Michigan

* A lawsuit alleges Florida police used excessive force after mistaking Star Trek memorabilia for weapons. They should have set their phasers to stun… [Hill]

* The Trump Organization has hired a criminal defense lawyer. [Wall Street Journal]

* A public defender is suing her boss for allegedly being told to dress more modestly to avoid the sexual interest of male prisoners. [Daily Mail]

* Three Michigan lawyers have been charged in a scheme to collect debts on money that was allegedly never owed. [Fox News]

* Check out this article on how Originalism is being used by state court judges. [Juris Lab]

* A man’s death after participating in a taco-eating contest has spawned a lawsuit against a minor-league baseball team. [Washington Post]

* The Biden Administration is asking a judge to dismiss a climate change lawsuit filed on behalf of kids. Hope they can handle the heat… [Hill]

* A Michigan lawyer is giving away a free divorce for Valentine’s Day. How romantic… [Fox News]

* Google is paying millions to resolve allegations that it discriminated against female and Asian job applicants. [Bloomberg Law]

* A paralegal in Texas is accused of embezzling around $40,000 from her former employer. [ABC News]

* A settlement has been reached in a lawsuit about the alleged lack of Spanish-language voting materials in Florida. [NBC News]

* Quinn Emanuel is apparently operating an office in Atlanta out of a former partner’s home. Since everyone is working from home anyways, this seems completely normal. [Bloomberg Law]

* A Long Island lawyer has filed nearly 100 lawsuits alleging that companies are falsely claiming their products contain vanilla. He should go after restaurants unfairly advertising they sell New York-style pizza and bagels… [Inside Edition]

* A Florida lawyer, who dressed as the Grim Reaper on beaches to promote social distancing, is facing legal setbacks in his lawsuit against Florida’s Governor Ron DeSantis over COVID-19-related measures. [News Service of Florida]

* A number of court proceedings in Durham County, North Carolina, have been canceled because a substantial amount of local prosecutors are quarantining after being exposed to COVID-19. [WRAL.com]

* A Michigan funeral home recently settled a lawsuit that led to a major LGBT ruling at the Supreme Court. [Star Tribune]

* Massachusetts is paving the way for marijuana delivery, which may prompt legal action from retailers. Guess Mr. Nice Guy might soon be legal in the Commonwealth… [Mass Live]

* A lawsuit has been filed over the rights to Breakfast at Tiffany’s. “And I said, ‘what about Breakfast at Tiffany’s?'”… [Deadline]

* An Ohio lawyer is facing ethics charges because he allegedly offered to exchange legal services for a client cleaning the lawyer’s home in the nude. [ABA Journal]

* An purported extra-marital affair of the Attorney General of Texas is being connected to criminal allegations against the official. [U.S. News and World Report]

* Check out this article on the latest status of election lawsuits filed by the Trump Campaign. [Fox News]

* The Michigan Attorney General pleaded with residents to stop telling election officials to shove sharpies in their butts. Michigan residents sure are creative. [New York Post]

* The Attorney General of New Jersey needed to reiterate that it was still illegal to use pot in the state after a legalization ballot initiative passed. Harold and Kumar was filmed in NJ, the Garden State has a long history with cannabis… [NJ Advance Media]

* A Michigan woman who allegedly pretended to be a government lawyer to defraud immigrants has been sentenced to prison. [Michigan Live]

* A former convict turned lawyer has become the first formerly incarcerated person to win elected office in Washington State. [ALM]

* A Minnesota lawyer has been sentenced to prison for allegedly colluding with a chiropractor to bilk insurance companies with false claims. [Twin Cities Pioneer Press]

* Michigan’s Secretary of State said an election lawsuit filed by the Trump Campaign is “frivolous.” Other Trump lawsuits have been similarly labeled in the past… [CBS News]

* Michael Cohen, President Trump’s former lawyer, suggested he voted for Joe Biden. No surprise there. [Hill]

* Police have released video of vandals tagging the home of a prominent New York City attorney. [New York Post]

* Major companies are urging law firms to enlist more diverse legal teams to handle client work. [Wall Street Journal]

* A Michigan attorney has been arrested for obtaining signatures for a petition opposing the emergency powers exercised by Michigan’s governor. [Michigan Live]

* A South Florida attorney has been disciplined for posing as her adversary’s client online and writing a fake negative review. This lawyer may have too much free time… [Miami Herald]

* A Texas judge has been disciplined for posting Facebook congratulations to attorneys who won jury verdicts in her courtroom. Should have saved that conduct for LinkedIn… [Texas Lawyer]

* An attorney representing Anheuser-Busch in a lawsuit involving a Bud Light Super Bowl ad has requested a new oral argument date because he tested positive for COVID-19. [Bloomberg Law]

* Michael Sussman, the attorney for the alleged Monsey stabber (and a former adversary of mine), is requesting an autopsy of the victim even though autopsies run counter to Jewish burial traditions. [Forward]

* Jeff Sessions has stated that he has no regrets about leaving the Senate to serve as the Attorney General of the United States. [Hill]

* The owner of a strip club in Flint, Michigan, has filed a lawsuit claiming that the Payroll Protection Program improperly excludes businesses in the sex industry. This story is kind of reminiscent of another “Flynt”… [Michigan Live]

* Kevin Hart is trying to dismiss a sex tape lawsuit by alleging that a process server merely threw papers out of a car window while driving by his house. It would be pretty awesome if there was a drive-by method of service… [TMZ]

