Morning Docket

* Alex Kozinski, formerly of the Ninth Circuit, disappeared into the shadows after retiring in the wake of sexual harassment allegations. Less than seven months later, he’s back in the public eye, and three of his accussers, all lawyers, are none too pleased. [New York Times]

* In news that should shock absolutely no one, an attorney who was caught on tape insulting his paralegal on more than 30 occasions — where he was seen referring to her a “dirtbag” and a “ho” — has been suspended from practice for one year with six months stayed. [New York Post]

* Nelson Mullins recently finalized its merger with Broad and Cassel to create a “super-regional” firm. The new firm will have 25 offices, more than 750 attorneys, and a combined revenue of over $500 million. [American Lawyer]

* In other law firm merger news, Fox Rothschild has confirmed that it’s in talks with North Carolina firm Smith Moore Leatherwood. Mark Silow, the firm’s chairman, cautioned that nothing has been finalized yet. [Philadelphia Business Journal]

* Remember Dana Tapper, the UVA Law grad who won money to repay her law school debt on the Ellen DeGeneres Show? She was just sentenced to 20 years in prison (with all but three months suspended) after smuggling drugs and a cellphone in to an inmate serving time for murder. [Richmond Times-Dispatch]

* On the cusp of college football preseason camps, Ohio State suspends coach Urban Meyer amidst revelations that he knew of and covered up an assistant coach’s systematic domestic violence for years. [ESPN]

* Trump fighting his lawyers over Mueller meeting. If he’s really serious, he should fire all of his lawyers and do the interview unrepresented. That’s exactly what you should do, Mr. President. [Huffington Post]

* And while people concentrate on Trump’s public spat, police have arrested an immigration detention center employee for molesting children separated from their parents because of this administration’s policy. QAnon needs to help me figure out how this is all part of Trump’s master plan to end child sex abuse. [NY Post]

* Good news: law grad hiring is way up. Bad news: the growth is mostly in Biglaw hiring so if you’re letting this news convince you to take a chance on going to your local Tier 3 school… don’t. [Law.com]

* Senator Mike Lee has joined the liberals in asking nominees if they support Brown v. Board. [Law360]

* Mueller referred a criminal inquiry into former Skadden counsel and former White House Counsel Greg Craig to the SDNY. Above the Law first reported Craig’s mysterious departure from the firm’s website. [CNN]

* CBS is bringing in both Covington & Burling and Debevoise to investigate sexual harassment allegations against Les Moonves. [WSJ]

* In an absolute shocker, Texas is illegally keeping high schoolers off the voter rolls. [Texas Observer]

* Meanwhile, in Michigan the state’s laughably gerrymandered districts are facing another date with the Sixth Circuit. [Courthouse News Service]

* President Donald Trump may be putting an “indelible conservative stamp” on the judiciary, but really, it’s Senator Mitch McConnell who’s been responsible for pushing these controversial candidates through just because “it’s the longest-term sort of impact we can have on the future of the country.” [New York Times]

* MAGA hat in the streets, reaonable human being in the sheets? Supreme Court nominee Judge Brett Kavanaugh has privately told senators that he thinks Robert Mueller’s appointment as special counsel in the Russia probe is “appropriate.” [CNN]

* The ABA is planning to disband its law school accreditation and standards review committees to save some money. Don’t worry, all of those duties will be assumed by the Council of the Section of Legal Education and Admissions to the Bar. [Law.com]

* “Why am I still here?” Women are heading for the exits at Ogletree Deakins in the wake of the $300M gender bias suit that was filed against the firm. FWIW, Ogletree was just named as one of the 60 best law firms for women. [American Lawyer]

* Getting out while the getting is good: Don LeDuc, Cooley Law’s longtime president and dean, will be retiring soon. He’s being replaced on an interim basis by former Michigan Circuit Court Judge Jeffrey Martlew. [Lansing State Journal]

* Children’s lawsuit over climate change moves forward. [Courthouse News Service]

* If you’re an armed terrorist organization, AstraZeneca may be able to help. [Corporate Counsel]

