* The S.E.C. is being attacked again about its ethical standards. It’s not like these problems started with Cam Newton. I mean, the S.E… what’s that? The Securities and Exchange Commission? What? No, I don’t even know what that is. What does that have to do with football? [New York Times]
* Horrifying syphilis experiments keep coming back to haunt the United States government. That’s so syphilis. [Charlotte Observer]
* Illinois Governor Pat Quinn is expected to sign legislation today ending capital punishment. I couldn’t think of a joke here, but this cat thinks it’s a frog. [Chicago Tribune]
* A judge helped cut an attorney out of his father’s will and claimed he was still able to act impartially on a case the attorney was handling. That sh*t-eating grin on the judge’s face every time the attorney spoke? Oh, that was just a joke he remembered. [WSJ Law Blog]
* Yesterday, the Supreme Court agreed to decide whether Congress may take works out of the public domain and slap a copyright on them. I’m never going to fill this Zune up if I can’t score some free Stravinsky. [Wired News]
* Several states are considering laws that would make it more difficult for college students and others to vote. College students fire back that they’re not going to take this lying down. But they’re going to get a little high first. [Washington Post]
* Judge Roger Vinson issued a seven day stay on his ruling that put the kibosh on Obama’s health care reform. The Barenaked Ladies accomplished a lot in one week, but I’m not sure the DOJ can do the same. [Bloomberg]
* What’s an essential tool to help you get through the second semester of 1L at an unaccredited law school? If you’re from Texas, an AK-47. [Boston Globe]
* “Ray Charles could see that those signatures were doctored.” Probably not what you want to hear from the judge during your public corruption trial. [Atlanta Journal-Constitution]
* Can you call someone an “asswipe nasty lying hosebag thief” on Twitter and get away with it? We’ll never know, because Twitter-twatter Courtney Love has settled her defamation lawsuit for $430K. [The Hollywood Reporter]
* Two and a half men no more: now that Charlie Sheen’s kids have been taken away, it looks like he’s down to just half a man. That’s okay, though, because he’s got tiger blood. [Washington Post]
* At this point, you’d think that the feds would let you do just about anything to grow the economy. Not so, though, when the thing you want to grow it with is pot. [New York Times]
* What’s the easiest way to get the FBI to install a secret tracking device in your car? By being a Muslim, apparently. [CNN Justice]
* If you’re a judge presiding over a case where a MLB team is the defendant, you probably shouldn’t wear the team’s gear outside court – and if you do, don’t get caught, because that’s not kosher. [New York Daily News]
* Groupon should be sued for their obnoxious commercials, but they’re actually being sued for selling “gift certificates.” Oops, someone should tell the plaintiff that Groupon sells “vouchers.” [NBC Chicago]
* Guys, next time you feel the urge to photoshop a little girl’s face onto the body of a naked woman, just don’t. It’s not sexy for normal people, and it’s not a form of free speech. [New York Law Journal]
* Star Magazine says that Katie Holmes is a drug addict. Which drug? Scientology. She might win the libel lawsuit, but her ultimate judge will be Xenu. [Reuters]
* A judge in Illinois won’t let a defendant who looks like the Crazy Cat Lady from the Simpsons get her hair done or wear makeup at trial. [Chicago Sun-Times]
* A judge in New York, on the other hand, will give a defendant the tie off his neck and the Brooks Brothers shirt off his back just so he can look stylish in court. [New York Post]
* Just because your kid went to the prom with a Muslim doesn’t mean that you’re down with Islam — especially not when you want to make it a felony to follow Shariah law. [Washington Post]
* Christina Aguilera got arrested for being drunk in public. Someone needs to put that genie back in her bottle before she heads the way of other infamous Mouseketeers. [ABC News]
* How desperate do you have to be to molest your kid in exchange for a date? How stupid do you have to be to think child porn therapy is real? The answer to both questions is VERY. [Detroit Free Press]
* The SEC has accused Goldman Sachs’s ex-director of insider trading. The next insider trading he’ll probably be doing is for cigarettes in the pokey. [Wall Street Journal]
* An Indianapolis man is suing a strip club because he got hit in the face by a flying shoe from one of the dancers. Charisma, Chastity, Fantasia, Kia, Optima, Cinnamon, Destiny, Porsche, Angel, Cherry, Buckcherry, Jenna, Nina Nipples, Coco, and Kid Rock had no comment. [Indianapolis Star]
* Something called Indiana Tech is mulling over whether to open a law school. Someone called Elie just threw up in his mouth a little. [The Journal Gazette]
