Law School Applications

* Even Jordan Weissmann of Slate, who is relatively pro-law school, accepts that there are some people who shouldn’t bother going. [Slate]

* Yet another prosecutor with a temper: sorry he whipped out a gun at the office, but “Assistant Prosecutor Chris White is really [really, really] afraid of spiders.” [Charleston Gazette-Mail]

* Moot Court: the movie! Unleash your inner gunner and check out this documentary next month. [DOC NYC]

* Roadkill: it’s what’s for dinner (and apparently there’s no law or regulation against this). [Grub Street / New York Magazine]

* Professor Michael Koehler on “The Uncomfortable Truths and Double Standards of Bribery Enforcement” (beyond the FCPA). [FCPA Professor]

* Nationwide Layoff Watch: sports bloggers. Grantland, RIP. [Bloomberg]

* ICYMI, here’s your chance to be a D.C. judge (Superior Court, not D.D.C. or D.C. Cir.). [D.C. Judicial Nomination Commission]

* Elsewhere in interesting employment opportunities, Practical Law / Thomson Reuters is looking for an experienced IP lawyer to join its Intellectual Property & Technology Service. [Glassdoor]

* We wish all our readers a happy (and safe) Halloween — and remind you to submit legally themed costumes in our annual competition. [Above the Law]

* The Cincinnati Bengals reached a $255K settlement with their cheerleaders in a wage-and-hour suit. Each Ben-Gal stands to receive at least $2,500. Hmm, maybe they needed better lawyers who could BE AGGRESSIVE! B-E AGGRESSIVE! B-E A-G-G-R-E-S-S-I-V-E! [CBS News]

* Biglaw leaders think that first-year associates are likely to be replaced by robots within 10 years. Some even think that second- and third-year associates could be replaced by artificial intelligence. Damn, no wonder NY to $190 is still a pipedream. [Ars Technica via Am Law Daily]

* “What you’re asking them to do is do work for you.” Despite the fact that the cellphone was seized in an investigation, this federal magistrate judge says that he isn’t quite sure if he has the legal authority to compel Apple to access data on a locked iPhone. [Reuters]

* Justice waits for no one, except this defendant who allegedly murdered her 19-month-old daughter in 2010. After her trial was rescheduled for the 18th time, a judge finally decided he’d had enough: “Anything following this will be a trial or dismissal.” [WSJ Law Blog]

* If you’re trying to get into to law school, there’s no need to wait for your fall semester grades before you send off your applications. A pulse and the ability to sign federal loan documents are all that you’ll need. [Law School Lowdown / U.S. News & World Report]

If any of the remaining law school lawsuits end up in appeal, the motions to dismiss should be denied and the cases be allowed to proceed.

You took the October LSAT exam, but you are planning to take the test again in December. What should you do to prepare?

If you need help getting into these schools, maybe law school just isn't your thing.

* While we’re loath to continue giving this woman airtime, it turns out that infamous Kentucky clerk Kim Davis’s law firm, Liberty Counsel, was recently declared a hate group by the Southern Poverty Law Center. This fits the overall narrative here quite nicely, don’t you think? [Salon]

* After 12 days of deliberation, the jury in the criminal trial of Dewey & LeBoeuf’s former execs has shown no signs of reaching a verdict, but instead, signs of exhaustion. In fact, one juror needed medical attention because she deliberated too hard. [Am Law Daily]

* This seems to be a common phrase lately: law firm mergers are breaking records again. Altman Weil says more firms announced mergers in the first three quarters of 2015 than in the first three quarters of any year in almost a decade. [Big Law Business / Bloomberg]

* “I was left to reflect on what I would want in the face of my own death.” Thanks to Governor Jerry Brown, California is now the fifth state to legalize physician-assisted suicide. The End of Life Option Act will take effect sometime in 2016. [Los Angeles Times]

* If you’re an undergraduate student who’s planning to go to law school, then you better be building relevant lawyering skills. Master the art of bullsh*tting before you graduate and you’ll be ahead of the game. [Law Admissions Lowdown / U.S. News & World Report]

Law professors are desperate to justify value of law school.

* The town of Collidge, Arizona, does not understand the establishment clause of the First Amendment… come to think of it, they aren’t real clear on the exercise clause either, but that sure doesn’t stop them from invoking it! [Wonkette]

* Could Volkswagen’s revelation (that they rigged their cars to beat emissions tests but then, in real life, pumped out emissions like a bloated redneck with IBS that’s just been given a lifetime supply of baked beans) mean jail time for executives? [Mother Jones]

* Are you a veteran thinking about law school? First of all, why? But if you’re still interested, check out this upcoming Service to School even in D.C. to get the inside scoop. [Service to School]

* Reagan may have been an actor by trade, but he sure spoke like a lawyer. [Guile is Good]

* Don’t know where to house refugees? How about the former Dachau concentration camps? The eminently practical, yet horrifying German solution. [The Guardian]

* The papal visit starts today, and though expectations are high, there might be a nasty tax implication if the pontiff starts talking up Bernie Sanders too much. [TaxProf Blog]

* When Americans talk about religious freedom, they do not mean Muslim Americans. No duh. [The Atlantic]

* Book excerpt about the intersection of the girl who cried rape and lynching. [Jezebel]

* Still care about the Kim Davis debacle? Well, she might be heading back to jail. [Slate]

* If a Ponzi scheme is operated with Bitcoins, is it still a Ponzi scheme? [Dealbreaker]

This is ridiculous.

