Naked

Jennifer Lawrence

In case you haven’t heard, over the weekend a whole bunch of celebrities got hacked and nude photos of them leaked onto the internet. Let me just start out by saying that hacking into a celebrity’s phone and stealing her nude photos is just a horrible thing. It’s not a funny joke. It’s not something hackers should be high fiving over. Celebrities have the right to live private lives like everyone else and they have the right to take and keep private photos. On top of the embarrassment of having their private photos available to their parents and all of their fans and every pervert with an internet connection, it could seriously damage their careers. This should be another big warning slap in the face to everyone who stores private or confidential things on the internet, especially lawyers.

What lessons can lawyers learn from this unfortunate episode?

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Where to even begin?

Models often find themselves in awkward poses. Models whose work borders on the porn industry often find themselves in really awkward poses. The model in this story works in the latter milieu. She’s Elizabeth Dickson, and she models for Playboy. As part of this career, she shoved a golf tee in her tail.

What could possibly go wrong?

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The children of lawyers often drift toward the arts. It’s a whole lot easier to pursue a passion for the theater when you have a privileged upbringing and the support it provides. Plus the kids have a front-row seat for how soul-crushing law can be, so they devote their efforts to staying as far away as possible.

Sometimes the children of lawyers go rogue and appear in Barely Legal.

The subject of this story is bridging the gap between the two. This legal all-star’s daughter is appearing fully nude in a play about an 18-year-old model for Barely Legal seeking a career in porn.

So whose daughter is working her acting assets? We have the answer (and access to some pictures too — fully nude, NSFW-style pictures). Don’t worry, you can click this jump without having your computer set off any alarms, but if you want to see risqué pics, we’ll give you an opportunity…

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Another day, another naked judge. Apparently when you reach the height of your legal career, you completely lose your inhibitions. Today, we’ve got news on a judge who was fired from her position on a high court for her inappropriate behavior.

No, she wasn’t seen in pornographic pictures online, like Madam Justice A. Lori Douglas. It was much more innocent than that — she was exercising and sunbathing naked in her chambers, which happened to be flanked by windows.

As they say online, this thread is worthless without pics. Well, we’ve got one (and it’s safe for work)…

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Circles around the water coolers in offices of the federal judiciary are very busy today. It seems that a rumor is circulating about a prominent conservative judge who allegedly posed for nude photographs before heading to law school. The photos, which made their way to badpuppy.com, one of the largest gay pornography sites on the worldwide web, depict a handsome young man staring into the camera, expressionless, his genitalia fully exposed.

If true, this would not be the first time that a respected jurist has inadvertently revealed what lies underneath their robes. Judge Wade McCree of Michigan bared it all when one of his sext messages was leaked to the public. Madam Justice A. Lori Douglas blushed red as a Canadian maple leaf when nude photographs of Her Honor engaging in bondage acts surfaced online.

On the other hand, if the gossip that is making the rounds is true, it would likely be the first time that a federal judge seated on one of the United States circuit courts has been caught with his pants around his ankles — or in this case, with no pants at all…

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Prowling leopard = cute. Prowling 59-year-olds = gross.

I think we can all agree that Peeping Toms are creepy. We have the internet if you like looking at somebody who is (pretending to be) unaware of a camera recording their intimate moments. I guess what I’m saying is: people who don’t know how to use the internet are creepy.

In Florida, a city attorney is under arrest. He’s accused of being a creeper who was caught prowling around a woman’s home. Naked. And by “around a woman’s home,” I mean that he was allegedly in her bedroom. Naked.

Authorities then Tased the man. Maybe I shouldn’t be so hard on his apparent inability to use the internet to satiate his alleged perversions — after all, the man is 59 years old….

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You’ve been served.

Nudists seem like they’d be pretty chill people. It’s the kind of thing a bunch of aging hippies do when they want to pretend that they’re living in a production of Hair.

That’s why a protracted legal showdown between a nudist resort and one of its residents over swinging, cock rings, and property rights is so unusual.

Catherine Holmes feels the camp has morphed from a free-wheeling celebration of Naturism into a swingers club and hostile environment for children. She wants to sell her cabin and move. Camp administrators think she’s a troublemaker and want to kick her out of her cabin. They maintain that all the sexually provocative things Holmes alleges (some of which she backs with photographic evidence) are just “jokes.”

If everyone agrees that Holmes should move, why can’t everyone just agree to let her sell?

Because there’s no shortage of cojones in a nudist colony, that’s why…

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This column, Lawyerly Lairs, is all about real estate voyeurism. But today’s story emphasizes the voyeurism over the real estate. Let’s hope there are some Rear Window fans among you.

In Cobble Hill, one of Brooklyn’s loveliest and leafiest precincts, the “sexy shower” of one attorney abode has got the neighborhood talking. Lawyers are often focused on minimizing exposure, but neighbors claim that’s not the case for the owners of a beautiful, multimillion-dollar townhouse.

Let’s see what all the fuss is about. It seems that there’s more to this story than meets the eye….

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Victoria Zdrok

Law school tuition has skyrocketed in recent years, and most people wind up financing their legal education by taking out up to six figures in loans to cover the cost of attendance. But because cuddling up at night next to mountains of debt isn’t a pleasant way to live, some people have found more creative ways to pay their way.

Whether it’s by having very rich and generous parents, keeping a day job and going to law school at night, becoming a sugar baby, or working a part-time job between classes, there are many ways to survive without having to fully rely upon student loans.

If those solutions don’t float your boat, you can just take off your clothes and become a Playboy pin-up….

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When it comes to the deposition process, it can get painfully boring for everyone involved. That’s why we love it when deponents spice things up by telling attorneys to “suck [their] dick,” or by accusing counsel of asking “stupid-ass questions.”

Sometimes, even the lawyers get involved in the fun, by drawing pictures of male genitalia or asking probing questions like, “So, your jurisprudential hymen is being ruptured?” We thought that we’d seen it all when it came to deposition antics, but it seems that we were incredibly mistaken.

Has a naked man ever interrupted one of your depositions?

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