Marriage

The Love Of A Woman Is More Valuable Than A Partnership At Skadden

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Ed. note: The following piece was authored by The Legal Tease, of Sweet Hot Justice fame. Check out her other musings from Sweet Hot Justice here.

Has your soul winced at all today? The kind of wince that feels like your junk has retreated deep into your abdomen in a way that makes you mostly nauseous… but also a little excited? No? Well, YOU’RE WELCOME, because here’s your chance. Actually, though, don’t thank me — thank a partner at one of Biglaw’s biggest and baddest firms, whose departure memo will leave track marks in your brain for at least the next three days.

Our partner, Garrett Waltzer, started off with the usual sentiments: After 24 years practicing at Skadden, in both Los Angeles and Palo Alto, he’s grateful for the professional opportunities, the terrific mentoring, the millions of dollars friendships he’s made, yada yada yada. Then he starts to tease us:

I have decided to start a new phase of my life. I do not plan to practice law.

Hm. OK. Well, Waltzer, what do you plan to do then? The answers await you after the jump, in what will likely heretofore be known as Chapter 1 of the Mid-Life Crisis Manual handed out to all new associates at Skadden and beyond….

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Above the Law’s Top Ten Most Popular Posts of 2012

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It’s the last day of December, so it’s a good time to look back on the year that was. We’ll do what we’ve done for the past three years (wrap-up posts from 2009, 2010, and 2011 can be found here, here, and here) and identify the ten biggest stories of the past year as decided by you, our readers. With the help of Google Analytics, we’ve compiled a list of our top ten posts for 2012, based on traffic (as represented by pageviews).

By the way, for the third year in a row, the most popular category page on Above the Law was Law Schools. People have now been intensely focused on the declining value proposition of going to law school for as long as it takes to earn a Juris Doctor degree. Isn’t it time that we graduate from the current educational model?

The second and third most-popular categories on ATL in 2012 were Biglaw and Bonuses. Although this year brought us the largest law firm failure ever, nearly all other firms indiscriminately doled out offers to summer associates, and bonus season looked better for the first time in years. While the legal profession is still in transition, things are certainly looking up, and through the highs and the lows, we’ve been there to cover it all.

So what were the ten most popular individual posts at Above the Law in 2012? Let’s find out….

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A Bride Sues Over Her Wedding Dress Woes — And Wins!

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It’s been quite some time since we last wrote in great detail about wedding litigation; in fact, it’s been almost a year. Could that possibly mean that the bridezillas of the world have been happy with how their magical days have turned out? Maybe everybody is happy now that Elie is marrying people. Eh, doubtful. Besides, they’ve probably still got plenty of time before the applicable statute of limitations runs out.

But when a bridal litigant thinks that someone’s actually ruined their wedding day, you can be damn sure that she’s going to sue, and quickly, especially when the thing at the heart of the potential lawsuit is the wedding gown itself. Pretty much every bride looks at the wedding gown — and how beautiful they look in it — as the thing that people will remember most about their big day (but no matter how fabulous the dress, if the food sucks, you’re probably going to be screwed as to what your guests will take away from the overall experience, sorry about that).

Anyway, the plaintiff-bride in this wedding lawsuit was pissed off, and rightfully so, because thanks to the faulty alterations on the gown, she couldn’t even use the bathroom on the day she got married….

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Legal Eagle Wedding Watch: Term of Endearment

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The Supreme Court’s 2008-2009 Term resulted in many notable decisions, including Ricci v. DeStafano and NAMUDNO v. Holder. It also resulted in some epic romances among the law clerks who ruled the building that year. This edition of Legal Eagle Wedding Watch features an astounding five Supreme Court clerks, all from that steamy OT ’08 class.

With five SCOTUS clerks — plus one former White House counsel — this is sure to be one prestige-drenched competition. Settle in, wedding watchers. Here are your finalists:

Jennifer Wynn and Damian Williams

Erin Delaney and Travis Lenkner

Miriam Seifter and Robert Yablon

Beth Nolan and Charles Wright

You’ll find all the details on these lawyer newlyweds, plus many more, after the jump.

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Prominent Investor Gets ‘Screwed’ By Ex-Wife’s Lawyering Skills

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Many women dream of having it all, but some find that it’s just not in the cards. That being said, sometimes when women lawyers get married and decide to start having children, they leave the law — but the law never leaves them. They’ll always hang on to that knowledge for safekeeping if the need ever arises.

Today, we’ve got a story out of California about how a former lawyer used her knowledge of the law to keep milking alimony and child support payments out of her ex-husband. She certainly figured out how to “have it all.”

