Jonathan Turley

On Friday, special prosecutor Michael McCrum secured an indictment of Texas Governor Rick Perry. Perry, whose 2012 campaign is the first abortion Republicans have celebrated in years, is accused of coercion and abusing his office when he threatened to, and subsequently did, revoke funding for the Public Integrity Unit. That unit is charged with rooting out government corruption, and Perry took away its budget because the district attorney in charge of the unit — a Texas Democrat — was convicted of drunk driving and wouldn’t step down. Perry thought she should leave her post because she had lost the public trust over her conviction and not at all because she had been investigating possible corruption related to Perry’s signature project, the Cancer Prevention and Research Institute of Texas.

If you don’t think this is shady and improper, you’re a hyperpartisan for Perry. Entirely obliterating the agency charged with protecting citizens from official corruption because you don’t like the person in charge — for whatever reason — smacks of overreach. Imagine Congress and the President zero-funding the Supreme Court because they wanted one justice to resign. It’s just cockroach hunting with a bazooka.

Still, is it criminal as opposed to just shady? That’s a different question. Law professors weigh in….

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Are there lots of people in law school who are under 21? Are there lots of people in law school who can’t give legal consent for taking out hundreds of thousands in student loan money? Are there lots of people in law school who should have to ask for a hall pass before they go take a leak? Not many? Then maybe law students should be allowed to congregate and have a freaking beer without the administration threatening them with sanctions. Maybe the law school’s policies regarding alcohol at student functions should be a little bit different than the policy of the undergraduate school. Maybe a group of legal educators should be able to DISTINGUISH between a law student and a college freshman.

A law school has come up with a set of embarrassing and ludicrous alcohol-related policies, and now it’s threatening students who try to work around them…

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* Law professors testify to Congress that President Obama is abusing his power by circumventing Congress. Is this the Congress that takes 239 days of vacation each year and set a record for being the least productive in history? I wonder why any chief executive would circumvent them… [The Blog of the Legal Times]

* Magic Circle firms raise their rates, with partners billing around $1375.56/hour. Blimey! [The Careerist]

* A law firm paid for a nativity scene in a state capitol building. Sound the litigation alarm! [ABA Journal]

* Supreme Court seems hesitant to help out a guy who lost his frequent flyer miles for constantly complaining to his airline. On the one hand, customers shouldn’t be penalized for voicing their concerns. On the other hand, this guy’s “complaints” included his luggage taking too long to come out on the carousel. Chill the hell out. [Associated Press via Daily Finance]

* A SAC Capital employee carefully weighed the “risk-reward” of complying with the “law.” [Dealbreaker]

* Former Tyco CEO Dennis Kozlowski is getting paroled. Now I feel old because I represented a witness in that trial. [Dealbook / New York Times]

* A middle school principal in Texas is placed on administrative leave for banning students from conversing in Spanish at school. What a puta. [Associated Press via Business Insider]

* The rules to the self-proclaimed greatest law school drinking game of all time. Or a look at what Australian law school guys do instead of study. Video after the jump… [YouTube]

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* Yesterday, we talked about Professor Jonathan Turley being butthurt over the criticism he received from Ann Althouse and others. Today, Althouse responds. I’m keeping my powder dry till Thursday, when I will undoubtedly have a full mental breakdown as SCOTUS overturns a healthcare plan I didn’t really like in the first place. [Althouse]

* Woman gets raped. Woman gets morning after pill. Woman reports rape to police. Police arrest woman on outstanding, unrelated warrant. Warden confiscates pill because that’s what Jesus would have wanted. Do I have to explicitly say this happened in Florida, or did I give you enough context clues? [The Daily Dolt]

* Hedge fund manager who faked his own death has thoughts on famous murders. [Dealbreaker]

* Some other ways for law firms to compete for clients beyond offering the lowest price. [What About Clients?]

* I think if this Miami Heat owner insists on proceeding with this lawsuit, then we should all get to Champagne Bukkake him when he loses. [The Legal Satyricon]

* Check out this awesome podcast I was on last night. Not only did I get progressively more drunk while taping, I think I also said that Roberts “isn’t so bad” and then named my favorite Justice appointed by a Republican. [Recess Appointment]

It's their world and we're all just playing in it.

* This is a great article on why the Supreme Court doesn’t leak, while more important institutions, like our national security apparatus, leak like a freaking sieve. [New Republic]

* Most law professors think the Affordable Care Act is constitutional. Most law professors think the Supreme Court will overturn the ACA anyway. ARE YOU NOT ENTERTAINED? [Bloomberg]

* And now for some SCOTUS thoughts from the amazingly amorphous Mitt Romney. Look at his works in equivocation, ye mighty, and despair. [Washington Post]

* You know, I don’t know how they afford this stuff, but having an inalienable right to “paid vacation” really feels like the kind of European invention we should be emulating. Good ideas can come from anywhere, folks. [Legal Blog Watch]

* Letting students sit for the bar exam after their second year but then making them come back to school for an even more obviously useless third year is a great way to make somebody have a total mental dissociative break. Just imagine calculating how much money you’re being forced to waste while you sit there in a 3L seminar called “Law and Ceramics.” [Faculty Lounge]

* Oh, I like this. The little Democrat in me can’t help but like this: a “global” financial transaction tax. Mmm… there’s nothing like the smell of global redistributive fairness. [Overlawyered]

* Jonathan Turley seems hurt that Ann Althouse and other conservative academics acted in a way that shows “we have lost the tradition of civil discourse in this country.” Yeah, umm, Professor Turley, perhaps you didn’t read the footnotes, but here on the internet we don’t have a tradition of civil discourse. We do have a tradition of ad hominem attacks, hyperbole, and pictures of cats. [Jonathan Turley]

Luckily for all the non-Mormons in Idaho, the state doesn't find references to grand tetons offensive to anybody.