* A Michigan man has been arrested for threatening to “bleed [out]” the lawyer who represents the whistleblower at the heart of the Trump impeachment investigation. [NBC News]

* A lawyer has plead not guilty to charges related to the murder of a Connecticut mom. [New York Daily News]

* A Texas lawyer needs to pay $40 Million in taxes after losing a lawsuit against the IRS. [Texas Lawyer]

* Former New York politician Sheldon Silver has formulated a new strategy to keep himself out of jail for an even longer period of time. With tactics like this, Silver doesn’t need a presidential pardon… [New York Post]

* Is SCOTUS walking back its landmark commitment to equal rights for the LGBTQ community? Considering what could happen in the Masterpiece Cakeshop case and the high court’s refusal to grant cert in Pidgeon, it seems like it. It’s not as if this hasn’t happened before. ::coughBrownvBoardcough:: [New Republic]

* A federal judge ruled that an American ISIS suspect who’s been detained as a “enemy combatant” in Iraq for the last three months is, in fact, entitled to a lawyer, and called the Trump administration’s quest to deny counsel in this case “both remarkable and troubling.” [New York Times]

* Everything really is bigger in Texas: According to the ABA, there are just 0.8 percent more first-year law students this year than last year, but entering classes at law schools in the Lone Star State were 4 percent larger than they were last year. Hopefully all these students will be able to lasso themselves jobs. [Texas Lawyer]

* Lawsuits have been rolling out ever since Apple admitted that it was slowing down iPhones with older batteries, and one of them was filed by two students who currently attend USC Law and hope to get the suit certified as a class-action. This is an absolutely awesome use of winter break. [RT]

* Which states are likely to legalize marijuana in the new year? Vermont, New Jersey, and Michigan may soon end their prohibitions on cannabis, either through legislative means or by puff-puff-passing a voter referendum. [Forbes]

* If you’re a journalist with three years of experience and cover the legal profession in your reporting, consider applying to be a fellow at Loyola Law School’s annual Journalist Law School. There is no cost to attend. The application deadline is February 9, 2018. [Journalist Law School]

* Judge Thomas Griesa, the Southern District of New York jurist who oversaw the Argentine debt battle in federal court, RIP. [New York Law Journal]

Ed. note: In honor of Columbus Day (and Canadian Thanksgiving), Above the Law will be on a reduced publication schedule. We’ll be back in full force tomorrow.

* Justice Neil Gorsuch’s arrival as a member of the Supreme Court hasn’t been the most graceful, and word on the street is that some of his new colleagues on the bench may bear some ill will towards him. A rift might even be developing between Gorsuch and Chief Justice Roberts. [CNN]

* Because Gorsuch is the Supreme Court’s newest justice, he has to share his office with Leroy. He’s being hazed by Scalia from beyond the grave. [Associated Press]

* As part of its new legal strategy in special counsel Robert Mueller’s Russian election interference investigation, the Trump administration has decided to — gasp! — be cooperative. Trump’s lawyers think that maybe if they play nice, Mueller will publicly clear the president’s name a little more quickly, or at all. [New York Times]

* In other news, President Trump took to Twitter this weekend to invoke the Federal Communications Commission’s equal time rules because he’s sick and tired of “unfunny” late-night TV hosts making fun of him without an opportunity to respond in kind. Perhaps you ought to stick with Twitter, Mr. President. [Fox News]

* Much like what happened with Traci Ribeiro’s case against Sedgwick, Winston & Strawn is trying to push Constance Ramos, a partner who left the firm amid allegations of gender bias and discrimination, into arbitration. [Am Law Daily]

* Lisa Bloom has been criticized left and right for taking on Harvey Weinstein as a client. Even her own mother, Gloria Allred, objected. Because mother knows best, Bloom resigned as counsel. Lanny Davis has also left the producer’s legal team. Down two lawyers, Weinstein was fired from his own company. [New York Times]

* A Michigan judge recently awarded joint legal custody and parenting time to a rape victim’s attacker. The child involved in this case is an 8-year-old boy, and the fellow who sexually assaulted his mother also happens to be a convicted sex offender. According to the victim’s attorney, “[t]his is insane”; she’s not wrong. [Detroit News]

* “You’d think the least attractive school would charge the lowest price. What they’re doing is admitting students with relatively low LSAT scores, and charging them a high price for gambling on them.” According to this higher-ed market analyst, 10 to 15 law schools may close if student enrollment continues to shrink and tuition continues to rise. [ABA Journal]

* Attorneys working at the nation’s highest-grossing Biglaw firms are not only making money hand over fist right now, but they’re going to be quite well off come retirement time, too. The top 10 largest 401(k) plans in Biglaw each have more than $700 million in assets. Which firm came out on top? We may have more on this later. [Big Law Business]

* President-elect Trump’s campaign has filed an objection to Jill Stein’s “lawless, insulting request” for a recount in Michigan, commenting on her “tiny vote total” and noting “voters should not risk having the Electoral College door knocked off its hinges all because a 1% candidate is dissatisfied with the election’s outcome.” [USA Today]

* Just because women make up nearly half of all law school classes, it doesn’t mean they have the same job opportunities as their male classmates — and that’s likely because women are “clustered” at lower-ranked schools, meaning they “start at a disadvantage” when it comes to lifetime professional employment. [DealBook / New York Times]

* Come fall 2017, Seton Hall Law will be one of the only schools in the country and the only school in the New York metropolitan area to offer a part-time weekend program for working professionals. The degree is meant to be completed in four years. How much could eight weekends of class cost per semester? About $39,000… [Daily Record]