Ken Cuccinelli

Morning Docket: 01.11.12

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* “It seems no one can use dirty words, except Steven Spielberg.” Well, sh*t, I’ll be damned. Is Elena Kagan going to be the voice of reason in the Supreme Court’s FCC profanity case? [Los Angeles Times]

* Ken Cuccinelli filed an emergency motion to get Virginia’s primary ballots printed. You can’t wait three days for Perry’s hearing? It’s on Friday the 13th. You know how that’s going to go. [Bloomberg]

* The Tenth Circuit upheld a ruling to block an Oklahoma law barring the consideration of Sharia law in court decisions. If this pisses you off, go and watch Homeland. You’ll feel better. [MSNBC]

* Dewey want to join the Magic Circle? Bloody hell, of course! Clifford Chance has snagged two mergers and acquisitions partners from Dewey & LeBoeuf. [DealBook / New York Times]

* What will an LL.M. get you in today’s job market? Not a whole lot. And if you’re counting that extra year of loan debt as something of value, then you’re just a masochist. [National Law Journal]

* Heather Peters, the former lawyer suing Honda in small claims court, may be SOL because of a SOL issue. Stay tuned for the results at her second hearing later this month. [Huffington Post]

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Morning Docket: 01.04.12

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Rick Perry: 'It's this big.'

* Ken Cuccinelli, Virginia’s Attorney General, wants Rick Perry’s election law suit to be dismissed, because really, what’s the point? Standing or not, Perry got completely hosed in Iowa. [Bloomberg]

* What’s next for Stephen Glass? When all else fails, hire a high-profile appellate team to do your dirty work for you. He could write a book about this and he wouldn’t even have to lie. [Am Law Daily]

* 1Ls who hope for good grades have better chances of getting them. Everyone else is screwed unless they buy that Secret book housewives raved about on Oprah. [National Law Journal]

* An Illinois police officer tracked a woman down after giving her a speeding ticket, wrote her a love note, and now she’s suing him. Harsh. Why not throw him a rejection hotline number? [Daily Mail]

* You thought Touro was the worst law school in New York by a landslide, but our second-place finisher is earning its medal. CUNY Law’s bar passage rates plummeted in 2011. [New York Post]

* Johnny Weir, the most fabulous figure skater in all the land, has married a Georgetown Law grad. His Twitter profile says he’s taking the New Jersey bar exam soon. Good luck! [Washington Post]

* Robert L. Carter, S.D.N.Y. Senior Judge and desegregation strategist, RIP. [New York Times]

Non-Sequiturs: 09.08.11

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* Looks like you really screwed the Cooch. Virginia and its Obamacare challenge got slapped around today by the Fourth Circuit. [Blog of Legal Times]

* Just how rich are the members of SCOTUS? When you’re worth $45M, like RBG, you can afford to fall asleep during the State of the Union address. But you can’t afford such luxuries when you’re still Sonia from the block. [Forbes]

* An interesting read on the Kenneth Moreno case from the perspective of a juror. Buy it on your Kindle and check it on the way home today. [Gothamist]

* What is law school’s dirty little secret? If you have social skills, you don’t need to be in the top ten percent to get a job. Fair warning, because your mileage may vary with this bit of advice. [Law Riot]

* If Texas A&M is actually allowed to join the SEC, fans are going to have to learn how to start talking smack about the Big 12 and buy a pair of jorts stat. [ESPN]

* What a Masshole: sorry, lady, but if seeing your criminal history in print is too upsetting, maybe a career change is in order? No judge is just going to stop the presses for you. [Salem News]

* “Abandon hope, all ye who enter here! Thou art cash cows being led to the $laughter!” Well, if you’re going to riff on my school, at least get your facts straight. We cry in our cars. [LOLawyer]

* No, you cannot change your name to NJWeedman.com. We get it, you smoke two joints before you smoke two joints. But if you lose the domain, your stoner friends would be confused. [Gawker]

Judging Is Just Politics By Other Means

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I like crusading AGs with names like "Spitzer" more than "Cuccinelli," but that's just me.

Obamacare scored a huge victory today. Not because of an election or an impassioned debate. Not because of a fresh argument or a political compromise. Not even because of a considered legal opinion. No, Obamacare scored a major victory just because the Fourth Circuit panel randomly chosen to hear the challenge to Obamacare, an appeal spearheaded by crusading Virginia attorney general Ken Cuccinelli, will be made up of three judges appointed by Democratic presidents.

And because we live in a country where our judiciary is about as apolitical as a parliamentary house, it’s reasonable to think that at least two of the three judges (two of whom were appointed by Obama himself) will deliver an Obamacare victory.

Does anybody have a problem with that?

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Morning Docket: 05.05.11

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Kid who didn't do as well as his parents.

* DOMA dude Paul Clement filed his first brief as lead counsel for 26 states seeking to nullify Obamacare. In a land of socialist, freeloading, hippie queers, one man stands alone. [Atlanta Journal Constitution]

* Actually, that’s not true — The Cooch has Clement’s back (twhs), Tweeting all the misspelled and hilarious punchlines that are fit to print. [The Virginian-Pilot]

* Eric Holder defended the legality of the Osama killing on Capitol Hill yesterday. In prepared remarks, he said, “If history has taught us anything, it’s that you can kill anyone.” [CNN]

* I don’t want to intrude on Lat’s beat here, but Ponzi schemer Scott Rothstein’s pad sounds pretty nice. Bet it even has a foyer, whatever the hell that is. [WSJ Law Blog]

* Irving Picard has asked a judge to allow him to start making disbursements to Madoff’s victims. Victims stand to receive a coupon book valued at over 200 dollars, a free subscription to Cat Fancy, and a lifetime’s supply of Spanx for Men. [Reuters]

* Chris Simms, guilty of poor quarterbackery, was found not guilty of smoking drugs and driving. [New York Post]

Quotes of the Day: When Ken Cuccinelli and the New York Times agree you screwed up, you screwed up.

