Interns

‘So I says to Mabel, I says, ‘How do I avoid the Rule Against Perpetuities?”

* Half-Law office, Half-Barbershop. That makes sense, I’ve seen some haircuts that should be crimes. We hear they even have a $5 haircut special called “The Misdemeanor.” [New Britain Herald]

* The editors of Ramblings on Appeal give their takes on Shelby County. Rarely has truer legal analysis been offered than characterizing Roberts’s decision as, “Oh and I have five people on my side, you only have four, so take that.” [Ramblings on Appeal]

* UVA law professor Chris Sprigman has co-authored an op-ed calling out the NSA. Oh, that guy’s phone is getting tapped. [New York Times]

* The Expert Institute continues to draw from popular culture to coach expert testimony. This time it’s Game of Thrones. It’s a handy set of lessons, but “Never Trust a Frey” deserved mention. [The Expert Institute]

* The Justice Department is bringing on unpaid attorneys because slave labor is awesome and unpaid internships are never elitist and discriminatory. [Pro Publica]

* On that note, Bar President calls for an end to unpaid 3L internships. Video after the jump…

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If you were hoping to spend a year with no pay helping a premier Internet publication write up a sighting of Amanda Bynes at Shake Shack, you may soon be out of luck.

On the heels of Judge William Pauley ruling in favor of unpaid interns in the entertainment industry, the Internet behemoth that is Gawker Media is the subject of a new class action for its unpaid internships.

Which means this was probably a bad day for them to make jokes about the practice of abusing interns…

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BP Interns preparing to take over operations at Deepwater Horizon, April 19, 2010.

For the record, that was not the “royal ‘we’” in the title — here at Above the Law, we pay our interns. But a whole lot of folks don’t, because when no one else is hiring, companies can get away with offering to hire folks for the promise of experience and a cup of coffee (disclaimer: “Cup of Coffee” not provided).

Mercifully, law firms haven’t succumbed to the impulse to bring on interns for free. Oops, spoke too soon (fourth item).

But Judge William Pauley of the Southern District of New York delivered some big wins for unpaid interns yesterday…

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Experience doesn’t pay the rent.

The ABA agrees that exploitation of law students and other interns is unacceptable; however, the FLSA uncertainty inhibits law firms from offering students the opportunity to work on pro bono matters in a real-life practice setting. …

Furthermore, in the current economic climate with shrunken employment opportunities for law school graduates, hindering the ability of law students and recent graduates to work side-by-side with experienced lawyers who could provide both strong mentoring and favorable substantive references unnecessarily reduces access for future employment prospects.

Laurel Bellows, president of the American Bar Association, in a letter to the U.S. Department of Labor endorsing the use by private law firms of unpaid law student and graduate labor.

(Absurd and out of touch? I’d say so. Keep reading to see the entire letter.)

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* Texas law student/international small-arms dealer Cody Wilson got shot down (pun!) days after revealing a fully security-proof 3D printable gun. The State Department pointed out that Wilson seems to be violating all manner of international arms agreements, which was pretty obvious when he went on video boasting about how his weapons were being used in hotbeds of civil strife. [Foreign Policy: Passport]

* The Juice may soon be loose! But probably not. O.J. Simpson has a hearing seeking a new trial in Las Vegas and blaming his former lawyer, Yale Galanter. Best part? Simpson claims Galanter approved the whole “armed, threatening confrontation” plan beforehand. Oops. [FOX News]

* Michael Arrington, a lawyer and “one of the most powerful people on the Internet,” is suing his ex-girlfriend for defamation. The complaint compiles some pretty salacious claims that she made via social media. [Valleywag]

* Just when you thought being an unpaid intern couldn’t be sadder, Judge Baer makes it sadder. [Fashionista]

* The “Thug’s Lawyer” got a reprieve when a judge tossed his indictment for conspiracy, obstruction of justice, theft, and perjury. [The Advocate]

* The EEOC filed suit against a Miami company that required its employees to become Scientologists. In other news, someone actually thought they could get away with making all their employees join the Church of Scientology. [Lowering the Bar]

* The history of the Madison Avenue IPOs alluded to in last week’s Mad Men. [DealBook]

Honestly, I’m surprised this kind of thing doesn’t happen more often.

Tipsters report that a recent graduate returned to his law school campus and proceeded to throw some kind of tantrum. One source alleges that the recent grad was seen “knocking over security guards” and was eventually led away in handcuffs, shouting at students on his way out.

