Ed. note: We hope you had a nice Thanksgiving. As we mentioned before Thanksgiving, we’ll be on a reduced publication schedule today.
* Randall Kennedy, one of the African-American Harvard Law School professors whose portraits got marked with black tape, shares HLS alum Elie Mystal’s reaction to the incident: he is unimpressed. [New York Times]
* In other Harvard Law news, an HLS librarian got arrested after police claim he tried to arrange a sexual meet-up with a deputy posing as an underage girl in Colorado (site of a librarians’ conference). [Boston Globe]
* Former Supreme Court clerk Brianne Gorod argues that SCOTUS can and should decide Texas’s challenge to President Obama’s executive action on immigration this Term (i.e., before the 2016 election). [Constitutional Accountability Center via How Appealing]
* The SEC just dropped its civil insider trading case against former SAC Capital Advisors LP portfolio manager Michael Steinberg. [WSJ Law Blog]
* Let’s rank the top 10 women Supreme Court justices! Oh wait, there are only four…. [National Law Journal]
* Linda Greenhouse offers her reflections on “Sex After 50” (at SCOTUS). [New York Times via How Appealing]
Are any of these approaches any goofier or less scientific than predicting the upcoming College Football Playoff by using law schools?
Most everyone knows what an elevator speech is: it’s a short, pithy, memorable description of a company’s services. Lawyers have always built their reputations on their expertise, such that the creation of an elevator pitch should be one of the easiest things for an attorney to do; however, many lawyers still stumble over the basic question: “What do you do?”
* Have you all called the Breaking Bad law firm number yet? Because it works, so go for it! [Legal Cheek]
* How to make airlines more profitable: make everyone sit on bicycle seats! [Lowering the Bar]
* Ilya Somin explains why the D.C. Circuit’s interpretation in Halbig isn’t absurd. And it’s not absurd. It just reflects the hilariously cynical conservative opposition to giving their own citizens tax breaks. [The Volokh Conspiracy / Washington Post]
* Ohio State fired its band director amid sexual harassment allegations. To fire a guy, Ohio State must have dotted every “i” in this investigation. [USA Today]
* Speaking of sexual harassment, the Navy’s Blue Angels are the subject of a sexual harassment suit. And somehow it involves a blue and gold penis seen from space. [Slate]
* The Chevron battle over Ecuador continues. Turns out the star witness Chevron paid upwards of $1 million to testify took 50 days of prep to finally get his ever-shifting story straight. [Huffington Post]
* There’s a new book out called Kate’s Escape from the Billable Hour (affiliate link). We haven’t read it, but apparently this tale of “a burnt-out, second-year attorney working in the dysfunctional world of Big Law” mentions ATL. So they definitely did their research. [Amazon]
* Watch a drunk guy give cops a lesson in Con Law. Video after the jump…. [Barstool Sports]
* Remember the chimps seeking habeas? Well, bad news: they’re staying in custody, per an order from Judge Ralph A. Boniello III. Now their freedom is up to the Army of the 12 Monkeys. [Wired]
* Elizabeth Coker has announced she is seeking the office of Polk County Criminal District Attorney. While some may disagree, I think this is a great idea. She’s been directing the litigation strategies of prosecutors for some time now. So why does a judge drummed out of office for texting prosecutors think she should go back into public service? Prayer. Of course. [Polk County Today]
* Judge Steven Rhodes is overseeing the Detroit bankruptcy. He’s not taking any guff off anyone, including an investment banker who pledged that it was “very important” that his firm help the city, prompting Judge Rhodes to point out, “What’s very important to you is to make money.” He’s also a badass rhythm guitarist. [Associated Press via Yahoo!]
* A Colorado judge has declared that a discriminating baker can no longer prevent gay couples from buying wedding cakes. It’s unclear if he’s ordering the baker to stock those stupid plastic cake toppers in groom & groom format. [Consumerist]
* Proofreading law school exams. This article is aimed at law students, but maybe it should be directed toward a certain St. John’s professor… [Law School Toolbox]
* George Zimmerman’s girlfriend wants him out of jail. She originally told police that Zimmerman pointed a shotgun in her face. That’s Princess Bride-level true love s**t right there. [Slate]
* Michigan State celebrated putting Ohio State in its place by setting “at least 57 fires.” Can someone holding a sign encouraging people to “Burn the Couch” be held liable? A better question is whether West Virginia can sue Michigan State for stealing their hillbilly intellectual property? [PrawfsBlawg]
* Sadly, Akerman partner Richard Sharpstein was found dead in his home today. He was 63. [Daily Business Review]
* A few tipsters sent this one in. They claim it’s a law student acting like a jerk trying to buy cigarettes in a drug store. The sound is spotty, so none of us could figure out exactly what was going on, but it’s worth it for the guy who yells: “Yeah, tell him! Tell him when you were born!” Video after the jump….
An aquatic look at which law firms’ alumni have the top spots at the largest U.S. law firms.
Driving the Wienermobile makes a lot more sense than going to law school…
This guy has an invitation to football training camp and a number of law schools. Football is the only choice for a smart and rational economic actor…