Non-Sequiturs

  • Advertising, Allen & Overy, FTC, Intellectual Property, Jury Duty, Kids, Non-Sequiturs, Pornography, Technology

    Non-Sequiturs: 08.23.12

    * Austin Tice, a Georgetown Law student, freelance journalist, and former Marine Corps officer, is missing in Syria. We hope he’s okay. [McClatchy] * The nightlife lawyer is already back in the news. He’s repping a new high-profile plaintiff: an NYC cop whose foot got run over by some d-bag in a Ferrari. Make it rain! [Jalopnik] * Former Allen & Overy partner Edward M. De Sear got arrested AGAIN on child pornography charges. We’ll definitely have more on this tomorrow. [The Record] * I understand wanting to eliminate viral ads targeted at kids, but who would I be without all those old Crossfire, Hungry Hungry Hippos, and “Hey, it could happen!” McDonald’s television ads? [Threat Level / Wired] * Jurors in Apple v. Samsung have been deliberating for two days now. I scream, you scream, we all scream — for a verdict. [CNET] * California’s state legislature passed an act that would force law enforcement to get a warrant before gathering GPS or other location-tracking data from cell phones. All you drug dealers, it’s time to re-up on a new burner. [Ars Technica] * I don’t think Esquire means what you think it means. Seriously. You can’t give yourself the title when your law license is suspended. No one cares if you read the magazine or own land. [WSJ Law Blog]
  • Non-Sequiturs

    Non-Sequiturs: 08.22.12

    * Bill Cosby is worried that his likeness will be misappropriated after he dies. But it seems to me like the “Pull Your Pants Up Pudding Pops” will be a great use of his name. [Slate] * John Peter Green’s definition of legitimate rape is now in the Washington Post. [Washington Post] * Oklahoma school dress code bars people from wearing the apparel of out of state colleges and universities. This makes sense, the only reason most people live in Oklahoma is because they don’t have the option to live anywhere else. [Legal Blog Watch] * My only issue with these Gawker unemployment stories is that we don’t know enough about how the people ended up unemployed to begin with. For instance, the “pedigreed lawyer” profiled here claims him lost his job in 2010. But in Biglaw most of the recession based layoffs occurred in 2009. Sure, maybe the guy was stealth laid off, but there could have been a reason for that beyond the generally poor state of the economy. [Gawker] * Is maternity leave getting shorter? Or are women trying to “have it all” more amenable to working through maternity leave? I’ll tell you one guy who won’t be working through his paternity leave. [Adjunct Law Prof Blog] * You know what would be a lot easier than trying to stop “Sweepstakes Cafes”? Legalizing gambling. [WSJ Law Blog]
  • 7th Circuit, Ann Althouse, Benchslaps, D.C. Circuit, Election 2012, Eugene Volokh, Free Speech, Non-Sequiturs, Politics, Rape

    Non-Sequiturs: 08.21.12

    * “Kanye West, Kelly Clarkson, and Nietzsche (figuratively) walk into the Seventh Circuit Court of Appeals. Hilarity ensues.” [FindLaw] * The EPA gets benchslapped by the D.C. Circuit. [Instapundit] * What can law firms learn from… the Cheesecake Factory? Besides how to make people fat; Biglaw’s already great at that. [Adam Smith, Esq.] * If you enjoy gambling or legal hypotheticals, check this out. [Legal Blog Watch] * Professor Eugene Volokh examines the tricky tension between constitutionally protected speech and laws against blackmail. [Volokh Conspiracy] Professor Ann Althouse * Professor Howard Wasserman grades Representative Todd Akin’s apology for his “legitimate rape” remarks — and gives the congressman partial credit for “owning” it. [PrawfsBlawg] * Meanwhile, Professor Ann Althouse wonders: “Would the Democrats oust one of their own because he said one thing wrong?” [Althouse] * Don’t forget: tonight is the nomination deadline for our Lawyerly Lairs contest for the best law firm offices in America. [Above the Law] * Our commenting platform, Disqus, is having issues — which may explain why comments are mysteriously disappearing from the site. We apologize for the problem, which we are investigating. [Disqus]
  • Drugs, Law Schools, Music, Non-Sequiturs, Politics, Pornography, Rape, Sam Sparks, Sports, State Judges

