What job is so bad it has me questioning my very faith in humanity?
We at Kinney are running the search for a fantastic in-house opening in Singapore, at the leading and largest tech company in Southeast Asia. The spot will be filled by a US associate with at least three years experience in M&A, from a top Wall Street or equivalent US firm. Compensation will be competitive with what the new hire is earning at their top tier law firm.
Shocking new low for document reviewers — barely more than minimum wage.
* Earlier this week, Verizon faced off against the Federal Communications Commission in a net neutrality battle royal before the D.C. Circuit. Next time, make FiOS work before trying to get a do-over on the way the internet runs. [New York Times]
* “I see my job as an air traffic controller. And I see an unending line of airplanes.” Federal judges are buckling under the heavy weight of their caseloads, and from the sound of it, they’re not at all happy about the situation. [National Law Journal (sub. req.)]
* Which Biglaw firms strike the most fear into the hearts of their opponents when it comes to litigation? One firm got the boot from last year’s list, and we’ll have more on this later today. [Law360 (sub. req.)]
* Duane Morris is the first U.S. firm to open an office in Myanmar on some prime real estate. Be jealous of their associates as they bask in the splendor of its beautiful architecture. [Philadelphia Business Journal]
* A trio of Quinn Emanuel partners, including John Quinn himself, teamed up to open a high-class sushi joint in L.A. If he waits tables, he’ll definitely need someone to break a hundred. [Am Law Daily (sub. req.)]
* The Sixth Circuit affirmed the dismissal of a former student’s suit against Thomas M. Cooley Law School, and now he’ll have to live with shame for all eternity after being branded a cheater. [Law360 (sub. req.)]
* Strippers aren’t independent contractors, they’re employees entitled to minimum wage, says a judge. Taking off their clothes for only $7.25 an hour will do wonders for their self-esteem. [New York Daily News]
* Lady Gaga is being taken to trial over the wage-and-hour lawsuit filed by her former personal assistant. We wonder if the pop star will be as foul-mouthed on the stand as she was in her deposition. [ABC News]
How little are you worth? A Chicago firm hopes you think poorly of yourself…
* Dewey know how insolvency laws work in Dubai? The failed firm’s partners in the United Arab Emirates have filed for creditor protection in the hopes of receiving end-of-service payments. [The National]
* “This is your fault.” “Uh, no, this is all your fault.” “I’m going to sue you.” “Not if I sue you first.” Florida and the DOJ got into a good old fashioned slap fight yesterday over the purging of the state’s voter rolls. [Reuters]
* And now for your morning dose of nasty ass sexual abuse allegations. The testimony in the Jerry Sandusky case will continue today, with more lurid accounts from the former football coach’s accusers. [Bloomberg]
* Is this what it’s come to in the legal profession? Are people really so desperate for work that they’re willing to apply in droves for a job that pays less than minimum wage? By all accounts, it sure looks like it. [ABA Journal]
* Tips for parents of law school applicants? Screw that, ours are better: 1) tell your kid to read ATL; 2) smack your kid in the face if he still wants to apply; 3) repeat if necessary. [Law Admissions Lowdown / U.S. News]
* A female security official for the NBA who happens to be a law school graduate is suing for employment discrimination. And no one cares about women’s basketball any more than they did before. [New York Times]
Boston College Law School defends a law job with a salary below minimum wage…
1st Circuit, Attorney Misconduct, Bankruptcy, Biglaw, Copyright, Defamation, Dewey & LeBoeuf, Facebook, Gay, Google / Search Engines, Job Searches, Law Schools, Legal Ethics, Masturbation, Milberg Weiss, Morning Docket, Partner Issues, Video games
* Dewey retired partners with unfunded pensions get a seat at the table for this bankruptcy circus? Yeah, but only because the U.S. Trustee did something unheard of and appointed a committee of former partners as creditors. [WSJ Law Blog]
* Yesterday was definitely a great day to be gay on the east coast. In addition to the First Circuit’s DOMA decision, a New York appellate court ruled that being called gay is no longer defamatory per se. [New York Law Journal]
* Milberg is the latest firm to dump Paul Ceglia of Facebook lawsuit fame, but Dean Boland, his other lawyer, says the Biglaw firm just “serve[d] as a distraction.” Somebody please give this man a dislike button. [Buffalo News]
* Humblebrag of the day by Judge Alsup of Oracle v. Google fame: he’s written lines of code “a hundred times before.” He also squashed Oracle’s API copyright infringement claims like bugs. [Courthouse News Service]
* Remember Kimberly Ireland, the Kansas attorney who falsely accused Judge Kevin Moriarty of waxing his gavel beneath the bench? She got a retroactive two-year suspension. [ABA Journal via Legal Profession Blog]
* Elizabeth Warren has confirmed that she told Harvard Law and Penn Law that she was a Native American, but only after she had been hired. She didn’t get any action of the affirmative variety, no sir. [Associated Press]
* Recent law school graduates are a little more desperate than we thought they were. At least 32 people have already applied for that BC Law job advertising a salary below minimum wage. [Boston Business Journal]
* Activision settled a lawsuit with two Call of Duty developers, but isn’t worried about an effect on its financials due to a strong third quarter performance. And you can thank your damn Elite packages for that. [PCMag]
On Thursday, April 23rd, Above the Law will be coming to the great city of Chicago. Local lawyers are cordially invited to join the entire ATL editorial team for a casual gathering from 6 to 8 p.m. at an undisclosed (yet stylish) watering hole in Chicago. Sign up and we’ll keep you in the Loop.
Come on out for some conversation, food, drink, and networking-type shenanigans. Did we mention free drinks? The event is sponsored by our friends at Kinney Recruiting.
Wouldn’t it be nice if law school meant you could at least earn minimum wage…