Law Professors

It’s Friday, I’m in a good mood, my birthday is tomorrow, I don’t want to slam this law professor. Sure, sending out a school-wide email telling students to avoid “the college habit of celebrating your successes or failures by drinking” is ripe for mockery. But, I don’t know, it’s cute. He’s kind of trying to help. For some reason I’m imagining a professor who sounds like Elmo saying, “Elmo doesn’t like drinking to the point where he pees in his pants after assaulting a police officer. Hee-hee!”

I mean, the guy sent along the helpful “blood alcohol by weight” chart. Like, there are going to be law students who say, “You know, I didn’t realize that having three scotches in a hour might get me f**ked up….”

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A Supreme cat fight?

* Footnote fight! Justice Sonia Sotomayor has been clashing with quite a few of her fellow Supreme Court jurists lately, aside from Chief Justice John Roberts. She recently inspired the wrath of Justice RBG herself. [New York Times]

* After months of being poked and prodded for cash, 60 former Howrey equity partners have reached clawback deals with bankruptcy trustee Allan Diamond, and it looks like a few of them agreed to pay pretty hefty sums. [Am Law Daily]

* Here’s a headline we could’ve told you was coming: “The US lawyer bubble has conclusively popped.” It’s not a terribly good decision to attend now, but if you do, people who can’t pay you need your help. [Quartz]

* Cutting law school tuition may be a good idea to attract more students, but in the long run, it could hurt the schools, says Moody’s. Aww, let us shed some tears for those poor law schools. [WSJ Law Blog]

* Crim Law prof not guilty of… crime. Stephen Smith of Notre Dame Law was acquitted on a misdemeanor invasion of privacy charge, and the felony battery charge he faced was dismissed. [South Bend Tribune]

* The University of Arizona will be the first school in the U.S. to offer a bachelor’s degree in law. The degree is being marketed to people who eventually want to have lots of law-related debt. [National Law Journal]

Be careful who you nominate for “Teacher of the Year.”

A law professor was named “Experiential Professor of the Year” at her law school, but she didn’t appreciate the qualifier. Evidently, some people are offended by backhanded compliments like “tallest midget” or “valedictorian of Cooley.”

I’m kidding, but this law professor is certainly not. In a letter to faculty, she calls out the “express ghetto-ization and limitation through labeling” inherent when you distinguish between “clinical” faculty and “regular” faculty….

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U.S. Attorney Preet Bharara

* U.S. Attorney Preet Bharara wants to know more about why Governor Andrew Cuomo shut down an anticorruption commission. [New York Times]

* The ABA weighs in on the “unfinished business” controversy affecting bankrupt law firms, their lawyers, and their clients. [WSJ Law Blog]

* Better late than never: students and professors at UC Davis Law are pushing for the posthumous admission to the California bar of Hong Yeng Chang, who was denied a law license in 1890 solely because of his Chinese heritage. [Associated Press; South China Morning Post]

* Speaking of late, a robber sent to prison 13 years late because of a clerical error just got released. [ABA Journal]

* Drones could claim another victim: the First Circuit nomination of Harvard law professor David Barron. [How Appealing]

* Who still wants a landline phone? The jury foreman in the latest Apple-Samsung battle, who is sick and tired of cellphones after the month-long trial. [The Recorder (sub. req.)]

* Not such a Great Adventure: “Cadwalader To Pay $17M In Six Flags Malpractice Fight.” [Law360 (sub. req.)]

When you go on national television you just hope the producers are there to help you look your best.

Especially if it’s a pre-taped segment. Meaning they set it up, chose the shot, taped it, edited it, and then chose to put it on TV — leaving a whole bunch of last clear chances to fix anything that undermines your credibility.

For this professor, the producers probably could have done him some favors.

Dropping the extreme close-up and telling him to blink would have been good starts.

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Graduation season is upon us, which means that bar exam craziness will soon follow in its wake. In fact, it seems like that incredibly uneasy time may already be here. Law professors are usually there to support their former students, but at one law school, that doesn’t seem to be the case.

One law professor is absolutely enraged about the number of his former students who continually fail the bar exam. He’s so angry, in fact, that he sent out a school-wide email to vent about the situation. His message probably could have been evaluated for its overly harsh tone before being sent out.

We received an email about it from someone who may or may not be another professor at the same law school, with the following subject line: “This is how professors at [X Law School] treat their bar takers.”

Which law school are we talking about, and what did the angry professor say?

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‘Uh, you want me to do *what,* Justice Scalia?’

I’m hoping that a law clerk is sitting in a back room wrapping a phone in aluminum foil.

– Professor Adam M. Gershowitz of William & Mary Law, noting that warrantless cellphone searches are unnecessary when they can be stored in Faraday bags or wrapped in aluminum foil to prevent the remote wiping of information. Gershowitz and other criminal law professors filed an amicus brief on behalf of the defendants in Riley v. California and United States v. Wurie, which are both being heard before the Supreme Court this week.

The students now are generous, collaborative. They share notes with each other. I regularly ask students what has surprised them about Harvard Law School and almost always the response is how nice everybody is. I think the degree to which the students care about the world is very impressive to me. They are not just concerned about themselves.

– Dean Martha Minow of Harvard Law School, in an interesting and inspirational interview with the Harvard Gazette. Additional highlights from the interview, plus commentary, after the jump.

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Hookerbot 5000 from Futurama

If you’re feeling the pinch of student debt, at least you can comfort yourself in knowing that your money contributed not only to the professional education of innumerable future contract attorneys, but to the overall advancement of legal scholarship. The academy requires those tuition dollars to keep law professors researching and writing for the betterment of all.

And then handing it over to a bunch of apple-polishing 3Ls to validate and publish.

So the next time you get your tuition or student loan bill, ask yourself if funding research on the nature of sexbots is worth it….

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I’m not sure you want someone with my hourly rate making coffee.

– A California lawyer’s sassy comeback to a colleague at her firm who asked her to brew a pot of coffee.

This is just one of the tidbits that Professor Joan Williams of UC Hastings Law shares in her new book, What Works for Women at Work (affiliate link). Williams notes that professional women are expected to perform office “housework” — like “bring cupcakes for a colleague’s birthday, order sandwiches for office lunches and answer phones in the conference room” — much more often than their male colleagues.

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