Johnny Manziel (By: Thomas Campbell-USA TODAY Sports)
I have nightmares of [Johnny] Manziel; he needs sex therapy. Seeing Manziel with his small penis caused me psychological emotional distress. I had to see a psychologist because I have nightmares of Manziel’s penis.
* Nothing says justice like for-profit probation companies. [New York Times]
* Was this really a courtroom exchange involving Redskins tight end Fred Davis, or was it a weird performance art piece/Abbott and Costello comedy routine? [Washingtonian]
* There is no such thing as a free trip to Disney World. Well, technically there is. There are many, in fact, at least until you get caught. [Legal Juice]
* The insane legal fight between the Oatmeal and Charles Carreon continues to get weirder. Oh yeah, and serial suer extraordinaire Jonathan Lee Riches has hopped into the fray as well. [Lowering the Bar]
The Chicago River is only slightly less green when it's not St. Patrick's Day.
* America’s favorite serial litigant, Jonathan Lee Riches, wants to make an appearance as former Detroit Mayor Kwame Kilpatrick’s lawyer. [Detroit News]
* You better run and hide, because the vacuum bandit is coming to town. [Legal Juice]
* A Chicago reporter fell into in the Chicago sewer system River. He is currently on a respirator, and another court reporter has set up a relief fund for him. Get well soon, Andrew Pitts. [Kruse Reporters Blog]
* Speaking of Chicago, this could be an Odd Couple reboot: The drug dealer and his roommate, a local prosecutor. What goofy hijinks will they get into next? [Chicago Tribune]
* This Australian reporter says the American legal system has evolved to conceal truth, not reveal it. See how long you can read this before smoke starts coming out your ears. [The Atlantic]
* Happy Father’s Day! Even to all the famous, lawbreaking dads out there. [Attorney Fee]
And if you thought that the Patrick Ewing of Suing would cease and desist once he was released from prison, then you were dead wrong. According to his various Facebook pages, he intends to “flood the universe with more lawsuits.” Now that he’s out of the pokey and has computer access, you can count on many more entertaining filings from him.
One of his latest lawsuits has already hit the papers, and we don’t see why the targets of his affections would want to dismiss the case — after all, they’re some of the most fame-hungry people on the planet (sorry Gloria Allred). We’re talking about the KKK Kardashian Klan, which consists of Khloe, Kourtney, and Kim.
What kind of wild allegations has Riches made against the woman with whom he claims he’s had a “relationship off and on since 2002″?
* It looks like Jonathan Lee Riches has some competition. Check out this crazy lawsuit filed against Apple (and many other defendants), by one David Louis Whitehead. Why do the wackos always have three names? [Apple Insider]
* Check out Professor Glenn Reynolds’s interesting argument against a federally-mandated drinking age of 21. “If you get shot at, you can have a shot.” [Wall Street Journal via Instapundit]
* The FTC is holding Google’s balls feet to the fire over its privacy practices. Want to turn up the heat a few degrees? [EPIC]
Do you heart boobies? I do -- for aesthetic reasons, and as symbols of female seductive power.
* Speaking of body parts, would this lawsuit have turned out differently if the bracelets, instead of promoting breast cancer awareness by declaring “I ♥ Boobies,” promoted testicular cancer awareness and read “I ♥ Balls”? [Philadelphia Inquirer via WSJ Law Blog]
* And speaking of free speech and schools, Congress should proceed with caution when passing anti-harassment legislation. [Chronicle of Higher Education]
* Biglaw partners team up with a former federal prosecutor to launch a new litigation boutique. Say hello to Levine Lee LLP. [Am Law Daily]
But the embarrassment of riches in Riches’s latest complaint should remind everyone why he is still the king of pro se whackjobs. On January 24th, he filed for a temporary restraining order against Jared Lee Loughner, the alleged shooter in the Tucson attacks. Riches claims that if the Bureau of Prisons should transfer Loughner to the Lexington, Kentucky facility that currently holds Riches, Loughner might use “his bare hands or a prison shank to kill me for being a moderate Democrat.”
And if you know anything about Riches, you know that quote isn’t anywhere near the craziest claim in his complaint…
Ed. note: The Asia Chronicles column is authored by Kinney Recruiting. Kinney has made more placements of U.S. associates, counsels and partners in Asia than any other recruiting firm in each of the past seven years. You can reach them by email: firstname.lastname@example.org.
It’s that time of year again when JDs are starting to apply for 2L summer jobs and 2L summers are deciding which practice area to focus on.
For those JDs with an interest in potentially lateraling to or transferring to Asia in the future, please feel free to reach out to Kinney for advice on firm choices, interviewing and practice choices, relating to future marketability in Asia, or for a general discussion on your particular Asia markets of interest. This is of course a free of cost service for those who some years in the future may be our future industry contacts or perhaps even clients.
For some years now Kinney’s Asia head, Evan Jowers, has been formally advising Harvard Law students with such questions, as the Asia expert in Harvard Law’s “Ask The Experts Market Program” each summer and fall, with podcasts and scheduled phone calls. This has been an enjoyable and productive experience for all involved.
Whether you’re fresh off the bar exam or hitting your stride after hanging a shingle a few years ago, one thing’s for certain: independent attorneys who start a solo or small-law practice live with a certain amount of stress.
Non-attorneys would think the stress comes from preparing for a big trial, deposing a hostile witness, or crafting the perfect contract for a picky client.
But that’s nothing compared to the constant, nagging, real-life kind, the kind you get from the day-to-day grind of being a law-abiding attorney.
Connecticut plaintiffs-side boutique litigation firm (12 lawyers) seeks full-time associate with 2-4 years litigation experience, top tier undergraduate and law school education. Journal or clerkship experience a plus; highest ethical standards and strong work ethic required. Familiarity with Connecticut state court legal practice is preferred, but not required.
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Additional information can be located on our website, at www.sgtlaw.com.