Oklahoma

* “There’s no unwritten law that says it can only be done in off years. That’s not in the constitutional text.” Angering armchair constitutional scholars, President Obama vowed to appoint someone to replace Justice Scalia following his death, despite the fact that it’s an election year. [New York Times]

* “My gut tells me there is something fishy going on in Texas.” The fact that Justice Scalia was found dead with a pillow over his head has made conspiracy theorists come out in droves. Some are “stunned” that an autopsy wasn’t performed on the late justice. [Daily Intelligencer / New York Magazine]

* Dickstein Shapiro partners were informed via letter that they’d face “the almost certain loss of all firm capital.” For some equity partners, that’s more than $1 million — and the letter wasn’t even signed “sincerely.” How rude! [National Law Journal via ABA Journal]

* Justice Scalia’s passing could have an impact on the anti-marijuana legalization suit filed by Nebraska and Oklahoma against Colorado. The Court was supposed to discuss it this week, but the justices may not want to overpack their bowls, so to speak. [Guardian]

* Troubled Pennsylvania Attorney General Kathleen Kane will not be seeking reelection after her term expires in January 2017. With her license to practice law suspended and criminal charges pending, we’ll see if she’s even able to make it that far. [WSJ Law Blog]

* Vigilante justice on the internet swift: Despite Google listing the firm as “permanently closed” and its brutal one-star Yelp rating, “Making a Murderer” prosecutor Ken Kratz assured reporters his law firm was still open, contrary to appearances. [Post-Crescent]

* Boutros Boutros-Ghali, former U.N. Secretary General, RIP. [New York Times]

It’s great for the cannabis industry to see the federal government’s number one attorney telling SCOTUS it lacks jurisdiction to hear this case.

* Donald Trump has been having a rollicking good time on the campaign trail as the frontrunner for the Republican presidential nomination, but he may have to take a break to testify in a trademark dispute over “Trump Your Competition.” [WSJ Law Blog]

* It seems that Venable has been dragged into a huge Facebook stock scam, and thanks to a former partner’s alleged conduct, the Biglaw firm is now being accused of assisting a con man in a $11.3 million fraud related to the social media giant’s initial public offering. [New York Post]

* The Obama administration has finally made a move in the SCOTUS case filed by Oklahoma and Nebraska seeking to overturn legal weed in Colorado. Solicitor General Donald Verrilli thinks the justices would have to be high to even entertain it. [Reuters]

* Trinity Western Law grads were previously banned from practicing law in British Columbia, Canada, due to the Christian school forcing students to sign abstinence pledges, but because of this recent ruling, the tides have turned. [NewBostonPost]

* “This will not be the end of the road for solitary confinement reform, but we really think it’s a watershed moment.” Thanks to a $62M settlement, New York will be changing the way it deals with solitary confinement in state prisons. [New York Times]

* After finding out that Justice Scalia was rejected from two of his top-choice schools, the ABA Journal wants you to reflect on your own rejections and acceptances. Where did you apply to law school, and where did you decide to go? Let us know. [ABA Journal]

* Meow! Kitty’s got claws! Lawyers for Grumpy Cat have filed an infringement lawsuit against Grenade Beverage for violating an IP licensing agreement. Grumpy Cat has requested a trial by a jury of her purrs peers. [Fox News]

* Always a bridesmaid, never a bride? Dickstein Shapiro, a Biglaw firm whose headcount was down by 23.2 percent at last count, wanted to have a merger partner by December 15. That date has come and gone, but to our knowledge, the firm still hasn’t found a match. What happens now? [Big Law Business / Bloomberg BNA]

* Fox Rothschild has been in growth mode for quite some time, and it most recently decided to gobble up Oppenheimer Wolff & Donnelly, an 82-lawyer Minneapolis firm. The merger will be complete in January 2016. Happy New Year! [Philadelphia Inquirer]

* “[W]orking in this courthouse is like being in the wild west. You just never know what is going to happen.” Last week, Oklahoma County DA David Prater brought down a fleeing defendant before he could escape the courthouse. [KWTV via ABA Journal]

