Patents

* Overrated: Government surveillance is out of control. Underrated: Government spending massive amounts of money making the Army’s Intelligence and Security Command look like the set of Star Trek: The Next Generation is out of control. [Lowering the Bar] * Helen Wan explains “The 5 Rules Every New Associate Must Know.” Not included: learning all the technical details required to convincingly say your smartphone failed to get that 1 a.m. message. [The Careerist] * Another post in the fascinating series about creating visual maps of Supreme Court doctrine. It’s like a nerdier version of the The Atlas of Middle-Earth(affiliate link). [PrawfsBlawg] * Ilya Somin reviews the Supreme Court’s most recent Takings Clause jurisprudence. It’s a lot harder for the government to take your property away. But don’t worry, it’s still really easy to lose all your property to unregulated markets. [The Volokh Conspiracy] * The Office of the Solicitor General may have inadvertently helped out Frederick Oberlander and Richard Lerner, the two lawyers charged with criminal contempt for talking about a cooperator’s sentence (if you can call a $25,000 fine for admitting to a $40 million fraud a “sentence”) that the feds claim was sealed. [Wise Law NY] * A somewhat sad art show based on requests from prisoners in solitary. Some beautiful stuff here. Though I’d have expected more “Rita Hayworth” photo requests. [Gawker] * The Daily Show takes on biotech patents. Video after the jump…

What do you think about the development of Biglaw positions like "department attorneys"?

Is being a "patent troll" just in the eye of the beholder?

* Congrats to @FenwickWest on landing the big Twitter IPO! #yaylegalfees [American Lawyer]

* The Deal Professor, Steven Davidoff, surveys the legal landscape around the Twitter filing, focusing on the #JOBSAct. [DealBook / New York Times]

* Jamie McCourt, a former family law attorney, strikes out in trying to set aside her divorce settlement with Frank McCourt, former owner of the Los Angeles Dodgers. She’s stuck with $131 million and several luxury homes. #richpeopleproblems [National Law Journal (sub. req.)]

* An inquest reveals that a Hogan Lovells partner who took his own life had warned a colleague that he was going to kill himself the day before his death. [Daily Mail via ABA Journal]

* Good news for the news business: the Senate Judiciary Committee approves a federal media-shield bill. [Washington Wire / Wall Street Journal]

* Nathan Myhrvold, the CEO of a patent holding company, warns that anti-patent-troll sentiment could have unforeseen consequences. [Corporate Counsel]

* Praise in the WSJ for Unprecedented: The Constitutional Challenge to Obamacare (affiliate link), the new book by Professor Josh Blackman (who recently wrote a guest post for us on Supreme Court beauty contests). [Wall Street Journal (sub. req.)]

* Congrats to George Mason Law on its two high-profile hires: D.C. Circuit Judge Douglas Ginsburg and Covington antitrust partner Damien Geradin. [The BLT: The Blog of Legal Times]

* If you’re in New York this weekend, go see Arguendo. Or buy tickets for the 7 p.m. performance on September 22, when I’ll be doing a talkback with artistic director John Collins after the show. Enter the discount code “ABOVE” for $35 tickets (a special rate for ATL readers). [Public Theater]

* The hits keep on coming for Curt Schilling. Now the SEC has woken up and decided to probe the $75 million he secured from the state of Rhode Island (already the subject of another suit). Maybe he can fake another bloody sock to generate some sympathy. [Bloomberg] * Apple sold a “Season Pass” to Breaking Bad Season 5 and then refused to honor the second half of the season to its subscribers, prompting an Ohio doctor to file suit for $20, with hopes of building a class action. Look, Apple needed that money; Tim Cook is desperate these days. [Deadline: Hollywood] * Speaking of Apple, the Federal Circuit looks like it’s going to give Apple another crack at its claim that Google ripped off the iPhone patents, citing “significant” errors on the part of the last judge to rule on the dispute: Richard Posner. You come at the king, you best not miss. [Wall Street Journal] * And last, but definitely not least, Apple’s new fingerprint ID will be the death of the Fifth Amendment. Discuss. [Wired] * A film chock-full of unsanctioned footage and insulting knocks on Disney has been picked up for distribution. This is your official warning that it’s time to prepare the beauty pageant pitch for the Disney execs. [Grantland] * Elie smash, Charlotte Law School. [NPR Charlotte] * The International Association of Young Lawyers conference will feature a speed dating session (on page 6). Really hard-hitting program there. [International Association of Young Lawyers] * Congratulations to the 49 firms honored for meeting all of WILEF’s criteria for Gold Standard certification at today’s awards gala! [Women in Law Empowerment Forum]

A leading intellectual-property litigator finds that switching to plaintiff-side work isn't easy.