* In “dog bites man” news, profitable partners accused of sexual harassment can easily get new jobs. [Wall Street Journal]

* “We’ll Get You And Mangle You” takes on new meaning as Weil holds attorney to a six month waiting period before he can lateral to Kirkland. [American Lawyer]

* Maybe cyberinsurance isn’t really insurance at all. [Slate]

* North Carolina awards man $8.8 million because his wife doesn’t love him anymore. Apparently being a loser can be profitable. [KCRA]

* Cleary’s in-house outsourcing company slapped with another sexual harassment suit. [Law360]

* A conversation with Michele Coleman Mayes, general counsel for the New York Public Library and former GC at Allstate and at Pitney Bowes about the persistent bias against black women lawyers. [Law.com]

* Vice President Mike Pence says he’s “confident” that Judge Brett Kavanaugh will be confirmed to the Supreme Court “before the fall is out” — and he’s probably correct about that. [FOX Business]

* In other news related to the high court, Justice Ruth Bader Ginsburg says she’s got “at least five more years” on the Supreme Court before she’ll think about stepping down. As always, RBG continues to remain NO-NO-NO-NOTORIOUS! [CNN]

* According to one of President Trump’s former lawyers, Rudy Giuliani has weakened the case against Michael Cohen by flip-flopping on the man’s credibility, referring to him as an “an honest, honorable lawyer” and later as a “pathological liar.” [CNN]

* Just in case you forgot, not only did Michael Cohen go to the “worst law school in the country,” but “[h]e’s bitter Trump didn’t give him a job.” [Page Six / New York Post]

* Former Alabama Supreme Court Chief Justice Roy Moore has filed a “political conspiracy” lawsuit over his failed bid for the U.S. Senate seat that was left vacant by AG Jeff Sessions, claiming that false advertisements were behind his loss. [Newsweek]

* Last week, Facebook lost more than $100 billion in value, the biggest single-day loss in stock market history. Shareholders have responded in the most obvious way possible, with a proposed class-action lawsuit. [New York Law Journal]

* After its unexpected closure, Savannah Law School will soon find new life — as an art school. The Savannah College of Art and Design purchased the law school building from Atlanta’s John Marshall Law for a cool $27.5 million. [Savannah Morning News]

* Papa John has filed suit against his former company in a bid to protect his legacy as America’s foremost “racist guy who makes bad pizza.” [Wall Street Journal]

* While everyone prattles on about Trump’s tapes, the government just blew another deadline to reunite the children they kidnapped with their parents. [Courthouse News Service]

* Troubled law school Arizona Summit trying to get ASU to take its students if or when it loses accreditation. By the way, if you want to hear an in-depth discussion about the problems with Arizona Summit and its sibling schools, check out this. [AZ Central]

* Speaking of independent law schools, the landscape for these programs — for-profit or not — is getting harder. [Law.com]

* Lawsuit seeking to desegregate Minneapolis schools is moving forward. [MinnPost]

* Government argues that Evan Greebel deserves 5 years for his role in aiding Shkreli. [Law360]

* Former Biglaw associate accused of ripping off Harlem church. [New York Law Journal]

* ARTICLES OF IMPEACHMENT FILED! Against Rod Rosenstein. Alternative headline: In stunning turn, Rep. Jim Jordan demands accountability as long as it’s not for years of systematic sexual abuse. [Huffington Post]

* That Shook Hardy attorney who argued that a woman got pregnant in a diabolical nine-month scheme to delay trial? Yeah, he’s been suspended. [Daily Business Review]

* The Fifth Circuit’s James Ho isn’t so much a judge as a political hack in a robe. That Orin Kerr Tweet from April was just the canary in the mine. [NPR]

* Facebook GC Colin Stretch will pursue his lifelong passion of becoming the moderator of the Facebook Alumni Facebook Group. [Corporate Counsel]

* Trump’s ethics expert will also be leaving the job that he’s ostensibly been performing. [The Hill]

