Morning Docket

* Former New Jersey Governor Chris Christie is a little worried about President Trump’s flair for hyperbole, saying that Trump should never “walk into that room with” special counsel Robert Mueller, because when you make “false statements to federal agents, that’s a crime, that can send you to jail.” [The Hill]

* This is not an April Fools’ joke. On April 1, Foley & Lardner finalized its Tex-Mex merger with Gardere Wynne Sewell. We repeat, this is not an April Fools’ joke. Foley will maintain its headquarters in Milwaukee Wisconsin. Best of luck to the combined firm! [Texas Lawyer]

* Long Island Judge Robert Cicale was arrested after allegedly breaking into a former intern’s house to steal a pair of her panties. At his arraignment, he admitted that he’d done it before, and in his confession, he said “he has urges to steal women’s underwear.” We’ll have more on the alleged panty thief later. [NBC New York]

* According to a new report by Fairfax Associates, law firm mergers are set to meet (or perhaps beat) 2017’s record. Twenty tie-ups have been completed in 2018 thus far, with another 13 announced mergers set to close later this year. [American Lawyer]

* New York firm Morrison Cohen recently launched the “MoCo cryptocurrency litigation tracker,” a tool investors can use to monitor when doing due diligence on crypto assets. There are currently 63 cases in the U.S., and some of the industry’s biggest players have been named as defendants. [Brave New Coin]

* Attorney General Jeff Sessions won’t be appointing a second special counsel to examine political bias in the handling of investigations by the FBI and DOJ just yet, but not to worry, because the Inspector General and the U.S. Attorney for Utah are on the case. [Politico]

* Lawyer.com spokesperson Lindsay Lohan lost her invasion of privacy case against the maker of “Grand Theft Auto V” at the New York Court of Appeals in a unanimous decision penned by Judge Eugene Fahey, who said the video game character LiLo alleged was based on her was “not reasonably identifiable as plaintiff.”  [Reuters]

* As it turns out, Savannah Law School won’t be immediately ceasing operations in early June. Now, the law school plans to move to another location within the city, and will close over the next five years without admitting any new students. [Savannah Morning News]

* Adnan Syed, the subject of the hit podcast “Serial,” had his murder conviction vacated by the Maryland Court of Special Appeals. His case has been remanded for a new trial on all charges. [New York Times]

* “Mark, it hurts! You’re hurting me… Don’t be so rough.” In case you missed it, a juror fainted during trial after watching a video of graphic sex between a Texas attorney who traded sex for legal services and one of his clients. Yeehaw… [FOX News]

* John Dowd says the Trump legal team had a “terrific” relationship with Robert Mueller’s office. Yeah… that’s probably why you’ve been forced off the Trump legal team. [National Law Journal]

* Becoming beloved by GCs isn’t difficult. Just give them 100 percent of your time for 50 percent of the cost. And if you can’t handle that, here are some other tips. [Law360]

* Mayer Brown boasts mother and son partner duo. [American Lawyer]

* BDO has a new report entitled Inside E-Discovery & Beyond: Reimagining Digital Risk. I think the problem is too many lawyers haven’t begun imagining digital risk, let alone reimagining it. [BDO]

* Facebook would really, really like you to know that you have privacy settings available to you. [The Recorder]

* Senior DOJ attorney bolting for LGBT rights organization. That’s a lateral move I didn’t expect. [The Hill]

* Is the Supreme Court about to take a right turn? With lengthy delays in issuing opinions and apparent infighting that’s leaked onto the bench during oral arguments, pundits think that the high court may soon become as “politically fractured as the rest of Washington.” [CNN]

* Speaking of SCOTUS, the justices spent an hour debating whether they should abandon the longstanding rule in Marks, which guides whose holding controls when the decision is split. [National Law Journal]

* New York, California, and several other states will sue to prevent the U.S. government from asking about citizenship status in the 2020 census whether people are citizens, contending that such a question could stop immigrants from participating and skew the makeup of Congress. [Reuters]

* Uber will pay $10 million to settle a discrimination class-action that was brought on behalf of hundreds of women and minority software engineers. [The Recorder]

* Remember the little boy who was decapitated while riding the world’s tallest water slide in 2016? The co-owner of the waterpark where it happened was arrested earlier this week and charged with second-degree murder. [New York Times]

