Kids

Going to happy hour after work does not have even remotely the same impact, on a personal or a societal level, as Mommy Dear going home to take care of her child. Why keep fighting her on this issue?

Mommy Dear, Esq. can write column after column talking about ways to help working mothers, but if the boss doesn’t want to help, there’s not much she can do.

* The law prof who sent anal-bead porn to her students is making headlines beyond the legal media. [Inside Higher Ed; Total Frat Move]

* You’ve been served — via Facebook. How do you “Like” them apples? [New York Daily News]

* Making a federal — or at least state — case out of teaching yoga to schoolchildren. [ATL Redline]

* Bad idea: taking someone’s identity and accepting money on their behalf. (Or: the dangers of launching a startup without legal advice.) [Associate’s Mind]

* Also a bad idea (if the allegations are true, that is): a men-only golf retreat at a large law firm. [ABA Journal]

* “Sperm Donor Scandal Lawsuit: How One Man with Schizophrenia Allegedly Fathered 36 Children.” [People]

* Getting revenge on a revenge-porn magnate: an 18-year sentence for Kevin Christopher Bollaert. [Los Angeles Times]

* How can healthcare startups protect their intellectual property? [MedCity News]

* Debt-saddled law students love free stuff — so how about free membership in the ABA? [American Bar Association]

* In addition to our April 23 reception, I’ll also be doing an event on April 25 for Supreme Ambitions (affiliate link), to which you are all most cordially invited. [Seminary Co-Op Bookstore; Facebook]

Flex-time for the dads? Mommy Dear is all for it. And firms should be, too, because it just might mean that a Biglaw mommy can bill more hours if someone lets dad come home once in a while.

Maybe we should all embrace a bit more flexibility, and cut the working moms a little slack.

Lawyer moms are the real deal -- and they're scary.

Biglaw, why not just let us lock our doors and keep working? We can bill and breastfeed at the same time, if only you’ll let us.

Real fire drills will always be there, and Mommy Dear always standing ready to put out those real fires. But she's getting burned out real quick chasing after smoke, and she have a baby to take care of, too.

Mommy Dear, Esq. is currently trying to “have it all,” “lean in,” and sometimes even cook dinner. She is very, very tired.

The life of a lawyer coloring book captures the ennui of a profession.

* From the “Why the hell didn’t you settle this?” file: Now that Alexandra Marchuk’s case against Faruqi & Faruqi and Juan Monteverde has gone to trial, it seems the firm is getting all sorts of publicity — mostly negative. [New York Post]

* Supreme Court justices are really just like us… they show up late to work, too. Because Justice Antonin Scalia was stuck in traffic this morning, Chief Justice John Roberts had to summarize two of Scalia’s opinions from the bench. Oops! [NPR]

* Speaking of Justice Scalia, the Supreme jurist managed to sneak in a citation to Jane Austen’s Pride and Prejudice in his opinion in Whitfield v. United States to show the common usage of the word “accompany.” [Volokh Conspiracy / Washington Post]

* Remember Dennis Doyle, the lawyer who lost his job and dropped $25K to see every single Knicks game this season? He said this of his tragic endeavor: “I can’t shut it down. I’m in too deep. … I’ll see it through—if it doesn’t kill me first.” [Bleacher Report]

* An Idaho prosecutor is having regrets over the fact that he chose to issue an arrest warrant for a 9-year-old boy on gum-stealing charges, calling it “a mistake under the circumstances.” That kid must be the coolest on the playground. [ABA Journal]

* “Trying to suppress [the value of parody] with violence is a fool’s errand.” In the wake of the horror of the Charlie Hebdo shootings, it’s worth recognizing that here in the U.S., we owe much to rappers who have capitalized on free speech. [LinkedIn]

What more could she have done?

Which justice did he clerk for? Why did he become a stay-at-home dad in the first place?

