminal justice system. [PolicyMic]
* We’ve been wondering where Ed Siskel would land after leaving the Office of White House Counsel. Well, now we know. Congratulations WilmerHale. [Main Justice]
Lawyer, heal thyself: the human body is not meant to sit in a chair all day.
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* A surefire way to make your mom proud of you is to file a funny amicus brief with the Supreme Court, get called out for it in the New York Times, and be lauded by us at Above the Law as having filed the “best amicus brief ever.” [Daily Beast]
* Cynthia Brim, a state judge who’s been declared legally insane, wants to return to the judicial bench she’s been suspended from. Hey, you could look at it this way: at least she’d be working for her $182K salary. [Chicago Tribune]
* Our readers will be thrilled to know that beginning this year, lawyers will become obsolete. Artificial intelligence will start taking over your jobs within the next six months or so. [Wired]
* Join the Fordham OUTLaws for a Transgender Law symposium, co-sponsored by Skadden and the LGBT Bar. One of the panelists, Erin Buzuvis, is an amazing professor from my school. [Fordham Law School]
* If you care at all about how well women and minority law students are represented on law reviews, then you’ll want to come to this important event. I’ll be there, and I hope to see you there, too! [Ms. JD]
* In case you were wondering, Penn Law successfully beat the crap out of Wharton (in terms of head to head win-loss record) during the 10th annual Wharton vs. Law Fight Night. [Wharton vs. Law: Fight Night]
* Meet Anthony Halmon, the second-year student at FIU Law who’s relying on his coolness to rock the vote for the SBA presidency. Check out his rap video, after the jump. [Daily Business Review (reg. req.)]
Airplanes / Aviation, Biglaw, Celebrities, Disasters / Emergencies, Divorce Train Wrecks, Entertainment Law, Health Care / Medicine, John Roberts, Law Schools, Mergers and Acquisitions, Morning Docket, SCOTUS, Supreme Court
* After forcing Solicitor General Donald Verrilli to acknowledge that the Affordable Care Act could force for-profit corporations to pay for employees’ abortions, Chief Justice John Roberts seemed rather pleased with himself. [New York Times]
* Sidley Austin just hired a major M&A heavy hitter away from General Electric’s legal department. Congratulations to Chris Barbuto. We suppose he can make it rain as outside counsel now. [DealBook / New York Times]
* Because there’s no time too soon for an ambulance airplane chaser, the beginnings of the first lawsuit lodged against Malaysian Air after Flight 370′s probable crash was filed in court yesterday. [Bloomberg]
* UC Hastings and Iowa are the latest law schools to offer 3+3 accelerated degree programs. What a great recruiting tool for Iowa, which recently saw enrollment levels plunge by 40 percent. [National Law Journal]
* One month after the internet exploded with rumors of Gwyneth Paltrow having an affair with entertainment lawyer Kevin Yorn, the star announced her split from her husband. Coincidence? [New York Daily News]
* Professor Ann Althouse’s analysis of today’s Hobby Lobby and Conestoga Wood arguments before SCOTUS. [Althouse]
* Professor Nelson Tebbe’s take on the proceedings. [Balkinization]
* Finally, a very Jezebel assessment: “Supreme Court Prepares to F**k Up This Birth Control Thing.” [Jezebel]
* “JUDGE TO PORN TROLLS: IP Addresses Aren’t People.” [Instapundit]
* YouTube videos and text messages surface in the Oscar Pistorius murder trial. [IT-Lex]
* “Her” was an excellent movie — and it might contain lessons for lawyers and the legal profession, as John Hellerman argues. [Hellerman Baretz]
* Upskirt photos not illegal in Massachusetts. The spirit of Kennedy lives on! [Mass Live]
* The investigation continues into whether Judge Mike Maggio, who might be the infamous Geauxjudge, suffers from a bad case of the Internet Crazies — but in the meantime, his campaign for the Court of Appeals took a hit. [Arkansas Times]
* Speaking of judicial ethics, Judge Kimberly Brown has been removed from the bench in Indiana. She’s only the third judge ever to be permanently removed from the job. [Indy Star]
* Wachtell Lipton partner Ricky Mason and his wife, Hoboken mayoral candidate Beth Mason, have been charged with several election-law violations. Uh-oh. [PolitickerNJ]
* Which state just ruled that you have a reasonable expectation of privacy in texting… even if you’re texting about a heroin deal? [IT-Lex]
* Dewey love the judge’s name in the Barclays suit over the dead firm’s debts? Yes. Because “Popplewell” is an awesome name. [The Lawyer]
* The data are in, and the top college grads have passed an all-important math test: they figured out law school is a bad deal. [Associate’s Mind]
* Yet another Florida law school dean has stepped down. This is what happens when you take a job in a state full of retired people. [Daily Business Review]
* Obamacare has been credited — and bashed — for a lot, but are we underselling its role in reducing prison populations? [Sentencing Law and Policy]
* For the first time ever, someone managed to record secret video footage at SCOTUS during oral arguments — and, of course, it’s secret video footage of the McCutcheon protestor’s outburst. You can check it out after the jump. [Reuters]
* After a brief hospitalization yesterday, Attorney General Eric Holder was discharged from the hospital with a clean bill of health. It looks like he won’t have to go to one of those Obamacare death panels after all! [Washington Post]
* “The trajectory of an associate in a law firm has changed irreversibly.” Ain’t that the truth. But seriously, what happened to all of the Biglaw lawyers who were Lathamed way back in 2009? Here are some of their stories. [Am Law Daily]
* More law schools are trying to convince students to attend by offering scholarships. Tulsa will toss you cash if you’re from the sticks, and TJSL will guarantee you money if you’re smart. [National Law Journal]
* A trial date has been set for accused Colorado movie theater shooter James Holmes. Get ready to see this crazy face on HLN 24 hours a day while Nancy Grace offers her ever insightful commentary. [CNN]
(Keep reading to see the now legendary Supreme Court oral argument protest footage.)
What was Attorney General Eric Holder hospitalized for?
Childish temper tantrum put down on paper in crazy dissent.