Penis Injury

Non-Sequiturs: 10.04.12

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* Are associates or partners more maniacally stressed out? Science helps us answer the age-old question. [The Careerist]

* What does it take to land a Supreme Court clerkship? Luck, reputation, and a helluva lot of patience. [ABA Journal and Supreme Ambitions]

* And what should SCOTUS clerks do after they finish at One First Street if they want to make the most money? The answer may surprise you. [Breaking Views]

* As the NFL faces all those concussion lawsuits, America’s other professional football league (yes, the United Football League does exist) is getting sued… for not paying its players. [Forbes]

* An HLS student pleaded not guilty to sexual assault. What is it with all the Harvard Law folks allegedly causing trouble this week? Next thing you know, some Harvard Law grad is going to threaten to murder Big Bird. [Harvard Crimson]

* A veteran is suing the government over his frostbitten penis, which had to be “partially amputated.” Not only is that the second-worst thing I’ve ever heard, it doesn’t even really make sense. [ABC15]

* An ex-law student explains why she quit just a few weeks into the semester. Why? Bullying and backstabbing. Hmmm. That sounds familiar. [A Nerd Girl's Perspective]

* Delaware Bar Exam results are out. Congratulations to everyone who passed! [Delaware State Courts]

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If You’ve Had an Erection for More Than Twelve Hours, Seek Medical Attention (You Can Always Sue Later)

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Do you remember those Viagra commercials where they tell you to seek medical attention if you’ve had an erection for more than four hours? That seems like a logical course of action — after all, it’s sometimes possible to have too much of a good thing. But what happens when you’re not taking an erectile dysfunction medication, and you’ve been standing at attention for an entire day or more? What should you do then?

Well, most men would take to WebMD in a heartbeat if they knew that their junk was at stake. Most men would immediately seek medical attention, regardless of a potentially long wait time at the hospital, because most men are fairly attached to their penises.

But not this man — he waited politely and patiently to find out that his penis was ruined….

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Morning Docket: 06.14.12

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* Kleiner Perkins responded to Ellen Pao’s gender discrimination suit, and it’s not pretty. Not only does the firm’s answer deny her allegations, but it also calls into question her work product. [San Jose Mercury News]

* Joe Amendola’s preferred strategy at the Jerry Sandusky trial seems to be the use of the “tried and tested technique” of ignoring all of the alleged accusers’ tears and making them cry all over again. [New York Times]

* Who in their right mind would attempt to fake being a lawyer these days? Michelle Fyfe, a 43-year-old woman from Texas, is accused of forging a law degree from SMU Dedman School of Law. [Dallas Morning News (sub. req.)]

* Say hello to Baltimore Law’s new dean, Ronald Weich, the former assistant attorney general who penned the notorious false gun letter to Congress. Surely this ex-DOJ official will stand up to Bogomolny. [The Hill]

* This must be like getting it caught in your zipper — but much, much worse. A Brooklyn man claims that members of the NYPD “strangled his penis,” so he’s suing. [Huffington Post via Courthouse News Service]

* Reuben G. Clark Jr., a founding partner of Wilmer Cutler & Pickering (Wilmer­Hale), RIP. [Washington Post]

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