Judges

Ready for some adjudicatin’.

Remember that Snickers ad where Joe Pesci is an angry jerk because he hasn’t had a Snickers? Or more accurately, some normal guy is transformed into angry-jerk Joe Pesci because he hasn’t had a Snickers. It taught a couple of valuable lessons:

1) The cure to intemperance is nougat.
2) Don Rickles is still alive.

It seems that our judges could stand to learn the first point because research indicates that judges are the absolute worst when they’re hungry….

double red triangle arrows Continue reading “That Jerk Of A Judge Just Needs A Snack Break”

* Fatwa against Fat. Wha? Saudi cleric issues Fatwa against all you can eat buffets. Old Country Buffet reeling from the blow to expansion plans. [International Business Times]

* Legislature close to disbanding speed trap town. [Lowering the Bar]

* Federal district judge who thought he was one of the Hardy Boys gets a benchslap from Judge Rakoff. [Josh Blackman's Blog]

* The dean of the DePaul College of Law, Gregory Mark, is stepping down at the end of the academic year. Administration issues are never fun, but this is better than another story about Augustus Sol Invictus. [Chicago Sun-Times]

* Respect is a two-way street. That’s why you don’t disrespectfully interrupt judges and judges shouldn’t berate lawyers for doing nothing wrong. [Katz Justice]

* The most overrated and underrated law schools. Go Ducks! [TaxProf Blog]

Another day, another naked judge. Apparently when you reach the height of your legal career, you completely lose your inhibitions. Today, we’ve got news on a judge who was fired from her position on a high court for her inappropriate behavior.

No, she wasn’t seen in pornographic pictures online, like Madam Justice A. Lori Douglas. It was much more innocent than that — she was exercising and sunbathing naked in her chambers, which happened to be flanked by windows.

As they say online, this thread is worthless without pics. Well, we’ve got one (and it’s safe for work)…

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Have you ever wondered how that moronic judge managed to scale the judiciary to plop on the bench? Or perhaps you’re eyeing a judicial career yourself and just want to know how to get started down that long path. Or perhaps you just want to see a non-legal website try — and fail — to provide a helpful career guide for prospective jurists.

If you’re looking to be the next Ruth Bader Ginsburg, this is not the guide for you…

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Judges are a fun lot. When they aren’t busy trawling for strippers or sharing racist remarks on the record, judges can have perfectly entertaining meltdowns over explicitly judicial matters.

Like this judge. She wasn’t too keen on the defendant, and let the jury hear about it when they voted to acquit…

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Judge Vince Sicari

A municipal judge in South Hackensack, New Jersey receives a mere $13,000/year in compensation. While the privilege of getting that little extra effort when making restaurant reservations under the title “Judge,” is nice, it’s not bring-my-income-up-to-the-poverty-line nice. Serving as a municipal judge is a public service, and the men and women who make this sacrifice are expected to find extra-judicial work to pay the bills.

Most are practicing lawyers. One is a stand-up comedian performing at Caroline’s and warming-up the crowd at the Colbert Report.

And somehow the ethics gatekeepers in New Jersey seem to think, of those two options, that the stand-up comedian is the one undermining the dignity of the bench.

I’ll be here all week, folks.

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The rejection letter is a lost art. Heck, in this day and age, most “rejection letters” are simply the cold silence of an empty inbox. That’s how I roll. It’s so much easier to just not respond to a request than to go through the whole, “Thank you for your interest in replacing Elie at Above the Law. Unfortunately, I’m not dead yet.”

Nowadays, you have to feel lucky to even receive a perfunctory rejection letter. Whether it’s “the position has been filled” or “we’ll keep your résumé on file” or “you should have included a picture of your breasts,” few people bother to let applicants know even fake reasons for why they didn’t get hired.

Apparently, the only people who still take the time to send meaningful rejection letters are federal judges. Over the past few weeks, tipsters have sent in a few from judges that at least try to give rejected applicants some sense of what happened.

Maybe we shouldn’t be surprised about our judiciary’s attention to such details. After all, we’re talking about people who will write long-ass arguments about issues even when their analysis has been “rejected”….

double red triangle arrows Continue reading “Rejection Letter Potpourri: It’s Not You, It’s Me, And How Many Awesome People Want To Work For Me”

Based on the number of submissions we’ve received — please don’t be offended if yours doesn’t make the cut — it seems you’re enjoying our Law License Plates series. Our last post on law-related vanity license plates was about one month ago, but we’re always looking for more photos. You can send them via email (subject line: “Vanity License Plate”).

Today, we’ll be writing about lawyers who spend so much time in a courtroom that they’ve decided to brand their vehicles with the evidence. Both of these submissions came to us from California, where a career in trial practice (both before and behind the bench) seems to be as hot as the soaring temperatures.

Let’s take a look at what these legal eagles are advertising on their license plates, shall we?

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When we last checked in with the justices of the Wisconsin Supreme Court, one justice stood accused of allegedly choking a bitch in chambers (no, not the “total bitch” that he had previously threatened to “destroy” — another one). Although the kerfuffle did not result in any criminal charges, it seems that Justice David Prosser isn’t as charismatic as Wayne Brady, because now he’s facing possible ethics sanctions over the two incidents.

What did the outspoken justice have to say about the request for sanctions?

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* What did you think of the way Obama was pimping out his reelection jobs bill last night? People were probably more excited about the football game that followed. [Los Angeles Times]

* Congratulations to Stephanie D. Thacker of West Virginia. She was nominated to fill a seat on the Fourth Circuit. If she doesn’t have a family circle, things will go well in her confirmation hearing. [State Journal]

* Money might not grow on trees, but it certainly grows on financial reform legislation. Thanks to the Dodd-Frank Act, the pockets of Biglawyers will continue to be lined with cash for years to come. [New York Times]

* Skinnygirl is supposed to be “the margarita you can trust,” but now the company is facing two class actions. I’ve never tried it (duh), but it’s never good to put your trust in alcohol. [Thomson Reuters News & Insight]

* If you really want a job, you can start packing for South Dakota. A bit deserted for me. In fact, I think you might need some oxen and a covered wagon to practice out there. [WSJ Law Blog]

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