Penis

In our dual Lawsuits of the Day, we read about some men who are allegedly having trouble appropriately managing their, errm, manhood...

* Dewey know the firms that have been tapped to represent the groups that this failed firm owes money to? Yes, we do! Brown Rudnick for the unsecured creditors’ committee, and Kasowitz Benson for the former D&L partners. [Am Law Daily (sub. req.)]

* The Ninth Circuit is supposed to be issuing an order today regarding an en banc reconsideration request on the Prop 8 case. They really ought to slap a big fat denial on that motherf’er and call it a day so we get some SCOTUS action. [Poliglot / Metro Weekly]

* Matthew Kluger, most recently of Fried Frank, has been sentenced to 12 years in prison, which is the longest sentence that anyone’s ever received in an insider trading case. Uh yeah, he’ll definitely be appealing. [Wall Street Journal (sub. req.)]

* Hughes Hubbard & Reed has billed more than $17M in the first four months of its work on MF Global’s unwinding. Will the firm will be handing out spring “special” bonuses like they did last year? [Reuters]

* Mattel is appealing MGA’s $310M copyright award, claiming that the judgment was based on “erroneous billing invoices.” Don’t you call my billable hours into question, Kathleen Sullivan. [National Law Journal]

* Jerry Sandusky’s accusers will be named in court thanks to this judge’s ruling. But don’t worry — there’s no tweeting, texting, or emailing allowed in his courtroom. Like that’ll make a difference. [Legal Intelligencer]

* Trust me, I’m a lawyer: a disbarred Colorado attorney somehow managed to scam a convicted con artist out of more than $1 million. Now that’s some pretty sweet karmic intervention for you. [Missouri Lawyers Media]

* A bus driver is suing a hospital because he claims that instead of treating his painful erection, the staff watched a baseball game on TV. Whatever, that was a really great Yankees game. [Associated Press]

When it comes to depositions, we really thought that we had seen it all. But we've never seen an attorney drawing dick pics before...

It’s not every day that you hear about a law professor who allegedly exposed himself to a law student, but today’s just one of those days.

With a myriad of laws being proposed to regulate women's reproductive health, female lawmakers are using sarcasm in an effort to regulate men's reproductive health....

A Harvard Law School building contains the Falik Men's Room. No, we didn't make that up....

[T]his might be a helpful alert to lawyers who are hiring someone to try to promote their sites: It’s possible that the promotion might consist of behavior that is par for the course for purported penis enlargement products, but not really in keeping with the sort of reputation that lawyers generally seek to cultivate. — […]

Here at Above the Law, it seems like we've got a running repository on all of the strange things that employees can do to be fired from their jobs. And whether it's legal or illegal for an employer to do so, we love to report on these firings, because some of them are pretty hysterical. Now, we have a story of a woman who was allegedly fired for wearing a fake penis to work....

Lenny Dykstra was once a famous for being a scrappy center fielder for the Mets and the Phillies. Now he’s more famous for taking the same scrappy approach with the law. In January, Dykstra was accused of sexual assault by his housekeeper. In May, Dykstra was indicted for bankruptcy fraud. Oh, how the mighty have […]

* From one “evil” and “pathetic” woman to another: Dominique Strauss-Kahn is leaving the U.S., but he’ll say bonjour to another rape complaint when he returns to France. [Bloomberg] * Casey Anthony is probably going to owe Florida law enforcement agencies more than a quarter of a million dollars, but even porn companies won’t touch […]

* Does your fledgling company need a full-time general counsel? Lance Levy lays out some considerations. [In-House Blog] * Why is Marc Randazza “the most inappropriate man in the world”? Well, how many briefs have you filed with phallus-filled footnotes? (Say that last part ten times fast.) [Popehat] * New England Patriots defensive tackle Albert […]

* I’m sure the soon-to-be first-year associates out there could use this guide on who to bill their hours to. [Going Concern] * Everybody has advice for when lawyers should step back and remain calm. When is the appropriate time for lawyers to freak out, start screaming and pounding things, and run around saying “we’re […]

We’ve done a million Brady blogs. Every one of them, we try to put a different spin on why he’s the best. For this, the pictures we had, that was the spin. — Blogger David Portnoy of Barstool Sports commenting on a visit from the police after he posted a naked picture of New England […]

Ladies, admit it. Sometimes you dream of going back in time to the days where damsels in distress were rescued by swashbuckling romantics on noble steeds. But in today’s day and age, there seems to be a shortage of heroic knights. And that’s mostly because the crop of men with swords handy leave certain things […]

If the allegations are true, one sitting judge and one former judge have been very naughty boys. Let's find out what they stand accused of....

* Wait, having your boss walk in screaming “Penis, Penis, Penis” doesn’t happen in every place of business? [Jezebel] * Dominique Strauss-Kahn’s case has been adjourned until August. [Thomson Reuters] * Yeah, well I told the phone what to do, so maybe I’m the “smart” one, and the phone has just gotten better at listening […]

The phone’s been ringing off the hook here at the Circumcision Law Desk all weekend, so I apologize in advance if this post comes off sounding a bit distracted. Oftentimes, the intersection of foreskin and law is a lonely corridor filled with nothing but shattered dreams and crying babies. A screaming anti-semitism comes across the […]

It’s been pretty slow here at the Above the Law circumcision law desk. So slow, in fact, that Lat has considered putting me on another assignment: “There’s just not enough news surrounding the intersection of foreskin and the legal community. While I appreciate your enthusiasm for the amusing dong beat…I don’t know if the financials […]

Protip: Don’t look up the Wikipedia entry for foreskin. Don’t do it even if you have to write a post about a baby who was given a circumcision against his parents’ wishes. Vera Delgado, the baby’s mother, had left the hospital to shower and get a change of clothes. Just long enough for Nurse Ratched […]

* “They used to call me Crazy Joe, now they can call me the Batman.” [Bad Lawyer] * Is it really so hard to imagine that young, talented, hard-working individuals would rather start their careers instead of sitting around for a year while being fed $80,000 to stunt their professional growth? [The Economist] * E-marriage […]