* Autozone settles $185 million suit over firing a pregnant worker. [Jezebel]
* Once Donald Trump shuts up about illegal immigrants, maybe the adults in the room can start talking about the horrific conditions facing legal migrants, specifically those with H-2 visas. [BuzzFeed News]
* It sounds like this guy deserved more than a 30-month license suspension. [Legal Profession Blog]
* Things you can’t tell your employees: that they look “quite f**kable.” [Legal Cheek]
* A new report focuses on disabilities in the legal profession. [BWB Solutions]
* If you write off “trigger warnings” as an assault on academic freedom, you might be missing the point. [TaxProf Blog]
* Kaye Scholer’s Michael Solow discusses his experiences with the real-life Professor Kingsfield. [Big Law Business / Bloomberg BNA]
* 50 Cent has declared bankruptcy. Forthwith, he shall be known as “The Secured Creditors’ Half-Dollar.” [Business Insider]
* Nina Totenberg talked with Justice Ginsburg and learned the reason the so-called liberal wing of the Court wrote so few separate opinions: they have agreed to speak with one voice as much as possible. As Justice Ginsburg put it, “If you want to make sure you’re read, you do it together, and you do it short.” [NPR]
* Are you licensed in Texas? Frequent contributor Dan Hull of Hull McGuire is looking for local counsel. [What About Clients?]
* Academics are planning to hold onto their jobs past retirement age because you can take their jobs from their cold, dead, tenured hands. [TaxProf Blog]
* How are you using LinkedIn? Because if you use it only as a connections catalog, you’re missing out on an opportunity to publicize your practice. [Law and More]
* The opposite of saved by the bell: man free on bond sent to jail cell when fire alarm disrupts hearing. Then the judge leaves the building, stranding the guy in a cell. [Times-Picayune]
* Richard Hsu chats with author Brad Meltzer about his new book and weathering the rejection he experienced over his first novel. And stay tuned, because there’s more Richard Hsu coming up later. [Hsu Untied]
* Kaye Scholer’s Managing Partner Michael Solow talks about the firm’s new digs at 250 West 55th Street. [Big Law Business / Bloomberg BNA]
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* Fun fact: Seattle Seahawks QB Russell Wilson’s uncle is the managing principal of of Beverage & Diamond’s D.C. office. Thanks to a gentlemen’s bet, because Wilson’s team lost the Super Bowl, his uncle will have to wear a Gronk or Tom Brady jersey. Ouch. [Legal Times]
* One of the homeless dogs who played in Animal Planet’s 11th annual Puppy Bowl was adopted by Bob Bernstein, a former partner at Kaye Scholer. The adorable Great Pyrenees-mix now leads a life of privilege, as any Biglaw pet should. [New York Post]
* We know all about the former law school dean who was recently arrested on some pretty salacious charges. We’ll have more on this later today. [Dallas Morning News]
* The interim dean of religiously affiliated Liberty Law thinks challenges to the school’s heteronormative honor code are a “concern for the future” — especially since a Canadian Christian law school is under fire for a similar code. [Deseret News]
* It’s not just law schools in the United States that are feeling the pinch of a fewer applicants amid a pathetic legal job market. Japan’s legal education system is also struggling, and some law schools may merge in order to survive. [Japan Times]
* Prosecutors say formal charges won’t be filed in George Zimmerman’s latest aggravated assault case because his current girlfriend recanted her claims, just like his ex did. His lawyer was wrong — his client does have luck with the ladies. [CNN]
Bonus reports from several different law firms — mostly good news.
* Everyone knows Bingham McCutchen is considering a merger with Morgan Lewis, but not many know bankruptcy may be an option. It’s a remote option, but still an option. [Boston Globe]
* When Kaye Scholer moved offices, it left behind most of its library. “It tells you everything you need to know about law firm libraries”: they’re not necessary. [New York Times]
* Everyone loves the Sixth Amendment: Thanks to money from Koch Industries, the National Association of Criminal Defense Lawyers will offer better indigent defense training. [WSJ Law Blog]
* The judge in Adrian Peterson’s case won’t be replaced, despite the fact that he called the lawyers involved in the case “media whores.” Meh, Peterson’s attorney says he’s been called worse. [Bloomberg]
* Gilberto Valle, better known as the “Cannibal Cop,” really wants to go to law school. He’s apparently scored quite well on LSAT practice tests. Do law school ladies look delicious or what? [New York Post]
* Lawyers from top New York City firms like Skadden, Proskauer, Stikeman, Weil Gotshal, Kaye Scholer, and Bailey Duquette took to the ice to compete for the Lawyers’ Cup. The team with Canadian imports won, obviously. [Forbes]
* Andre Bouchard was nominated to replace Judge Leo Strine as Chancellor of the Delaware Court of Chancery. We can only hope he’ll be as outspoken as his predecessor. [WSJ Law Blog (sub. req.)]
