Non-Sequiturs

* Christopher Hitchens, author and journalist, RIP. For without him, Kash wouldn’t have an asslobster. [Vanity Fair]

* An interesting and idiotic twist in the UVA burglar case. [Daily Progress]

* I cannot visualize 10 kilos of cocaine, but it sounds like a hell of a party. [CNN]

* IRS tips for your desperate tax deductions — I mean, holiday charity. [Instapundit]

* I thought getting lawyers to really commit to client service was like herding cats. [What About Clients?]

* Girl-on-girl victim blaming. I said “girl-on-girl” so you kind of have to click. [Feministe]

* When your wife is a biter, it’s best to keep her drunk. [Legal Juice]

This guy.

* If you had to choose between letting Jerry Sandusky babysit your kids, or having Joe Amendola represent you, you’d have to think about it for a second. [Simple Justice]

* Here’s how to lose our holiday card contest. [Ross's Law Marketing Blog]

* It’s the Breaking Media holiday party tonight. Here’s some advice on how to network at your firm holiday party. I’m going to do the same thing I always do: drink until somebody stops paying for it, and then rely on friends to put me in a cab. [Young Lawyers Blog]

* David Lat weighs in about the market opportunity for new, start-up law firms. [Betabeat / New York Observer]

* If you serve John Corzine with a lawsuit, he’s just gonna lose it anyway. [Dealbreaker]

* I can’t wait for the part where everybody remembers that frontrunner “Newt Gingrich” is actually… Newt Gingrich. [Five Thirty Eight]

* Now that Chicago has bared it all, isn’t it time for other law schools to fall in line? Show us the stats for the class of 2010 already. [Law School Transparency]

* And this is why your mother told you not to talk to strangers. [Legal Juice]

* If you’re going to send out a survey asking who your bros would like to rape, at least be classy about it. “Surprise sex” just sounds better. [Yahoo!]

* Five useful tips on how to be a better law prof, written by a law prof. Sleeping with students didn’t make the list. [PrawfsBlawg]

* In America, we make television shows about women and their witchy ways. In Saudia Arabia, they just kill them. [Volokh Conspiracy]

* Martin Klotz, outside counsel for SAC Capital’s Steve Cohen, demands that you respect his client. [Dealbreaker]

* Ryan Gosling’s hotness put to good use for law school finals. [Law School Ryan Gosling]

* We should start preparing for the first Skyrim-based lawsuit. [Slate]

* Remember Catholic Witch hunter Rebekah Nett? Now she’s got the Catholic League on her ass. Yep, Super Christ, Bat Priest, Wonder Nun, and Father Flash (is he wearing anything under his robes), are all out to defend Catholics everywhere. [St. Paul Pioneer Press]

* When a hostile deal is not at all hostile, just really, really bitchy. [Dealbreaker]

* Most likely, it was reason and logic that got you into this law school mess in the first place. [She Negotiates / Forbes]

* All lawyers overbill. Except us! Hehe. [Ross's Law Marketing Blog]

* I’m enjoying these updates from a person who is holding on a little too tightly during law school finals. [Life in the Law School Lane]

* Talk about a slippery slope. This guy acts like allowing video at First Street will lead to freestyle rap battles for oral argument. As if lawyers would freestyle that! I’m thinking we’d get some nice, studio-recorded rap stylings. [Huffington Post]

* The real science behind Obama’s Plan B block involves electoral math. [Huffington Post]

* Here’s how it works: if you take Donald Trump seriously, then nobody ever has to take you seriously. [TPM]

* Is taking down the government easier than taking law school finals? [McSweeney's]

* If you are a card-carrying member of the ACLU, do you keep your mouth shut when you go in-house? [Underdog]

* A lawyer claims he was fired for not meeting an “unrealistic” requirement to bill 3,000 hours. Dude, I’ve seen people bill 3,000 hours ethically. What’s unreal is how you see can each hour etched on their faces. [ABA Journal]

* This is way more Gloria Allred than I can usually take in one sitting. [New York Times]

* Help crowdsource the telephone scam. [Popehat]

* Learning to date the Harvard way. [Jezebel]

* Given the disappointing bonuses, it seems worth pointing out that New York City has a greater disparity between haves and have-nots than Brazil. “I know, right, WTF?” says the angry associate. [LBO-News]

* Can somebody explain to me why America hates our freedom? [Lowering the Bar]

