NCAA

41YtD+ApH+L* A Saul Goodman Bobblehead. You know you want it. [Amazon (affiliate link)]

* It looks like that Jimmy John’s non-compete agreement we reported on is going to spawn a congressional inquiry. [Huffington Post]

* His dreams of becoming a solicitor were sidetracked when he was “jailed for slapping a sleeping woman in the face with his penis while a friend filmed it on his phone.” Well, yeah that’ll happen. [Daily Mail]

* A bunch of Blackwater guys got convicted. It did astoundingly little to fix the “hiring unsupervised mercenaries” thing. [Redline]

* The final report, drafted by Cadwalader, reveals that UNC’s African and Afro-American Studies department was basically a sham to keep athletes academically eligible. For almost 20 years. I don’t get it, I mean, UNC wasn’t even good for most of those years. [Deadspin]

* Apparently it’s frowned upon for prospective judges to say that someone “would prefer to see [my opponent] remain on the bench since [she] would allow him to have unsupervised visits with his own daughter, in spite of the evidence.” Good to know. [The Times-Picayune]

* Bob Ambrogi interviews David Lat about lawyers and social media. [Legal Talk Network]

* Hey NYC law community! The Young Professionals Leadership Council is throwing a prom at 230 Fifth to raise money to cure Cystic Fibrosis. So break out your formal wear and try to get through this prom without puking out of a limo window. All for a good cause. [Cystic Fibrosis Foundation]

* Former Washington Post editor Ben Bradlee passed away yesterday. Bradlee may be most famous for his role in pursuing Watergate, but fighting the Pentagon Papers case all the way to the Supreme Court helped shape First Amendment law in the latter half of the 20th century. [What About Clients?]

Can you identify this guy?

* Quiz: Can you match the picture of the plaintiff to the landmark Supreme Court decision? [Slate]

* Ninth Circuit expedites Ed O’Bannon appeal. [USAToday]

* New NBC comedy about a law student who becomes a garbage man. Better job security, I suppose. [The A.V. Club]

* The federal prison population declined by about 4800 inmates, giving the United States… well, still the worst incarceration rate in the world, but hey, you’ve got to start somewhere. [ABC News]

* The contract attorney who sued Biglaw is living in his car and considering a career in construction. Perhaps it was a Freudian thing. [Law and More]

* Some philosophy professors are concerned about an individual getting very testy with perceived critics. Anyone want to guess the individual? [Professor David Velleman Homepage / NYU]

* In case you missed it, Howard Bashman’s announcement of our new partnership. [How Appealing]

* Middle school convinces special needs girl to allow suspected rapist to take her into a bathroom so the school can “catch him redhanded.” She gets raped. Judge dismisses the lawsuit saying he wouldn’t “second-guess” school officials. [Al.com]

* Anna Nicole Smith’s estate finally loses its effort to secure a piece of her late husband’s estate. This whole thing was like Bleak House with boobs. [Jezebel]

* Supreme Court halts same-sex marriage in Virginia. So there you go. [ABC News]

* Our old friend the Affluenza kid is back in the news, but this time he’s only a footnote to the story. His father, the one who spoiled him so badly he couldn’t help himself but kill a bunch of people, has been arrested for impersonating a cop. Maybe affluenza is contagious. [NBCDFW]

* The preliminary draft of the proposed amendments to the Federal Rules of Appellate, Bankruptcy, Civil, and Criminal Procedure are available for public comment! So what are you still doing here? [U.S. Courts]

* Lawyer posts a bounty available to anyone who can help him collect on the multi-million dollar judgments he’s secured against a pilfering billionaire. “I’ve spent enough money getting judgments.” Enter Dog the Judgement Bounty Hunter. Go with Christ, Brah.[Forbes]

* Adam Carolla has settled with the patent troll who was suing him claiming they invented the podcast. Details weren’t disclosed, but since Carolla had previously said he wouldn’t settle for any amount of money, I wonder how they sweetened the pot. [USAToday]

* Suspended Notre Dame athletes reportedly considering a lawsuit against journalists who named them as suspects in a cheating scandal. Even though the school itself named them. If the classes they supposedly took were “Pre-Law” or “Basics of Defamation,” then I think the NCAA has a slam dunk case. [FoxSports]

* The extracurriculars that help you get into law school. Debate’s still on there even if the description — at least of the form of debate most Americans practice — sounds more like what a high school drama thinks of debate instead of reality. Less extemporaneous speaking and more “massive, in-depth research and a developing a mastery of electronic research databases.” [InGenius Prep]

* The lingering lawsuit over one of the most devastating hockey hits in recent memory has finally settled. The parties agreed to 5 minutes for fighting and a game misconduct. [ESPN]


Did you say threesome, Dean?