It’d be one thing if the state of Idaho banned all alcohol because the state sports a large Mormon population and Mormons don’t drink. That might raise a Con Law question or two, but before we could even litigate it out, the state’s many non-Mormons would rebel against the religious theocracy preventing them from drinking. (They wouldn’t call it a “theocracy” because some Grover Norquist-type would convince them that “redistributive taxes” had empowered a “Communist regime,” and the good people of Idaho would blame the black guy, but I digress.)

Banning all alcohol would be too obvious of an imposition of religious dogma upon a secular concern.

Instead, Idaho is trying to get away with a smaller encroachment of religion upon the public sphere. The state of Idaho has effectively banned the sale of one particular kind of vodka because the state believes the company’s marketing campaign is offensive to Mormons.

And no, the marketing campaign is not “drink some of this vodka and then go make fun of Mormons,” or anything the state could reasonably fear might affect the public safety of the citizens of Idaho….

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Zombie Mohammed

What can we say? Around these parts, we enjoy talking about zombies. Zombies that usher in the apocalypse. Zombies that can do document review. Even zombie law firms.

So let’s discuss what everyone else is discussing: the “Zombie Mohammed” case. Earlier this month, Judge Mark W. Martin dismissed a harassment charge against Talaag Elbayomy, a Muslim man who allegedly attacked Ernie Perce, an atheist who was dressed up as “Zombie Muhammad.” The incident took place during last year’s Halloween parade in Mechanicsburg, Pennsylvania.

Since news of the ruling became public, things have gone crazy. Let’s discuss, and take an opinion poll….

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* More law school graduates are trying to get their day in court for bankruptcy protection. Looks like these people didn’t read their student loan MPNs carefully (or at all). They state pretty clearly that you’re screwed for life. [Reuters]

* Part-time programs are closing their doors. Even Cooley Law took a hit, trimming its incoming class by one-third. Now, only 57 bajillion students get to attend the nation’s second-best law school. [National Law Journal]

* James R. Silkenat was selected as the president-elect at the ABA’s Midyear Meeting, meaning his ascension to the presidency is “virtually assured.” We can only hope that his leadership is as awesome as his combover. [ABA Journal]

* PETA’s Thirteenth Amendment whale slavery lawsuit is heading to court today in California. Maybe we’ll see if what SeaWorld calls a “baseless” and “offensive” lawsuit has got legs. Or flippers. [CNN]

* Polygamy for all! Kody Brown’s bigamy lawsuit will proceed in Utah thanks to Jonathan Turley’s lawyering. Are we going to see the drama play out on season three of Sister Wives this spring? [Associated Press]

* It turns out that Dr. Susan Friery, one of the Boston Globe’s beautiful Massachusetts lawyers of 2009, is just a doctor of laws. She was suspended for claiming otherwise late last week. [Thomson Reuters News & Insight]

* Joshua Monson, the suspected serial lawyer stabber, must regret this missed opportunity. While signing documents with his weapon of choice, he allegedly punched a corrections officer in the face. [Daily Herald]

* Patriots running back BenJarvus Green-Ellis, otherwise known as “The Law Firm,” was supposed to go to law school. And even even with that loss, it looks like he still picked the right career path. [New York Times]

Jeff Cox

What in the world is going on with our state attorneys general?

First there was the amazing Andrew Shirvell, former Michigan assistant attorney general. Shirvell used every form of media, social and otherwise, to stalk make people aware of the demonic student body president of the University of Michigan, Chris Armstrong. Shirvell claimed that Armstrong, who is openly gay, was imposing his notorious “homosexual agenda” on the Wolverine faithful, and had to be stopped. After being banned from the University of Michigan campus and allegedly lying to his boss, Attorney General Mike Cox, Shirvell was finally relieved of his duties.

Last week, another news item caught my interest. Jeffrey Cox, a deputy attorney general in Indiana (no relation to the AG from Michigan), tweeted the liberal magazine Mother Jones that live ammunition should be used against the protestors at the Wisconsin Capitol. A few hours later, he was fired.

Such quick and harsh punishment struck me as going a bit overboard, and it seems that Jeff Cox might have a cause of action on his hands…

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Does Sarah Palin's home state need a law school? One legislator says: You betcha!

* An impressive collection of legal humor — amusing motions, orders, opinions, and the like. [Law Law Land]

* (Celebrity) Lawyer of the Day: Michael “Mickey” Sherman, a prominent criminal defense lawyer and the husband of a Fox News legal analyst, is going to prison Physician, heal thyself. [TaxProf Blog]

* Elie isn’t feeling well right now — no, it wasn’t all that Kwanzaa cake — but if he were writing today, I suspect he’d have a lot to say about whether Alaska needs its own law school. [Tundra Drums via ABA Journal]

* What does the Ohio Supreme Court have against satellite television? [Consumerist]

* Support staff members at DLA Piper in the U.K. are getting a pretty slim pay raise. [Roll On Friday]

* If you haven’t done so already, check out Mike Sacks’s interesting and elegant analysis of the four youngest Supreme Court justices (which got a well-deserved shout-out from Adam Liptak in the New York Times today). [FIRST ONE @ ONE FIRST]

* Eric Fatla, a law student at GW, passed away from injuries he sustained in a fall at the Union League Club in Chicago. Professor Jonathan Turley remembers his former student. Eric Fatla, R.I.P. [Jonathan Turley; Chicago Breaking News]

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