* Remember when a smart, respectable jurist was nominated to the Supreme Court? A deep dive into Merrick Garland’s relationship with Justice Brennan. [National Law Journal]

* Olivia De Havilland loses suit against the makers of Feud. It’s a huge win for Munger Tolles, which is surely the only headline about Munger Tolles we’ll remember this week. [The Recorder]

* Porn star sues president’s lawyer for defamation. Thinking back a couple of years, that’s a bundle of words I didn’t expect to have to publish. [NBC News]

* Shkreli is going to appeal. That’s cute. [Law360]

* Steven Raisman moves to Katten Muchin Rosenman. [Law.com]

* Looks like we can add another name to this list. [Mercury News]

* As it turns out, Joe diGenova — the lawyer who’s convinced that the Justice Department is trying to frame Trump with its Russia investigation — won’t be joining the president’s personal legal team after all due to conflicts of interest. DiGenova’s wife, Victoria Toensing, has been conflicted out as well. Oopsie! [New York Times]

* President Trump tweeted this weekend that “[m]any lawyers and top law firms want to represent me in the Russia case,” and that his difficulty in finding lawyers to join his defense team is “Fake News.” Meanwhile, at least four defense attorneys at separate Biglaw firms have been approached, and most have turned down the offer. [CNN]

* In her 60 Minutes interview, Stormy Daniels says she was once physically threatened to keep quiet about her affair with Donald Trump and was later pressured into signing a false statement denying the affair because she believed that Michael Cohen, Trump’s personal attorney, would “make [her] life hell.” Cohen has denied threatening Daniels. [Washington Post]

* In the summer of 2014, Bracewell & Giuliani warned Cambridge Analytica that foreign citizens shouldn’t have “substantive management” roles running U.S. election campaigns, and yet, that’s exactly what the company did in its work with the Trump campaign, and now Robert Mueller is on the case. [Washington Examiner; TIME]

* Some law firms in the U.K. have started including information on partners’ salaries in their mandatory gender pay gap reporting. The first firms to do so were Norton Rose Fulbright, with a 27 percent pay gap for all employees (including partners), and Reed Smith, with an 8 percent pay gap among only partners. [Financial Times]

* Law student Jordan Crewe has already filed suit against the soon-to-be-closed Savannah Law School, accusing the school of committing fraud, negligent misrepresentation, breach of contract, and breach of fiduciary duty. She’s requesting punitive damages from the school, and wants a jury trial too. [WSAV]

* Baker Hostetler has a new chair. By that we mean a new leader, not new furniture. [American Lawyer]

* Now that they’ve settled, Chadbourne is a big fan of Kerrie Campbell. [New York Law Journal]

* Cox witness thinks AT&T merger would be “horribly ugly.” Well at least it’s an unbiased source. [National Law Journal]

* Ogletree Deakins slapped with punitives in malpractice trial. I’ve said it before… someone over there needs to figure out labor law. [Daily Report Online]

* Some people don’t pass the bar. [Inside Higher Ed]

* GE signed a multiyear contract with UnitedLex. A conversation with William Deckelman, general counsel of DXC Technology. [Corporate Counsel]

* The First Law Student is single. People reports Tiffany Trump broke up with her longtime boyfriend as part of her law school transition. [People]

* Jeffrey Toobin and Alan Dershowitz clash on television when Toobin points out that Dershowitz’s cable appearances these days are less legal analysis than auditions for Sarah Huckabee Sanders’s job. [Daily Beast]

* Charles Cooper says Jeff Sessions is not currently under investigation for false statements or perjury. Update your scorecards accordingly. [USA Today]

* Ninth Circuit rules in favor of the Gaye family in the Blurred Lines lawsuit. Wait, that’s still going on? [Courthouse News Service]

* Former Florida State deputy general counsel arrested in child sex sting. [Tallahassee Democrat]

* In-house counsel are very concerned about GDPR. [Big Law Business]

* Some people have some entirely understandable problems with Lindsay’s new ad. [Ad Age]

* CSM believes the Austin bomber case shows off law enforcement’s deep surveillance powers. Yeah, they were so deep they pretty much did nothing for weeks. [Christian Science Monitor]

