Michael Jackson

Non-Sequiturs: 05.02.13

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* OMG, you guys! Michael Jackson just died. At least according to concert promoter AEG Live, whose lawyer FINALLY conceded to the claim that Jackson had passed. [CNN]

* The new NRA President is a tool lawyer! [Washington Times]

* Jim Beck reviews the works of our own Mark Herrmann: Inside Straight(affiliate link) and Drug and Device Product Liability Litigation Strategy [Drug and Device Law]

* Quinn Emanuel announces its spoils following up on the departure of Michael Lyle and Eric Lyttle from Weil. [Quinn Emanuel]

* Studies suggest that the more elite the school, the more likely its female graduates drop out of the work force after getting married and having kids. Women who run in elite circles and are therefore more likely to marry into financial secure partnerships are also less likely to keep grinding away at a job in order to put their kids through school? No kidding. [The Careerist]

* Administrative Law Judges file suit over perceived quotas that they claim trigger the depletion of Social Security. Cost-cutting legislators think the ALJs should be depleting the fund more. Blerg. [Washington Post]

* Check out the T-shirt sold at Santa Clara University. The proximity to the Santa Clara Law shirts is… fitting?

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Morning Docket: 08.16.12

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* Dewey have some false expectations of success for this partner settlement agreement? Only one in four affected partners have signed on the dotted line, but advisers think the plan will win bankruptcy court approval. [Am Law Daily]

* “There comes a point where the prospects of substantially increasing your income just outweigh everything else.” Even on his $168K salary, this appellate judge wasn’t rich in New York City, so he quit his job. [New York Law Journal]

* The middle class needs lawyers, and unemployed law school graduates need jobs. The solution for both problems seems pretty obvious, but starting a firm still costs money, no matter how “prudent” you are. [National Law Journal]

* “This is a time when law schools are trying to look carefully at their expenses and not add to them.” New York’s new pro bono initiative may come at a cost for law schools, too. [Thomson Reuters News & Insight]

* Much to Great Britain’s dismay, Ecuador has announced that it will grant political asylum to Julian Assange of WikiLeaks fame. Sucks for Ecuador, because Assange is known to not flush the toilet. [New York Times]

* A smooth criminal gets a break: Michael Jackson’s father dropped a wrongful death suit against Dr. Conrad Murray. It probably would’ve been helpful if his attorneys could actually practice in California. [Washington Post]

* Did Lindsay Lohan’s lawyers plagiarize documents from internet websites in their defamation filings against Pitbull? You can deny it all you want, but his lawyer is out for blood and sanctions. [New York Daily News]

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Morning Docket: 12.15.11

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* Guys in my high school White House dropped threats to veto defense bills authorizing infinite detention of U.S. citizens all the time, it was no big deal. Nothing like bastardizing the Sixth Amendment. [New York Times]

* So much for occupying the court system, eh? This judge won’t budge on dismissals, and more than half of the OWS protesters who appeared in court yesterday accepted an offer over going to trial. [Bloomberg]

* Gibson Dunn says that it will file a motion to dismiss Paul Ceglia’s Facebook suit in January. Now taking bets on whether Ceglia will have another lawyer by then. [Buffalo News]

* Just like Michael Jackson, Conrad Murray’s money was gone too soon. He’s requesting a public defender to handle the appeal of his conviction for involuntary manslaughter. [CNN]

* Lindsay Lohan was finally able to please Judge Sautner during her probation progress hearing. She was also able to please her adoring fans, because she reportedly flashed her bra. [USA Today]

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Non-Sequiturs: 11.29.11

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* We suspected as much: it appears that the “poop tattoo” story is, er, “full of crap.” [The Smoking Gun]

* What’s the first Michael Jackson lyric that Conrad Murray will hear in jail from his fellow prisoners? My vote: “I want to love you, pretty young thing.” [Hollywood Reporter]

* Herman Cain wants the media to get off his d*ck about his alleged extramarital affairs. He’s got plenty of other women who he’s “never acted inappropriately with” for that. [Volokh Conspiracy]

* Anyone can be a law student stripper if they try hard enough, but it takes a special kind of gal to pose as a paralegal and strip for prisoners. [Riptide 2.0 / Miami New Times]

* Corporate socialism and you: a business primer for New York, courtesy of David Cay Johnston. [Reuters]

* The “first ever” original jurisdiction standings? An interesting read if you’re a con law nerd. [Odd Clauses Watch]

* After bopping her on the head with a hatchet, you can be damn sure that your neighbor is never going to let you borrow a cup of sugar again. [Legal Juice]

8 Comments

Morning Docket: 11.11.11

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Angelica Marie Cecora, Oscar's latest lady-friend

* A bill to repeal DOMA made it past the Senate Judiciary Committee, but members of the Senate don’t do dick (unless it’s in an airport bathroom), so it’s probably not going anywhere. [Blog of Legal Times]

* Next on the gay rights news beat, after waiting around for 18 months, WilmerHale attorney Edward DuMont has refused to be the last belle at the ball. He’s asked Obama to withdraw his Federal Circuit nomination. [ThinkProgress]

* “Be careful of what you do, ’cause the lie becomes the truth.” Sound familiar? Conrad Murray says the King of Pop deceived him. Oh, boo hoo. Come on, MJ warned you about this stuff via song lyrics back in the eighties. [CNN]

* When a lawyer’s wife allegedly hires you to kill her husband, the easy way out isn’t to burn down his law firm. You kind of need to make sure that he’s in there first. [KBZK]

* Oscar de la Hoya’s got bigger problems than this kinky lawsuit. He’s probably more worried about getting runs in his stockings, to be honest. [New York Post]

* Snitches don’t get stitches in Mexico. They get their freakin’ heads chopped off. And now I wait for a drug cartel to come and murder me. [Daily Mail]

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Breaking: Conrad Murray Found Guilty of Involuntary Manslaughter in Michael Jackson Case

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Dr. Conrad Murray

With hundreds gathered outside of a courthouse in California (with a stunning lack of Michael Jackson impersonators), we can finally answer this lingering question.