    Non-Sequiturs: 08.20.12

    * So now the judge accused of watching porn from a courthouse computer admits to watching porn on a courthouse computer. Let me just get this out of the way: if I’ve used your computer, it was probably to watch porn. [Chicago Sun-Times] * Too soon for Aurora jokes? I think it’s weird that more people believe in waiting periods for zingers than for handguns. [Tax Prof Blog] * Lance Armstrong’s suit against the U.S. Anti-Doping Agency was dismissed by U.S. District Judge Sam Sparks. How come the only athlete that seemed to get his day in court was Roger Clemens? [Bloomberg] * Another kid is packing in his sports dreams to go to law school. Though, in fairness, one of the few things worse than the law graduate economy is probably the NHL economy. [North Dakota Inforum] * I think Republican political candidates should know by now that they only bands they are allowed to like are country music bands. If they want to like non-country music, they should get the artist’s approval, in writing. Meanwhile, liberals are allowed like all kinds of music, even music performed by people who don’t know what they are talking about. [What About Clients?] * Attorney and rape victim Shauna Prewitt has some facts about rape that apparently Todd Akin didn’t know. [xoJane]
  • Election 2012, Non-Sequiturs, Politics, Racism

    Non-Sequiturs: 08.17.12

    * Don’t you wish there was some way to have a destructive Sharpie Party all over your student loan debt? [CNBC] * Should Romney be on the ballot in Washington State? Some people say “no.” Other people say “Obama is a Kenyan Muslo-fascist who wants to turn America into a communist hunter-gatherer economy.” I say “The jury’s still out on Steve Sarkisian, that is why we’re talking about Washington State, correct?” [The Stranger] * I’m really at peace with the Pennsylvania voter ID decision. Bottom line, it shows that instead of focusing on outreach towards other groups, the GOP is committed to riding this white thing out a little bit more. [Recess Appointment] * Meanwhile, early voting is still a go in Florida. I know it’s the kind of thing that turns Federalists white(r), but would it be so wrong if there was like, one set of voting laws instead of 50? It just feels, I think the technical phrase is f**king stupid, to have 50 different set of laws governing the most fundamental civic activity in a democracy. [Election Law Blog] * The personal injury attorney picked to be the new dean of Saint Louis Law School, Tom Keefe, will “donate” his salary back to the university. In a similar show of good faith, SLU Law students have promised to donate their debts back to Keefe. [St. Louis Business Journal] * I feel like I need a full Brain Tannebaum article explaining how this lawyer doesn’t deserve to live. [California Appellate Report] * Man claims it’s against his “creed” to allow black people to bag his groceries. I sure hope this guy has kids because I want to find out how his religion feels about black people bagging his daughter. [Longview News-Journal]
  • Sponsored

  • Bankruptcy, Biglaw, Breasts, Dewey & LeBoeuf, Movies, Non-Sequiturs, Partner Issues, Privacy, Racism, Screw-Ups, State Judges, State Judges Are Clowns, Technology

    Non-Sequiturs: 08.16.12

    * A St. Louis plastic surgeon has been sued for allegedly posting topless photos of her breast augmentation patients online — with their names attached to the photos. It’s just more evidence that sooner or later everyone will be naked on the internet. [St. Louis Post-Dispatch] * Dewey have enough partners to make the Partner Contribution Plan viable? It seems that we do! [Thomson Reuters News & Insight] * Wow, the miracles of technology. Now if you have a paternity dispute that you need to clear up, you don’t need to go on Jerry Springer. All you need to do is visit your local taco truck DNA testing van. [Legal Blog Watch] * You know that scary feeling when it seems you have forgotten something but you can’t figure out what it is? Well, you forgot your toddler — at the grocery store. There, fixed it for you. [Legal Juice] * Oh boy, another misbehaving state judge. This one, from Georgia, allegedly pre-signed arrest warrants and hit on a woman who appeared before him in court. Sounds like quite the stand-up dude. [Atlanta Journal Constitution] * What are the top five movies all law students should watch? Let the arguing over this list begin… [Greedy Associates] * I’m sure there must have been a legitimate reason for a federal judge to compare the civil liberties of Muslim Americans to a “hideous sea monster,” but c’mon, really? [Chicago Tribune]
  • Defamation, Fashion, Law Schools, Non-Sequiturs, Social Networking Websites, Television