* If you’re one of the plaintiffs who filed suit pseudonymously against Ashley Madison after its massive data breach earlier this year and you expect your privacy to be maintained by the courts, then you may have another thing coming. [WSJ Law Blog]

* Don’t get accused of a crime you didn’t commit in Oklahoma, turns out they don’t collect fingerprint evidence on the reg. [The Journal Record]

* What those deal toys really mean. [Daily Lawyer Tips]

* Yeaaah, the 1% do get different justice: judge lets embroiled Wall Street CEO Benjamin Wey out of his curfew to watch Swan Lake. [Dealbreaker]

* Is the law equipped to deal with aliens (like the extraterrestrial kind)? [Law and More]

* Kentucky governor Steve Beshear is having exactly none of Kim Davis’s horse hockey. [Wonkette]

* Law firms are still hopelessly stuck in the past. [The Atlantic]

* Vatican officials confirmed — or rather, didn’t deny — that Pope Francis did, in fact, have a secret meeting with infamous Kentucky clerk Kim Davis. Hmm, apparently all it takes is denying people their newfound civil rights to get an audience with the Pope. [WSJ Law Blog]

* The ABA Accreditation Committee will recommend that the ABA approve the merger between Hamline and William Mitchell. The merger byproduct could be operational in 2016 if all goes well. Is this something we should be excited about? [Hamline University]

* On the ninth day of deliberations in the criminal trial of Dewey & LeBoeuf’s former executives, jurors were still unable to come to a consensus, and one juror mentioned she’d have to leave early on October 9. Oy vey! Dewey think this jury is hung? [Am Law Daily]

* Oklahoma Governor Mary Fallin stayed the execution of Richard Glossip — you may recognize his name from his recent unsuccessful Supreme Court case — because the drugs the Corrections Department received didn’t match protocol. Figures. [Associated Press]

* “We are heartened the district attorney has agreed that even a misdemeanor charge would be inappropriate.” Prosecutors will not be charging Caitlyn Jenner with vehicular manslaughter in the fatal car crash she was involved in earlier this year. [USA Today]

* If you’re unsatisfied with your current income-based loan repayment plan, wait until you see what the government has in store for you with its Revised Pay As You Earn plan. Here’s a hint: more pain, more tears, and more anger. [Am Law Daily]

* If you haven’t heard, SABMiller will likely be getting taken over by Anheuser-Busch InBev NV in a “mega-beer merger.” Sadly for Hogan Lovells, SABMiller tossed the firm out like a skunked beer in favor of representation by Linklaters. [WSJ Law Blog]

* Rather than poaching lawyers from other local firms, Jones Day is trying to grow its Detroit office by calling home Michigan attorneys who expatriated from the state. No offense to the firm, but these people probably left for a reason. [Crain’s Detroit Business]

* Slowly but surely, results from the July 2015 administration of the bar exam are being released. Duke Law did best in North Carolina, where the overall combined pass rate for all takers was 69.4 percent (down from 75 percent last year). [Triangle Business Journal]

* With hours to spare, Richard Glossip — a man you may know from the Glossip v. Gross case that was before SCOTUS — was able to secure a last minute stay of execution. An Oklahoma appeals court has given him two more weeks to live. [New York Times]

It is anyone’s guess as to how SCOTUS will handle this potentially critical case of first-impression, and most involved with the marijuana industry are rightfully nervous.

Does a person sentenced to death have the right to be unconscious at the time of his death? No, argues columnist Tamara Tabo.

Shoddy police work and lazy prosecutors now hold more sway over juvenile status than being a juvenile.

SAE did about the only thing that still gets you called "racist" in America.