Who’s bad? Dr. Conrad Murray.

Dr. Murray, the King of Pop’s doctor, has been found guilty of involuntary manslaughter.

What kind of sentence is Dr. Murray looking at?

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Morning Docket: 10.13.11

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In need of legal representation.

* People seriously need to stop complaining about alternative careers for attorneys. Having a JD can lead to a fulfilling career outside of the law, assuming you can make partner at Cravath first. [DealBook / New York Times]

* Due to a decline in filing fees on the killing of the American dream, the Florida court system had to take out a $45.6M loan. It’s kind of like they have their own unpayable mortgage now. Gotta love karma. [Miami Herald]

* The ABA Journal really wants to know how hard it is for recent law school graduates to find a job. Maybe if we flood them with responses, the ABA will give a sh*t. Ugh, I’m way too optimistic. [ABA Journal]

* If you’re willing to move to Iowa, here’s a niche practice alert for you: stripper law. Who thought that you could find work in limiting boob exposure? And why would you want to? [Des Moines Register]

* We all know Michael Jackson was bad, but was he bad enough to drink his propofol straight up? Conrad Murray’s defense team may have changed its tune. [CNN]

* Did a judge seriously think he could arraign someone with close ties to the Wu? He’s lucky True Master didn’t let the killa bees out on his ass. [DNAinfo]

54 Comments

Morning Docket: 04.13.11

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Raj Rajaratnam

* Raj Rajaratnam’s got a cute insider trading friend named Octopussy. Maybe he’s been doing some other insider trading, if you know what I mean. [Bloomberg]

* Florida redefines “beating it.” It may be time to reconsider things if you’re paying $2.99 to watch a hate crime with your pants off. Come on, at least look into some free porn. [Washington Post]

* Speaking of beating it, here’s a memo to file for John Branca from Katherine Jackson: she doesn’t wanna see your face, you better disappear. [Newark Star-Ledger]

* Listen, Frank, Bingham might be trying to “defend conduct that is indefensible,” but you were thinking about trading Chad Billingsley. Give me a break. [NBC Sports]

* Google v. Government. The DOJ isn’t buying what Google’s selling because Microsoft is a little bit less evil, and a little bit more FISMA compliant. [Los Angeles Times]

* Nothing says corporate equality for women lawyers like a picture of a woman in a fugly suit trapped inside of a dog cage. [The Careerist]

17 Comments

Morning Docket: 01.12.11

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Jared Lee Loughner

* The attorney of Jared Lee Loughner will likely dig back several generations in order to establish her client’s lunacy. Apparently Loughner was an avowed nihilist. I mean, say what you want about the tenets of National Socialism… [New York Times]

* Meanwhile, newspapers have grappled with how to use the batsh*t mugshot of Jared Loughner. Although “grappled” might be too strong a word as that cuckoo for Cocoa Puffs grin stares out a thousand-fold from every newsstand.[Washington Post]

* Silvio Berlusconi’s lawyers are trying to persuade an Italian court that he is immune from prosecution in two separate cases brought against him. Bunga Bunga. [BusinessWeek]

Eva Longoria

* Eva Longoria was sued for violating California state usury laws. When Tony Parker heard the news, he surrendered. Cause he’s French. He’s French, guys. Get it? [msnbc.com]

* An Iranian human rights lawyer has been sentenced to 11 years in prison, five of those years for not wearing a hijab. Reports are unclear, however, whether or not she is a lush Persian beauty. [CNN]

* Yesterday, a judge ordered that Michael Jackson’s physician stand trial for involuntary manslaughter in the singer’s moonwalk off this mortal coil. [ABA Journal]

* “A Spanish teacher who was fired for getting hot and sweaty with another woman in a Brooklyn classroom is suing to get her job back.” [New York Post]

12 Comments

Morning Docket: 01.05.11

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Rahm Emanuel has reason to smile today.

* This Kentucky attorney is filing a new brief against the TSA, but not the kind that you’d expect. [Cincinnati Enquirer]

* There used to be a street in Chicago named after Rahm Emanuel, but it was changed because nobody crosses Rahm Emanuel and lives. [Clout Street / Chicago Tribune]

* Who wants to plug the hole with a grenade? The Jersey Supreme Court has got more drama than the Jersey Shore. [Wall Street Journal]

* If your “to do” list involves buying eggs and murdering your law school professor, you should really consider prioritizing your goals. [WJXT Jacksonville]

* Robert Half says lawyers will get a 4.1% salary increase in 2011, except for the lawyers who don’t. Um, thanks? [Boston Globe]

* Well, there’s a first time for everything. A DEA agent shot himself in the foot by literally shooting himself in the foot. [Washington Post]

* Instead of asking “Michael, are you okay? Are you okay, Michael?,” the King of Pop’s doctor, a heart surgeon, wanted to know if anyone knew CPR. [CNN]

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