* Here’s some JOLTing news: Megon Walker, the Harvard Law graduate who claims her life was ruined because the school accused her of being a plagiarist, just lost her defamation suit against her alma mater. [National Law Journal]

* “You have a party like this and it’s as though you’re handing out hand grenades as party favors.” Jeff Lake, a California lawyer, was arrested and faces social host liability issues thanks to his kid’s Playboy party. [Denver Channel]

* Congress is back in session, and President Obama resubmitted his nomination of Loretta Lynch for U.S. attorney general, along with other judicial nods. She’ll be a “terrific attorney general,” so get this show on the road. [Legal Times]

* “How many clinics do you have to close before the court says, ‘Enough’?” Lawyers for abortion clinics and Texas state attorneys faced off before the Fifth Circuit over the viability constitutionality of the Lone Star State’s abortion laws. [New York Times]

* It’s a new year with new laws in effect, and it looks like 27 states, plus D.C., have made major moves with regard to weed, be it through the legalization medical marijuana or decriminalization of its possession. Do you know your rights? [CNN]

How would you explain the business of law to a bunch of fourth graders?

* Indiana Tech Law has yet another new dean after a little more than a year of operations — he currently serves as a dean at the second-best law school in the nation, Cooley Law. [Journal Gazette]

* A Pennsylvania lawyer allegedly had sex with a 14-year-old girl in his office, and prosecutors have already reserved a “special place in hell” for him, and possibly a jail cell. [Philadelphia Inquirer]

* “We feel like we’ve been left hanging in a really stressful time.” While Bingham McCutchen partners and top staffers made moves, less senior staffers were left crying and without a clue. 🙁 [Am Law Daily]

* Since a grand jury failed to indict Darren Wilson in Michael Brown’s death, people are counting on the DOJ to come through for them. “I just don’t think Ferguson has a leg to stand on,” says one negative nancy law professor. [National Law Journal]

* After being down in the dumps for a while due to the recession, according to Citi Private Bank Law Firm Group, law firm leaders are feeling more confident and optimistic about the economy — as one can see from these bonuses. [WSJ Law Blog]

* “Have a taste of this. It will do you good in so many ways.” Louisa Moritz, one of Bill Cosby’s alleged victims, is interested in filing a class-action lawsuit against the comedian. [Fox News Latino]

* If you’re interested, here’s all of the testimony and evidence that was presented to the grand jury that resulted in no true bill for Darren Wilson in the Michael Brown shooting. [Associated Press]

* HBO hired a team of 160 lawyers to look at its film adaptation of Lawrence Wright’s book about Scientology. The power of thetans compels them to keep churning that bill, baby. [Hollywood Reporter]

* “The Constitution is not a math problem,” but it seems like the Supreme Court is playing a numbers game when it comes to its decisions having to do with same-sex marriage. What’s the magic number for SCOTUS to take a case? [New York Times]

* It’s official: Morgan Lewis has gobbled up most of Bingham McCutchen ahead of the Thanksgiving holiday. Stick a fork in it, because Morgan Lewis is done — it’s now stuffed full of more lawyers than any other firm in the country. [Philadelphia Inquirer]

* Emerson Briggs III, an ex-partner at Hunton & Williams, is facing disbarment in D.C. over the child pornography he downloaded at work. Oh, how the mighty have fallen: he’s been working as a paralegal since being disbarred in New York. [Legal Times]

* Patricia Nesci, a law firm secretary, allegedly forged a judge’s signature on an order to show cause to keep herself from being evicted from her home earlier this month. She apparently did not get a Biglaw-style bonus from her former firm. [Syracuse.com]

* Before you submit your applications, you should try creating a budget to see just how financially screwed you’ll be during and after law school, and then compare it to your pre-law school budget. Try not to cry. [Law Admissions Lowdown / U.S. News]

Which state bar is forcing nursing mothers into an uncomfortable situation?

A counterpoint to President Obama’s statement that women leaving the workplace to become stay-at-home mothers was “not a choice we want Americans to make.”

* Everyone knows Bingham McCutchen is considering a merger with Morgan Lewis, but not many know bankruptcy may be an option. It’s a remote option, but still an option. [Boston Globe]

* When Kaye Scholer moved offices, it left behind most of its library. “It tells you everything you need to know about law firm libraries”: they’re not necessary. [New York Times]

* Everyone loves the Sixth Amendment: Thanks to money from Koch Industries, the National Association of Criminal Defense Lawyers will offer better indigent defense training. [WSJ Law Blog]

* The judge in Adrian Peterson’s case won’t be replaced, despite the fact that he called the lawyers involved in the case “media whores.” Meh, Peterson’s attorney says he’s been called worse. [Bloomberg]

* Gilberto Valle, better known as the “Cannibal Cop,” really wants to go to law school. He’s apparently scored quite well on LSAT practice tests. Do law school ladies look delicious or what? [New York Post]