In the last five years, nearly 70 percent of my law school admission consulting clients have had one of the following stories to tell in their personal statements and/or diversity statements for law school application.

* “[H]e’s just a litigious person. Unless he has something going on in the public eye, he can’t exist.” Former Clippers owner Donald Sterling filed a suit against V. Stiviano and TMZ, accusing them of invading his privacy by sharing a recording of his racism. [New York Post]

* A jury found that an ex-municipal court judge who was convicted of insurance fraud was lying when he claimed that he’d been attacked outside the courthouse by thugs wielding a toilet tank lid. We guess you could say that the jurors were able to flush out all of this guy’s crap. [ABA Journal]

* Talk about a Hail Mary suit: Ted Wells of Paul Weiss and NFL locker-room bullying report fame is being sued for defamation by the former Miami Dolphins offensive-line coach who happened to be one of the casualties of his investigation. [Washington Post]

* Deutsche Bank’s general counsel will step down from his position at the end of the year. Deutsche Bank joins JPMorgan and Bank of America as the third big bank to have announced a change in GC within the past month. [Big Law Business / Bloomberg BNA]

* If you’re considering applying to law school, here are five steps you can take to write a “great” personal statement. Surprisingly, one step isn’t mentioning your guaranteed employment at a family firm after graduation. [Law Admissions Lowdown / U.S. News]

Another day, another GoFundMe page.

* Another American doctor is accused of illegally killing another lesser-known lion in Zimbabwe, but this time, Biglaw is in the doctor’s corner. Apparently when you’re a hunter who’s become the hunted, you turn to Blank Rome. [Am Law Daily]

* Where Dewey eat when allegedly conspiring to scam the firm’s creditors about its financial situation? According to testimony in the D&L trial, criminal activity reportedly tastes better when paired with fine dining experiences. [WSJ Law Blog]

* At some point in the very near future, it’s likely that one or more new Supreme Court justices will need to be appointed, and some say that it’s obvious that Justice Don Willett, the Tweeter Laureate of Texas, is plotting a course to be a nominee. #blessed [Forbes]

* The Fourth Circuit handed down an important opinion on cellphone location records, and it looks like the police need a warrant. Thanks for the circuit split. Quick, someone write a law review note before SCOTUS takes it. [Volokh Conspiracy / Washington Post]

* For some would-be law students, applying early decision may not be the right choice. After all, if you think you can get into ALL of the T14 schools, we bet you’d probably like to see if your huge ego is correct. [Law Admissions Lowdown / U.S. News & World Report]

* “There are no bathrooms, no air-conditioning, no good food. You don’t usually get good cellphone reception, either, and you can’t just quit and go somewhere comfortable.” Surprisingly, this Biglaw partner isn’t talking about his firm’s working conditions. [Miami Herald]

* It’s going to be difficult for U.S. authorities to prosecute Walter Palmer, the dentist who killed Zimbabwe’s beloved lion, Cecil. Bringing this guy down under the Lacey Act is going to be a real task. If only this were a Pixar movie with a happy ending. 🙁 [Reuters]

* SCOTUS justices are jet-setting across the world this summer, with RBG in South Korea and Vietnam, Roberts in Japan, Scalia in Italy, Kennedy in Austria, and Breyer in England. Let’s hope no one has to evacuate a plane via emergency chute. [National Law Journal]

* If you’re considering applying to law school and you decide to visit one this summer, aside from students huddled in dark corners of the library who are crying over their employment prospects, there are a few things you should be looking for. [U.S. News]

* The mother of Sandra Bland, the woman who hanged herself in a Texas jail cell last month, has filed a wrongful-death suit, alleging that her daughter shouldn’t have been arrested in the first place and was improperly supervised by guards. [New York Times]

Other than the rare examples of law schools here and here, you’re going to need to take the LSAT to get into law school.

* Earlier this week, President Barack Obama said that he’d issue an executive order to keep Jon Stewart on as the host of The Daily Show, despite his imminent retirement. POTUS joked that “[i]t’s being challenged in the courts.” [Newsweek]

* Check out this hot mess from New Jersey: An employee in the Cumberland County Prosecutor’s Office was allegedly demoted from office administrator to legal secretary after making comments about a prosecutor’s adult purchases made during a visit to a sex toy shop. [Press of Atlantic City]

* Dentons just snagged a heavy hitter in its Chicago office, where Roderick “Rick” Palmore, formerly general counsel to corporate giant General Mills, will serve as senior counsel. This hire will surely give the firm some “additional street cred.” [Crain’s Chicago Business]

* Uh oh! According to the latest Managing Partner Confidence Index report from Citi Private Bank’s Law Firm Group, Biglaw higher-ups are only “moderately” confident about their financial prospects for the second quarter. [Big Law Business / Bloomberg BNA]

* If you’ve been searching for ways to improve your already strong law school application, then boy, do we have some tips for you. You can start by being even more gunnery — take the LSAT again, and get your GPA even higher. [Law Admissions Lowdown / U.S. News]

Yes, there ARE some people who are good candidates for law school today -- might you be one of them?

Deans and admissions experts are hoping, wishing, and praying for relief.

Columnist Shannon Achimalbe discusses the pros and cons -- mostly cons -- of going to law school today.

This is what it looks like when a law school has to get down on its knees and beg say "pretty please."