Michigan

Non-Sequiturs: 05.18.11

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* If the Supreme Court grants cert to the Winklevoss twins, it’ll be time to start paying more attention to this Mayan prophecy. [Legal Blog Watch]

* Michigan’s public defender system is one of the worst in the country. So are we to understand that Thomas M. Cooley Law School, the #2 law school in the country, can’t even produce quality public defenders? [ABA Journal]

* If you’re a student at Liberty Law and can’t figure out that “God’s law” trumps “man’s law” on the final exam, then you are really beyond salvation. [Religion Dispatches]

* So you think you can dance? Well you can’t! Not at the Jefferson Memorial. Mwahaha. [WSJ Law Blog]

* Prominent Skadden partner Sheila Birnbaum, known as the “Queen of Torts,” has been picked as the special mistress master who will administer the new $2.8 billion fund for sick Ground Zero workers. [Wall Street Journal; Main Justice]

* Learn to write like a Supreme Court justice — you know, one of those people who writes things that nobody bothers to read. [An Associate's Mind]

* The Tea Party isn’t that irresponsible, right? They’re going to raise the debt ceiling, right? Or is it time to take all my money and put it in my mattress? [Huffington Post]

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Shirvell Won’t Shrivel: Former Michigan Prosecutor Turns It Around on Chris Armstrong

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Andrew Shirvell (far right) and Chris Armstrong

Here’s a quick update on a past Lawsuit of the Day. Last month, Chris Armstrong, the openly gay ex-president of the University of Michigan student body, sued Andrew Shirvell, the former Michigan assistant attorney general and outspoken opponent of homosexuality. As you may recall, Shirvell criticized Armstrong in a blog called Chris Armstrong Watch, making allegations that according to Armstrong were false, and Shirvell also followed Armstrong around Ann Arbor. So Armstrong sued Shirvell for stalking, invasion of privacy, and defamation (among other claims).

Now Andrew Shirvell is firing back. Last week, Shirvell, proceeding pro se [FN1], moved to dismiss Chris Armstrong’s lawsuit.

Not surprisingly, Shirvell claimed in his motion to be a victim: “Plaintiff’s course of conduct was politically motivated and intended to make an example out of Defendant in order to deter others from criticizing Plaintiff’s homosexual activist agenda.” More specifically, Shirvell argued that certain counts of the Armstrong complaint fail to state claims upon which relief can be granted, that Shirvell’s criticism of Armstrong was protected by the First Amendment, and that Shirvell never had direct contact with Armstrong (e.g., by email or by phone).

In addition, Shirvell lodged some counterclaims against Armstrong. What is the basis for Shirvell suing Armstrong?

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Michigan Law Commencement Walkout

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What an awesome venue. They should try playing football there or something.

Well, Michigan Law Dean Evan Caminker got what he wanted: Ohio Senator Rob Portman addressed gradating 3Ls, at senior day. But conscientious members of the Michigan Law community didn’t have to stomach it if they didn’t want to. There was a walk-out during Portman’s speech, and some reports claim that over 100 students (out of 400) joined in.

Michigan students who support civil rights and marriage equality should feel proud. They’ve brought national attention to this issue. And they did so without “ruining” graduation for anybody else. There’s video of the walk-out up on Perez Hilton, and it doesn’t appear that the protesting Michigan students were unduly disruptive to those who wanted to hear Portman speak.

While it is sad to see the class split like this, perhaps the Michigan administration will invite a less divisive speaker next year. Given the position Michigan Law put its LGBT community in, I’m not sure how this could have turned out much better…

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Closing the Loop on Michigan: Rob Portman Is Speaking, But I Bet This Won’t Happen Again

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Michigan Law Dean Evan Caminker has issued what appears to be his final decision about the Rob Portman fiasco. The Dean has listened to all the relevant constituencies and decided that pulling Rob Portman might cause more long term harm. And so Portman is going to be allowed to speak. Dean Caminker announced this in a letter to concerned Michigan Law alumni.

Maybe Dean Caminker is right. I mean, look at what’s happening with King & Spalding. And, to my mind, a big Senior Day protest involving LGBT and straight students at Michigan Law will really show the community just how many people support the cause of equal human rights. So some good may still come out of all of this.

But perhaps the most important thing that has happened here is that Michigan Law and Dean Caminker have learned a lesson about just how far outside the mainstream the anti-marriage-equality people have strayed. This issue seems to have moved beyond our normal partisan debates about debt ceilings and which sovereign nation we should be meddling in this week. This issue is starting to transcend, and I bet Michigan will remember that next year….

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Dean Caminker Digs In To Support Anti-Gay-Marriage Commencement Speaker At Michigan Law

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We told you yesterday that Michigan Law has decided to invite Sen. Rob Portman (R-OH) to speak to its 3L class for senior day. We told you that many Michigan Law students have objected to the choice of Senator Portman, because of his strong anti-gay rhetoric on the issue of gay marriage.