* Shareholder class actions are on the upswing this year. Gather ye rosebuds while ye don’t have Judge Kavanaugh declaring Rule 23 a First Amendment violation. [National Law Journal]

* Roy Moore sues PAC over negative campaign ads. Discovery should be fun. [Courthouse News Service]

* Larry Nassar wants a new sentencing hearing. See, this is what happens when judges grandstand and rip up letters to advance their political career — they just give these guys an in to try and futz with the sentence. [ESPN]

* Lanny Davis, lawyer to Michael Cohen, was instrumental in leaking the Trump/McDougal tape to CNN last night. It’s now official: Cohen has turned on Donald Trump. Listen to it here. [CNN]

* Michael Avenatti, lawyer to porn actress Stormy Daniels, says he’s interested in discussing a settlement with Michael Cohen about his client’s “hush agreement” to keep quiet about her 2006 affair with Trump. Avenatti says a meeting was scheduled, then canceled by Cohen’s other lawyer, and now they’re calling each other liars. This is all par for the course. [CNN]

* A split three-judge panel of the Ninth Circuit has ruled that the Second Amendment allows the open carrying of guns in public. This comes two years after the court ruled that the Second Amendment did not allow the concealed carrying of guns in public. You can expect this to be appealed to the Ninth Circuit en banc. [Associated Press]

* Dentons has come out swinging with denials against a sexual harassment case that was filed by a business development specialist last month, claiming that not only is the suit without merit, but that it also “misappropriates” the #MeToo movement. We’ll have more on thisinteresting development later today. [American Lawyer]

* If you live in a two-lawyer household, should you be sharing client secrets? The Ohio Supreme Court is about to answer that question for us, since there’s apparently no case on the books about anything remotely like this. [Big Law Business]

* If you’re thinking about applying to law school ahead of a career in politics, then you may have to work a little harder to — wait, nevermind, you can go to pretty much any law school since having a J.D. seems to be the gateway to government. [U.S. News]

* It’s the first day of the bar exam in a number of jurisdictions. These young lawyers have suggestions for your last month of freedom. [Young Lawyers Advisory Board]

* Jeff Sessions is withholding funding from local law enforcement. Just the latest example of Dummy the House Elf’s curious interpretation of being “tough on crime.” [NJ.com]

* Now Trump will meet with Mueller? Oh, he’ll talk to Mueller about anything but obstruction. So I guess they could discuss the weather. [Time]

* Stormy Daniels is getting a divorce. [NY Times]

* After a dicey back and forth with the ABA, NCCU has retained its accreditation. [News & Observer]

* The EU keeps fining American companies. American companies keep right on monopolizin’. [The Economist]

* Jonathan Turley goes all “get off my lawn” about Millennials and free speech. Magistrate Judge James Donohue points out that Millennials might appreciate free speech more if they had any reason to believe people like Turley weren’t trying to turn it into a pay-to-play right. [Courthouse News Service]

* As it turns out, this Supreme Court gig was Judge Brett Kavanaugh’s from the start. According to a Senate Judiciary Committee questionnaire released this past weekend, the judge received a call from the White House within hours of Justice Anthony Kennedy’s retirement announcement being made public. [National Law Journal]

* But hey, at least law students say that Judge Kavanaugh has “great hair!” — and the Trump team thinks this is a very important fact that the American public ought to know, so it’s been republished on the White House website. [New York Times; TIME]

* Per President Trump, taping client conversations is “inconceivable,” “totally unheard of,” and “perhaps illegal,” but his legal team decided to waive attorney-client privilege on the secret recording made by his former lawyer Michael Cohen with regard to possible payments to a Playboy model Karen anyway. [CBS News]

* Matthew Bresette, a T&E attorney who formerly served as the managing partner of Nutter McClellan’s Hyannis, Massachusetts, office, recently resigned after being temporarily suspended from practicing law following his misappropriation of funds from the firm and funds from his clients’ trusts. [American Lawyer]

