* Everybody is having a pants party today over these five careers U.S. News thinks you can do with a law degree. But here’s the thing, for every one J.D. holder who fills one of these positions despite their law degree, I can name ten people who have the same job and DIDN’T have to waste three years of their lives and more than $100,000 to get the opportunity. Christ on an opportunity Cross, if I had gone to journalism school instead of law school maybe I’d still have this job and be able to use a comma. [WSJ Law Blog]

* If you don’t have a gavel, you can’t be a judge. No really. Not in Utah. I guess they need visual cues out there. [Salt Lake Tribune]

* Underwear gnomes, funny. Underwear Asians, significantly more disturbing. [Montgomery Media]

* I can’t even keep American kids from pursuing law degrees, there is no way I’m stopping foreign students. [Bar and Bench]

* If you are following us on Twitter during tonight’s stump speech State of the Union, here’s a fun drinking game. [Constitutional Daily]

* Judge Wesley Brown (D. Kansas), the longest-serving federal judge in history, just passed away (at the age of 104) — R.I.P. [Wichita Eagle]

Apparently you guys really like seeing “funny” videos about law students even after I’ve subtlety warned you to manage your expectations. Here’s what I was email bombed with today. Can tomorrow please be the day where we get flooded with naked women or something?

double red triangle arrows Continue reading “Non-Sequiturs: 01.24.12″

Keep fighting, Ryan Braun.

* I am rooting for Ryan Braun to become the first baseball player to successfully appeal a positive steroid test. [Milwaukee Journal Sentinal]

* Barack Obama wanted to be a law school dean. Dean Obama would be as oblivious to the problem of rising law school tuition as he is President Obama, only Dean Obama would have a better economic incentive to not care about the issue. [The Faculty Lounge]

* It’s nice when the TSA is polite about inappropriately touching you in public. [Underdog]

* In Texas, they shoot first, and ask for permission later. [Election Law Blog]

* Justice Alito, are you still sticking to the “not true” rebuttal to concerns over Citizens United? [D.C. Circuit Review]

* Dear Americans, stop trying to legislate what other Americans can wear. Christ, we let children walk around with white hoods on their heads every Halloween, and do you see me complaining? [Lowering the Bar]

Based on my unscientific calculations, approximately 6 times 10^5.9052 people have sent us the video embedded below. Please look, at least so that you don’t also send the clip and have to endure the violently angry email I’ve saved as a draft….

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* If you don’t allow strip clubs in New Jersey would that leave the state with, you know, any businesses? [WSJ Law Blog]

* If Obamacare does nothing else, it just made birth control covered the same as Viagra. If that’s not enough to give Obama a three to one advantage among women, I don’t even know what’s happening in this country. [Think Progress]

* A picture is worth a 1,000 words, but Judge Posner only needs to remember two: fair use. [Legal Blog Watch]

* I know it’s hard to believe, but at one time we actually had to fight to keep Alabama from leaving. I’d be willing to let them leave now, but we still might need them in case we have to play college football against space aliens. [Going Concern]

* Honestly, why do so many people in this society think that taking a principled stand is something that can only be done if it’s easy and costs nothing? Taking a stand when it costs you personally is half of the damn point. [Simple Justice]

* Test your legal knowledge and win an iPad2. I killed it. [Practical Law Company]

I believe the defendant failed a saving throw against berserker, so when he killed those people he didn't know right from wrong.