* The President apparently got around? Former Playboy Playmate Karen McDougal has filed suit against American Media, Inc., owner of The National Enquirer, to get out of an agreement that’s preventing her from discussing her alleged affair with Donald Trump, which reportedly occurred around the same time as the Stormy Daniels affair. [CBS News]

* What’s going on at Latham & Watkins in the wake its former chairman Lathaming himself over inappropriate conduct involving “communications of a sexual nature”? According to a source at the firm, “[e]veryone is shocked” and no one has any idea who will replace Bill Voge as chair. [American Lawyer]

* “This is not what the impeachment power is for….” Pennsylvania GOP lawmakers are moving to impeach the Democratic state Supreme Court justices who ruled the state’s congressional map was unconstitutionally gerrymandered. [Huffington Post]

* Dechert has settled an age and sex discrimination case filed by female staff members. There are no details of the settlement available, but if you recall, the firm countered the ex-staffers’ claims by saying that technological advances had made their jobs redundant. [Legal Intelligencer]

* On Monday, Mississippi Governor Phil Bryant signed the most restrictive abortion bill in the country, banning abortion after 15 weeks of gestation. Less than 24 hours later, Judge Carlton Reeves granted a temporary restraining order in favor of the state’s lone abortion clinic. [Associated Press]

* “This is crazy.” Donald Trump reportedly had members of his White House senior staff sign nondisclosure agreements that are supposed to last beyond his presidency. This raised some brows, but dissenters concluded that the contracts weren’t likely to be enforceable, so they signed on the dotted line. Yes, crazy. [Washington Post]

* With quotes from “Cat on a Hot Tin Roof,” President Trump’s personal lawyer, John Dowd, said — first on behalf of the president as his counsel, and later, on behalf of only himself (oopsie?) — that it’s time for the Mueller probe to end. [Daily Beast]

* And following a tweet storm about Mueller this weekend, it certainly seems like President Trump is gearing up to fire the special counsel. Congressional Republicans are less than pleased with the president’s behavior, and have issued a few stern warnings, urging Trump not to cross the “massive red [Mueller] line,” because “that would be the beginning of the end of his presidency.” [New York Times]

* Are you ready for legal sports betting? Your bookie might not be, but America’s four major U.S. sports leagues are preparing for anything and everything that could happen as a result of the Supreme Court’s forthcoming ruling. [Washington Post]

* “What’re you in for?” “A law degree.” According to a report from the ACLU, debts “from medical bills to car payments to student loans” are being criminalized, and courts across the country are issuing arrest warrants. [Idaho Statesman]

* Christopher Tripp Zanetis, NYFD fire marshal, U.S. Air Force captain, Debevoise associate, RIP. We’ll have more on his passing later today. [American Lawyer]

* Vanessa Trump, the president’s daughter-in-law, filed for an uncontested divorce against Donald Trump Jr. Apparently Jr.’s controversial tweets destroyed their marriage. At least they’re not destroying a country. [Page Six]

* Former FBI Deputy Director Andrew McCabe was forced to plead with senior officials at the Justice Department not to fire him just days before his expected retirement. This man has a pension, and he wants to keep it, even if he has to beg. Let’s see if he was able to change anyone’s mind. Cross your fingers… [Washington Post]

* The late Justice Antonin Scalia’s judicial legacy is being quietly erased each time members of the Supreme Court examine legislative history. The legal legend absolutely, positively hated using legislative history to interpret laws, and it’s been happening more frequently since his death. [New York Times]

* Never could’ve seen this coming: Mossack Fonseca, the law firm behind the Panama Papers, will be closing by the end of the month. “The reputational deterioration, the media campaign, the financial siege, and the irregular actions of some Panamanian authorities have caused irreparable damage” to the firm. [American Lawyer]

* If you haven’t been following @LadyLawyerDiary on Twitter, you should start. It’s a community for women lawyers to talk about exactly what’s going on behind closed doors in the legal profession by “outing stupid sexist stuff” and celebrating women’s successes. It’s a great place to find support, so join up soon. [Big Law Business]

Hey, I’m doing Morning Docket. Good morning, everybody. How are you all doing? So… what’s going on this morning?

