Lesbian Suckling

Ed. note: Have a question for next week? Send it in to advice@abovethelaw.com

ATL:

I am a 2L at Columbia and I am deciding amongst Cravath, Davis Polk, Debevoise (Elie should chime in now), Paul Weiss, and Sullivan & Cromwell.

I am getting married in December so I would love to work at a family-friendly firm. Like Elie, I’m a raging liberal, and I heard Paul Weiss seems to fit that bill. On the other hand, I want to be at a firm with plenty of lovely women. I am bi and my soon-to-be hubby doesn’t mind if I taste a woman’s sweet nectar. Plus I simply cannot live without a pair of supple breasts in my life. (My man is ripped so no manboobs for me.) I met many cute associates at Davis Polk too and I remember an ATL article that mentions the great number of hotties at DPW.

So many choices! Can you help me out?

– Paradox of Choice

Dear Paradox of Choice,

Nice try, but this question’s a flame because nobody uses the term “sweet nectar” unless they’re (1) referring to the drink Odysseus used to get the Cyclops drunk and poke his eye out, or (2) a copywriter at Cosmo. Nevertheless, we’ll answer it because it’s slim pickings around here this week, and it’s better than another snooze-alert “should I quit law school?” question.  Of course you should quit law school. Don’t be ridiculous.

Let’s break down these firms…

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