Non-Sequiturs

* The list of words that you can’t text in Pakistan. There are way more than seven. [Gizmodo]

* No charges have yet been filed against the Yale student who drove a U-Haul truck that killed a person at the Harvard-Yale tailgate. [CNN]

* Now more than ever, you should take time off between college and law school. [AOL Jobs]

* Money is speech for a corporation. But sleeping isn’t speech for a human. [Thomson Reuters News & Insight]

* The Stephen Baum foreclosure mill is closing. The lesson: when you crush poor people, don’t look like you’re enjoying it. [Gawker]

* You know how sometimes guys get dumped by their fiancée and then sue to get the ring back? This guy didn’t have to go through all that, but he did have an awesome plan for the money. [Shortlist]

* Another lawyer joins the new-media world: Richard Chen, formerly of Arnold & Porter, joins the Hedge Fund Law Report as editor-in-chief. [Hedge Fund Law Report]

In happier times. Well, not happier for Bruce Willis.

* When you let anyone with half a brain into law school and key the bar exam at a level where most people can pass it, you’re going to end up with lawyers like these. [New York Personal Injury Law Blog]

* On Southwest, bags fly free, but you are going to pay for your own damn drink. [Contracts Prof Blog]

* Five legitimate ways to tell you are losing your sexual harassment suit. These are all PC ideas, so it doesn’t include all the usual reasons: you’re ugly, you’re a known alcoholic or drug addict, you’re actually terrible at your job. [LexisNexis]

* Here’s why, every now and again, it’s important to read (or even re-read) books, instead of just going on how they are referenced. [Simple Justice]

* I always thought that jargon was the lawyer’s way of saying “this is why my bill is so outrageous.” [An Associate's Mind]

* Mental health in the legal profession. [WSJ Law Blog]

* It’d be kind of funny if Demi Moore replaced Ashton with Charlie Sheen. [TMZ]

* Prop 8 proponents have standing. So, I guess the Ninth Circuit will now be looking at the merits of bigotry? [MetroWeekly]

* Five ways to get your clients to pay you faster. How did “breaking kneecaps” not make the list? [Open Forum]

* Ethics for cops. Not that I agree with her, but if my police force is reading Ayn Rand I’d be happy. Reading for cops > more shooting practice for cops. [Blue for Justice]

* As opposed to figuring out whether or not IMDB should have posted her age, I think this pissed off actress should be speaking out against the double standard that says women age like vinegar while men age like wine — wine that needs a special pill to pop its cork as it gets older. [Not So Private Parts / Forbes]

* We’re still trying to figure out which works of art the Nazis stole from whom and what is to be done about it. Every now and again, it’s important to step back and remember there are the Nazis, and then there’s everyone else. [ArtNews]

* If he keeps this up, Kunta Kinte is going to have to shove the Reading Rainbow right up Herman Cain’s ass to remind him of the hundreds of years leaders fought and died so that black people were allowed to read. [Hufffington Post]

* Happy American Censorship Day! Sign these petitions in celebration so you can keep your internet the way you like it — full of infringing and fabulous content. [Volokh Conspiracy]

* A prospective law student got married at Zuccotti Park this weekend. Best protest wedding ever? I guess the honeymoon ended after they were evicted. [The Stir]

* Before you waste your tears crying over how much your fantasy team sucks, you should probably check and see whether it’s even legal to play. [Legal Blitz]

* Chase is giving away over $3M in grants for small charities, so why not take a second and vote for our friends over at Ms. JD? [Chase Community Giving]

* Using free beer to lure criminals into an arrest trap should be a violation of your right against self-incrimination. They should at least be able to drink it before the cuffs go on. [Legal Blog Watch]

* Have you ever wondered why barristers wear black? Yeah, neither have I. [Futility Closet]

* The attorneys for Justin Bieber’s alleged baby mama, Mariah Yeater, have pulled out. Just like the Biebs should’ve done. Allegedly. [Improper]

* Regular twelve-step programs are for the uninspired. Here’s one that only true professionals will be able to survive. [Constitutional Daily]

* New York journalists were learning all about how NYPD rolls. [Huffington Post]

* If this were a political philosophy class, I’d suggest destroying all the law schools and starting again from scratch. But it’s nice to see how more practical people deal with the issue. [JD Match]