* Following NBC’s announcement of his six-month suspension without pay, Brian Williams turned to Robert Barnett of Williams & Connolly to save his career. The pair met when they were Supreme Court clerks — oopsie, we guess that’s another misrepresentation. [Am Law Daily]

* “We weren’t about to ask them to risk life and limb to get in.” As Boston braces for yet another snowstorm, Biglaw firms are trying to figure out how they can continue to operate. Punxsutawney Phil is keeping the wheels of justice from turning. [National Law Journal]

* The Supreme Court has granted Colorado an extension to respond to a lawsuit filed by Nebraska and Oklahoma which claims that its decision to legalize marijuana was unconstitutional. Puff, puff, pass this cert vote, SCOTUS. [Cannabist / Denver Post]

* Regulators! Mount up… and then run away to your new Biglaw firms. Preet Bharara’s S.D.N.Y. roster is constantly changing thanks to the golden handcuffs large law firms offer, but Bharara still “love[s] all [his] children equally.” [DealBook / New York Times]

* David Messerschmitt, the DLA Piper associate who was found dead in a Washington, D.C., hotel room last week, is remembered by his colleagues as “someone so talented and so nice.” There have been no new breaks in his murder investigation. [Legal Times]

Ed. note: Due to the Presidents’ Day holiday, we will be on a reduced publication schedule today. We will still be publishing, but less frequently than usual. We will be back in full force tomorrow.

* The news is in, and it seems that Davis Polk’s financial numbers were at record highs. The firm’s revenue beat the $1 billion mark for the first time ever, and its PPP rose to $3.29 million. No wonder its 2014 bonuses were so awesome! [Am Law Daily]

* Yes, we know that William Mitchell Law and Hamline Law are merging to survive as a result of a quickly disappearing applicant pool. We’d really love to know how many other law schools are considering this as an alternative to closing their doors. [Star Tribune]

* How are Nebraska and Oklahoma, which neighbor Colorado, where marijuana has been legalized, handling the situation? Not well. Their AGs want SCOTUS to rule the weed law in the state where you can get Rocky Mountain High is unconstitutional. [PBS NewsHour]

* Thanks to a recent ABA rule change, schools are beginning to admit students without LSAT scores. One of those schools is Iowa Law (ranked in the top 30 by U.S. News), but those students need to have done really well on other standardized tests. [Daily Iowan]

* “How have I done as a judge today?” “Not bad, but you could do better.” Judge John Hurley had a run-in with an 80-year-old criminal defendant who wouldn’t stop calling him sweetheart. Flip to the next page to see the entertaining video. [NBC 6 South Florida]

https://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=mEQp33kr2O8#t=0

Symbolic pandering is the order of the day.

* Still looking for a great gift for your assistant? Corporette presents their annual secretary gift guide! [Corporette]

* Marijuana law may be hot, but marijuana legalization may be in hot water: Oklahoma and Nebraska take their case to the Supreme Court that Colorado’s law is damaging them. [The Denver Post]

* Associates are super excited about their shiny — but discretionary — bonuses. Note that base pay hasn’t taken a similar leap. Thanks for throwing a wet blanket on the season. [Law and More]

* Who are the new lawyers in Congress? Mike Sacks profiles them. [National Law Journal]

* The law firm trying to kill the internet is Jenner & Block. That’s unfair — the law firm employed by people trying to kill the internet is Jenner & Block. And they’re willing to write a whole letter and make a state Attorney General just sign it! That’s some pull. [The Verge]

* At this special time of year, let’s remember who this season is all about: pagans. [What About Clients?]

* U.S. District Judge Algenon L. Marbley just resigned to settle an ethics probe. Not as a federal judge of course, but as a trustee to THE Ohio State University. The Ohio Ethics Commission raised issues with Judge Marbley serving as a trustee while simultaneously teaching as an adjunct at the law school. [Columbus Dispatch]

* Brad and Da Boyz with a nice little ditty about copyright infringement and fair use. [YouTube]

What would you have done if you were in this situation?