“For sure. It’s the first time I’ve ever followed a court case. Because, I mean, it effects me personally, y’know?”

Scarlett was fiddling with a dildo the size of my arm when she explained to me how the industry felt about it.

“As far as I can tell, and I’m no lawyer, but as far as I can tell? This O’Bannon stuff means amateur pornography is over.”

The student-actress spoke into the webcam with a surprising confidence as she slowly gyrated her waifish body.

“Maybe I won’t make a ton of money. Won’t become rich like the stars do. But it sure would make getting through school easier. Which, I mean, all the producers say that’s what they’re trying to help me with. School.”

“And here’s another thing I think,” she said, her hands now doing something that could only be described as anything but professional.

“I believe in the ideal of amateurism. In the notion of ‘Hey, this is me and this is my real boyfriend and we aren’t getting paid for this.’ I believe in that. But I also could use a bit of money. To buy books. And food. Maybe more lube.” At this, the show stopped and she quickly covered up, suddenly demure and pitiful.

double red triangle arrows Continue reading “The End Of Amateurism?”

Most everyone is talking about how the NCAA got crushed in the antitrust case headlined by former UCLA star Ed O’Bannon. Some have compared it to a top ranked team getting upset by a scrappy mid-major because sports analogies are obligatory when talking about sports cases. That analogy is not really apt. It’s more like the NCAA was a top ranked team that narrowly eked out that win. The mid-major team is rightfully pleased with its effort and the top team can breathe a sigh of relief.

But hanging ominously over the field is that the top team done got EXPOSED. And every team remaining on the schedule is psyched.

Judge Claudia Wilken’s 99-page opinion reads like a body blow to the NCAA — and then her order is a light knee scrape. But everyone else gunning for the NCAA has a lot to quote here….

double red triangle arrows Continue reading “Why The NCAA Didn’t Really Lose Yesterday”

* As I noted yesterday over at Redline, the defense in the NCAA trial is putting up some terrible witnesses. Here’s another example. The NCAA’s expert wrote a textbook. The NCAA might have wanted to check it out before bringing him on to help defend themselves IN AN ANTITRUST CASE. [Twitter / Stewart Mandel]

* Elie and I got in a spirited discussion with Slate’s Jordan Weissmann over my edits to his piece on law schools. And it looks like some outside observers took notice. [Law and More]

* The case for grade inflation. [The Atlantic]

* In Wisconsin, a Scott Walker supporter allegedly voted for his boy 5 times. His defense is ripped from a Days of Our Lives script. [CBS News]

* Our mates at Legal Cheek have the ideal follow-up to our World Cup guide: Which last 16 World Cup team is your law firm? As a QPR fan, I’ll tip my hat to their Harry Redknapp quote. [Legal Cheeks]

* Overpreparing for a simple meeting. [What Should Law Bros Call Me]

* An 11th Circuit PIP nightmare. [South Florida Lawyers]

* Hong Kong lawyers protesting what they see as China meddling. Honestly can you blame China? Ever since Hong Kong let Batman just swoop in and grab that guy, you can’t really trust the Hong Kong legal system. [Reuters]

There are a great many things in this world that are complicated. Fixing a car, for instance, will always involve a great deal of black magic and skills that can only be found in a vanishingly small elect of horrifyingly hirsute types. The hairier the mechanic the better, my mom never said.

