* Pet therapy? This is what you’re doing with your time? This is why Cardozo can’t have nice things. [Cardozo Law]
* Nobody likes name-calling, but opting for the death penalty just because you don’t want to be called “retarded”? That’s, um, what’s the word I’m looking for? [Cincinnati Enquirer]
* Live tweeting a prostitution sting. Yeah there’s no way this could go wrong. [Slate]
* Law student says cops beat him so hard he lost a testicle. Um. That’s horrible. [KOB]
* Do you fancy yourself a funny lawyer? Then enter New York’s Funniest Professional competition. Lawyers square off later this month. [Gotham Comedy Club / Manhattan Comedy School]
* Judge sentences rapist to 45-days and community service… working in a rape crisis center. Because the victim was “promiscuous.” How could anyone be this tone-deaf? Oh, it’s in Texas? Never mind. [CNN]
* California lawyers now must promise to be courteous. Play nice, kids. [LA Times]
* Finally, it’s time to wish a happy birthday to Winston & Strawn’s Jonathan Amoona, who was on the 2014 Forbes 30 Under 30 list. I guess he won’t be anymore. His 30th birthday invitation went out to the managing partner and a bunch of the top rainmakers, which isn’t toolish at all. The invite is available after the jump….