* PepsiCo can no longer label its Naked juices as “natural” because the only place you can find more unnatural substances in something naked is in a Vivid Video production. [New York Daily News] * The New Yorker shines a light on the world of civil asset forfeiture. In honor of Shark Week, the article should have spent a lot more time on the United States v. Approximately 64,695 Pounds of Shark Fins case. [The New Yorker] * Thomas J. Kim, the Chief Counsel and Associate Director of the Securities and Exchange Commission’s Division of Corporation Finance since 2007, is going to be a partner at Sidley Austin. Don’t let the revolving door hit you on the way out! [Bloomberg Businessweek] * Whatever happened to Shinyung Oh, author of the incendiary Paul Hastings departure memo? An update. [Capricious Bubbles] * 10 reasons lawyers say the prosecutors botched the George Zimmerman trial. [AlterNet] * As we predicted, the four patent litigation partners leaving Finnegan, as well as six other IP lawyers, are joining Winston & Strawn. [Winston & Strawn] * How do you react when colleagues endorse you on LinkedIn for skills you don’t practice? Take a look…

* “Our graduates have a history of going to small firms, DAs and public defenders’ offices. We don’t have the employment swings that big law schools have because their graduates are focused on more elite firms,” says the dean of law school that costs $185,214 to attend. Certainly all of those students at the District Attorney’s office are making enough bank to pay that off. [Daily Report] * Looking to avoid jury duty? Practice some F-Bombs. [Lowering the Bar] * Copyright carries with it a substantial weakness — most publishers would rather reprint public domain works than deal with authors. [The Atlantic] * 75 percent of IP counsel are either litigating with patent trolls or expect to in the next 12 months. The other 25 percent just represent really sh**ty products. [Consero] * A former attorney is aiming to crowdfund her invention, a 3-in-1 kitchen tool. [Gambas and Grits] * Several State Attorneys General want to make it easier to go after bloggers because narrowly tailored laws are for suckers. [Popehat] * A tipster sent us this from Facebook. This is the best tattoo of Lady Justice ever. Picture after the jump… By the way, if you have pics of other great legally-themed tats, send them to us and we’ll see about crafting a full mash-up post.

* For everyone at the midway point of a bar exam: Here… [Dinmoney] * Naked selfies: Not just for Carlos Danger anymore. A female police officer uses her workday to post naked pictures of herself. [Legal Juice] * Speaking of NYC politics and placing Weiners where they don’t belong, Professor Lawrence Cunningham argues that Eliot Spitzer would be a horrible Comptroller based on his record as New York Attorney General. Cunningham then lists every reason Eliot Spitzer was an awesome Attorney General. [Concurring Opinions] * An appeals court has upheld the ruling that killed Mayor Bloomberg’s large sugary soda ban. Drink up, fatasses! It’s your right as an American. In the meantime, check out this argument over whether the decision contains a curious paradox [PrawfsBlawg] * The Sixth Circuit affirmed an earlier decision dismissing a suit brought by Cooley grads. But they did not repeat the classic, “an ordinary prudent person would not have relied on [Cooley's] statistics to decide to spend $100,000 or more.” [ABA Journal] * After winning Survivor, Cochran has decided to turn his law degree into the most expensive TV screenwriting degree ever. He’ll be penning a sitcom this Fall. [St. Louis Today] * Susan Westerberg Prager, the incoming dean of Southwestern Law School, is the first female dean of a law school… again. [Chronicle of Higher Education] * One doctor. Four different signatures “under penalty of perjury.” I think we’re underestimating the evil quadruplet theory. [New York Personal Injury Attorney Blog] * As someone without kids, I find this fascinating. Popehat has a poll asking readers their thoughts on monitoring the electronic communication of their middle schoolers. As a parent, are you more Edward Snowden or J. Edgar Hoover? [Popehat]

Who are the partners in question, and where are they going?

That "New and Improved" drug coming off patent might just be a cheap trick to get another patent.

* The Zimmerman verdict allows us to sit back and reflect on how bad Atticus Finch really was at his job. [Criminal Defense Blog] * In case you’d forgotten about the shenanigans at Louisville’s Brandeis School of Law, here’s your update: a former employee has been charged for promising students more scholarships than the school had. Rick Pitino needs to show the law school how to work within scholarship limits. [Courier-Journal] * State licensing boards are trying to put the kibosh on advice columnists. Next thing you know, they’ll be trying to shut down Dr. Demento. [Lexington Herald-Leader] * Fun with patents: Monkey Dog Saddle! [Lowering the Bar] * Transgendered workers are successfully challenging workplace discrimination using the Civil Rights Act. These sound like cases Justice Alito will get right on overturning. [Buzzfeed] * McDonald’s is trying to show how it provides its employees a living wage. It just requires working a second job for a total of between 62-74 hours. No biggie. [Lawyers, Guns & Money]

* Size matters when it comes to hourly rates. Because when you work in Biglaw, it’ll be all the more odious for your poor clients when you “churn that bill, baby.” [Corporate Counsel]

* Would you want this Cadwalader cad, a former mail room supervisor, at your “erotic disposal”? The object of his affections didn’t want him either, and she’s suing. [New York Daily News]

* In the wake of the George Zimmerman verdict, the NAACP is pressing for federal charges and a civil suit may be in the works. This trial isn’t over in the court of public opinion. [Bloomberg]