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King & Spalding’s willingness to drop a client, the U.S. House of Representatives, in connection with the lawsuit challenging the Defense of Marriage Act (DOMA) was such an obsequious act of weakness that I feel compelled to end your legal association with Virginia so that there is no chance that one of my legal clients will be put in the embarrassing and difficult situation like the client you walked away from, the House of Representatives.

– Virginia Attorney General Ken Cuccinelli, in a letter firing the law firm of King & Spalding.

A second quote of the day, from the New York Times, after the jump.

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Non-Sequiturs: 12.14.10

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I bet kosher weed would be better than regular weed.

* Judge Henry Hudson, the judge who struck down healthcare, has ties to a Republican consulting firm that did some work for Virginia AG Ken Cuccinelli. Of course he does. You don’t think this issue has an objective right or wrong legal answer, do you? [WSJ Law Blog]

* A Cardozo student thinks pot can be a useful study aid. [The Cardozo Jurist]

* Of course, it looks like Cardozo students already have ample access to weed. This pro-job video was but together by a ’10 Cardozo graduate. [Comedy Central]

* British judge calls verdict against her dog a “f***ing travesty.” [Guardian]

* Doesn’t looking at the Constitution on an iPad violate an originalist view of the document? [Young Lawyers Blog]

* People didn’t like lawyers even back in 1906. [Ross Fishman's Marketing Blog]

* German doctors claim they’ve used stem cells to cure H.I.V. This isn’t exactly a legal issue, but I really hope Congress won’t let religion stand in the way of the science I’ll need for new lungs and a new liver circa 2040. [Popular Science]

* Don’t forget to RSVP for our holiday party — tomorrow night at 6:00 at Bar 29. Our sponsors, Practical Law Company and ELR Search, promise us it will be off the hook. And I’ve promised to stay sober for at least one full hour before I start berating the people around me. [Above the Law]

* Speaking of our sponsors, check out our promo for the Livescribe Echo Smartpen if you are doing some Christmas shopping for a lawyer in your life. Also, I AM NOT KENAN THOMPSON. What’s up with that? Yes, we are both fat black guys, but I’m actually funny, not some random dude who can only do impressions of black people who haven’t been relevant in 20 years.

Breaking: Health Care Law Ruled Unconstitutional (In Part)

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Barack Obama: The doctor is... out?

Virginia 1, Obamacare 0. Ian Gershengorn must be pacing up a storm.

Judge Henry E. Hudson (E.D. Va.) just struck down a key provision of President Barack Obama’s signature health care reform law — namely, the requirement that most Americans obtain health insurance. Judge Hudson held that the insurance mandate exceeds Congress’s authority under the Commerce Clause. Links to coverage are collected below; Judge Hudson’s 42-page opinion is available here (PDF, via Dahlia Lithwick).

Congratulations to Virginia and to its crusading attorney general, Ken Cuccinelli (whom I had the pleasure of meeting at Federalist Society festivities a few weeks ago).

Of course, we’re still near the beginning of a long road of litigation — which will likely end at One First Street, two (or more) years from now.

Health Care Law Ruled Unconstitutional [New York Times]
Judge Strikes Down Part of Health Care Law [ABA Journal]
Virginia Federal Judge Shoots Down Part of Health Care Law [WSJ Law Blog]

Virginia State Judge Screws the Cooch

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Ed. note: This post is by “Juggalo Law,” one of the two writers under consideration to join Morning Dockette as a Morning Docket writer. As always, we welcome your thoughts in the comments.

I have a confession to make. I don’t care at all about the environment. It’s true. Since I was in short pants, I’ve been aggressively indifferent to climate change, rainforests, oil spills and the plight of the Duck-Billed Platypus (“has feet like a duck…but it’s furry!”). This despite my parents’ solid liberal bona fides. This despite my presence at one Young Democrats meeting in 1998 (Earnest Goes to College).

And yet, guys? The Cooch is tripping. That’d be Ken Cuccinelli, the Attorney General of Virginia. Yesterday, a state judge blocked his request to subpoena documents from a college professor studying climate change. Take it away, BLT:

Cuccinelli, a Republican, said he wanted the records in order to investigate whether the researcher, Michael Mann, made false claims in connection with state grant funding. Cuccinelli is a skeptic of human causes of global warming, an area that Mann has studied at the University of Virginia and elsewhere. Mann is now a professor at Pennsylvania State University.

This caps a rather newsworthy couple of weeks for The Cooch. He’s managed to raise the hackles of many an interest group in protecting the rights of Baby Jesus and all unborn critters not named Jesus. In doing so, he’s undoubtedly established himself as a rising star in conservative circles.

But what of his latest…err crusade?

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Virginia Lawsuit Against Health Care Reform Allowed to Continue

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Virginia Attorney General Ken Cuccinelli can take his legal attack on the health reform legislation one step further. Today Judge Henry Hudson (E.D. Va.) denied a Health and Human Services motion to dismiss — which means we’re headed for discovery. The WSJ Law Blog reports:

The ruling represents a setback that will force the Obama administration to mount a lengthy legal defense of the law. The suit, filed by Virginia Attorney General Ken Cuccinelli, alleges that the law’s requirement that its residents have health insurance violates the Commerce Clause of the Constitution…

In his opinion, Judge Hudson ruled: “The guiding precedent [on the Commerce Clause] is informative but inconclusive.”

At times like these, it’s important to remember that the Democrats have 255 votes in the House and 59 votes in the Senate, but only four votes on the Supreme Court…

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