Law School Libraries

Dude, it’s the second day of classes. Get your act together.

Everybody knows that the legal profession attracts people with obsessive personalities — and that can also lead to substance abuse. Many people think that the legal profession itself creates alcoholics and addicts. And certainly the twin attacks of stress and unstructured time leads a lot of law students to drink more than they should.

But students started showing up to campus just two days ago. Surely new 1Ls could keep their drinking under control for two days?

Apparently not. Students at one law school have already had to be reminded about the school’s alcohol policy, because 1Ls were drinking in the library on the second day at school…

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Elie here. Did you know that New York-area law schools charge money for the use of their libraries during bar exam study time?

Did you know that people coming to New York to take the bar are willing to pay for the use of these libraries, thereby avoiding the homeless people masturbating at the New York Public Library?

Did you know that New York Law School, of all places, is probably offering the best library deal?

These are some of the things you’ll learn about in this week’s episode of Mr. Bar Exam….

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I’ve never been a fan of U.S. News obsessing over how much money law schools spend on their facilities. I feel it artificially inflates the cost of going to law school in a digital age where so much of what you need can be found online.

But there are some things that you can’t do online. Not yet at least. Like going to the bathroom. Perhaps if Steve Jobs were still alive, the iPoop and the Waterless iPoop would be just around the corner. But we were robbed of that great man.

Maybe all you need to know about the difference between top law schools and not-so-hot law schools really does come down to toilets. At Harvard, they name them after rich alumni. At North Dakota Law School, they barely have them….

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Last week, we asked our readers to submit possible captions for this photo:

On Friday, you voted on the finalists, and now it’s time to announce the winner of our most recent caption contest….

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Earlier this week, we asked readers to submit possible captions for this trashy photo:

Let’s have a look at what our readers were able to come up with, and then vote on the finalists….

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Every year at the end of finals, law students contemplate doing crazy things with their books. While some people want to set them on fire, others want to roll up a page or two and just blaze. These are creative options for creative people.

Others will settle for the simplest solution possible, tossing those babies straight into the nearest trash can. But what happens when a law school does it for you?

Here’s the photo for our latest caption contest….

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* The hotel maid behind DSK’s extended stay in New York has now sued her alleged attacker. Remember, this is all about the truth. It has nothing to do with money. [CNN]

* Should you be worried about the stock market’s seppuku yesterday? If you like money, then probably. If you like your job as an M&A attorney, then definitely. [The Recorder]

* Illinois is giving sex trafficking victims the chance to vacate their prostitution convictions. Even if Reema Bajaj gets convicted, she still couldn’t use this law to clear her name. [Chicago Sun-Times]

* Therapy dogs aren’t just for law school libraries anymore. Now they’re appearing in courtrooms. But is an adorable dog unfair to defendants? Only if you hate dogs… and justice. [New York Times]

* Frank McCourt is still on deck for his at bat with Bingham McCutchen. The good news is that the Dodgers can keep on sucking in the interim. [Los Angeles Times]

* We’re happy that the Breaking Media dress code doesn’t include “Tube-top Tuesday” and “Wet T-shirt Wednesday.” An employee in Utah claims she isn’t as lucky as us. [Salt Lake Tribune]

I was explaining to new Above the Law helper Natasha Lydon how things work in the ATL, and I said: “Basically, from now until finals, we’ll be able to run a ‘stupid law student story’ every day. The kids are stressed, and it’s starting to show.” On cue, I received an email from a law student tipster, with the following subject heading: “Bozo the Clown.” Hilarity ensued.

Above the Law has a long and proud history of documenting the thievery of law students. Who can forget the Tulane Law student who stole a piece of Americana, a shoe worn by Mr. Rogers, from the Louisiana Children’s Museum? Going even further back, there was the Michigan Law student who liked to go around stealing other people’s sandwiches.

Today we’re going to add to that tradition by telling you about the apparent theft — or liberation, depending on how you look at it — of Bozo the Law Library Clown…

UPDATE: Bozo has been found! Read more below…

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