Paul Hansmeier

* Uh-oh! What’s going on at Kirkland & Ellis? Sources say that the firm recently changed its framework for allocating equity partner profits, making deep cuts to some partners’ shares. Litigation partners were reportedly hit so hard by these changes that multiple sources called the situation a “bloodbath.” We’ll have more on this later. [Am Law Daily]

* Talk about a money shot: Attorneys Paul Hansmeier and John Steele, formerly of Prenda Law, have been charged in a “massive extortion scheme” after allegedly uploading porn videos they produced themselves to file-sharing websites so they could then sue those who downloaded the films for copyright violations. [NBC News]

* Kerrie Campbell, the Chadbourne & Parke partner who sued her firm for $100 million over allegations of gender discrimination, has asked a court to dismiss C & P’s counterclaim, referring to the claims therein as “in terrorem tactic” to silence other women at the firm and elsewhere who have similar bias claims. [Big Law Business]

* Here’s a question that far too many law school deans were faced with this fall: “What’s the best way to share a school’s bad bar exam results?” Some chose to be blunt and others chose to be empathetic, but at the end of the day, the news is devastating to recent graduates, so there’s only so much one can really do to soften the blow. [ABA Journal]

* Charleston church gunman Dylann Roof was convicted on federal hate crime charges and is now awaiting the punishment phase of his trial. In case you didn’t know, he’s also waiting to stand trial on state murder charges, which means he’s the first person in the modern era to face the possibility of federal and state death penalty sentences. [Reuters]

* You’ve heard about what it’s like to be a Supreme Court clerk, but we bet you’ve never heard about what it’s like to be a Supreme Court intern. It’s apparently the “opportunity of a lifetime” to do errands and prepare lunch and meals for Justice Sonia Sotomayor. [Supreme Court Brief]

* If you’re trying to file an effective brief with the Supreme Court, it’s best to write in “relatively short sentences, with a non-confrontational tone.” In other words, you really shouldn’t be trying to emulate Justice Scalia’s “jiggery-pokery” flair. [Big Law Business / Bloomberg BNA]

* Wachtell Lipton may interested in going “big brother” on its associates, but when it comes to the Securities and Exchange Commission, the firm wants to steer clear of such voyeurism by doing away with clients’ quarterly reports. [Wall Street Journal (sub. req.)]

* This judge didn’t play “just the tip” when it came to piercing his corporate veil: Paul Hansmeier of copyright-troll firm Prenda Law must pay sanctions to the tune of $64,000 after he drained cash from another one of his firms and then dissolved it. [Ars Technica]

* Texas Tech Law is introducing a “brain-training” seminar for its first-year law students that will “maximize their brains’ performance.” One wonders if they took such a course before law school if they’d be enrolled in the same place. [Lubbock Avalanche-Journal]