* A judge ruled that revealing the names of Powerball winners would be an invasion of privacy, frustrating the plans of second cousins everywhere. [ABA Journal]

* The SEC is charging Theranos exec, Elizabeth Holmes, with fraud. I… don’t really know who she is or what her company did. I know I’m supposed to know. I could Google it, I guess. [Washington Post]

* Australia is considering fast-tracking visas for white South Africans. That’s right folks, Australia would like to now lecture the world about the evils of stealing land from indigenous peoples. [The Guardian]

* Jeff Sessions is going to ax the retiring Andrew McCabe before he can get his pension. Then I expect he’ll cackle and say something like, “Or am I being obtuse.” [NBC News]

* I’m just going to, uhh, leave this right here in the “suggestions box.” [The Onion]

* You realize that if Merrick Garland had been confirmed, there would be a flourishing conspiracy theory industry surrounding Antonin Scalia’s death, only they’d be saying he was murdered by George Soros. Tony Mauro has a good piece on new documents released about the day of Scalia’s death. [National Law Journal]

* I found myself re-reading Federalist No. 10 and just marveling at how James Madison really thought this whole stupid country was going to somehow work out. “The influence of factious leaders may kindle a flame within their particular States, but will be unable to spread a general conflagration through the other States.” Wrong, James. You’re freaking wrong. Fight me in real life, you wrong, slaveholding, jerkface. [Federalist No. 10]

Ed. note: this was written at 5 p.m. last night. Who the hell is awake at this hour of the morning?

* Ever since Judge Alex Kozinski of the Ninth Circuit, who had been accused of sexual harassment by 15 women, retired, a working group within the federal judiciary has been trying to come up with reforms to be made as far as sexual harassment is concerned. Thus far, they’ve come up with about 20 reforms, and Chief Justice John Roberts is confident the group’s work will “ensure an exemplary workplace for every court employee.” [National Law Journal]

* Time’s up, UK: The Solicitors Regulation Authority of England and Wales has warned law firms not to use nondisclosure agreements to cover up sexual harassment and assault scandals. After all, these are instances of professional misconduct, so of course a professional regulatory agency wants to know about that. [American Lawyer]

* Justice Ruth Bader Ginsburg will be turning 85 later this week, and she says she’s “feeling fine.” Many hope that the self-described “flaming feminist litigator” continues to feel that way until we find a way to turn her into a little RBG judicial bot that will never, ever short-circuit — or until there’s a Democrat in office. [USA Today]

* Nichole Ashley Collins, the Pennsylvania lawyer who was fired for allegedly stealing money from her firm and then returned to the firm to allegedly steal more money to buy sex toys, has been disbarred. Who would’ve expected such a thing… [FOX 43]

* Prosecutors in Florida will seek the death penalty against Nikolas Cruz for his role as the accused gunman in the Marjory Stoneman Douglas High School massacre. Last week, Cruz was indicted by a grand jury on 17 counts of premeditated murder in the first degree and 17 counts of attempted murder in the first degree. [CNN]

* Winston & Strawn revenue up 19 percent last year after securing a hefty contingency fee in the pink slime matter. Despite their victory, we suspect these lawyers are using their windfall on grass-fed free-range beef. [American Lawyer]

* In the continuing war on class actions as a lingering nuisance to our corporate overlords, the Supreme Court may be taking aim at cy pres settlements to “protect the class” by making class actions harder to pull together. [National Law Journal]

* The photographer from the horrendous decision ruling that embedded Tweets are copyright violations is fighting an effort by defendants to get an interlocutory appeal to clear up this travesty as quickly as possible. You know, to save the Internet. [Law360]

* In an article that manages to avoid any reference to Ready Player One, Rhys Dipshan considers the IP challenges facing widespread adoption of VR and AR products. As an example, the article considers what would happen if someone put that famous picture of Albert Einstein into the game. Perhaps the better question is why isn’t that in the public domain and can VR be the technology that finally reverses the broken IP regime Sonny Bono dropped on us? [Legaltech News]

* Can California’s sanctuary laws survive federal assault? Professor Noah Feldman says they should. [Bloomberg]

* Professor Tobias Barrington Wolff considers the sideshow of a career his Penn Law colleague Amy Wax has decided to pursue. [Faculty Lounge]