* Let’s get ready to rumble! Not wanting to be left out of the party, Oklahoma has also asked the Supreme Court to take a look at its same-sex marriage statute which was recently slapped down by the Tenth Circuit. [National Law Journal]

* Dewey know what financial restructuring adviser Joff Mitchell of Zolfo Cooper said to this failing firm’s partners right before it flopped for good? “Look, there is no way here to save this firm.” Ouch. That had to have sucked. [Forbes]

* The examiner who was appointed to monitor law firm billing for the City of Detroit’s bankruptcy is now questioning Dentons’ fees of up to $27K per month to talk to the press. Whoa there… [Detroit Free Press]

* Working Mother and Flex-Time Lawyers have released the latest ranking of the Top 50 Law Firms for Women. Vivia Chen feels “a bit dirty” after reading the list — and you probably should, too. [The Careerist]

* Leisure Suit Larry’s successors are here to stay for a while: Case Western Reserve Law’s co-interim deans will stay on in their current positions for the upcoming school year. [Crain’s Cleveland Business]

* If you want to become a Supreme Court justice, you can start by attending one of these three schools. The schools that produced the most justices are Harvard Law, Yale Law, and Columbia Law. [TIME]

* Many of the transactional practice areas that took a bruising during the height of the recession, like corporate work, M&A, real estate, and tax, seem to be coming back. Sorry litigators. [WSJ Law Blog]

* Following Oklahoma’s botched lethal injection, another death row inmate has been given a new lease on life — for the next six months — while an investigation is being carried out. [Associated Press]

* Members of the defense team for accused Boston Marathon bomber Dzhokhar Tsarnaev not only want their client’s comments after arrest stricken from the record, but they also want the death penalty off the table. Good luck. [CNN]

* A lawyer was arrested after a school board meeting because he complained for too long about a graphic sex scene in a book his daughter was assigned to read for school. That’s typical. [New York Daily News]

* Donald Sterling may be banned from the NBA, but the recording that placed him on the outside looking in was captured illegally per California law. [The Legal Blitz] * If the NBA owners agree — as expected — to force Sterling to sell the Clippers, it could cost his heirs over $100 million. Let’s feel sorry that megamillionaires might be slightly less megamillionaires. [Slate] * The inimitable Charles P. Pierce with more on the horrifically botched execution in Oklahoma last night. Overlooked in the horror was the constitutional crisis that preceded it — where the very authority of the state supreme court was called into question. [Esquire] * After getting his client acquitted of molesting a child while drunk, a lawyer managed to get arrested for DWI, hours after the verdict. Amazing. [St. Louis Post-Dispatch] * The conservative argument for copyright reform. Seriously, at this point there’s no political philosophy in favor of lengthy copyright terms, so why can’t we change this? Oh, right. Media companies have tons and tons of money. [R Street] * UVA Law funds the first jobs of a bunch of its grads. David Lat weighs in. [C-Ville] * This story could just as easily be entitled “I’m a young Biglaw associate who lives in Williamsburg.” [McSweeneys]

* For the third year in a row, Skadden has topped the list of the Biglaw firms GCs love to pay, the firms with the best brands. Kirkland & Ellis and Latham & Watkins rounded out the top three. Congratulations! [PRWeb]

* A federal judge struck down Wisconsin’s voter identification law yesterday, noting that it “only tenuously serve[d] the state’s interest in preventing voter fraud.” Ouch. Sorry about that, Scott Walker. [Bloomberg]

* Hot on the heels of the release of the second annual ATL Law School Rankings, we’ve got a list of the law schools where graduates reportedly have the least amount of debt. We’ll have more on this news later today. [The Short List / U.S. News & World Report]

* It was kind of like the night of the living dead in Oklahoma last night, where an execution was botched so badly the defendant attempted to rise up off the table. That must have been horrific. [New York Times]

* Here’s an eligible bachelor alert: After being suspended from practice for six months for filming “upskirt” videos of women in public, this in-house lawyer has been reinstated. [Legal Intelligencer (reg. req.)]

* Poor Justice Lori Douglas. Not only are her kinky S&M pictures floating around somewhere online, but the man who took them — her husband, Jack King — just died. RIP, good sir. [CTV Winnipeg News]

* NBA Commissioner Adam Silver, a former Cravath lawyer, fouled L.A. Clippers owner Donald Sterling out of the league, but people are questioning whether his punishment was legal. [WSJ Law Blog (sub. req.)]