    Non-Sequiturs: 08.15.12

    * Andrew Shirvell questioned himself for over an hour today in defense of himself from Chris Armstrong’s defamation lawsuit. I’m telling you, life is so much easier when you don’t care about a person’s sexual orientation. [Detroit Free Press] * It looks like Boies Schiller somehow filled the spot left by Elizabeth Wurtzel. [Thomson Reuters News and Insight] * Election Law professor Rick Hasen is disappointed with the Pennsylvania voter ID decision today. [Election Law Blog] * Grumpy baby boomer blogs angrily about law and life, a.k.a. my future. [Grumpy Baby Boomer] * How to dress like a female lawyer from a television show. Funny, I didn’t know “breast implants” were a fashion accessory now. [Levo League] * The Daily Caller dug up an article Michelle Obama wrote about critical race theory while at Harvard. She makes some pretty good points, especially considering the perspective of a young black person trying to deal with Harvard Law School in 1988. But I suspect the context of the article, the theory, the history, the university, and everything else will be missed by most of the readers of the Daily Caller. [Daily Caller] * Here’s a new social network for law students. [Indiana Lawyer] * Buy Tyler Coulson’s book (affiliate link), save a dog. You don’t want to kill puppies, do you? [PR Web] * Lat is on a proposed SXSW panel about haw law firms should (and should not) be using Twitter and other social media. I hope firms don’t listen to him, because it’ll make my job easier. [SXSW PanelPicker]
  • Drinking, Law Schools, Law Students, Masturbation, Non-Sequiturs, Summer Associates, Vault rankings

    Non-Sequiturs: 08.14.12

    * Vault just released its rankings for the best summer associate programs. Who’s at the top? I have my money on Fitzpatrick Cella. [Vault] * If Paul Campos were asked to give a law school graduation speech, here’s what he would say. Long story short, I don’t think he’ll ever be asked. And that is why you should read this. [Lawyers, Guns and Money] * What do we want? Booze! When do we want it? Now! Where do we want it? The grocery store! [Courier-Journal] * I don’t know, maybe this guy just really, really loves Jesus. Like, really a lot. Maybe too much. Ewww. [Wave3] * You know those online net price calculators for figuring out tuition? Well, turns out they might be misleading too, just like every other flipping aspect of financing your education. [Inside Higher Ed] * You say tomato, I say tomahto. You say law student, someone else says escort. What’s the big deal here? [Daily Mail]
  • Eric Holder, Fashion, Fashion Is Fun, Lawyerly Lairs, Non-Sequiturs, Police

    Non-Sequiturs: 08.13.12

    * Man brings knife to a gun fight with NYPD. I think we all know how that ended. [Huffington Post] * The House has brought a civil compliant against Eric Holder. In other news, it’s an election year! [Blog of the Legal Times] * Ah, the never-ending quest for the perfect suit for the female attorney. All of the jokes I have right now are sexist. So I won’t make one. But I’m thinking it. [Corporette] * Golf, even mini-golf, remains an excellent way to network. [Asbury Park Press] * It looks like the Oak Creek shootings are going to go down as a hate crime. I care less about why the shooter did it and more that he’s punished. [CNN] * Stop-and-Frisk doesn’t so much work. [DNAinfo] * Don’t forget to submit your awesome office for our Lawyerly Lairs contest. [Above the Law]
  • Dewey & LeBoeuf, Intellectual Property, Law Schools, Non-Sequiturs, Patents, Technology, Trials

    Non-Sequiturs: 08.10.12

    * So, apparently law schools are admitting pretty much EVERYONE now. Because it’s all about the Benjamins, baby. [The Legal Whiteboard] * The most fascinating New York real estate cases of the 21st century. Because home is where your heart — and assets — are. [Commercial Observer] * Dewey want to offer former partners more money so they’ll agree to the proposed settlement? Yes, yes we do. [WSJ Law Blog] * Apple v. Samsung was back in court today. Check out this live blog to stay up to speed. [Mercury News] * An insightful piece giving pros and cons in the ol’ alternative fee arrangement debate. [InsideCounsel] * Want to work at the official law firm for the Olympics? Be prepared to round up Porta Potties and protect endangered newts. Hmm, maybe you should just stick to doc review. [Bloomberg] * Elie Mystal’s No.1 fan. Awww. [Law and More]