* This experience inspired George Zimmerman, fresh off his acquittal, to go to law school to help the wrongfully accused. If it makes you feel better, when he graduates, he’ll be unemployed. [Reuters]

* Here’s the lesson learned by Prop 8 proponents: If at first you don’t succeed at the Supreme Court, try, try again at the state level and base your arguments on technicalities. [Los Angeles Times]

* You do not want this patent troll — one of the most notorious in the country — to “go thug” on you. Apparently this is just another danger of alleged infringement in the modern world. [New York Times]

* Asiana Airlines is considering suing the NTSB and a California television station over the airing of “inaccurate and offensive” information (read: wildly racist) about the pilots of Flight 214. [CNN]

* Ariel Castro was slapped with an additional 648 counts in the kidnapping case against him, bringing the total to 977. Prosecutors are not yet seeking the death penalty. [Cleveland Plain Dealer]

* Apple has lost the e-books trial. Didn’t see that coming after Apple’s lawyers ripped the government’s witnesses. [New York Times] * Vault released its Regional and Practice Area rankings. Yeah, we get it Wachtell, you’re awesome. [Vault] * Who ever said losing at the Supreme Court was the end? Myriad is suing to enforce its patents in the BRCA1 and BRCA2 genes. [Patently O] * Woman caught on camera planning her husband’s murder because it’s “easier than divorcing him.” Fair enough! [Lowering the Bar] * Senators pledging to block court nominee “irrespective of [her] very fine professional qualifications.” Oh. [The Blog of the Legal Times] * Some jurisdictional nerdiness regarding EPIC’s original filing seeking mandamus, prohibition, or certiorari from SCOTUS to review a FISA judge. [Lawfare]

* A bleak, expressionist write-up of the bar exam experience. If you ever wondered what the subject of The Scream was doing right beforehand, it was apparently “taking the bar exam.” [Law of the Dead] * The traditional summer associate program model needs restructuring. Are you suggesting four-hour lunches are passé? Because… shame, sir, shame. [SSRN] * The sequester is slowing down the patent office. So now the irate patent attorney has something else to blame for not getting his client’s application approved. [Patently O] * As our tipster put it, this may be a statement against interest: Snowden once declared that traitors should be “shot in the balls.” [NY Post] * A breakdown of unconstitutional animus in U.S. v. Windsor. If the author could figure out Justice Kennedy’s train of thought all the way through, kudos! [Associate's Mind] * If you’re ever planning a graduation party, just don’t do this. [Legal Juice] * Examining the misappropriation of trade secrets on Earth-616, and whatever Earth the DC people are in these days. I gave up on them two Crises ago. [Law and the Multiverse] * Federal prosecutors may go after Long Island Power Authority for their poor response to Hurricane Sandy. [Breaking Energy] * And this recap of the Hollingsworth opinion concludes with a GIF that is sure to warm the hearts of many an ATL commenter. [Eff Yeah SCOTUS]

A patent troll you can root for...

According to the Supreme Court, sometimes settling a lawsuit can create an antitrust problem. How?

The first of several major upcoming Supreme Court decisions came down yesterday.

* When SCOTUS cases involve public companies and rulings are misinterpreted, it can lead to some pretty volatile stock performance, as was evidenced by yesterday’s highs and lows for Myriad Genetics of BRCA1 patent fame. [Washington Post]

* The ethics complaint against Judge Edith Jones of the Fifth Circuit has been transferred to the D.C. Circuit after receiving a blessing from the Chief Justice of the United States. Uh oh, that’s serious business if Roberts is involved. [Times-Picayune]

* The number of women working in the NLJ 350 is sad. They make up only one-third of all attorneys working in Biglaw, and we’re stuck celebrating the tiniest positive changes. Sigh. [National Law Journal]

* Proskauer Rose’s former CFO, Elly Rosenthal, settled her $10M disability discrimination suit against the firm in anticlimactic fashion, “without costs to any party as against the others.” [Am Law Daily]

* California is obviously trying to one-up New York with this one. In addition to a 50-hour pro bono requirement, they’re pushing for 15 hours of real-world training before bar admission. [The Recorder]

* Try to stop a man from throwing a pie in your husband’s face and in return you’ll be served with your wifely walking papers a few years later. Aww, Rupert Murdoch is such a kind old man. [Bloomberg]

* How often are you sitting around wondering about all the legal ins-and-outs of the assassination of James Garfield? Wonder no more. [The Legal Geeks] * A love poem with citations to the U.C.C. You know, if you never plan on getting laid again. [Law Poetry] * Justice Kagan dials 867-5309. [Slate] * Underage models in New York are now covered by child labor laws. In related news, American Apparel stops making any ads whatsoever. [Fashionista] * When a bank nixes your merger, just go ahead and do it another way and bury the bank’s opinion. There’s not much the SEC can do about it anyway. [Dealbreaker] * Pepper Hamilton’s Nina Gussack is making it rain. [The Careerist] * Eric Posner has no beef with the NSA. [Constitutional Daily] * States: The New (Patent) Troll Slayers [Slate]