* Dressing shrinks as wizards when they testify would be an AWESOME idea. I’m serious. Why can’t we have this? And titles, too. “Your Honor, I call Dr. Freud — Ph.D in weakness management and keeper of the sacred staffs of Ivory guard — to the stand.” [Overlawyered]

* iTextbooks! Could be awesome, could widen the gap between the rich and the iPoor. [Adjunct Law Prof Blog]

* Old lawyer accidentally smuggles a gun onto a plane, mainly because security — which noticed said gun — forgot to stop her. TSA doesn’t make us more safe, folks. It just makes us more molested. [Daily Mail]

* Apparently, LLMs go great with Brazilians. The people, not the grooming. Or maybe both — I don’t know, but I was only asked about people. [Live Mint]

* To be clear, putting slavery analogies into our math problems is bad… unless you are a college basketball or football star trying to work out how much you got paid in free tuition for last night’s game, versus how much the university made off of the performance of your team. Then the analogy is “apt.” [CBS Atlanta]

* White people problems, written by a former Cahill Gordon associate who quit to take a job in television. [Funny or Die]

* Additional impressive hires by an elite litigation boutique. How long before MoloLamken ends up on somebody’s hot list? [MoloLamken]

If SOPA wins.

* I’ll be more interested in this law firm merger if it turns out that McKenna Long partners have the right of prima nocta when Herbert Smith partners marry. [Am Law Daily]

* Anti-Affirmative Action activist, Ward Connerly, is under investigation for allegedly misappropriating funds. Connerly, who is black, is accused of taking the funds donated by conservatives for the cause and using them for himself. Sorry conservatives, you can have the Affirmative Action that I advocate or you can have Ward Connerly’s perverse version of Robin Hood, but I think it’s going to take a little more than a generation before you can wash your hands of 400 years of racial oppression. [New York Times]

* We are living in a time of Citizens United consequences. He’s a definitive piece on how Anthony Kennedy’s thoughts have affected American politics. [Election Law Blog]

* If we can stop “rogue” websites without SOPA, then there will be no reason to destroy the internet with that awful legislation. [Marketwatch]

* Doesn’t Rick Santorum know that they already tried enshrining a Catholic vision of marriage in a common law system? It led to a fat man murdering a number of attractive women and an entire nation making up a new religion. [The Volokh Conspiracy]

* It’d be great if the Government could hire some lawyers for FCPA enforcement. [Forbes]

* DLA Piper is shaking it up at the top. [Chicago Tribune]

If this guy wins the Republican nomination, we can agree that the Tea Party was totally overhyped, right?

* So, just so we’re all clear, Republicans running for President are no longer on board with the Voting Rights Act. Happy Martin Luther King Day. [Election Law Blog]

* It’s not like there are no more voting issues where we might want to have federal oversight of state laws that affect the electoral power of minorities in states that have been historically opposed to such things. For instance, where do your prisoners live for the purposes of redistricting? [New York Times]

* I’ll tell you what happens in a world where college kids can “major” in law and take the bar, yet law schools still exist: law schools will continue to operate as they have been, and “law majors” will be the new “must get” credentials for paralegals. [WSJ Law Blog]

* Every time I ask this question, I feel like a horrible person. But it’s a legitimate question: what are the legal ramifications when a race car driver dies while performing a sport that is only interesting because there’s a chance somebody will die? [Legal Blitz]

* Why won’t Mitt Romney show us his taxes? We just want to be envious, Mittens! Feed our envy. [Going Concern]

* I think I should be nominated for this public interest award. Nobody has done more to prevent lawyers from being taken advantage of than me. [American Constitution Society]

* Breaking down the Joe Paterno interview. [Atlantic]

* Now these are some guys that believe in the gold standard. [MyFoxDC]

* As Copyranter said when he emailed this link about the iPoo: “C&D coming in 3, 2, 1…” [Copyranter]

Can somebody remind me why this person is famous?