Sponsored

  • Movies, Music, Pircher Nichols, Rank Stupidity, Romance and Dating, State Attorneys General, State Department

    Non-Sequiturs: 08.09.12

    * A few weeks back, we mentioned some legal lessons gleaned from Jay-Z’s 99 Problems. Turns out, you might not need law school to become a lawyer. Maybe all you need is a Spotify subscription and a good set of headphones. [FindLaw] * Government security guard finds suspicious bag and stashes it under his desk, where it chills out for a couple of weeks. Oh yeah, I should probably mention — there was A BOMB in the bag. Nice work, Sherlock. [CNN] * If you rat someone out, you might avoid prson. But in Illinois, if you end up in prison, don’t be surprised if you end up with a real rat as a cellmate. Maybe a roach too, if you get particularly unlucky. [WBEZ] * Former Judge of the Day John Wulle, who yelled at a teenager in court and suggested the teen might be “stupid,” just lost his bid for reelection. I think the appropriate statement here is: Stupid is as stupid does. [The Columbian] * I’m pretty sure everyone knows politicians are not exactly truthful all the time. But which politicians are the heavyweight “Liar, liar, pants on fire” champions? [Daily Dolt]
  • Drinking, Non-Sequiturs, Rank Stupidity, Rape, Tobacco / Smoking

    Non-Sequiturs: 08.08.12

    * This guy gets an A for imagination, but he fails the whole “How do you not realize that emergency dispatch will not send you a ride to go on a beer run, even if you call 911 nine times” test. [WCTI12] * You know you’re addicted to cigarettes when you’ll smoke cigarettes that were hidden in a baby’s diaper. Then again, smoking already involves inhaling something covered in s**t. [Legal Juice] * If you think tenants should get screwed because of a landlord who can’t pay his bills, you’re probably a horrible landlord. [The Consumerist] * A 49-year-old attorney is charged with sexually assaulting a 24-year-old woman in her room at the Chicago W Hotel. Bad news Bears. Seriously, ugh. [Chicago Tribune] * Just give me all the foreclosed homes you have. Wait, wait. I worry what you just heard was ‘give me a lot of foreclosed homes.’ What I said was: Give me all the foreclosed homes you have. Do you understand? [My Fox Detroit via Legal Blog Watch] * Whoever produces public-service announcements forgot that not only are drugs bad but so is a propensity toward violent anger. One could argue the latter is more likely to land you in jail. Either way, hilarious. [Buzz Feed]
  • Associate Advice, Drinking, Job Searches, Law Schools, Non-Sequiturs, Technology, Trials

    Non-Sequiturs: 08.07.12

    * A great, great piece by Kashmir Hill on what happens to your Facebook data when you are suspected of murder. [Not So Private Parts / Forbes] * So now the Tulsa law dean is making it sound like the babysitting gig was just one of the many heroic efforts Tulsa undertakes to make sure students can make ends meet while in law school. This from a school that charges $32,056 per year plus another $7,993 for room and board for the privilege of attending the #99 law school in the land. Oh, but presenting babysitting opportunities is a way that the administration can help. [TU College of Law Blog] * This is how 90% of my conversations go when somebody asks me if they should go to law school. The other 10% end in fisticuffs and comfort eating. [Constitutional Daily] * If a law professor uses a hypo this fall based on 50 Shades of Grey (affiliate link), please whip it out (your camera phone) and give us a load (of that hilarious video). [Law Librarian Blog] * Apple and Samsung: they kind of need each other to bring balance to the force. And don’t forget to check out Chris Danzig’s Twitter feed for more trial updates. [iDownloadBlog] * What does one Jones Day hiring partner think interviewees should never do at lunch? Check out his interview on Bloomberg Law below…
  • 9th Circuit, Alex Kozinski, American Bar Association / ABA, Anal Sex / Butt Sex, Gay, Non-Sequiturs, Pornography, Sports

    Non-Sequiturs: 08.06.12.