* UNC Law has been receiving fewer applications, and perhaps that’s the reason why its acceptance rates have gone up, up, up — from 36 percent to 45 percent — in the last year alone. Yikes. [Daily Tar Heel]
* A woman alleges her Uber driver “fondled [her] legs, groin area and breasts” as she tried to give him directions. That extra customer service is what makes it cost more during peak times. [Chicago Tribune]
* A watch repairman was so pissed about this Yelp review he sicced his lawyer on the man who handed out the two-star report. Of course his lawyer’s one-paragraph demand letter barely makes sense. [Gawker]
Casetext is offering select students the opportunity to gain real entrepreneurial experience while in school as part of its law student ambassador program.
If you’re employed at a firm like this one and you worked your ass off in 2013, you must be jumping for joy right now. How high did the bonuses climb?
* President Obama’s top lawyer Kathryn Ruemmler is staying on the job longer than planned. That cushy Biglaw partnership can wait a while longer. [Reuters]
* The ABA Journal talks to Joel Hamner about the continuing stain of the online advertisement mentioning his firm that he says he never ordered, paid for, or authorized. [ABA Journal]
* Ohio judge’s wife charged with poisoning him with antifreeze. When will she learn to make a decent Thanksgiving dinner? [ABC News]
* Robe Rules Rag Not Racist! [New York Observer]
* Woman shoots her husband outside a law firm in Tennessee. She already faced charges in Mississippi for a different shooting. You’d think someone might have taken her gun away before this, but she must be critical to that “well regulated militia.” [WKRN]
* Kaye Scholer lost the co-managing partner of its California offices. They’ve been hemorrhaging partners out there — trouble in paradise. [ABA Journal]
* D.C. Judge Natalia Combs Greene gets ripped for “inappropriate comments.” She should have some choice words in response. [The Blog of the Legal Times]
This firm wants big bucks to tell you that they agree with your more expensive lawyers. Efficiency!
A look at the results of our OCI survey, including the firms rated most highly by student interviewees.
* It looks like it’s time for yet another rousing game of Biglaw musical chairs. This time, 11 of Bingham McCutchen’s securities enforcement partners are hightailing it over to Sidley Austin en masse. [DealBook / New York Times]
* This week in on-shore outsourcing: there may be a job waiting for you at Kaye Scholer’s new operations center (so new we bet you didn’t know about it), so hurry up and apply, because the interviews are soon. [Tallahassee Democrat]
* “We’re trained in the law and persuasion, not firearms.” But maybe you should be? After the targeted killing of attorneys in Texas, prosecutors are now on high alert. [New York Times]
* When looking at the current law school model, Paul Caron of TaxProf Blog urges law deans to take advice from Jimmy McMillan because “law school tuition is simply too damn high.” [Businessweek]
* Change our admissions practices amid the worst legal economy we’ve seen in decades? “Ain’t nobody got time for that,” scoffed Sarah Zearfoss, director of admissions at Michigan Law. [AnnArbor.com]
* Drexel Law will accept applications for its two-year law degree program in May 2014. The higher-ups at the ABA are scheduled to laugh their asses off on or about the same date. [Philadelphia Inquirer]
* “[F]or James Eagan Holmes, justice is death.” In a move that shocked absolutely no one, the prosecution in the Aurora, Colorado movie theater massacre case is seeking the death penalty. [CNN]
In the world of Biglaw, the subject of bonuses is a hot-button issue. People will disagree, often vehemently, on whether the bonuses paid by a particular firm are generous or cheap. Some of our recent bonus posts have generated salient updates and dissenting opinions. After the jump, we bring you postscripts regarding bonuses at several major law firms, including Cravath, Kaye Scholer, Quinn Emanuel, Sidley Austin, and Weil Gotshal….