And this isn’t even the most shocking security breach that has taken place at this law school over the years, because sending out an alert to beware of the guy who allegedly throws a fit is a lot better than sending out alerts about the guy who is masturbating in the law school library….

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* As President Barack Obama’s position on gay marriage continues to “evolve,” we’re left wondering what exactly Solicitor General Donald Verrilli will say come Supreme Court oral arguments showtime in late March. [New York Times]

* “This is a chilling document.” The moment you’ve been waiting for has arrived: the DOJ memo about the Obama administration’s most secretive and controversial policy, the legal justification of drone strikes against American citizens, was leaked. [NBC News]

* In the litigation blame game, the Department of Justice has a lawsuit cooking against Standard & Poor’s, the supposed “key enablers of the financial meltdown,” over the agency’s mortgage bond ratings. [Reuters]

* Many pieces from Dewey & LeBoeuf’s massive art collection were auctioned off on Friday for $528,120. The failed firm’s creditors must be chomping at the bit as they wait to receive the proceeds. [Blog of Legal Times]

* You must remember Cynthia Brim, the Chicago judge who was declared “legally insane.” She’s too insane to be found guilty of a battery charge, but not quite insane enough to lose her reelection bid. [Chicago Tribune]

* Apologies to those with disabilities in California, but this ruling has given the Law School Admissions Council free reign to continue to flag your applications if you got extra time on the LSAT. [National Law Journal]

* GW Law School is adding a new question to its application to gauge the LGBT status its applicants. Not sure how this will affect cratering applications, but drink more of the Kool Aid if it makes you feel better. [GW Hatchet]

* Here’s some sage advice from our managing editor: “If you’re not okay with working for free, don’t take the internship.” Or, in the alternative, you can sue, and win a fat settlement check. [International Business Times]

Ahh, cover letters. It’s incredibly boring to write them as a job seeker, and even more excruciating to read them as an employer. These days, people have got to be wondering if writing another tame, boilerplate cover letter is even worth it. After all, most of them know where their application package is going: the trash folder. So why not do something to make yourself stand out?

We’ve seen countless superb specimens that longtime readers may remember, like that of the unemployed law grad who turned all of his rejection letters into an “unorthodox” cover letter. That fellow didn’t receive an offer, but today, we’ve got one that’s really piqued employers’ interest. It’s been forwarded around the finance world, and now it’s even made its way to legal inboxes across the country. This kid may want an i-banking internship now, but he’s also a prospective law student.

The cover letter has been described by its hundreds of recipients as “hilarious but bold,” “amazing,” “a gem,” and “AWESOME.” Here’s just a little snippet of what we’re about to show you:

I have no qualms about fetching coffee, shining shoes or picking up laundry, and will work for next to nothing.

Picture this guy, coming to a law school classroom near you. That’s some real head-bitch-in-charge potential right there. His cover letter is brutally honest, to a fault, which is what makes it so damn great.

Let’s take a look at this thing, and help it go even more viral….

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As 2012 draws to a close, marked by bonus announcements and holiday parties, many of our readers are thinking about making career transitions. Departure memos follow bonus checks as naturally as models and bottles follow… bonus checks.

Here at Above the Law, we regularly receive inquiries from people interested in working with us, on either a full-time basis or as guest contributors. While we are thankful for your interest, we are usually not in a position where we are looking (so if you don’t hear back from us in response to your query or pitch, please assume that we’re passing).

But right now we happen to be in hiring mode. Keep reading for information about the two positions we’re hoping to fill….

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Lawyers aren’t known for their attractiveness, nor are they supposed to have sex lives. Because really, how are they supposed to fit in time for getting it in when they’re supposed to be working 100 hours a week?

Law students, however, are a completely different story. Law students have plenty of time to get down and dirty, and when they do, you can be sure that their sexual partners are at least moderately good-looking in the real world. Let’s face it: as a law student, it’s almost like you’re wearing beer goggles to gauge the overall attractiveness of your classmates. A law school “10″ is most assuredly a real world “7″ or “8″ — still hot, but not quite as appealing outside of hallowed halls of your law school.

But you know what will bump up the attractiveness quotient of any law student? Putting your sex life online, in graphic detail, where everyone can read about all of the hot lesbian action that you’ve been getting as a summer associate at a law firm.

This isn’t the first Sapphic summer story to grace our pages, and hopefully it won’t be the last. Avert your eyes if need be; reader discretion is advised….

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