Non-Sequiturs

I will not be in your porno!

* Maybe one of our readers can answer this dude’s question. Do you have any legal recourse if people keep trying to kidnap you and force you to film Saddam Hussein look-alike porn? [Legal Blawg Watch]

* Muslim students not allowed to form Muslim student group at Catholic University. Funny, you’d think the bigger story would be about how illiterate Muslims were tricked into going to a Catholic school. [Professor Bainbridge]

* The Georgia Bar Exam results are out. Congratulations to all those who passed. For those who didn’t, take comfort in the fact that you can eat a delicious peach. [Georgia Office of Bar Admissions]

* New Jersey: keeping Occupy Trenton protesters in the dark with their mouths shut since October 6. Like that’s such a bad thing. [WSJ Law Blog]

* Guys, if you’re going to cheat on your wife, at least do it with some integrity. [Daily Mail]

* If you scroll down far enough, you’ll see a funny bra ad about swaying a jury. But if you scroll too quickly you’ll miss all the other bra ads. [Retronaut via Overlawyered]

* And this one is called “stop lying” or, in the alternative, “don’t fall asleep on your porch while smoking a cigarette when you’re wasted and then wonder why you’re on fire.” [Legal Juice]

* The DOJ’s $16 muffin fiasco didn’t really happen. But that’s probably not how we’re all going to remember it. [TPM]

I was looking for a picture of a hooker, but hopefully this ass will do.

* A tipster says: “The worst thing about the Blackberry outage was having to admit to your clients that you still use a Blackberry.” [Venture Beat]

* Two words: donkey hooker. [The Legal Satyricon]

* Glenn Reynolds has, like, the answer to how we should handle student debts in bankruptcy. [Instapundit via The Volokh Conspiracy]

* Coming after Walmart, round 2. [ABC News]

* The rule of twos for legal staffing. [What About Clients?]

* Is criminal justice equal justice? [Underdog]

* Look, which foreign official do we have to bribe to get our jobs back? [This Week in FCPA]

Leah Ward Sears

* Leah Ward Sears, who shows up on SCOTUS shortlists, wants to impose a mandatory waiting period… on divorces. It’d be interesting to live in a country where you had to wait for a year to get rid of your spouse, but not to buy a gun. [Slate]

* Speaking of marriage…. Tara Reid was maybe engaged to an accountant? [Going Concern]

* Trust me, nobody buys off your ATL bloggers. Without us disclosing it. Because it’s not a bribe if you like money and don’t care who knows about it. [Gawker]

* The study doesn’t say that fat people are more likely to miss work; it says that unhealthy people are more likely to miss work. That’s why I discriminate against thin little stress balls that have a conniption every time they see a slice of chocolate cake. [Business Insider]

* Wait, we have a prison rape elimination act? Did we only just now decide that prison rape should be stopped? But it doesn’t apply to everybody in prisons? I’m so confused. [ACLU: Blog of Rights]

* At least Ken Jennings isn’t going to law school. [Ken Jennings]

* The TSA must be stopped. They’re now leaving creepy notes when they spy personal items in your luggage. [Not So Private Parts / Forbes]

* Law students, trust me, there’s nothing on your Facebook page that three more points on the LSAT won’t fix. [WSJ Law Blog]

* Berkeley Law 1Ls are playing an awesome game of assassin. Man, I miss college. I mean law school. [Nuts & Boalts]

* Would there even be medical malpractice if libertarians ruled the world? [Overlawyered]

* The Casey Anthony jurors are probably dying for a closeup. [Huffington Post]

* The future of Law and Economics. [Truth on the Market]

A war hero comes home.

* Lawyers with four to seven years of experience are apparently now in demand. You know why? BECAUSE THEY FIRED ALL OF THEM TWO YEARS AGO! [WSJ Law Blog]

* Occupy Wall Street is now getting free hugs. It’s like, when you register as a liberal, somebody comes in the night and shoves your testicles back up inside you. [Dealbreaker]

* I dream of a day when eyewitness testimony is viewed as unreliable as DNA evidence is now thought to be reliable. [An Associate's Mind]

* If you are a lawyer, it’s really never about you. [What About Clients?]

Morgan Chu

* Even in the extremely unlikely scenario that one of these radical tax plans is adopted, tax lawyers will still find work. Believe it. [Going Concern]

* Morgan Chu, the hotshot Irell & Manella partner accused of sexual harassment, won a motion to compel arbitration of the dispute. [Law360 (subscription)]

* If you took the “over” on the cold day in Hell when BP is allowed to drill in the Gulf again, you’re gonna lose that bet. [New York Times]

* It’s a bit anticlimactic. And we’ve been pulled apart by political divisiveness. But we are just about done with the Iraq War! Yay? Ticker tape in Times Square, or is it going to be all, “Welcome home, while you were away we misplaced all the jobs and money”? [Politico]

* Another victim of the vengeful prosecution of Tyler Clementi’s roommate might be the guy Clementi was hooking up with when Dharun Ravi broadcast it. [Gawker]

