Movies

* Our columnist Steve Dykstra opines that Roger Goodell is not going to get fired over the Ray Rice investigation/non-investigation. But what we really want to know from Dykstra is his opinion on how badly the West is going to beat the East in this year’s Grey Cup. [Steven Dykstra] * Apparently, we’ve been banned by Reddit. I think as editors we’ve posted on Reddit maybe 3 times in the last year, so it certainly isn’t our fault. Reddit notes “above the law will no longer be receiving traffic or page views from here,” which I guess is supposed to be a threat. Hey, don’t fault us just because our content is so good. *cue unimaginative trolling* [Reddit] * A discussion of gutless women. [The Careerist / The American Lawyer] * MGM might lose the rights to a pair of Clint Eastwood classics. Specifically, The Good, The Bad and The Ugly, For a Few Dollars More, and Last Tango in Paris. [Hollywood, Esq. / Hollywood Reporter] * The winner of the Hofstra Law School Mystery Short Story Contest is “A Prisoner of Time” by Lucian E. Dervan. That sounds like a 1980s Doctor Who episode. [Mulholland Books] * Beau Brindley pleads not guilty to telling a witness to lie. So, that case is moving right along. [My Fox Chicago] * Vermont Law School cites children’s story books. [Law School Lemmings] * D.C. lawyer Jacob McDermott is climbing Mt. Kilimanjaro to raise money for LiveStrong. Check out his donation site. [LiveStrong]

* The Oakland Raiders have settled their cheerleader lawsuit for $1.25 million. Here’s to a season of crippling losses! [SF Gate] * The death of law schools requires observing the 5 stages of grief. It’s DABDA right? Denial, Anger, Bargaining, Debt, AGAIN! [TaxProf Blog] * You don’t need permission to change careers… though many law […]

Apparently, Village Roadshow's CEO still hasn't gotten over the loss in the legal case.

Taking constitutional cues from The Big Lebowski...

* Court needed a Chinese language interpreter. Rather than find a professional legal interpreter, the judge just told the lawyer to head down to the local Chinese restaurant and grab somebody. [Legal Cheek] * News from former Virginia Governor Bob McDonnell’s trial. As one tipster summed up the story: “Hon, I think I dropped my keys under that bus. Would you take a look?” [Slate] * Everyone concedes Ted Cruz is smart. Why exactly? [Salon] * A follow-up from a previous story: Connolly, Geaney, Ablitt & Willard shuts down after the foreclosure market that made them turned on them. [Mass Lawyers Weekly (sub. req.)] * Interesting look at the volume of patent cases throughout history. Check out the troll phenomenon with charts! [Patently-O] * More folks wasting time complaining about blog posts. [South Florida Lawyers] * Clint Eastwood talks with Chief Judge Kozinski and Judge Fisher at the Ninth Circuit Judicial Conference. These days it’s exciting whenever Clint isn’t talking to an empty chair. Video embedded below… [YouTube]

Did President Obama rip off some material from U.S. Attorney Preet Bharara?

What's motivating this move?

The Ghostbusters may be able to fight off spirits, but they sure attract a lot of litigation.

A giant media conglomerate realizes it's a good thing when everyone is talking about their product.

* Abraham Lincoln was a harder working lawyer than you are. [Abraham Lincoln's Almanac Trial] * Quentin Tarantino has given up the ghost and dropped his suit against Gawker over The Hateful Eight. [The Escapist] * The people who made stupid toe shoes have settled a big class action. [Deadspin] * Judge Posner and Justice Scalia haven’t had a public fight in a while. So this lawyer is trying to stir one up. Thanks, buddy! [Legal Times] * Colorado’s energy industry is suing municipalities creating a patchwork of fracking regulation. As the author notes, “for a state that has boldly snubbed federal law on marijuana policy, such arguments sound a bit hollow.” [Breaking Energy] * Stop calling on Justice Ginsburg to retire… it’s probably too late for Obama to nominate a replacement anyway. [New Republic] * Lawyer writes threatening letter to customer who wrote a negative review on Amazon. [Ars Technica] * Our tipster put it best, “New Show on Bravo: ‘Lowering the NJ Bar.’” [The Star-Ledger] * A young solicitor known as Mr. Kelly was inspired to release a rap album about how much he hated his training job at a top 10 global firm. His video after the jump…. [Legal Cheek]

A federal court that actually understands copyright law has quickly disabused Tarantino of his bizarre interpretation of copyright law.