* It’s the birthday of the Articles of Confederation. I like to remember this document as its proof that the Founding Fathers didn’t really know what they were doing. [Oxford Patch]

* From “homemaker” to judge. I kind of think every District should have one judge who had a non-traditional career before the bench. [Northern District of California Blog]

* I’d care more about the Computer Fraud and Abuse Act going too far if I lived in a world where the TSA didn’t already have access to the genital regions of any air traveler. [Gawker]

* Always sad when a gun owner shoots himself. Sad for the Second Amendment. [Underdog]

* Law360′s lawyer “MVP” list = things we’ll be seeing more of as the NBA lockout continues. [Law360]

* A fifth grade girl attacks her teacher for taking her candy, and the mother doesn’t think the child should have been arrested. We agree. I think they should have arrested the mother who’s had years to correct this behavior. [Huffington Post]

* …Speaking of things not to let your daughter do. [The Legal Satyricon]

Enough of the little girls, lets get to the little boys version of NS….

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* I wish I had a government job like working for the SEC or something. Not only would I have had today off, but I could also be grossly incompetent without any accountability. [NPR]

Ponder that while we get to the rest of the links….

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* Can someone give us some good news about women in the legal profession? Please? Come on, this is just sad. [The Careerist]

* Yep, even a bunch of lawyers should be able to identify this as disgusting. [InjuryBoard Kansas City]

* Should they have catering in law school libraries? Great, because the last thing fat-ass law students need is help avoiding the walk to a vending machine or a dining hall. [Life in the Law School Lane]

* The first burning legal question of the day should inspire Biglaw bros to plan a trip to Australia in the very near future. [Legal Blog Watch]

* This isn’t called an inability to take bad news well, but I’m pretty sure it’s called being high on meth. [Legal Juice]

* An app that provides instant criminal background checks on people? And it’s only for Pennsylvania records? Use it on a creepy loverboy (or a creepy boy-lover, as the case may be). [Associate's Mind]

* In Soviet Russia, the booth polls you. [Copyranter]

* Joe Paterno’s legal innocence is irrelevant. [Toy Department / Baltimore Sun]

* But there will be a lot of lawyering to do before Jerry Sandusky is brought to justice or clears his name. [Litigation & Trial]

* Process servers: another job that computers will make extinct. [Lexis Nexis]

* In Flori-duh, they think mens rea is optional. [Overlawyered]

* Women who work jobs where they are likely to be sexually harassed earn more money. If you don’t think about it too deeply, it means slapping a female colleague on the backside while calling her “sugar tits” is actually helping the ladies earn what they deserve. [Washington Post]

* … I say that because I’m not talented enough to engage in “invisible” sexism. [Simple Justice]

* I bet if a Tiger Mother did this, some would praise her aggressive parenting techniques. [Huffington Post]

Julie Taymor will probably make her lawyer give opening statements while suspended from a trapeze high above the courtroom.

* Julie Taymor, former director of Spiderman: Turn Off the Dark, is suing the producers of Spiderman: Turn Off the Dark, for infringing on her creative work. As with so many things in that production, I don’t think this is supposed to be part of the show. [The Hollywood Reporter]

* In this podcast, I give some advice on what to do with your summer, depending on your class year. Remember 1Ls, the summer Club Med jobs fill up fast. [Law School Interactive]

* I didn’t get to weigh in on the Herman Cain thing yesterday, but instead of blaming the alleged victim, I think the Cain campaign should blame the alleged victim’s lawyer. If regular Americans knew what kind of lawyer Gloria Allred was, Cain would be winning in the court of public opinion already. [Huffington Post]

* I always tried to make my memos to file funny. There’s comedy gold in a file at Debevoise should a future archaeologist ever dig it up. [What About Clients?]

* Somebody actually paid attention to Larry Crowne advertising long enough to be offended? [Lowering the Bar / Forbes]

* More women on the faculty lead to more women on the law review. Of course, more women on the law review increases the chances of law review inbreeding, which could one day lead to a race of excellent grammarians who nonetheless burn when confronted with sunlight or skin care products. [Ms. JD]

* Every law student should be on Twitter? Maybe. Things would certainly move faster if every lawyer could make an argument in 140 characters. [Girls Guide to Law School]

* You see how people are reacting to Penn State right now? That’s how people should have been reacting to the POPE for YEARS. Now when are the civil lawsuits gonna start? [SB Nation]

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