Oklahoma

Here’s your fact pattern. You’re a young prosecutor and you get assigned a file for a troubled young woman.

She’s charged with a number of crimes, mostly revolving around meth, because it’s Oklahoma and there’s nothing else to do but meth and trade complaints about Texas.

But then you study the file a little more and see that the woman was caught with a loaded gun. Nothing too surprising there.

In her vagina.

Wait, what?!?

You know what they say, if you outlaw guns jammed in vaginas, only outlaws will have guns jammed in vaginas…

double red triangle arrows Continue reading “Woman Concealed a Handgun… Where?”

* Online gambling wants to come back to the U.S. after the government cracked down last year. Anybody want odds on whether this works? [Wall Street Journal]

* In news that only affects those who want to dress like whores, Abercrombie & Fitch and Hollister may systematically mistreat the disabled. [Fox News]

* Post-disaster price gouging is sad, but inevitable. Oklahoma’s Attorney General E. Scott Pruitt is having none of it. [The National Law Journal]

* Obama will address drone policy and Gitmo in a security speech today because, after the last couple weeks of scandal, he’s hoping to introduce fodder for another round of withering criticism. [Huffington Post]

* The Daily Caller is all over the idea that Michelle Obama may have dated the Inspector General of the IRS at Harvard Law. Which proves… actually, I have no idea if the Daily Caller even knows why this might be significant. [Daily Caller]

* U.S. and Chinese law schools are collaborating more. American law schools are really desperate to open themselves to more students, aren’t they? [China Daily]

* The Jodi Arias jury may not be able to make a decision on sentencing. If you cared about this story at all, you’ve already heard Nancy Grace’s opinion. [NBC News]

* Elie argues with folks about Greece v. Galloway and legislative prayer. Video after the jump…

double red triangle arrows Continue reading “Morning Docket: 05.23.13″

A fireable offense in the UK?

* Our thoughts and prayers go out to the people of Oklahoma. [CNN]

* The IRS and the Treasury Department better watch out, because it seems that the “next logical step” for the tea party victims of heightened scrutiny leads right up the courthouse stairs. [ABC News]

* #Whatshouldwecallme after advising on the $1.1 billion Yahoo/Tumblr deal? Kind of a big deal. The Biglaw firms doing the underlying legal work are Simpson Thatcher and Gunderson Dettmer. [Am Law Daily]

* The Mirena MDL judge thinks female attorneys should be on the all-male executive committee. If this is “strategic gender placement,” the strategy is to look bad publicly. [Thomson Reuters News & Insight]

* The Travers Smith trainee who was fired for getting pregnant is due in court this June to find out what type of compensation she’ll receive for being discriminated against by the firm. You go girl! [Daily Mail]

* Wherein the parents of a 0L who’s got doubts about her employment prospects are counseled that she can “work not just in law.” ::facepalm:: [Law Admissions Lowdown / U.S. News & World Report]

* There’s trouble in paradise: lawyers in the Jodi Arias case unsuccessfully attempted to get a mistrial and withdraw from representation — for the second time — during its punishment phase. [Fox News]

* There’s an interesting take here by Scott Greenfield on Glenn Reynolds’s op-ed suggesting there be a “waiting period” before new legislation to try to make sure everybody at least reads it first. Personally, I’m a little more concerned with getting longer waiting periods before people can buy guns and shoot me. [Simple Justice]

* Funny to see Lindsay Lohan as the plaintiff, instead of the defendant. [Los Angeles Times]

* When reached for comment about the weakness in the U.S. legal job market, clients responded, “Frankly my dear, I don’t give a damn.” [Associate's Mind]

* And now we’re back to the argument that allowing non-lawyer ownership of law firms will magically give clients a better experience. Yes, because whenever I’m on hold with Time Warner, I think, “Man, these business people sure get customer service.” [The Economist]

* R.I.P. Mark Hummels. [Huffington Post]

* It feels like it’s been a while since we made fun of Oklahoma. [Legal Juice]

* After the jump, Bloomberg has a fun video on whether Wall Street should fear Mary Jo White….

double red triangle arrows Continue reading “Non-Sequiturs: 02.01.13″

* Mirror, mirror, on the wall, which is the fairest firm of them all? According to the 2012 Acritas Brand Index survey, the current leader of the Global 100 is the most powerful Biglaw brand for the fifth year in a row. [American Lawyer]

* But that might not last for long, considering the dilemma Baker & McKenzie is facing when it comes to joining the Shanghai Bar Association in China. The firm is one of the first to indicate that it’ll take the plunge. [Wall Street Journal]