* Fordham Law School has helped one of its incoming students invoke the anger of an entire country. In announcing that Kei Komuro, who is engaged to Princess Mako of Japan, would be attending the school, he was referred to as her fiancé, even though their “betrothal ceremony has not yet been held.” People are MAD! [New York Times]

* What will happen if SCOTUS were to overturn Roe v. Wade? For one, abortion wouldn’t automatically become illegal across America — that would be up to each individual state. In fact, some states have “trigger laws” ready to go to ban abortion if Roe is ever overturned. Hopefully this won’t happen any time soon, or ever. [BuzzFeed]

* The University of Illinois at Chicago is moving forward with its planned merger with John Marshall Law School to to establish the UI Chicago John Marshall College of Law. Dean Vikram Amar of Illinois Law wants to make very sure that everyone knows this is “not a joint enterprise in any way.” [News-Gazette; Chicago Tribune]

* Bless their hearts, but it looks like Winstead won’t be taking Troutman Sanders to the rodeo after all. According to inside sources, this Texas-sized merger was simply not meant to be due to billing rates and preferred clientele. [Texas Lawyer]

* All rise for new royalty at Dechert, for Sheila L. Birnbaum, the “Queen of Torts” is here! Her Majesty left Quinn Emanuel and brought 28 other lawyers and staff with her to form a product liability and mass torts team at the firm. [Big Law Business]

* The White House has named Steven Dillingham as its nominee to direct the U.S. Census Bureau. In case you weren’t aware, Dillingham has a law degree from the University of South Carolina. No word yet on whether he’s still practicing. [NPR]

* Papa John has hired Harvey Weinstein’s lawyer, who’s rapidly establishing herself as the gold standard of representing powerful dirtbags. You could say she’s the Domino’s of that market. [Courier-Journal]

* City officials will investigate whether the Stormy Daniels arrest — on a law that is never enforced — was a politically motivated hit job. I assume this will require investigators to spend hours undercover in strip clubs at taxpayer expense. [NBC4]

* A deep dive into Judge Collyer’s recent opinion contending for the first time that American citizens have a right to at least be heard before being executed by drone. When this case gets snuffed out on appeal, the resulting precedent is going to justify all sorts of executive mischief. [Rolling Stone]

* Breaking down Vermont Law’s decision to fire tenured faculty — a sign of things to come? [Forbes]

* With co-counsel settling, Sidley’s finding itself a little lonelier in the Aequitas suit alleging that it contributed to a Ponzi-scheme. [American Lawyer]

* Wondering how much artificial intelligence talk you can deal with? There are nine legal tech conferences over the next few months. Including ILTACON in National Harbor where we’re hosting an Above the Law happy hour/bar trivia extravaganza… so if you’re around, come on by. [Legaltech News]

* Fox Rothschild looking into a hefty merger in the Carolinas. [Legal Intelligencer]

* This isn’t really a shocker, but lawmakers don’t understand technology, free speech. [Wired]

* Special counsel Robert Mueller is seeking immunity for up to five witnesses who are set to testify in Paul Manafort’s upcoming bank and tax fraud trial. Oooh, who are these mystery parties and why do they deserve amnesty? [USA Today]

* Just how conservative is Judge Brett Kavanaugh? Using Judicial Common Space scores, Kavanaugh lands “just to the left of the arch-conservative [Justice Clarence] Thomas.” Yay. [FiveThirtyEight]

* Be careful out there, small firms. According to a report from the Association of International Law Firm Networks, it’s not Biglaw firms that should be afraid of the Big Four, but instead, independent firms in mid-sized markets. [American Lawyer]

* Remember Evan Greebel, the ex-Biglaw partner who was convicted of conspiracy to commit wire and securities fraud thanks to his representation of pharma bro Martin Shkreli? Per his colleagues, after his “terrible encounter with the devil incarnate,” Greebel shouldn’t get jail time like his former client. [New York Law Journal]

* When it comes to law school applications, it’s very helpful to know the difference between early decision (binding) and early action (nonbinding), but it’s even more helpful to know the difference between out-of-state tuition (drowning in loans) and in-state tuition (treading water in loans). Do your research, applicants! [U.S. News]