* As I said on Twitter, you have to give Obama a little credit: when he uses suspect legal reasoning to do whatever he wants abroad, he comes home with scalps. [WSJ Law Blog]

* Here’s a job opening for an attorney that might not actually exist. [Constitutional Daily]

* This job opening is much cooler. But, don’t get me wrong, no Cooley grads are allowed to apply. Seriously. [The Legal Satyricon]

* I think the lesson here is there’s no reason anybody should ever want to immigrate to Alabama. [Huffington Post]

* Our thoughts and prayers are with the family and friends of Halley Catherine Shaw, a law student at Texas Southern University who died in a car crash earlier this week. [ABA Journal]

* The American Bar Association is hiring Carol Stevens, former managing editor of USA Today, as its new director of media relations. Yeah, ’cause it’s the media that makes the ABA look bad, not the ABA’s refusal to regulate law schools during a time of dishonesty and profiteering by member institutions. [Poynter]

* Let’s play “count the stupid lawyer stereotypes” in this paragraph, many of which could lead a person into making a grave financial mistake. [Boise Weekly]

* Look, if an animal escapes from a zoo, it wins. It shouldn’t be hunted down and taken back to captivity. That’s just natural law. [Legal Blog Watch]

* Breaking news: if you sign your name on a petition, people might find out you signed your name to a freaking petition. [WSJ Law Blog]

* Pretty awesome collection of t-shirts people are wearing in their mugshots. [New York Daily News]

* Viacom cancels Ted Olson, taps Paul Smith as his mid-season replacement. [Hollywood, Esq. / Hollywood Reporter]

* I’m trying to figure out what this report on parenting styles can tell us about Bonobo_Bro’s upbringing. [Dealbreaker]

* If you’ll be in New York on October 26 and would like to attend a free screening of the new, buzz-generating HBO documentary, Hot Coffee, followed by a conversation between Lat and director Susan Saladoff, click here to RSVP. [New America NYC]

* If a lockout happens in a league nobody pays attention to until April anyway, does it make a sound? [Legal Blitz]

* Above the Law: The Experience. [Faculty Lounge]

* If giving porn to prisoners prevents one rape — one single “this ain’t no fairy tale,” horrible occurrence of serving time for a minor crime, and then getting raped in your rectum — then I think prisoners should have as much of it as humanly possible. [The Legal Satyricon]

* I gotta think the right to robot counsel will herald a great new day in the cause of indigent criminal defense. [The Trial Warrior Blog]

* A man who licked the scraped knee of a woman who fell is getting charged with assault. As he should. Because that is a pervy thing to do, regardless of how many protestations of “I was just trying to help” he makes. [The Smoking Gun]

* Laughing is good for attorneys. Unless it’s directed at judges. [Underdog]

* The real truth is that Bess Levin can’t read. [Atlantic Wire]

* Cornel West has been released from prison. He was arrested earlier while protesting the Supreme Court’s pro-business record. I’m not sure if I even get to call myself a progressive black man without getting arrested for something. Any suggestions on what I should civilly disobey? [The Root]

* Immigrant parents want their kids to be lawyers instead of accountants. Yes, part of being a first generation American involves telling mommy and daddy they have no clue about what they’re talking about. [Going Concern]

* I didn’t even know we had a “stolen valor” act. Even more shocking: this law has nothing to do with the Swift Boat people and what they did to John Kerry. [Legal Blog Watch]

* When technology makes judicial opinions obsolete. [Law & Technology / Forbes]

* Growing too quickly retards profits per partner. [The Economist]

* A settlement between Frank and Jamie McCourt could set up a showdown between Frank and Bud Selig. I think Dodger fans and Met fans should form some kind of support group. [L.A. Times]

* Argue like Yoda, we once did. [Village Voice]

* Welcome to the new lead blogger for the WSJ Law Blog. [WSJ Law Blog]

* This guy suggests that all the Occupy Wall Street people go to law school. Put another way, this guys suggests the single dumbest thing I’ve heard over the course of these entire protests. These people want to be in less debt, not more. I’m putting this in Non-Sequiturs because if I had to write a full post on this, my head my would actually freaking explode. [Cornell Daily Sun]

* I mean, I can’t believe this Cornell guy. Look at his argument. It’s not that I disagree that “clever lawyers” could be helpful for the cause, but going to law school because you want to enact “social change” is exactly how many people end up in debt up to their eyeballs with a degree they don’t even like. Give OWS this iPhone app for getting arrested, not a freaking J.D. [An Associate's Mind]

* At least the OWS people aren’t spending three years procrastinating from the real world at great debt. [Ms. J.D.]

* To say nothing of the fact that lawyers get run over down at Zuccotti park. [Gothamist]

* Why doesn’t he just tell the protesters to light themselves on fire in front of a bunch of schoolchildren? [Slate]

* If you want to hear more about my thoughts on Occupy Wall Street, I’ll be on Mike Huckabee’s show this weekend. I’ll be comparing and contrasting OWS to the Tea Party and debating Phillip Dennis. [Huckabee]

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