Maybe they should just change the name of Silicon Valley to Valley of the Lawsuits. Tech companies love to sue each other. Today, the media has been abuzz about the start of the long-awaited IP trial between Apple and Samsung. Apple has accused Samsung (and other companies in other cases) of ripping off its iPhone and iPad designs. Jury selection began this morning in San Jose, and opening statements are expected before the end of the day.
When I think of Jack Daniels, I think of getting drunk and saying outrageous things. I think of being sad and drowning my sorrows. I think of getting loaded and losing bar fights.
I don’t think of diffusing tense situations with reason and civility.
I’m going to guess that the lawyers for Jack Daniels who wrote this cease and desist letter didn’t have any of their client’s product before sending it out. It’s way too nice. In fact, it’s probably the nicest cease and desist that anybody has ever seen….
- Basketball, Breasts, Intellectual Property, Oral Sex / Blow Jobs, Porn Names, Pornography, Sports, Trademarks
Two porn stars made a “bet” on Twitter that they’d perform oral sex on fans of the Miami Heat if the team won the NBA championship. I’m not sure what these ladies agreed to do if the Heat lost; I’m going to pretend that they promised to “go back to college and blow your minds,” because I like the thought of LeBron being blamed for ruining their chances at an education.
In any event, the Heat won, and the women committed to going through with their dare. They set up a website, TeamBJNBA, to promulgate the rules of their free giveaway — because if they were paid to service the fans, THAT would be wrong and illegal.
But it appears that the NBA noticed their branding. I can only imagine the kind of person who would be confused into thinking that the NBA now sponsored BJs for fans of championship teams… though if they did, I suspect interest in the league would increase exponentially. The NBA moved to stop the giveaway, but you can’t keep good girls up off their knees.
Details, pictures, silicone, and notes on how to retrieve your champion rewards to follow….
- Attorney Misconduct, Bail, Biglaw, Constitutional Law, Drinking, DUI / DWI, Intellectual Property, Law Schools, Morning Docket, Murder, SCOTUS, Supreme Court, United Kingdom / Great Britain
* Who needs a Declaration of Internet Freedom when the government supports protesting citizens who go buckwild in the streets? The European Union voted against ratification of the Anti-Counterfeiting Trade Agreement. [Associated Press]
* Kenneth Schneider, the former Debevoise & Plimpton associate serving a 15-year sentence for forcing a Russian teenager to be his sex slave, was suspended from practice pending further disciplinary proceedings. [New York Law Journal]
* Glenn Mulcaire, the investigator who intercepted voicemail messages on behalf of News of the World, lost a bid to remain silent about who commissioned his services. Rupert’s gonna be sooo pissed. [New York Times]
* Congratulations to the team from the University of Chicago Law School that won the United States Supreme Court Prediction Competition. They won $5K for betting on their Con Law nerd-dom. [SCOTUS Competition]
* Judge Kenneth Lester Jr. is expected to rule on George Zimmerman’s motion for bond today, and perhaps he won’t be so quick to forget that the defendant already lied to the court to get out of jail. [Orlando Sentinel]
* “You can’t just arbitrarily add anything you want to a sentence.” Well, it looks like you can, because in addition to jail time, a judge in South Carolina tacked on a Biblical book report to this woman’s sentence. [Daily Mail]
- Airplanes / Aviation, California, Constitutional Law, Copyright, Department of Justice, Federal Government, Federal Judges, Food, Gay Marriage, Intellectual Property, John Roberts, Law Schools, Morning Docket, SCOTUS, Supreme Court, UNC Law
Ed. note: Your Above the Law editors are busy celebrating their freedom today (and we hope that you are, too). We will return to our regular publication schedule on Thursday, July 5.