    * The ABA adopted a rule that law school data must not be “misleading.” That rule of course means nothing unless the ABA has the will to enforce it. [American Bar Association] * Posner, gay porn, and the future of the internet. Oh yeah, you’re clicking on this link. [Hollywood Reporter] * Some Penn State trustees are filing an appeal over their NCAA sanctions. Yeah, because we really want a higher power to take a closer look at PSU. [ESPN] * Alex Kozinski kind of apologizes for the 9th Circuit judicial conference in Maui. Kind of. [9th Cir. via How Appealing] * I was in the opening segment of the new Planet Mancow show with Erich “Mancow” Muller. Apparently, I’m the only guy who thinks an Escape from New York scenario where everybody is armed is a bad thing. [Planet Mancow] * Media bias isn’t necessarily what you think it is. [The Atlantic]
  • Non-Sequiturs, Student Loans

    Non-Sequiturs: 08.03.12.

    * Another month, another underwhelming jobs report. [WSJ Law Blog] * While not a lot of people graduate with six-figures of debt, a whole bunch of them are lawyers. [The Chronicle of Higher Education] * There is a real live fight going on between District Attorneys and criminal defense lawyers in New York. You're not going to believe this but it seems like wrongful convictions really don't seem to be the top concern among area prosecutors. [Simple Justice] * Congratulations to University of New Mexico Law School dean Kevin Washburn on being nominated by Obama to be the next head of Indian Affairs. [New York Daily News] * Bombarding your clients with emails is one way to show them that you care. [What About Clients?] * Juan Williams (who I think I'm supposed to challenge to a duel in order to get his gig on Fox) is just another person pointing out the fraudulent nature of voter fraud claims from the GOP. [Fox News]
  • Airplanes / Aviation, D.C. Circuit, Document Review, john quinn, Murder, Non-Sequiturs, Trials

    Non-Sequiturs: 08.02.12

    * Last year, the TSA was supposed to hold public hearings about those naked body scanners everyone loves so much, but they still haven’t done it (surprise, surprise). Now the D.C. Circuit is starting to get angry. [Wired / Threat Level] * Is there really life, hope, and maybe even an associate position beyond doc review work? This writer thinks so. [Greedy Associates] * Remember the man convicted of murder who claimed that “celebrity angels and demons” told him to do it? His mistress and coworker of has now been arrested and charged as well. [AJC] * This is a comic strip about a bear who also happens to be a lawyer. It is silly but also surprisingly clever, and funny jokes abound. [Bear Lawyer] * Apple fired back at John Quinn regarding his declaration in the Apple / Samsung trial, and then the company filed “an emergency motion for sanctions” with Judge Lucy Koh. I think everyone in this case needs to take a timeout and cool their jets for a while. [Bloomberg] * I mean, the trial is so hostile, the parties can’t even agree on the name of the case. [All Things D] * Who murdered Robert Wone? The mystery looms as large today as it did six years ago. [Who Murdered Robert Wone] * Holy s**t, this is like a real-life, Chinese version of “I’m Oscar! Dot com!” [Slate]
  • American Bar Association / ABA, Death Penalty, Election 2012, Law Schools, Non-Sequiturs, Politics, R. Ted Cruz, Texas

    Non-Sequiturs: 08.01.12

    * The ABA is gearing up for its annual meeting in Chicago. I’ll note (with a lack of surprise) that I was not invited. [ABA Journal] * At that meeting, the ABA will once again consider accrediting foreign law schools. American lawyers have shouted down this idea twice before, but if the ABA has a chance to screw over its constituents it simply must keep trying. [National Law Journal] * Here, we see NYU’s Dean Richard Revesz defend the economic value of an “expensive” NYU Law degree without actually using any economic facts or statistics. [Constitutional Daily] * Please tell me this Ted Cruz character isn’t going to become an ongoing part of my life. [Mother Jones] * Only lawyers could complicate the word “shall” to the point that it loses all meaning. [Legal Blog Watch] * I thought casinos killed you with the expensive gambling, not the free alcohol. [Overlawyered] * Another positive review for Mark Hermann’s Inside Straight. [New York Personal Injury Law Blog] * An interesting conversation with NYU professor David Garland about the death penalty. It won’t kill you to check it out. [Cruel and Unusual]