* A New Orleans lawyer was suspended for advising his client to misspell his own name on a bankruptcy petition. The client, Mike Hunt, was willing to go to great lengths to avoid ridicule. [WSJ Bankruptcy Beat]
* A Jacksonville lawyer has dropped his slogan “Men Only. Family Law Only.” after complaints from the Florida Bar. He’s hopeful that his new slogan, “He-Man Woman Haters Club”, will pass muster. [Miami Herald]
* Baker Hostetler is making out like a bandit on this whole Madoff thing. I’ve always assumed bandits make out with a lot of tongue. Like the French. [New York Times]
* It will take awhile before the effects of the Obama administration’s decision on DOMA are felt. In the meantime, supporters of the law are relying on Congress’s Boehner to fill the gap. [Washington Post]
* Looks like federal judges are going to have to cut costs. It will be a great day when our federal judges get all the money they need and the Air Force has to hold a bake sale. Not to buy a bomber, but because everyone likes cookies. [ABA Journal]
* More than 100 law professors are lobbying Congress to apply an ethics code to the Supreme Court. In related news, Clarence Thomas continues to troll the f**k out of a bunch of law professors. [ABA Journal]
* Arizona might have a host of new anti-immigration laws. The state hasn’t been this welcoming since The Brothers Brothers were working for their tourism commission. [New York Times]
* “Teachers accused of steamy lesbian romp fire back at city with $2M suit.” [New York Post]
The holiday season is upon us, and yet again, you have no idea what to get for the fickle lawyer in your life. We’re here to help. Even if your bonus check hasn’t arrived yet, any one of the gifts we’ve highlighted here could be a worthy substitute until your employer decides to make it rain.
We’ve got an eclectic selection for you to choose from, so settle in by that stack of documents yet to be reviewed and dig in…
Ed. note: The Asia Chronicles column is authored by Kinney Recruiting. Kinney has made more placements of U.S. associates, counsels and partners in Asia than any other recruiting firm in each of the past six years. You can reach them by email: firstname.lastname@example.org.
We currently have a very exciting and rare type of in-house opening in China at one of the world’s leading internet and social media companies. Our client is looking for an IP Transactional / TMT / Licensing attorney with 2 to 6 years experience. The new hire will be based in Shenzhen or Shanghai. Mandarin is not required (deal documentation will be in English) but is preferred. A solid reason to be in China and a commitment to that market is required of course. This new hire will likely be US qualified (but could also be qualified in UK or other jurisdictions) and with experience and training at a top law firm’s IP transactional / TMT practice and could be currently at a law firm or in-house. Qualified candidates currently Asia based, Europe based or US based will be considered. The new hire’s supervisors in this technology transactions in-house team are very well regarded US trained IP transactional lawyers, with substantial experience at Silicon Valley firms. The culture and atmosphere in this in-house group and the company in general is entrepreneurial, team oriented, and the work is cutting edge, even for a cutting edge industry. The upside of being in an important strategic in-house position in this fast growing and world leading internet company is of the “sky is the limit” variety. Its a very exciting place to be in China for a rising IP transactional lawyer in our opinion, for many reasons beyond the basic info we can share here in this ad / post. This is a special A+ opportunity.
If your firm is in ‘go’ mode when it comes to recruiting lateral partners with loyal clients, then take this quiz to see how well you measure up. Keep track of your ‘yes’ and ‘no’ responses.
1. Does your firm have a clearly defined strategy of practice groups that are priorities of growth for your office? Nothing gets done by random chance, but with a clear vision for the future. Identify the top practice areas for which you wish to add lateral partners. Seek input from practice group leaders and get specifics on needs, outcomes, and ideal target profiles.
2. In addition to clarifying your firm’s growth strategy, are you still open to the hire of a partner outside of your plan? I’ve made several placements that fit this category. The partner’s practice was not within the strategic growth plan of my client, but once the two parties started talking with each other, we all saw how it could indeed be a seamless fit. Be open to “Opportunistic Hires.” You never know where your next producing partner might come from, so you have to be open to it. I will be the first to admit that there is a quirky element of randomness in recruiting.
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