* Robert Traurig, co-founder of Greenberg Traurig, RIP. [Daily Business Review]

* Michael Cohen is publicly attacking Trump over being a Russian stooge. So much for earning a pardon. [NY Daily News]

* Speaking of Cohen, his adversary Michael Avenatti is now fighting for immigrant kids. I guess hating Trump makes strange bedfellows. [Daily Beast]

* Hogan Lovells is tasked with saving Papa John’s in the post-Papa John world. But can they make that awful stuff edible? [American Lawyer]

* Kushner family under investigation for harassing tenants hardly surprising anyone. [Law360]

* Tesla’s stock takes a hit as the guy Elon Musk randomly called a pedophile threatens to sue. [CNBC]

* The Brexit campaign succeeded by breaking election law. A massively disastrous electoral result brought on by improper electoral meddling? Welcome to the club. [TechCrunch]

* Town finally gets rid of its Footloose law. Spoiler alert: the town is in the South. [Allentown Morning Call]

* A White House spokeswoman claims that Judge Brett Kavanaugh “had never heard any allegations of sexual misconduct or sexual harassment” made against Judge Alex Kozinski prior to last year when everyone else found out, and an extern who worked in Kozinski’s chambers while Kavanaugh clerked is backing him up. [Washington Times]

* The art of the deal don’t: United Kingdom Prime Minister Theresa May says that President Trump told her she should sue the European Union instead of negotiating when it comes to Brexit options. There’s no real cause of action, so she says that won’t be happening — not like that’s something that has ever stopped Trump before. [Vox]

* President Trump leaned heavily on Biglaw partners for his latest nominations to the federal judicary. Perkins Coie, K&L Gates, and Barnes & Thornburg could soon see representation on the Ninth Circuit, the Western District of Washington, the Western District of Pennsylvania, and the Northern District of Indiana. [The Recorder]

* After months of debate, a panel has finally recommended that Florida State rename the law school building via legislative action. It currently recognizes former Florida Supreme Court Chief Justice B.K. Roberts., a ” staunch segregationist” who once tried to deny a black student’s admission to U. Florida’s law school. [Tallahassee Democrat]

* “For better or worse, I have become an agent for hope for those that are opposing this president.” Michael Avenatti is famous for being President Trump’s biggest critic, but he’s “using that platform for good.” In addition to Stormy Daniels, he now represents parents whose children were separated from them at the border. [AP]

* Roy Moore threatens to sue Showtime because he’s one of the few people left on the planet that can’t recognize Sacha Baron Cohen. [Variety]

* Apparently, the court frowns upon handjobs in their conference rooms. [Columbus Dispatch]

* The Daily Journal published some thoughts on Justice Kennedy’s retirement from Alex Kozinski, reminding everyone again about that Kozinski-Kavanaugh connection. [Slate]

* Law firm leaders are optimistic that they’re about to see some growth in demand despite years and years of evidence to the contrary. [American Lawyer]

* Opioid dealers incensed that they may have to pay some sort of penalty for all that “human misery.” [New York Law Journal]

* Washington’s AG announces agreement ending fast food non-compete policies for their workers. Yes… fast food restaurants have “non-compete” agreements. [Seattle Times]

* Hackers are selling access to law firms for $3500 which isn’t a new phenomenon. [CNBC]

* Brett Kavanaugh built up around $200K in debt buying Washington Nationals tickets. This may be the Federalist Society’s biggest vetting failure ever because all real conservative jurists would say they went $200K in debt buying Montreal Expos tickets. [Deadspin]

* Ohio pulls obscure law out of a hat to harass Stormy Daniels for daring to point out that Donald Trump is a scumbag. [NY Times]

* “Jesus never broke immigration law” says Evangelical Trumper whose religion is entirely based on a guy admitting he was an outlaw and getting the death penalty for it. [Vox]

* Just when you were getting used to WestlawNext, WestlawEdge is here to radically change the game. [LegaltechNews]

* Texas professors who don’t want to die will take their case to the Fifth Circuit. [CBS News]