* At this point, the Supreme Court’s dramatic deliberations on the Affordable Care Act are like a leaking sieve. Now we’ve got dueling narratives on Chief Justice Roberts’s behind-the-scenes flip-flopping. [WSJ Law Blog]
* Life, liberty, and the pursuit of fabulosity! The Department of Justice has asked the Supreme Court to grant cert on two DOMA cases, contending that Section 3 of the statute is unconstitutional. [Poliglot / Metro Weekly]
* A famous fabulist: according to California’s State Bar, disgraced journalist Stephen Glass is a “pervasive and documented liar,” but that’s not stopping him from trying to get his license to practice law. [Los Angeles Times]
* Clayton Osbon, the JetBlue pilot who had an epic mid-flight nutty and started ranting about religion and terrorists, was found not guilty by reason of insanity by a federal judge during a bench trial. [New York Post]
* After a month of bizarre legal filings, Charles Carreon has dropped his lawsuit against Matthew Inman of The Oatmeal. We’re hoping that there will be an awesome victory cartoon drawn up soon. [Digital Life / Today]
* Northwestern Law is the only American law school to have joined a 17-member global justice league geared toward legal teaching and research collaborations. But do they get cool costumes? [National Law Journal]
* UNC Law received two charitable gifts totaling $2.7M that will be used to fund tuition scholarships for current and future students. Maybe their students won’t have to create tuition donation sites anymore. [Herald-Sun]
* This law is for the birds (literally and figuratively). California’s ban on the sale of foie gras had only been in effect for one day before the first lawsuit was filed to overturn it as unconstitutional. [San Francisco Chronicle]
* The National Oceanic and Atmospheric Administration of the Department of Commerce recently announced that mermaids do not exist. Not to worry — it’s still legal to believe that Ariel is a babe. [New York Daily News]
We celebrate America on July 4th because that is the day in 1776 when the Declaration of Independence was adopted by the Second Continental Congress. The Declaration of Independence is one of the most important documents in history. Even though the brilliant men who wrote it and signed it were largely hypocrites who couldn’t see the self-evident truth that women and blacks were endowed with the same inalienable rights as white male landowners, the fact that they bothered to write them down is a starting gun for the modern march of freedom that even today topples tyranny and oppression.
Nobody will ever write the above paragraph about the “Declaration of Internet Freedom” that is making the rounds this week. In fact, most likely nobody will write anything at all about the Internet Declaration two weeks from now because the document is devoid of anything approaching a coherent articulation of the rights of “the internet” or anybody else.
Apparently, 85 organizations and many people have signed this thing, which looks to capitalize on the grassroots effort to stop SOPA legislation. I’m not sure if anybody involved with the project ran this by a lawyer, because this doesn’t appear to be a serious effort to promote a legal construct that will protect the freedom of anything….
* Nothing says justice like for-profit probation companies. [New York Times]
* Was this really a courtroom exchange involving Redskins tight end Fred Davis, or was it a weird performance art piece/Abbott and Costello comedy routine? [Washingtonian]
* There is no such thing as a free trip to Disney World. Well, technically there is. There are many, in fact, at least until you get caught. [Legal Juice]
* The insane legal fight between the Oatmeal and Charles Carreon continues to get weirder. Oh yeah, and serial suer extraordinaire Jonathan Lee Riches has hopped into the fray as well. [Lowering the Bar]
* RIP Andy Griffith, a.k.a. Matlock, one of the most famous television attorneys of all time. My grandmother is probably very sad today. [WSJ Law Blog]
Did you know that for years, the U.S. Patent and Trademark has operated almost entirely out of one location in northern Virginia? Kind of odd, seeing as out in California we’ve got that whole Silicon Valley thing going on. And Virginia is kind of far away.
But, no longer. The PTO announced that it is opening several new offices across the country. Can you guess where?
- Cyberlaw, Department of Justice, Entertainment Law, Federal Government, Intellectual Property, Technology
The train wreck that is the Department of Justice’s criminal copyright case against Megaupload and its eccentric CEO, Kim Dotcom, is spiraling out of control faster and faster. And I have to admit, as a music-obsessed child of the ’90s and the download era, God, it is fun to watch.
A New Zealand court made another ruling today, and it’s another sledgehammer to the government’s case against the formerly massive cyber locker. Keep reading to see what once was a slamdunk case continue crumbling before our eyes….
What’s Happening In the Megaupload Case? Also: Kim Dotcom Joins Twitter, Uses It To Make Legal JokesBy Christopher Danzig
As part of our continuing coverage of Maximus, err, Kim Dotcom, the charismatic, renegade technology leader of Megaupload who appears to be in the process of defying an entertainment empire, let’s take a quick look at the most recent filings in his copyright fight with United States government.
Plus, more importantly, we have a look at Dotcom’s awesome new Twitter feed. Spoiler alert: the account includes photographic evidence of money “laundering,” “racketeering,” and a guest appearance by the Woz…