Non-Sequiturs

* This is why we are losing to China. [Wall Street Journal]

* Remember a while back when I said that this was Bloomberg’s city and New Yorkers are just living in it? The Mayor agrees with me. [TPM]

* McDonald’s gets around the stupid Happy Meal Ban law like Elie gets to the head of the line the day that McRibs come back. It’s entirely possible that I have Stockholm Syndrome. [Legal Blog Watch]

* Kash found a judge who kind of gets it. [Forbes / Not-So Private Parts]

* Boy, law profs are really pissed about the notion that legal scholarship is overly expensive. [Law Librarian Blog]

* When anti-bullying goes real wrong. [Simple Justice]

* I bet if U.S. News started ranking Law School Career Service Offices, CSO employees wouldn’t be so quick to blame the students. [U.S. News]

* Every time somebody offers to be the internet police, I respectfully decline. [The Trial Warrior Blog]

* We suspected as much: it appears that the “poop tattoo” story is, er, “full of crap.” [The Smoking Gun]

* What’s the first Michael Jackson lyric that Conrad Murray will hear in jail from his fellow prisoners? My vote: “I want to love you, pretty young thing.” [Hollywood Reporter]

* Herman Cain wants the media to get off his d*ck about his alleged extramarital affairs. He’s got plenty of other women who he’s “never acted inappropriately with” for that. [Volokh Conspiracy]

* Anyone can be a law student stripper if they try hard enough, but it takes a special kind of gal to pose as a paralegal and strip for prisoners. [Riptide 2.0 / Miami New Times]

* Corporate socialism and you: a business primer for New York, courtesy of David Cay Johnston. [Reuters]

* The “first ever” original jurisdiction standings? An interesting read if you’re a con law nerd. [Odd Clauses Watch]

* After bopping her on the head with a hatchet, you can be damn sure that your neighbor is never going to let you borrow a cup of sugar again. [Legal Juice]

* Seriously? We’re still deporting gay people who are married? Are there really people who are still in favor of this policy? [Stop the Deportations]

* On the upside, these shoppers can now literally say they got somebody a gift over that man’s dead body. [Huffington Post]

* When did Jed Rakoff become so godlike? [WSJ Law Blog]

* Christmas gifts that you’ll only like if you are a lawyer and already have an iPad. [Constitutional Daily]

* Is your job more interesting than soap for your hair? [Ross's Law Marketing Blog]

* I like the suggestion, by Professor Frank Pasquale, that firms are pushing the “useless first-year” meme to maximize their profits. If true, we should see a bunch of talented first years opening their own shops in 3…2…1… [Balkinization]

* You think it’s hard out here for a pimp? Try being a junior partner. [Am Law Daily]

* Turns out conservatives are just as dumb as liberals when it comes to economics. [The Volokh Conspiracy]

* The problem with non-lethal weapons is that basically too many cops act like children with a new pepper-spray toy. [BoingBoing]

* From Skadden to Pricewaterhouse. Being a tax attorney is so recession-proof. [Going Concern]

* I like how New Jersey thinks itself too morally superior to allow sports gambling. [Legal Blitz]

* The most educated person on the planet is… [Adjunct Law Prof Blog]

Can a Westlaw or Lexis print-out hide your booze stash? I didn't think so.

* Are Asian American lawyers too nerdy to climb the Biglaw or corporate ladder — or is this just an outdated stereotype? [The Careerist]

* Does having your law school sob story featured on national television count as “employed upon graduation”? (Or, more seriously, here’s an opportunity for an unemployed law school grad.) [Inside the Law School Scam]

* A Notre Dame law professor, Mark McKenna, offers some courageous and deeply personal commentary on the Penn State scandal. [Slate]

* How will SCOTUS vote on Obamacare? Two political science professors, Michael Bailey and Forrest Maltzman, offer predictions. [The Monkey Cage via How Appealing]

Ted Frank

* Congratulations to Ted Frank and CCAF on a big win in the Ninth Circuit. [Center for Class Action Fairness]

* Following in the footsteps of its former employee, Gregory Berry, Kasowitz Benson seeks to conquer Silicon Valley. [Am Law Daily]

* In the age of Lexis and Westlaw, hardbound law books still serve a valuable purpose. [Kickstarter]

* It’s a briefcase branded with your favorite team insignia. But real subtle-like, so other people won’t immediately know you are an alpha jock fan boy. But you will. You’ll always know. [The Fandom Review]

* The list of words that you can’t text in Pakistan. There are way more than seven. [Gizmodo]

* No charges have yet been filed against the Yale student who drove a U-Haul truck that killed a person at the Harvard-Yale tailgate. [CNN]