* President Trump’s personal lawyer, Michael Cohen, claims that he used his home equity line to pay off Stormy Daniels out of the goodness of his heart, and while people have been focusing on the fact that he may have violated campaign finance laws, not many have mentioned that he likely violated New York’s ethics rules, would could get him disbarred. [Slate]

* Remember the time that Judge Katherine Forrest ruined the internet with a single ruling? Several media outlets are preparing to appeal to the Second Circuit, saying the copyright decision could change the internet as we know it. [Big Law Business]

* Dean Andrea Lyon of Valparaiso Law — the school that’s not closing, per se, but will stop accepting students and is hoping to merge with another school or move locations — will be resigning on June 1. No one knows what will happen to the school, and soon there won’t even be a dean. These poor students… [Indianapolis Business Journal]

* Justice Ruth Bader Ginsburg is a foodie, and in honor of her upcoming birthday — and because “[s]he eats real food and plenty of it” — here are a few of the Notorious One’s favorite places to dine in her hometown of New York City. [am New York]

* The February bar exam has come and gone, and with it, hundreds of jobs across the entire legal services industry. According to the latest report from the Bureau of Labor Statistics, 200 fewer people were employed in the legal sector last month than in January. Hopefully things improve before graduation. [American Lawyer]

* “Katy Perry represents everything we don’t believe in. It would be a sin to sell to her.” Sister Catherine Rose Holzman, 89, who had been locked in litigation with the singer and the archdioces for several years over the sale of her former convent, collapsed and died in court on Friday during a post-judgment hearing. [NPR]

* The 2018 Go-To Law Schools rankings are out — where should you go to law school if you want a job at a top firm? Spoiler: not Arizona Summit. [Law.com]

* According to a new study, justices spend more oral argument time grandstanding today than they did 20 years ago. So give Clarence Thomas credit for at least not falling into this trap. [National Law Journal]

* A fascinating interview with George Pataki covering his path to politics, his current practice, and his concern over the rise of celebrity candidates. For our younger readers, George Pataki was the tall guy in last election’s GOP junior varsity debate that you didn’t watch. [Coverage Opinions]

* John Dean and Preet Bharara are among the amici listed in a new brief from Project Democracy challenging the administration’s role in the AT&T merger. Their argument is outlined at Lawfare. [Lawfare]

* Dean Erwin Chemerinsky lays out the big Fourth Amendment cases to watch this Term. [ABA Journal]

* Suing over vaccination programs? Check. Cracking down on protestors in the name of free speech? Check. Harassing schools over affirmative action? Check. Prosecuting corporate criminals? Not so much. [Forbes]

* Oh. And add “defending the right to block people on Twitter” to the legal fights Justice is taking up rather than prosecuting corporations. [Law360]

* While Michigan State zeroes in on another NCAA Tournament run, the Board of Trustees zero in on saving their hides in the fallout of the Larry Nassar revelations. The Board announced bringing on Akin Gump as the scandal grows. [Detroit News]

* Speaking of Akin, former Akin partner Jeffrey Wertkin’s criminal trial ends with a 30-month prison sentence. [Reuters]

* When Wesleyan’s commencement speaker Daniel Handler suffered a series of unfortunate sexual harassment allegations, the school reached out to Anita Hill in possibly the most clutch last-minute rescheduling ever. [Chronicle of Higher Education]

* Donald Trump apparently keeps asking witnesses in the Mueller probe about their testimony. So it’s safe to say he’s not even trying to heed the advice of counsel. [NY Times]

* Meaning Trump may soon be asking Erik Prince about his testimony, because that guy appears to be in hot water with Mueller now. [Vox]

* Another look at the Lewis & Clark Law protest that kicked off this week. [Big Law Business]

* Rhode Island considers banning free porn in an effort to ensure that the only opiate of the masses remains crippling opioid addiction.. [NPR]

* Pepperdine Law had faculty dunk tanks yesterday. Just California’s friendly reminder to the East Coast that we’re living wrong. [TaxProf Blog]

* Stormy Daniels, the porn actress who was paid six figures in exchange for not spilling the beans about her affair with Donald Trump, is now suing him, claiming that the “hush agreement” she entered into prior to the election is invalid because he never signed it. [Washington Post]

