New England Patriots

The values that make us strong yet persevere.

Working at Skadden prepares you for being a Pats fan.

* “Impartiality requires fair treatment for both sides, not merely for victims—even victims in a case as horrifying as this one.” Some are calling into question Judge Rosemarie Aquilina’s impartiality during Larry Nassar’s sentencing. [PrawfsBlawg]

* If you’re invited by the Supreme Court to brief and argue a case as an amicus curiae, you better believe that your career in the law is about to take off. [Empirical SCOTUS]

* A few of the New England Patriots visited Harvard Law to learn about inequities in the criminal justice system before securing a spot in the Super Bowl. [Harvard Law Today]

* Maybe your life won’t end if you get bad 1L grades — maybe it’ll be a whole new beginning. [LinkedIn]

* Here are some useful tips on how to avoid getting burned if someone asks you for your salary history when you’re applying for a job. [Corporette]

* Are you a law review nerd, a legal scholar, or professor obsessed with when your latest article will be published? Then you must check out the Law Review RSS Project. [Excess of Democracy]

* Can you get a DUI in a self-driving vehicle? In the future, the answer to this question may depend on how autonomous the vehicle is. [Versus Texas]

Where, exactly, do they use this in commerce?

* “Next thing I know he knocks me over backwards, puts the pillow over me and he cuts my throat and stabs me.” Law firm partner Leo Fisher testified yesterday in the trial against Andrew Schmuhl, the lawyer accused of abducting and maliciously wounding him. We’ll have more on this horrifying testimony later. [Washington Post]

* In a move that’s sure to attract attention (and ire) from the Justice Department’s Antitrust Division, Bayer has offered to buy Monsanto for $62 billion. This may be the largest all-cash takeover in history, so we wonder which law firms will have the pleasure of reaping all the rewards that come with so huge of a deal representation. [Reuters]

* “Can citizens sue the government over climate change?” Great legal minds are divided over the answer to this question. Constitutional law scholar Erwin Chemerinsky says yes, but international law savant Eric Posner says no. Whatever you think is the right answer, it’s time we get more aggressive on this issue. [Room for Debate / New York Times]

* With Ted Olson quarterbacking Tom Brady’s request for an en banc hearing of his four-game Deflategate suspension before the Second Circuit, perhaps this case has a fighting chance. Patriots fans should be praying, because an en banc hearing could result in their QB’s suspension being stayed for the start of the season. [WSJ Law Blog]

* Victims of the Colorado Springs Planned Parenthood attack have filed suit against the clinic, claiming the shooting was both “predictable and preventable.” They say that given the past history of threats of violence against places where abortions are performed, patrons should’ve been alerted that they were at risk of injury or death. [Denver Post]

NFL Commissioner Roger Goodell has become famous for his heavy-handed punishments, but the question is whether any of his punishments are legally binding. Tom Brady certainly doesn't think so.

And for people that say higher education provides no practical skills, may I present Deflategate: The Class.

* Fun fact: Seattle Seahawks QB Russell Wilson’s uncle is the managing principal of of Beverage & Diamond’s D.C. office. Thanks to a gentlemen’s bet, because Wilson’s team lost the Super Bowl, his uncle will have to wear a Gronk or Tom Brady jersey. Ouch. [Legal Times]

* One of the homeless dogs who played in Animal Planet’s 11th annual Puppy Bowl was adopted by Bob Bernstein, a former partner at Kaye Scholer. The adorable Great Pyrenees-mix now leads a life of privilege, as any Biglaw pet should. [New York Post]

* We know all about the former law school dean who was recently arrested on some pretty salacious charges. We’ll have more on this later today. [Dallas Morning News]

* The interim dean of religiously affiliated Liberty Law thinks challenges to the school’s heteronormative honor code are a “concern for the future” — especially since a Canadian Christian law school is under fire for a similar code. [Deseret News]

* It’s not just law schools in the United States that are feeling the pinch of a fewer applicants amid a pathetic legal job market. Japan’s legal education system is also struggling, and some law schools may merge in order to survive. [Japan Times]

* Prosecutors say formal charges won’t be filed in George Zimmerman’s latest aggravated assault case because his current girlfriend recanted her claims, just like his ex did. His lawyer was wrong — his client does have luck with the ladies. [CNN]

* Senate Republicans are contemplating abolishing filibusters for SCOTUS nominees. This could go one of two ways: it could work out nicely for them, or explode in their faces. It’s like a choose your own adventure game. [POLITICO]

* When it comes to the upcoming gay marriage cases before SCOTUS, “[e]very lawyer involved will want to argue.” Remember, when you’re given the chance to make history, you better hope that you’re on the right side of it. [National Law Journal]

* “[I]f there is one decision I would overrule, it is Citizens United.” Even RBG thinks this campaign finance decision is one of the Supreme Court’s “darkest hour[s].” [Salon]

* SCOTUS refused to stay Charles Warner’s execution, but it agreed to grant cert on his lethal injection case days after his death. Better late than never? [New York Times]

* The NFL has drafted Ted Wells of Paul Weiss to blow up the absurd controversy that is “Deflategate.” Come on, who cares if the Patriots cheated again? [WSJ Law Blog]

* Do you know any chronic Biglaw firm-hoppers? How many firms are too many to lateral to? Three? Five? Seven? Jesus Christ, for this guy, try 10 firms. [Am Law Daily]

My this was a busy week. Here's a list of the big-ticket stories that struck my fancy this week.

Rating the criminality of 20 years of NFL draft picks.

During the fallout of the Pats losing the Super Bowl, a girl and a boy met by chance while attempting to catch a cab. The young couple shared the ride home, but perhaps they could have shared much more if only phone numbers had been exchanged. We've wondered in the past if Above the Law readers could crowdsource a lawsuit, but could it work for a budding romance? Let's find out....

* Does your fledgling company need a full-time general counsel? Lance Levy lays out some considerations. [In-House Blog] * Why is Marc Randazza “the most inappropriate man in the world”? Well, how many briefs have you filed with phallus-filled footnotes? (Say that last part ten times fast.) [Popehat] * New England Patriots defensive tackle Albert […]

We’ve done a million Brady blogs. Every one of them, we try to put a different spin on why he’s the best. For this, the pictures we had, that was the spin. — Blogger David Portnoy of Barstool Sports commenting on a visit from the police after he posted a naked picture of New England […]