When I was a little kid, my cousin and I set up a produce stand in front of my grandparents’ house. Splayed out on an uneven card table, we offered a variety of bruised, battered, and misshapen produce. From an oblong cantaloupe to a nicked-up watermelon, our “stand” carried the bounty of my grandfather’s patch of land, located somewhere on the Island of Misfit Fruit. My grandmother bought the cantaloupe, the watermelon ended up being thrown at my head, and we closed up shop after two hours of intense dumbf**kery.
I tell you this because my own experience suggests that (a) children are neither cute nor intelligent and (b) kids’ efforts to make money selling stuff are always doomed to failure. And so it was that a band of towheaded tykes got jacked by county officials when they attempted to sell lemonade and other beverages outside the Congressional Country Club golf course, site of this year’s U.S. Open. The kids were fined $500 by the Montgomery County Department of Permitting, for operating without a license.
Let’s go to the tape….