* Lawyer says Shady orchestrated the assault on his ex. [Denver Post]

* Trump pardoned the thugs who put the lives of firefighters in danger and then inspired an armed standoff with federal officers and then Mike Pence’s buddy gave them a private jet home. [Oregon Live]

* “We never once saw him take a shortcut, treat a case as unimportant, or search for an easy answer.” According to 34 of Judge Brett Kavanaugh’s former clerks, the man is apparently not just a judge, but also a saint, and they wanted the Senate Judiciary Committee to know all of the details. [National Law Journal]

* Nice guys get confirmed fast? More on Judge Kavanaugh’s sainthood. The man coaches not one, but two girls’ basketball teams, he’s a superb “carpool dad,” and he takes a family friend’s daughter whose father died to the school’s annual father-daughter dance each and every year. He’s just so nice! [Washington Post]

* Damn, it’s not just Arizona Summit’s graduates who can’t practice law in Arizona. Three lawyers from Kirkland & Ellis — including Paul Clement, Viet Dinh, and Christopher Bartolomucci — were booted from the school’s case against the ABA for failing to comply with out-of-state attorney admission procedures. [Law360]

* Acording to the Boston Larger Law Firm Managing Partner Group, “much work needs to be done” when it comes to attorneys who have experienced inappropriate sexual behavior at work. Per a recent study, 60 percent of respondents had either received messages of a personal or sexual nature, been touched inappropriately, or witnessed a coworker being touched inappropriately. [Boston Business Journal]

* Lawyerly Lairs: Convicted Murderer Edition. The 80-acre ranch of Claud “Tex” McIver, the former Fisher Phillips partner who shot his wife in the back, is now on the auction block, and there’s a dispute over who will receive the proceeds. [Daily Report]

* A quick primer on the key Judge Kavanaugh opinions to understand before this grueling process gets underway. [Law360]

* Dianne Feinstein hiring MoFo to vet Brett Kavanaugh. [The Recorder]

* After briefly flirting with looking outside the two schools, the Supreme Court will remain exclusively for people who attended either Yale or Harvard (including Justice Ginsburg, who transferred from Harvard). [Washington Post]

* Uber brings in top Justice Department attorney. [Wall Street Journal]

* Harvey Weinstein spared fate of living on Riker’s Island after judge lets him out on bail. Just like any random person accused of raping three women would be! [Mercury News]

* The Young Lawyer Editorial Board scolds profession for slow progress on diversity. This drive has to start somewhere and it may as well be at the firms since it’s increasingly clear that the law schools don’t have the courage to do it. [American Lawyer]

* Ty Cobb going to scum punk shows now. I have no joke for this. [The Hill]

* According to Senator Mitch McConnell, Judges Raymond Kethledge and Thomas Hardiman would be the easiest to confirm, so he’s been trying to steer President Trump into choosing one of them to replace Justice Kennedy. On Saturday, the president was still undecided on his pick. Stay tuned for more… [New York Times]

* On Sunday, President Trump still hadn’t picked a judge to replace Justice Kennedy on the Supreme Court, but said he was “very close to making a decision.” At this point, we only know that the president has seemingly “los[t] much of his interest in” Judge Kethledge. Tune in tonight for his pick. Who will get his final SCOTUS rose?! [CNN]

* Despite the DOJ’s request for an extension on a deadline to reunite families that were separated at the border, Judge Dana Sabraw said the deadline must be complied with “unless there is an articulable reason.” Apparently “safety” is a concern now, but this would’ve been much easier if children hadn’t been lost in the system. [The Hill]

* In case you missed it, Judge Lynn Hughes of the Southern District of Texas, who is often the benchslapper, once more became the benchslappee when the Fifth Circuit called him out for allegedly making sexist remarks on the bench. [Texas Lawyer]

* Remember Keila Ravelo, the partner who allegedly bilked Hunton & Williams and Willkie Farr out of $7.8 million to lead a life of luxury? Following her November guilty plea on felony charges, she was recently disbarred. [American Lawyer]