Marriage

* David Simon, the creator of The Wire, weighs in on Baltimore. He points blame at a police force rooted in “a culture that taught them not the hard job of policing, but simply how to roam the city, jack everyone up, and call for the wagon.” F**k. [Talking Points Memo]

* In Colorado, marriage is defined as one man and… well, that’s all you need actually. [Business Insider Law & Order]

* No sooner did I tweet Chief Justice Roberts for his cynical inconsistencies than Brianne Gorod offers a more charitable theory about the jurist. [New Republic]

* Hull takes a stab at explaining his problem with the parlance of email. [What About Clients?]

* A fly on the wall at the post-Obergefell chambers conference. [Law Prof Blawg]

* Professor Hasen examines Williams-Yulee. [Election Law Blog]

* Another reality TV legal run-in: the restaurant from “Welcome to Sweetie Pie’s” settles a discrimination suit over an employee claiming she was fired for refusing to join a prayer session. I think the important question here is: there’s really a show called “Welcome to Sweetie Pie’s”? [Missouri Lawyers Weekly]

* Did you follow that child custody hearing over letting an 11-year-old attend a P!nk (is this how we write that now?) concert? Because it was crazypants. [Bronzino Law]

* Could the Uber class action suit spell relief for contract attorneys? [Law and More]

* Ballard Spahr’s Chair Mark Stewart talks about the competition between law firms and the distribution of… oh, face it, you just want to hear him talk about hiring Rogers Stevens of Blind Melon as an associate. [Bloomberg BNA / Big Law Business]

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CzXBlzvxuMs

* Protesters disrupt the Supreme Court to complain about Citizens United. Just two or three more of these and Alito is sure to break! [SCOTUSBlog]

* In completely unrelated news, TV spending in the Supreme Court race in Wisconsin has now topped $600,000. No risk of corruption there. [Brennan Center For Justice]

* Arkansas Governor Asa Hutchinson has, at the last minute, refused to sign a new RFRA after watching Indiana blow up its own economy over the same law. In other news, Indiana Governor Mike Pence received a delightful gift basket today this morning with the message, “Thanks for taking the hit on this one — Asa XOXOXO.” [New York Times]

* Speaking of the RFRA kerfuffle, defending champion UConn is boycotting the Final Four in Indiana this weekend. Not qualifying for the tournament certainly helps. How about we hold off praising this “bold stance” until a team actually playing this weekend makes a symbolic show of support. [NBC Connecticut]

* After a season of reading about cops brutalizing unarmed kids for no reason, there’s a project in Baltimore trying to get the police to better connect with teens. Anything would help. [Washington Post]

* There’s a new .sucks domain name, more or less designed for the sole purpose of extorting money from companies and celebrities. I don’t see the problem, they extort money out of us all the time. [LXBN]

* Cool new tech. It’s like Google Glass for transactional lawyers, designed to instantly identify and highlight key provisions. OK this is an April Fools gag, but their real product actually operates on the same principle. [Kira Specs]

* Just because married couples can file jointly doesn’t mean they should. For that matter, just because couples can marry doesn’t mean they should. Think about it. [California Lawyer]

* Richard Hsu talks with Guy Kawasaki, the Chief Evangelist of Canva, and former Chief Evangelist of Apple. Evangelists just in time for the holiday! [Hsu Untied]

* What have we done? We wrote about a candidate for SBA President at the University of Miami School of Law with a cheesy campaign video and he won. And now he’s drunk with power. He’s instituting a mandatory dress code! His email is on the next page…

Miami Law Family,

First and foremost, congratulations to all of the newly elected Student Leaders. Today’s Passing of the Gavel ceremony was a huge success, and I look forward to working with you all during the upcoming school year.

It is now time to roll up our sleeves and get to work. I recently surveyed a group of students about immediate issues they want the SBA to address. Without question, they felt that the biggest issue with the law school was that too many students wear flip flops and T-shirts to class. Thus, starting next Monday, April 6th, the SBA will be implementing a mandatory business casual/professional dress code for all full-time students. I know it may come as a shock, but my cabinet felt that this is a priority that needed to be addressed. We chose to make this our first order of business to demonstrate that we are here to work. This is clearly the first step to improve our bar passage rate, and I thank you for your understanding.

I will be following up with you all later this week about upcoming SBA matters. I know you all had a nice break from me spamming your inbox, but I’m back and better than ever.

Please see below for a detailed outline of what attire will be included/excluded from the mandatory dress code.

Truly yours,
Matt Deblinger
President, Student Bar Association

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Oh, before I forget… THANK YOU to Outgoing SBA President Sara Solano. Miss Solano did a phenomenal job as President, and she left big shoes to fill, despite being much shorter than me. As for that mandatory dress code I mentioned….. April Fools!!! 🙂

In all seriousness- I cannot wait to work with all of the SBA E-board members, SBA Senators, administrators, and the student organization leaders. There is an SBA meeting tomorrow, 4/2/15, at 12:30PM in F309, where we will be appointing our Speaker of the Senate and discussing next year’s SBA Budget. As always, time will be allotted for general student body comments. We encourage you all to attend.