* File this under Not Top Ten: Former ESPN legal analyst and sports anchor Adrienne Lawrence, a onetime associate of Greenberg Traurig, Arent Fox, and McGuireWoods, has filed a sexual harassment suit against the sports network, claiming that SportsCenter anchor John Buccigross constantly harassed her. [American Lawyer]

* Not only will the government be able to seize more than $7.3 million of disgraced pharma bro Martin Shkreli’s assets — including his one-of-a-kind Wu-Tang Clan album — but prosecutors want to throw him behind bars for no less than 15 years. [New York Law Journal]

* Attorney General Jeff Sessions will announce today that the Justice Department will be filing suit against California over its “sanctuary state” laws. As alleged in the complaint, the Golden State’s laws — AB 450, SB 54, and AB 103 — were all created to impede immigration laws. [USA Today]

* “When I heard the gun went off accidentally, that just didn’t ring true. Someone has to pull the trigger. They just don’t accidentally discharge.” Prospective jurors in former Biglaw partner Claud “Tex” McIver’s murder trial weren’t exactly buying his defense. [Atlanta Journal-Constitution]

* Forget about the egregious law school tuition you’ll have to pay in the future, because it can cost quite the pretty penny to apply to law school in the first place. You may want to look into fee waivers so you can save yourself some cash. [U.S. News]

* Billy McFarland, the millennial entrepreneur who organized the disastrous Fyre Festival, has taken a plea deal after defrauding the investors who bought into the failed event. He’s looking at sentence of eight to 10 years in prison. [Big Law Business]

* A reminder that legal counsel is expensive even if you don’t fight all the way to trial — Michael Flynn is selling his house to pay his legal bills. [ABC News]

* Jim Walden has a very Oscar-friendly practice. His clients managed to be the subject of the Best Documentary winner and a Best Screenplay nominee. So if you’re a criminal looking to break into the entertainment industry, hire Walden. [New York Law Journal]

* Sam Nunberg thinks it’s advisable to ignore Robert Mueller’s subpoena. Good luck with all that. [Courthouse News Service]

* At this firm, revenue is up… but the partners aren’t really seeing it. [American Lawyer]

* Poor Michael Cohen complains that he never got reimbursed for paying off that porn star for the president. [New York]

* Some advice for newly minted GCs. [Corporate Counsel]

* Hearings begin tomorrow for DOJ Civil Division chief nominee Jody Hunt tomorrow. Here’s a primer on exactly how many times you’ll hear the word “Russia” tomorrow. [National Law Journal]

* Oregon passes new gun control law. Go ahead and set your watch to the NRA filing a lawsuit by the end of the month. [Huffington Post]

* No donation is too small, and no donor is too young: Former Senate candidate and former judge Roy Moore is begging his supporters via Facebook for cash for his legal defense fund because his “resources have been depleted” and he’s “struggled to make ends meet.” [Washington Post]

* The Trump administration wants to stop federal judges from issuing nationwide injunctions, and the Justice Department is using the travel ban case to ask the Supreme Court to “reject the deeply misguided practice.” Will SCOTUS put these “so-called judges” in their place? [Associated Press]

* Remember Claud “Tex” McIver, the Biglaw partner who shot his wife in the back and killed her, allegedly blamed the incident on a Black Lives Matter protest? Jury selection for his murder trial begins today. [Daily Report Online]

* No, Justice Ruth Bader Ginsburg isn’t advising LeadInvest, a company promoting cryptocurrency investments in Texas, and neither are former U.S. Solicitors General Theodore Olson, Seth Waxman, and Paul Clement. The Texas State Securities Board sent a cease-and-desist letter demanding that the company remove photos of the justice and the lawyers from its site. [National Law Journal]

* And the Oscar for Best Lawyer goes to… John Quinn of Quinn Emanuel has served as outside counsel to the Academy of Motion Picture Arts and Sciences since 1986, and he attends every show with the ABC contract in his pocket in case a legal issue pops up. [Corporate Counsel]

* Is it time to bring back the lists and rankings commemorating the “hotties of law”? Vivia Chen has a hot take, and thinks that in this puritanical era, it’s high time that we stop pretending lawyers are asexual. So long as both men and women are included on the lists, what’s the harm? Right now, a lot. [American Lawyer]