* Now more than ever, you should take time off between college and law school. [AOL Jobs]

* Money is speech for a corporation. But sleeping isn’t speech for a human. [Thomson Reuters News & Insight]

* The Stephen Baum foreclosure mill is closing. The lesson: when you crush poor people, don’t look like you’re enjoying it. [Gawker]

* You know how sometimes guys get dumped by their fiancée and then sue to get the ring back? This guy didn’t have to go through all that, but he did have an awesome plan for the money. [Shortlist]

* Another lawyer joins the new-media world: Richard Chen, formerly of Arnold & Porter, joins the Hedge Fund Law Report as editor-in-chief. [Hedge Fund Law Report]

In happier times. Well, not happier for Bruce Willis.

* When you let anyone with half a brain into law school and key the bar exam at a level where most people can pass it, you’re going to end up with lawyers like these. [New York Personal Injury Law Blog]

* On Southwest, bags fly free, but you are going to pay for your own damn drink. [Contracts Prof Blog]

* Five legitimate ways to tell you are losing your sexual harassment suit. These are all PC ideas, so it doesn’t include all the usual reasons: you’re ugly, you’re a known alcoholic or drug addict, you’re actually terrible at your job. [LexisNexis]

* Here’s why, every now and again, it’s important to read (or even re-read) books, instead of just going on how they are referenced. [Simple Justice]

* I always thought that jargon was the lawyer’s way of saying “this is why my bill is so outrageous.” [An Associate's Mind]

* Mental health in the legal profession. [WSJ Law Blog]

* It’d be kind of funny if Demi Moore replaced Ashton with Charlie Sheen. [TMZ]

* Prop 8 proponents have standing. So, I guess the Ninth Circuit will now be looking at the merits of bigotry? [MetroWeekly]

* Five ways to get your clients to pay you faster. How did “breaking kneecaps” not make the list? [Open Forum]

* Ethics for cops. Not that I agree with her, but if my police force is reading Ayn Rand I’d be happy. Reading for cops > more shooting practice for cops. [Blue for Justice]

* As opposed to figuring out whether or not IMDB should have posted her age, I think this pissed off actress should be speaking out against the double standard that says women age like vinegar while men age like wine — wine that needs a special pill to pop its cork as it gets older. [Not So Private Parts / Forbes]

* We’re still trying to figure out which works of art the Nazis stole from whom and what is to be done about it. Every now and again, it’s important to step back and remember there are the Nazis, and then there’s everyone else. [ArtNews]

* If he keeps this up, Kunta Kinte is going to have to shove the Reading Rainbow right up Herman Cain’s ass to remind him of the hundreds of years leaders fought and died so that black people were allowed to read. [Hufffington Post]

* Happy American Censorship Day! Sign these petitions in celebration so you can keep your internet the way you like it — full of infringing and fabulous content. [Volokh Conspiracy]

* A prospective law student got married at Zuccotti Park this weekend. Best protest wedding ever? I guess the honeymoon ended after they were evicted. [The Stir]

* Before you waste your tears crying over how much your fantasy team sucks, you should probably check and see whether it’s even legal to play. [Legal Blitz]

* Chase is giving away over $3M in grants for small charities, so why not take a second and vote for our friends over at Ms. JD? [Chase Community Giving]

* Using free beer to lure criminals into an arrest trap should be a violation of your right against self-incrimination. They should at least be able to drink it before the cuffs go on. [Legal Blog Watch]

* Have you ever wondered why barristers wear black? Yeah, neither have I. [Futility Closet]

* The attorneys for Justin Bieber’s alleged baby mama, Mariah Yeater, have pulled out. Just like the Biebs should’ve done. Allegedly. [Improper]

* Regular twelve-step programs are for the uninspired. Here’s one that only true professionals will be able to survive. [Constitutional Daily]

* New York journalists were learning all about how NYPD rolls. [Huffington Post]

* If this were a political philosophy class, I’d suggest destroying all the law schools and starting again from scratch. But it’s nice to see how more practical people deal with the issue. [JD Match]

* It’s the birthday of the Articles of Confederation. I like to remember this document as its proof that the Founding Fathers didn’t really know what they were doing. [Oxford Patch]

* From “homemaker” to judge. I kind of think every District should have one judge who had a non-traditional career before the bench. [Northern District of California Blog]

* I’d care more about the Computer Fraud and Abuse Act going too far if I lived in a world where the TSA didn’t already have access to the genital regions of any air traveler. [Gawker]

* Always sad when a gun owner shoots himself. Sad for the Second Amendment. [Underdog]

* Law360′s lawyer “MVP” list = things we’ll be seeing more of as the NBA lockout continues. [Law360]

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