Microsuede is never okay

Fashion don'ts

Last week the Chicago Bar Association held a What Not To Wear Fashion Show [PDF]. The announcement for the event essentially promised a Project Runway for law students, with “guest judges and fashion industry experts” to critique law students selections for “professional attire.”

We imagined 1L women teetering down the walkway in Victoria’s Secret skirt suits and hooker heels, and 2L men sporting scruff and pinstripes, and the judges snarkily lecturing them on proper Esquire attire.

So we rounded up two legal bloggers in the Chicago area and asked them to attend and report back. We sent Legally Fabulous — a 3L who “often dies a little on the inside at the things she sees her classmates wearing for interviews” — and Attractive Nuisance, a Chicago associate who writes for ExitStrategy.

Attractive Nuisance called the event “How To Dress Like A Lawyer As Told By Some Women Haters, Old Men And Random Law Students.” Legally Fabulous was most impressed by the advice from Professor Maureen Collins of John Marshall Law School:

[She] had some of the best quotes of the night, including:

  • “The interview world is no place for a cheap, ugly tie.”
  • “I shouldn’t know anything about your underwear… bra straps are meant to be hidden”
  • “Khakis were invented for men who can’t match clothes”
  • “Maybe you bought your suit at Express or somewhere… and you bent over to get a Danish and I can see your tramp stamp.”

It’s hard for us to imagine a law professor uttering the words tramp stamp — a derogatory term for a tattoo on a woman’s mid-lower back. But after hearing Clarence Thomas say “TTT,” we suppose anything is possible.

After high school, one should throw out all clothes purchased at Express. Other tips for the fashion clueless, after the jump.

double red triangle arrows Continue reading “Fashion Dos and Don’ts From the Windy City
(If you have a tramp stamp, it may already be too late)