* Dharun Ravi rejected the plea deal! It’s on now: either we live in a world where suicide means killing yourself, or we don’t. [New York Magazine]

* Bad lawyer tries to bully his way out of a ticket. [New York Personal Injury Law Blog]

* It’s the law, through Harry Potter, which is fun! I hope there’s a part about how Dobby, the slave elf, eventually sued the Malfoys for false imprisonment and took Draco’s entire goddamn trust fund. [Sui Generis]

* I am sworn to carry your burdens. [Constitutional Daily]

* The Volcker Rule is really confusing. We might need Davis Polk to dumb this bad boy down even more. [Dealbreaker]

* The “success” of Occupy Harvard is truly astounding. Hilarious and astounding. [Space Occupants]

* Protip for Bloggers: Check You Time Stamps. [LA Weekly]

A man whose political career has been declared "over" in three different decades.

* Normally, I’m not sure there’s anything “bad” you can do to prosecutors, but maybe the Lindsey prosecutors deserved better. [Forbes]

* Is Newt Gingrich already breaking the law? Whatever, who cares, it’s not like the people who support him really care about things like that. [WSJ Law Blog]

* I think it’d be funny if the Occupy Boston protesters disrupted a shipment of tea right about now. [Volokh Conspiracy]

* Meanwhile, Occupy Nashville is holding strong. [Young Lawyers Blog]

* Avoiding Nanny Tax problems. [Nanny Pro]

* Police versus plankers. [Legal Blog Watch]

* The champagne of Four Lokos. [Village Voice]

* Rod Blagojevich is sentenced to 14 years but his hair will be out in seven if it behaves. [Sentencing Law and Policy]

* Jerry Sandusky was re-arrested. This dude needs to be put in the Hannibal Lecter cell. Can’t you hear this guy saying, “A pizza boy tried to deliver to my house once. I S’ed his D after luring him with jellybeans and a Good & Plenty.” [Deadspin]

* Has the Leveson Inquiry into News of the World been “hijacked” by celebrities? Aren’t they the only ones that matter? [Lady of Law]

* The RIAA is about as neutral as a spider regarding something it’s caught in its web. [Simple Justice]

* Should being a world-renowned liar get you barred from practicing on character and fitness grounds? [Reuters]

* When going to the dentist feels like going to the spa, you might be spending too much time in the law school library. [Life in the Law School Lane]

* Obama’s pivots on tax cuts show why he’s the Republican frontrunner for the 2012 nomination. [Going Concern]

* I’d say getting stabbed at anger management class was a foreseeable event, and that anger management providers should employ security to lessen the risks. [Legal Blog Watch]

* Married guys make the best stalkers. [Dealbreaker]

* Bryan Cave picks up a firm in Denver. Evidently Tim Tebow makes everything in that city more valuable. [Am Law Daily]

* And Arnold Porter is merging with Howard Rice. I’ll allow one “Rice at the A&P” joke over the next few seconds before I declare them all incredibly lame. [The Recorder]

* MPRE scores are out. Congratulations to those of you who were ethical enough to correctly answer questions on a multiple choice test. Better luck next time if you need to take it again. [MPRE Services]

* Can you trust putting client data on the cloud? [An Associate's Mind]

* All are welcome to join me off the Biglaw train. Trust me, the ride is well worth it. [Forbes / She Negotiates]

* I’m telling you, we aren’t one or two generations away from “civil war deniers” who claim slavery didn’t happen “they way you’ve been taught.” [The Atlantic]

* People who go to Harvard can be mean when they’re trying to be funny. This is not news to anybody who reads this blog. [Just Enrichment]

* The cops still haven’t gotten the memo that policing hippy-dippy white people is bad news for public relations. [Faculty Lounge]

* Sometimes, even if you go to law school for all the wrong reasons, you can still be a winner. And by “a winner,” I mean “saddled with debilitating debt for the rest of your life.” As long as you’re happy in the end, though, right? [Carlotaworldwide Creativity Yenta]

* Sexpionage: it exists. It also means that you’re not as good-looking as you think you are, and all of those beautiful women who seem so into you have some ulterior motives. [Legal Blog Watch]

* An interview with “Getting to Yes” author Willam Ury. Suggestion for next book title: “Getting to… Ugh, I Don’t Even Care Anymore, Just Pay Me.” [What About Clients?]

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