We told you that Michigan Law Dean Evan Caminker — the hottest law school dean in America, by the way — didn’t respond to our request for comment. We wondered, though, if he would dig in his heels against the LGBT community at his school, or if he would try to be sensitive to the concerns of minorities at his school who would like to enjoy basic civil rights.

Well, Dean Caminker decided to dig in, and in so doing kind of totally missed the point…

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Michigan Law School Invites Ohio Senator With ‘Anti-Gay Politics’ To Speak At Senior Day

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What’s more strange about that headline? That Michigan Law would invite a guy who stands against the civil rights of certain members of the Michigan Law community, or that Michigan Law would invite a representative from Ohio to speak to its outgoing students?

I’m going with the latter. Rob Portman graduated from the University of Michigan Law School in 1984, but he has gone on to become the junior senator from Ohio. Ohio! In related news, Bo Schembechler was born in Ohio and went to college at Miami of Ohio, but I don’t think he was ever the keynote speaker during an Ohio athletics Hall of Fame ceremony.

Sadly, the fact that Michigan invited a guy who has taken a strong stance against the civil rights of gay people probably isn’t that out of the ordinary. Sure, at some point these anti-gay-marriage people will look as tolerant as pre-conversion George Wallace in front of a desegregated schoolhouse. But right now these enemies of love get to walk among us as regular people.

Guys at my high school used to have ignorant and flawed views about gay people all the time. It was no big deal.

But some students at Michigan Law are trying to make it a big deal. And that’s pretty exciting….

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Lawsuit of the Day: Chris Armstrong v. Andrew Shirvell

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Former Michigan prosecutor Andrew Shirvell might be gone from the Michigan attorney general’s office, but he has not been forgotten. Shirvell, an outspoken opponent of homosexuality, has just been hit with a lawsuit — by Chris Armstrong, the ex-president of the University of Michigan student body.

Armstrong is suing Shirvell in Michigan state court for stalking, invasion of privacy, intentional infliction of emotional distress, defamation, and abuse of process. His lawsuit seeks more than $25,000 in compensatory damages, as well as punitive damages and injunctive relief (to enjoin Shirvell from, well, being such a creep).

As you may recall, Shirvell seemed obsessed with the young, beauteous, and openly gay Armstrong, devoting an entire blog to criticism of Armstrong and following Armstrong around, day and night. As explained by Armstrong’s lawyer, Deborah Gordon, Shirvell demonstrated a “bizarre personal obsession” with Armstrong, reflected in numerous blog and Facebook postings in which Shirvell asserted that Armstrong was advancing a “radical homosexual agenda.” [FN1]

Let’s take a closer look at the complaint….

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Morning Docket: 03.30.11

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Jay Z (aka Shawn Corey Carter)

* A Libyan woman is being sued for slander over her rape allegations. Is this how the Libyan militiamen serve and protect their country? [Boston Globe]

* Call this one a learning experience. Pictures of things we now know we can’t post on Facebook: placentas, dead girls. [CNN Justice]

* Jay-Z is down to 98 problems, and that bitch Big Papi ain’t one. [New York Daily News]

* Are your tiny balls a matter of public record? Jason Giambi’s are after testifying at the Barry Bonds trial. [Bloomberg]

* Law firms will now receive a gold star if their women are making it rain. Guess my firm is out, I’m only making it hail. [National Law Journal]

* Michigan’s Attorney General, Bill Schuette, is suing a clinic offering non-peer abortions. [Chicago Tribune]

* Protip: if you’re going to pistol-whip your mom until she buys you a car, at least force her to buy you a new one. [ABA Journal]

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Law License Plates: Legalese (and More School Spirit)

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We continue our series on law-related license plates that are interesting or amusing. We’re still taking submissions, for a contest we will eventually hold; please submit your pictures via email (subject line: “Vanity License Plate”).

One way of communicating your status as an attorney to your fellow motorists is by dropping some mad legal knowledge — you know, a little legalese.

Check out this next license plate….

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Do Michigan Law Men Have Thin, Saggy Skins?

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You have to hand it to the University of Michigan Law School. They always keep it interesting in Ann Arbor.

Today’s tale of wacky wolverines arises out of the law school’s “Mr. Wolverine” beauty pageant. Yeah, it sounds like exactly what it is. It’s a nice little event where Michigan men “dress down” for the amusement of their peers, with proceeds going to charity.

You’d like to think that a law school could pull one of these things off without turmoil, but this is Michigan. After the event, the student newspaper, Res Gestae, ran a review of the pageant authored by Chaka Laguerre. Laguerre is a Michigan Law student and a former Miss Jamaica World.

Laguerre’s review was a little bit snarky. And for reasons passing understanding, people got so pissed about it that the paper took the review down, and the Michigan listserv went nuts.

You’ve gotta love Michigan….

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