Quantum mechanics, french pastry, the resurgent popularity of men’s tank tops. These things are complicated and hell if I can explain any one of them to you. Ours not to reason why; ours to buy a nice little house in Westchester, sock away a little for retirement, eat more roughage.
Compared to these things, law is piece of cake. Which is why coverage of Ed O’Bannon’s lawsuit against the NCAA is a bit confused. Rather than tackling the key question, whether the NCAA is ten pounds of crap in a five pound bag, commentators are wading into the murkiest depths of antitrust law. This is wrongheaded.

Let me explain…

double red triangle arrows Continue reading “Antitrust You? No, No You Cannot.”

Would you wear these to court?

* Hmm, somebody didn’t review those documents quickly enough: the City of Detroit’s bankruptcy trial has been delayed for about a month’s time by Judge Steven Rhodes because the parties needed additional time to get their acts together. [Bloomberg]

* The NCAA may have lost the battle in the Keller EA Sports video games case with its $20 million settlement offer, but it’s clearly out for blood to win the war in the O’Bannon case with its tough cross-examination tactics for the lead plaintiff. [USA Today]

* GW Law, a school that recently increased its class size by 22 percent and allowed its average LSAT score to slip by two points, yoinked its new dean right out from under Wake Forest’s nose. [GW Hatchet]

* The legal profession isn’t exactly diverse, and law schools want to change that — the more pictures of “diverse” students they can display on their websites, the better. [Law Admissions Lowdown / U.S. News]

* Who really cares what prospective jurors wear when they show up for jury duty? The lawyers arguing that being turned away for wearing sneakers affected their clients’ rights in a case, that’s who. [WSJ Law Blog]

A rather cold fish.

* If you’ve ever wondered what’s being said about Supreme Court justices during the vetting process, we’ve got a great one-liner about Justice Breyer, who’s apparently a “rather cold fish.” Oooh, sick burn. [Wall Street Journal (sub. req.)]

* The NLJ 350 rankings are here, and this is where we get to see the big picture about the big boys of Biglaw. In 2013, it looks like headcount grew by 3.9 percent, which is good, but not great, all things considered. Meh. [National Law Journal]

* A Wisconsin judge is the latest to give her state’s ban on same-sex marriage the finger, and she did it with flair, noting in her opinion that “traditional” marriages throughout history were polygamous. [Bloomberg]

* The Ed O’Bannon antitrust case against the NCAA is going to trial today before Judge Claudia Wilken. Since it could change college sports forever, here’s everything you need to know about it. [USA Today]

* According to the Bureau of Labor Statistics, the number of those employed in the legal sector is at its lowest level since the beginning of 2014, with jobs still being shed. Welcome, graduates! [Am Law Daily]

* UC Irvine Law has finally earned full accreditation from the American Bar Association. We’d like to say nice work and congrats, but we’re pretty sure the ABA would fully accredit a toaster. [Los Angeles Times]

We among the chattering classes give short shrift to the effects of those opinions we espouse. Take, for instance, gay marriage. This website was one of many that advocated fairly passionately in support of legal gay marriage. In a vaccum, of course, this was a sound position to take on the matter. In a vacuum, everything just sounds like “VVVRRRRRRGGGRRRRRRRR-WWWWWWWOBBLEOBBLEVVVVRRRRR!!!!”

But we do not live in vacuums, do we kids? No. Our floors are filthy. And so it is that gay marriage is now legal and heterosexuals are forced to break big rocks all day, waiting for the day that their homo overlords stop with the disco dancing and the fornicating. This is the bed we’ve made.

I suppose I should get to the sporting point of this discursion before I lose the 3 or 4 people who read these posts. Of late, the internet and even this small cyber space have beaten up on the NCAA something fierce. The organization — full of sports and money, signifying nothing — is a convenient target for scorn. And the recent drive to unionize the Northwestern football team, covered on this site and others, has galvanized into a sort of fait accompli about the end of amateurism, that traveshamockery of Orwellian gobbledygook. But if the Northwestern football players were successful in their legal fight, what would that really mean? What would the world of college sports look like if the jocks finally avenged their tragic defeat depicted in the non-fiction film Revenge of the Nerds?

Let’s talk powerful athletes…

double red triangle arrows Continue reading “NCAA Stupidity Not Limited To Bureaucrats”

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