Penis Injury

* California AG Kamala Harris gets a profile in Vanity Fair. That’s good, I hear she’s the hottest AG in the country. [Law and More]

* If you have an erection that lasts waaaaaaay longer than four hours, file suit. [Delaware Online]

* A New York-area law student wants a tutor to help with the law review write-on competition. For the low, low price of $35/week. Eh. It’s better than contract work in most markets (in case the link breaks I’ve got a screenshot). [Craigslist]

* What the hell, here’s another job listing. Highlights: Unpaid summer associates, fighting for $12/hour positions, with one voted off the island every few days. The new economy is awesome! (Screenshot here.) [Craigslist]

* Patriarch Partners founder and CEO Lynn Tilton, known for saying, “There are three universal lies: Margins are weak, but we’ll make it up in volume; the check’s in the mail; and I won’t come in your mouth,” prevailed in MBIA’s suit against her. [DealBreaker]

* The federal government has made legalized pot difficult for states. Now the burgeoning pot industry is lobbying Congress to change federal laws to make their jobs easier. Come on pols, it’s time to turn your “pro-business” rhetoric to action. [TaxProf Blog]

* Republican master spin doctor Frank Luntz is looking into how the Washington Redskins could save their name. This all grows out of the efforts of George Washington Law Professor John Banzhaf (second link) to push the franchise to change its name by lobbying broadcasting regulators to penalize broadcasters for repeating the slur that passes for a mascot. [PR-Inside]

* Pennsylvania Supreme Court Justice Seamus P. McCaffery is enjoying an FBI probe into the fact that his wife — and chief aide — earned massive referral fees for sending clients to personal injury firms while working for the court and skirting the rules established by the chief justice. Given the amounts involved, I clearly need to get into the referral business. [Philadelphia Inquirer]

* I’ve given Texas a hard time over the last week, but the Texas Court of Appeals for the First District did a little to redeem themselves with this opinion citing legal luminaries Patsy Cline and Daft Punk. Full opinion after the jump. Relevant cites on Texas Courts. Check it out…

double red triangle arrows Continue reading “Non-Sequiturs: 06.12.13″

* Are associates or partners more maniacally stressed out? Science helps us answer the age-old question. [The Careerist]

* What does it take to land a Supreme Court clerkship? Luck, reputation, and a helluva lot of patience. [ABA Journal and Supreme Ambitions]

* And what should SCOTUS clerks do after they finish at One First Street if they want to make the most money? The answer may surprise you. [Breaking Views]

* As the NFL faces all those concussion lawsuits, America’s other professional football league (yes, the United Football League does exist) is getting sued… for not paying its players. [Forbes]

* An HLS student pleaded not guilty to sexual assault. What is it with all the Harvard Law folks allegedly causing trouble this week? Next thing you know, some Harvard Law grad is going to threaten to murder Big Bird. [Harvard Crimson]

* A veteran is suing the government over his frostbitten penis, which had to be “partially amputated.” Not only is that the second-worst thing I’ve ever heard, it doesn’t even really make sense. [ABC15]

* An ex-law student explains why she quit just a few weeks into the semester. Why? Bullying and backstabbing. Hmmm. That sounds familiar. [A Nerd Girl's Perspective]

* Delaware Bar Exam results are out. Congratulations to everyone who passed! [Delaware State Courts]

Like this, but way, way more terrible.

I’ll be honest, I didn’t really want to write this story because it hurts just to think about it (well, that and knowing all the BikeDude comments I’m going to get). It’s pretty straightforward, at least as far as stories about deaths allegedly caused by penis enlargement injections go.

According to law enforcement allegations, a dude wanted a penis implant, so he paid a woman — who had zero medical training — to inject silicone into his junk. It ended up in his bloodstream, and quicker than a bunny rabbit trying to make love to a balloon, he was dead. Now the woman is being prosecuted for manslaughter.

Welcome to New Jersey!

double red triangle arrows Continue reading “Penis Embolism: A Bad Way to Die or the Worst?”

Do you remember those Viagra commercials where they tell you to seek medical attention if you’ve had an erection for more than four hours? That seems like a logical course of action — after all, it’s sometimes possible to have too much of a good thing. But what happens when you’re not taking an erectile dysfunction medication, and you’ve been standing at attention for an entire day or more? What should you do then?

Well, most men would take to WebMD in a heartbeat if they knew that their junk was at stake. Most men would immediately seek medical attention, regardless of a potentially long wait time at the hospital, because most men are fairly attached to their penises.

But not this man — he waited politely and patiently to find out that his penis was ruined….

double red triangle arrows Continue reading “If You’ve Had an Erection for More Than Twelve Hours, Seek Medical Attention (You Can Always Sue Later)”

* Kleiner Perkins responded to Ellen Pao’s gender discrimination suit, and it’s not pretty. Not only does the firm’s answer deny her allegations, but it also calls into question her work product. [San Jose Mercury News]

* Joe Amendola’s preferred strategy at the Jerry Sandusky trial seems to be the use of the “tried and tested technique” of ignoring all of the alleged accusers’ tears and making them cry all over again. [New York Times]

* Who in their right mind would attempt to fake being a lawyer these days? Michelle Fyfe, a 43-year-old woman from Texas, is accused of forging a law degree from SMU Dedman School of Law. [Dallas Morning News (sub. req.)]

* Say hello to Baltimore Law’s new dean, Ronald Weich, the former assistant attorney general who penned the notorious false gun letter to Congress. Surely this ex-DOJ official will stand up to Bogomolny. [The Hill]

* This must be like getting it caught in your zipper — but much, much worse. A Brooklyn man claims that members of the NYPD “strangled his penis,” so he’s suing. [Huffington Post via Courthouse News Service]

* Reuben G. Clark Jr., a founding partner of Wilmer Cutler & Pickering (Wilmer­Hale), RIP. [Washington Post]