* Thanks to the Second Circuit, Rajat Gupta will be a free man on bail pending the appeal of his insider trading conviction. We wonder what Benula Bensam would have to say about this new twist. [DealBook / New York Times]

* Jason Smiekel, the lawyer who pleaded guilty in a murder-for-hire plot involving a former client, was sentenced to eight and a half years in federal prison. The things men will do for HHHBs. [Chicago Tribune]

* Student loan payments: coming to a paycheck deduction near you! Congress is considering an overhaul of the country’s student debt collection practices, and Rep. Tom Petri has some interesting ideas. [Bloomberg]

* The Cleveland-Marshall College of Law is the latest school to hop aboard the solo practice incubator train, but graduates will have to rent their office space from the school. Nice. /sarcasm [National Law Journal]

* “We didn’t file this complaint lightly.” Sorry, Judge Norman, but as it turns out, you can’t just sentence a teenager to attend church for 10 years as a condition of parole without pissing off the ACLU. [Tulsa World]

* When your alterations cost more than your wedding gown, it’s pretty much a given that you’ll have some problems — ones worth suing over, if you’re a true bridezilla (like moi). [Thomson Reuters News & Insight]

Judge Mike Norman

I told my preacher I thought I led more people to Jesus than he had but, then again, more of my people have amnesia. They soon forget once they get out of jail.

– Judge Mike Norman, commenting on the rather unusual sentences he hands down in his courtroom. Last week, Judge Norman gave a 17-year-old who pleaded guilty to manslaughter a deferred sentence, provided that the teen goes to church each week (among other conditions).

David Otunga

* “Enough is enough.” Come on, Togut, did you really think all of the Dewey drama was going to end just because the judge approved your settlement plan? Now he’s trying to get the former partners committee disbanded. This won’t end well. [Am Law Daily]

* Covington & Burling was disqualified from representing Minnesota in the state’s anti-pollution case against ex-client 3M over a conflict of interest. A “conscious disregard” of professional duties? This is 1L stuff, really. [Twin Cities Pioneer Press]

* Remember J. Michael Johnson, the former dean of Louisiana College Law who resigned for a “great job offer” before the school even opened? He’s now senior counsel for the ultraconservative Liberty Institute. [Alexandria Town Talk]

* “If you’ve been hit by a table, ladder, or chair, call David Otunga.” What has this Harvard Law grad turned WWE wrestler been up to, aside from filming commercials at criminal defense firms? [City Sentinel]

* “The argument is absolutely absurd.” An ex-high school coach accused of having sex with a student wants Oklahomas’s ban on student-teacher relationships overturned as unconstitutional. [Alva Review-Courier]

On one level, your name is pretty damn meaningless. Many people aren’t actually called by their names that often. Instead, people just yell: “Dude,” “Hey You,” “Boss,” “sweet cheeks”… whatever.

But on another level, your name is one of a relatively few possessions that are truly yours.

So what happens if your name simply doesn’t fit into who you are? You can change it, right? Sure, unless you happen to be a transgendered person appearing in front of one particular judge in Oklahoma. Ain’t no gender-bending name games in this Judge of the Day’s courtroom…

double red triangle arrows Continue reading “Judge of the Day: What’s in a (Traditionally Gender Appropriate) Name?”

We’ve recently encountered an unusual number of unconventionally-formatted court documents. To name a couple, there was that graphic novellette of an amicus brief, and the Emily Dickinson-inspired judicial order.

Today we’ve got another brief that wouldn’t appear out of place on a Reddit thread.

It’s not high-quality art by any means, but there’s (maybe) something to be said for illustrating your points with clip art of crying babies and crickets chirping.

And besides, isn’t humor the best way to win an argument?

double red triangle arrows Continue reading “Illustrated Court Filing of the Day: The Sound of Silence”

We’ve done a surprising number of stories about law school career service officers who push babysitting gigs on their unemployed students. I say “surprising” because after our first story, you’d think law schools would figure out that law students don’t like being put up for jobs that they could have secured in high school.

Since that first one, most CSO personnel and other law school staffers have figured out that babysitting jobs are best when the employer is a professor or somebody else connected with the law school. Then it’s less of a “career of last resort” and more of “helping out a member of your community” (who happens to be well-connected).

But it looks like one school has regressed to the point of just insulting its students with a babysitting ad that kind of rubs salt in the unemployment wound….

double red triangle arrows Continue reading “Adventures in Babysitting: Does Babysitting Count As ‘Employed Upon Graduation’?”

Page 2 of 41234