Your Student Leaders are going to be working hard to ensure that the 2015-16 school year will be one of the most successful year’s in Miami Law’s history. You’ve elected a great group of students.

If you have any questions, concerns, or ideas– or simply want to grab Icees & appetizers with me– please do not hesitate to call/text me. It’s my job is to serve you, but at the end of the day, I’m equally your colleague and friend.

Here’s to a good year,
Matthew Ryan David Deblinger
President, Student Bar Association
University of Miami School of Law

* 60 Minutes correspondent Steve Kroft got to live out many an American’s fantasy: he got to screw a lawyer, again and again. [Gawker]

* “I guess if I had to change one thing, it would have been to go to law school after college. But I didn’t know what I wanted to be when I grew up until I actually grew up, and by then it was a little too late for those goals.” [XX Factor / Slate]

* Hoboken councilwoman Beth Mason and her husband, Wachtell Lipton partner Ricky Mason, just got hit with more than $40,000 dollars in fines for election finance reporting violations. [Politicker NJ]

* Some thoughts from Professor Jonathan Adler on standing up for free speech in the wake of the Charlie Hebdo shootings. [Volokh Conspiracy / Washington Post]

* Speaking of Charlie Hebdo, Professor Ann Althouse isn’t a fan of slobbery kisses. [Althouse]

* How do legal rules contribute to the evolution of the institution of marriage? Thoughts from Professors Naomi Cahn and June Carbone. [Concurring Opinions]

Is gay marriage today similar to interracial marriage in the 1960s?

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How would Stephen Colbert interpret the Equal Protection Clause?

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In most people's experience, being a lawyer REPELS potential mates, but...

Can you sue inanimate objects utilized in an affair -- like the online infidelity service, Ashley Madison?

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How can your spouse, domestic partner or significant other help make or break your solo practice?

How can you tell if you need to be working on Black Friday?

How do you and your significant other compare to these three high-powered couples?

No, silly, you cannot continue to spend money when your spouse doesn't have any.

Which of these three fabulous lawyer couples is our Couple of the Week?

Elizabeth Wurtzel, the prominent writer and lawyer, shares relationship advice and talks about her next book.

* The Mars Curiosity rover played “Happy Birthday to You” to itself on the first anniversary of its landing on the Red Planet. It takes about 13 minutes for transmissions from Mars to reach the Earth. Time Warner sued NASA 14 minutes after Curiosity’s performance. [io9] * Fans of the Colorado Rockies… fans? Huh, okay! Anyway, the case posits that Rockies ticket holders should be allowed to sell them on the secondary market. If they can’t unload Rockies tickets, they may be forced to watch a team 11 games out of first place flounder. [Forbes] * Paul Rampell, Donald Trump’s lawyer, advocates for replacing marriages with leases with defined terms. It gives new meaning to “trading in for a new model.” The thrice married Trump nods approvingly. [Washington Post] * The Rumpus interviews Dean Frank H. Wu of UC Hastings. Turns out he’s writing “a bad trashy novel.” So it probably won’t make the 25 Greatest Law Novels ever list. But then again, they put The Fountainhead on that list, so don’t give up hope, Dean Wu! [The Rumpus] * Poetry Corner: Kenneth Branagh Prepares Evidence For Trial. So long as he’s not preparing to direct another awful Thor movie, I’m fine. [Poetic Justice] * Just what do Americans even want from an energy policy? That Cuisinart fusion reactor from Back to the Future, that’s what. [Breaking Energy] * A defendant called a judge “Hon,” and it did not go well. I wonder what Judge Montes gets called at the club? [Sun Sentinel] * Anthony Weiner once explained that he was “inspired” by a book about a lawyer who wants to cheat on his wife. Indeed. [BuzzFeed]

* Authorities are exhuming the Boston strangler suspect to attempt to match his DNA with a sample recovered from a victim killed almost 50 years ago, highlighting advances in DNA harvesting technology. In other news, COBRA Command claims that Project: Serpentor is moving along nicely. [NY Times] * Ninth Circuit Judge William Fletcher dissents in the case of Deere v. Cullen. Judge Fletcher writes: “The majority holds that a judge suffering from dementia may sentence a man to death.” He’s so unreasonable. [PrawfsBlawg] * The Texas student that Tamara Tabo wrote about this morning, whose arrest for making terrorist threats sparked a Facebook phenomenon, has been released on bail. [The Blaze] * Kash Hill reports on the decision in the Sarah Jones case. The former cheerleader and current paralegal won $338,000 in her defamation suit. [Forbes] * The advent of a new job in the field of sex work: The “Coparazzi,” documenting cop mistreatment of sex workers. This job title is offensive because it suggests that the Paparazzi are doing something admirable. [Jezebel] * An argument for compromising reputation for scholarship money when selecting a law school. As one of the commenters on the article (steponitvelma) put it: “Congratulations. How wonderful.” [The Billfold] * Women are realizing that husbands are crimping their style. [The Careerist]

How will history look upon the nine current members of the Supreme Court? And who is your favorite justice?