Michael Vick

In honor of last night’s first round of the NFL Draft, I decided to scrap my usual routine this week. That routine consists of combing the internets for sports stories that ever-so-slightly touch on legal matters and bringing those stories to you with a healthy dose of deranged non sequiturs. This column rarely makes sense and when it inexplicably does, it may be even more unreadable. No matter, as last night’s auction of human beings gave me an idea that, I hope, will really knock your socks off your now-naked feet.

Because football players are largely detestable human beings, I thought it would be interesting to take a stroll through the last twenty years of NFL drafts to recount the first round draft picks who have had scrapes with the law. From felonies to misdemeanors to a sidebar on the bizarre physical specimen that was Mark McGwire’s brother, herewith is the Rap Sheet Roll Call of the NFL Draft, Round One. The 31st and 32nd picks do not have a twenty year history and were, thus, omitted.

All facts cited come from the players’ Wikipedia entries, unless otherwise linked. Because I’m not going to the trouble of hyperlinking everything while the NFL Draft is on.

Let’s talk Mel Kiper’s hair and Mark Mayock’s lateral lisp…

double red triangle arrows Continue reading “Draft Picks Have Tremendous Criminal ‘Upside’”

Casey Anthony, the young woman accused — and then acquitted — of killing her daughter, dropped off the radar after her sentencing in early July.

Thanks to Nancy Grace’s efforts, the allegedly murderous hottie soon became the most-hated woman in America. Rumors of attacks on Tot Mom look-alikes ran rampant, a burly African-American male named Casey Anthony had his Facebook wall defaced, and the real Casey Anthony was forced into hiding.

Within the past week, however, a purported video of the alleged child killer appeared on YouTube. Shortly thereafter, NBC News confirmed that the woman featured was, in fact, the real Casey Anthony.

She’s sporting a completely new look that’s reminiscent of a hot librarian. How does it compare to her old look, and what does she have to say for herself?

double red triangle arrows Continue reading “What’s Casey Anthony Up to These Days?”