* If you can ignore the fact that Ben Stein is suing over being discriminated against by global warming believers, he’s still a pretty smart guy. [Gawker]

* How long until we just conduct the entire Presidential election via Facebook? [Not-So Private Parts / Forbes]

* Judge Posner gets wonderful cases. [How Appealing]

* Eric Holder is a Democrat? YOU LIE! [Simple Justice]

* Orrick is suing Jon Huntsman’s campaign for unpaid rent. Silly Orrick, if they want to get any money out of Huntsman they have to sue his father and hope and promise to give sonny a job. [Washington City Paper]

* This is a terrible story about a soldier committing suicide. Not terrible enough to change my mind on whether bullies are legally responsible for people who make the tragic decision to take their own lives, but it’s still tragic. [Daily Mail]

* The FBI file of the late Old Dirty Bastard. I hope you like it raw. [The Daily Beast]

Dominique Strauss-Kahn

* Dominique Strauss-Kahn’s lawyer has a challenge for you: “I defy you to tell the difference between a naked prostitute and any other naked woman.” [Dealbreaker]

* It’s not often that Cravath partners leave for other firms, but it happens. Jeffrey Smith, former head of the environmental practice at Cravath, recently decamped for Crowell & Moring. [Am Law Daily]

* Former Bush Administration DOJ official John Elwood, now a partner at Vinson & Elkins, breaks down the Office of Legal Counsel’s recently issued opinion on recess appointments. [Volokh Conspiracy]

* Blawging, Flawging & the Mathematical Theory of Information. Also: what do laser hair removal in D.C. and lemon law in Wisconsin have in common? [Associate's Mind]

* Are Americans finally waking up to the higher education bubble? [Instapundit]

Professor Ann Althouse: birthday girl.

* It appears that Joseph Rakofsky, whose handling of a criminal case drew critical comment, struggles on the civil side too. Justice Emily Goodman returned a proposed order of his with this notation: “Decline to sign. Papers are incomprehensible.” [New York Personal Injury Law Blog]

* If you’re a trusts and estates lawyer or a reader of fiction, consider checking out this well-reviewed new novel by Patrick James O’Connor, which takes the form of an extended last will and testament. [Amazon (affiliate link)]

* Happy Birthday, Professor Althouse! [Althouse]

* Being 15 minutes early to crucial meetings is not all that it’s cracked up to be. [The Ying-a-Ling]

* Law school fiction: possible comic gold, possible Shakespearean tragedy. Check out excerpts from Cameron Stracher’s work in progress. [The Socratic Method]

* The key for women getting ahead in 2012: working for companies that don’t discriminate against women. I mean, it’s underwhelming advice, but voting with their feet is a big thing women can do to improve gender equality in the legal marketplace. [The Glass Hammer]

* It’s a point worth emphasizing: working a full-time job while in law school and doing well at said law school are basically incompatible goals. At least in this day and age. Maybe law school was easier for the Boomers because there was less competition (from, I don’t know, women and minorities). [Constitutional Daily]

* Note that this decision in support of federalism, the subject of a new article by Professor Ilya Somin, came from a unanimous Supreme Court. It’d be nice if Republicans could remember that this election season, instead of calling every progressive a devotee of centralized authority. [The Volokh Conspiracy]

* Is anybody still using Google Plus? Any lawyers? Bueller? Frye? [Legal Blog Watch]

He grows strong off the tears of fired workers.

* There’s a new chief legal officer at Morgan Stanley: Eric Grossman, a former Davis Polk partner, replaces Frank Barron, a former Cravath partner (who joined Morgan Stanley not that long ago; if you know more about this odd situation, email us). [Bloomberg Businessweek]

* Will anybody be surprised if it turns out that Ron Paul likes to fire people too? [Politico]

* Et tu, Bill Kristol? [Weekly Standard]

* How will Citizens United affect the political process? We’re starting to find out. [WSJ Law Blog]

Chief Judge Alex Kozinski

* How often does a federal judge get a shout-out in the announcement of a pop music group’s tour? [The Music Network]

* Or how often does a federal judge go on tour with his own band? [Patently-O]

* Maybe the NLRB should stay the course on protecting employees’ rights to organize themselves using social media. [LexisNexis / Labor & Employment Law]

* Most people will just ignore the balanced budget amendment as proposed by Chuck Woolery (yes, that Chuck Woolery), but on the off chance that somebody actually says to you, “You know, Chuck Woolery has some really good ideas,” here’s somebody who took the time to smack the Chuckster down. [Recess Appointment]

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