Here’s a lesson for all of the men out there: just because your ex-wife wore a wedding dress does not mean she’s remarried in the eyes of the law….

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Debating Same-Sex Marriage: An Interview With John Corvino

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Professor John Corvino is the co-author of an excellent new book, Debating Same-Sex Marriage. The book consists of a debate between Corvino, who supports gay marriage, and Maggie Gallagher, who opposes it — and who has, through her work for the National Organization for Marriage, vigorously resisted the legal recognition of same-sex marriage.

The issue of gay marriage can be divisive, but the book has in many ways been uniting. In addition to bringing together Corvino and Gallagher — who have done numerous joint events to promote the book, despite their very divergent views — even the book’s blurbs have made for strange bedfellows. In the words of Dan Savage, author of the Savage Love sex advice column, Debating Same-Sex Marriage “is the first and, without a doubt, the last book in the whole sordid history of books that will be blurbed by both me and Rick Santorum.”

Over the weekend, I interviewed Corvino about the issues discussed in the book, with a focus on legal issues relating to same sex-marriage….

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Above the Law Can Now Legally Perform Weddings: Now Tell Me How Marriage Is A Sacred Institution

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I can now perform 'mawwages.'

On Friday, I took a little trip to the New York County Clerk’s office to become registered as a marriage officiant in the state of New York.

Let me say that again: I can now legally marry people. Like a mayor. Or a ship’s captain.

Going through the process of becoming a marriage officiant has given me a wonderful look at the state of our marriage laws, and my hours at the clerk’s office were the perfect icing. Let me say just say that the closer you get to the legal process of marriage, the more ridiculous gay marriage opponents appear.

I mean, come on, if I can legally marry people, how “sacred” or “traditional” is the institution of marriage really? Besides, have you looked at some of the man/woman combinations that are getting married these days? I just think we are inviting God’s judgment on our nation when we shake our fists at Him and say, “Instead of helping the poor or sick or infirm, we’re all going to eat chicken sandwiches to show that we’ll defend as sacred something that can be done in two hours at the freaking clerk’s office.”

Let’s just say that the number of gay people getting marriage licenses was dwarfed by the number of men standing their with pregnant girlfriends looking like their balls were being held in a vise grip….

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Man Uses Freeway Billboard Ad to Propose to Texas Lawyer

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There are many ways that lawyers can advertise their services to the general public, such as television commercials and print ads in the telephone book. But entertaining lawyer billboards are a favorite of ours; they have generated excellent material for some of Above the Law’s own caption contests.

Apparently they’re also great fodder for marriage proposals, as one Texan proved this past weekend….

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Legal Eagle Wedding Watch: Mo’ Money, Mo’ Problems

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Aficionados of wedding-related WTF-ery should not miss this slide show of married-name train wrecks. The one shown at right is mild compared to some of the other exhibits!

And speaking of train wrecks, lawyers continue to marry at a depressing rate. Here’s our roundup of all the recent legal weddings, plus an in-depth look at the following outstanding newlyweds:

Heather Davis and John Jones II

Leah Raful and Seth Goldberg

Stephanie Adams and Patrick Ryan

Read on for the details on these couples — plus photos and links to their wedding registries.

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Morning Docket: 05.25.12

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* In a Supreme Court decision split across gender lines, prosecutors can now get a do-over on criminal charges without double jeopardy, even if an otherwise deadlocked jury unanimously rejected them. [New York Times]

* And yet another day ended without a verdict in the John Edwards campaign finance trial, but the jury asked to review every exhibit in the case. The former presidential candidate must feel like he’s being punk’d. [CNN]

* The DOJ found that two prosecutors in the Ted Stevens case committed reckless professional misconduct punishable by unpaid time off. Looks like they’ll be getting an extended Memorial Day break. [Blog of Legal Times]

* Hot on the heels of Obama’s announcement in support of gay marriage, yet another California judge has found that DOMA is unconstitutional (along with a provision of the tax code). [Poliglot / Metro Weekly]

* Occupy Wall Street is suing for $48K over the destruction of the group’s “People’s Library” after their eviction from Zuccotti Park. But let’s get real, who wants used books that reek like patchouli and pot? [Bloomberg]

* More than one million “de facto spouses” in Quebec may soon be automatically married by the state against their will. Imagine how much fun it’ll be to get a divorce from someone you never actually married. [Slate]

* Two waitresses who claim they were fired for complaining about their former employer’s “no fatties” policy will get to bring their $15M lawsuit before a jury. Hopefully Peter Griffin isn’t a juror. [Law & Daily Life / FindLaw]

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