* Remember to enter the Sixth Annual Law Revue competition. The submission deadline is Thursday at 5. [Above the Law] * Johnny Depp subpoenaed in a murder case. He’ll finally pay for what he did to basic dignity in that Lone Ranger movie. [TMZ] * Speaking of murder, a court in Pakistan has dropped the attempted murder charges that had been filed against a 9-month-old baby. Maggie Simpson nods in approval. [NBC News] * The difference between this student note and your student note is that this one is guiding Department of Justice policy. [Wall Street Journal] * Professor Susannah Pollvogt identifies the key issues raised in the Kitchen v. Herbert oral argument. [Pollvogtarian] * The Income Tax turns 100. You’re looking fabulous. [TaxProf Blog] * The fallout from Heartbleed continues. Here are a few legal websites affected by the glitch. [ATL Redline] * Jon Stewart has some choice words for the Gibson Dunn report that Chris Christie commissioned and that not-so-surprisingly came out in Christie’s favor. Video after the jump…. [Comedy Central]

Legally Blonde cost some people much more than a movie ticket.

Never let technology or common sense get in the way of an overzealous copyright claim.

* The Eighth Circuit axed a $900K jury award after a lawyer recounted her tale of sexual harassment by a law professor at Drake University Law during closing arguments. Well, that sucks, but we’d really love to know which professor this was. [ABA Journal]

* If flat is the new up, then mergers must be the new growth. The new year is upon us, and law firms are on track to either meet or break the merger record set in 2013. Thus far, 22 firms have announced mergers or acquisitions in 2014. [Washington Post]

* A lawyer in Minnesota who’s been in trouble with the bar quite a few times was recently charged with setting his girlfriend on fire. Yikes, someone’s way too excited about the Fargo mini-series. [Star-Tribune]

* Oscar Pistorius took the stand in his murder trial yesterday, revealing that when he killed his girlfriend Reeva Steenkamp, he was really trying to protect her. This case gives us the sads. 🙁 [New York Times]

* Sorry we’re not sorry about the toupee: Paramount wants this Wolf of Wall Street suit dismissed since it’s undeniable the plaintiff was part of “bizarre travesty that was Stratton Oakmont.” [Hollywood Reporter]

* Dentons still has the urge to merge with a U.S. firm, and now it’s trying to tempt Patton Boggs away from Squire Sanders with a “serious overture.” Bow chika bow wow. [The Lawyer]

* Despite all the outrage over Albany Law’s faculty buyouts, some have already accepted the package offered. Looks like anything’s possible for the right price. [Albany Business Review]

* Guess which law school is cutting tuition by a whole lot? Some hints: it’s in New York and it’s been selling off real estate. We’ll have more on this later. [Wall Street Journal (sub. req.)]

* Perhaps this could be considered a gift of provisional accreditation: Alberto Gonzales, U.S. Attorney General in President George W. Bush’s administration, is now dean at Belmont Law. [The Tennessean]

* Take a look at this new paper by Professors Amy Chua and Jed Rubenfeld on race and culture in law school admissions. Actually, it’s fake, but it’s sad that it could, in theory, be very real. [Washington Post]

* Zac Efron is going to star as a Yale Law grad forced by criminals to work in the world’s largest Biglaw firm in a film adaptation of John Grisham’s book, The Associate. OMG, he’s so cute. [Hollywood Reporter]

* Our thoughts go out to the families of those wounded and killed during the Fort Hood shooting. [AP]

Can you catch all the clever references in this opinion to the cult classic "Office Space"?

* Professor Ann Althouse’s analysis of today’s Hobby Lobby and Conestoga Wood arguments before SCOTUS. [Althouse] * Professor Nelson Tebbe’s take on the proceedings. [Balkinization] * Finally, a very Jezebel assessment: “Supreme Court Prepares to F**k Up This Birth Control Thing.” [Jezebel] * “JUDGE TO PORN TROLLS: IP Addresses Aren’t People.” [Instapundit] * YouTube videos and text messages surface in the Oscar Pistorius murder trial. [IT-Lex] * “Her” was an excellent movie — and it might contain lessons for lawyers and the legal profession, as John Hellerman argues. [Hellerman Baretz]

The untold story of the Chipmunks is a tale of law school and aggressive litigation.

* What’s a good excuse for getting out of jury duty? Apparently not “having a heart attack RIGHT NOW!” [Lowering the Bar] * The hits from the CATO amicus brief keep on coming. They commit a footnote to mocking Chief Justice Roberts. [Election Law Blog] * The Attractive Convict is suing over the use of her mugshot in banner ads. Your redemption is coming, Scumbag Steve! [IT-Lex] * David Healey, formerly of Weil Gotshal and currently of Fish & Richardson, is filming a movie based on his earlier book. And it stars Sean Young! That’ll work well. [Times of Sicily] * Does a public-school donor’s request to thank God in an inscription constitute an Establishment Clause violation? [Chronicle of Higher Education] * Supreme Court will hear the case of the NC Dental Board’s efforts to limit the teeth-whitening industry to dentists. Will this ruling spell trouble for state bar associations applying a death grip to all legal services? [WRAL]