Perverts
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Crime, Nude Dancing
How Can You Get A Case Continued When Your Client Is Half-Naked?
Res ipsa loquitur, Your Honor. -
Morning Docket
Morning Docket: 11.20.15
* Jared Fogle, Subway’s former spokesman, pleaded guilty to federal charges related to sex with minors and child pornography, and was sentenced to more than 15 years in prison. His creative defense? Losing weight on the Subway diet made him choose to erm… “eat fresh.” Yuck. [Washington Post]
* Biglaw firms have been announcing their new partnership classes over the past few weeks, and it goes without saying that the vast majority of new partners attended highly ranked law schools. Take a wild guess at which school was the most represented. [Big Law Business / Bloomberg BNA]
* Per the latest report from the NALP, women and African-Americans continue to falter in their career progress at Biglaw firms. James Leipold says it’s “troubling” that the numbers are “reversing course.” We couldn’t agree more. [DealBook / New York Times]
* UnitedHealth recently announced that it expects to suffer in terms of its insurance sales under the Affordable Care Act, and has gone so far as to threaten that it may pull out of the exchange. Here are five things you need to know about that. [WSJ Law Blog]
* One of the members of Survivor filed a copyright infringement suit against Mike Huckabee’s presidential campaign after the song “Eye of the Tiger” was played during a rally held for Kentucky clerk Kim Davis. Now it’s stuck in your head. Welcome! [Reuters]
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Morning Docket
Morning Docket: 11.06.15
* Law school admissions standards have plummeted and bar exam passage rates are circling the drain. This can only mean one thing: an army of dumb would-be lawyers whose degrees aren’t worth the paper they’re printed on will “become criminals themselves — robbing liquor stores, grabbing old ladies’ handbags, selling derivatives.” [Wall Street Journal]
* A Pennsylvania attorney was charged with 10 counts of possession of child pornography after it was discovered that he was downloading the images at his law firm. Protip: Don’t leave pictures of nude boys engaged in sexual acts in the copier tray. [The Reporter]
* Law firms where older partners refuse to pass the baton may be in trouble. “Some law firms could crumble after this generation because they don’t have a lot to sell to the next generation.” Only 3% of managing partners belong to Generation X. [New York Times]
* DLA Piper’s London office launched a review of its pay structure in an effort to remunerate partners based on more than just billable hours alone. One wonders if this meritocracy will make its way across the pond to us here in America. [Legal Business]
* According to a landmark decision from the Mexico Supreme Court, it’s a constitutional right for people to be able to grow and smoke their own marijuana. Of course, this ruling only applies to the petitioners, but it’s a step in the right direction. [Los Angeles Times]
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Morning Docket
Morning Docket: 07.01.15
* Ben Affleck and Jennifer Garner are getting divorced — even she couldn’t stand the thought of him being Batman. Celebrity divorces don’t come cheap, and you know what that must mean: high-powered lawyers and even higher rates for their billable hours! [CNN]
* “[H]ow young would you go…I’d do 5[,] [b]ut 0-12 is hot.” Well, that’s absolutely disgusting. Matthew Gigot, an attorney who does doc review in the D.C. area, was charged in a child pornography case for sexual performance using a minor. [FOX 5 DC]
* The main line of defense as of late in the Dewey trial for the former head honchos of this failed firm is that everyone sends out embarrassing — and potentially incriminating — emails from time to time. We know all abput that here at Above the Law. [WSJ Law Blog]
* “Put down the bong, throw out the vaporizer and lose the rolling papers.” If you’re hoping to land a job at any federal agency any time in the near future, then you better quit your toking as soon as possible, even if it’s legal in your state. [New York Times]
* Here’s some sad news for women who are interested in taking home their apparently delicious and nutritious placentas to feast upon after their children are born in hospitals: it’s only completely legal in three states — Hawaii, Oregon, and Texas. [The Stir]
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Canada, Legal Ethics, Pictures, Pornography, Quote of the Day, Sex, Sex Scandals, Sexual Harassment
Lawyer Urges Ethics Panel To View Nude Photos Of Judge Lori Douglas
What does a Canadian judge share in common with Jennifer Lawrence? Controversial nude photos. -
Biglaw, Facebook, Kids, Lateral Moves, Law Schools, Morning Docket, Partner Issues, Real Estate, Trials
Morning Docket: 10.16.14
* Dickstein Shapiro’s IP practice was raided by Manatt Phelps & Phillips, and now the struggling firm is down one practice group coleader thanks to its partner defections. [Am Law Daily]
* Contrary to popular belief, O’Melveny & Myers is not opening a Portland office. Instead, the firm is setting up a temporary shop to work on a local patent trial. [Portland Business Journal]
* You can turn an IPO into a gold mine for your firm using this one weird trick. Discover how you can turn that one deal into your future. Prepare to be shocked. [Law360 (sub. req.)]
* Now isn’t the best time to enroll in law school. It’s also not the best time to rank law schools as “top” schools based on enrollment alone. Seriously, have you even heard of all of these law schools? [Birmingham Business Journal]
* Thanks to this Georgia appellate ruling, parents may now be held responsible for what their silly little children who weren’t supposed to be on Facebook are posting on Facebook. Dislike. [WSJ Law Blog]
* John Grisham says not all consumers of child pornography are pedophiles. Here’s a story about one of his law school pals: “He shouldn’t ‘a done it. It was stupid, but it wasn’t 10-year-old boys.” [The Telegraph]
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Animal Law, New Jersey, Perverts, Quote of the Day
New Jersey To Ban Bestiality, Hundreds Run To Molest Cows Before It's Too Late
Please remoooooooooove your hands from my udders! -
Constitutional Law, Free Speech, Perverts, Privacy, Quote of the Day
Man Claims First Amendment Right To Take Pornographic 'Upskirt' Pictures
Do you have a Constitutional right to be a pervert? This man's attorney thinks so. - Sponsored
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Attorney Misconduct, D.C. Circuit, Law Schools, Legal Ethics, Morning Docket, New Jersey, Old People, Perverts, Reality TV, SCOTUS, Senate Judiciary Committee, Supreme Court
Morning Docket: 09.12.13
* The debt “vultures” are still circling Argentina’s carcass, but later this month, the justices of the Supreme Court will convene to decide whether or not they’ll take up the country’s bond case. [DealBook / New York Times]
* Judge Robert Wilkins managed to sail through his D.C. Circuit confirmation hearing before the Senate Judiciary Committee with great ease, but let’s see what happens when he gets to the full Senate. [Blog of Legal Times]
* An in-house attorney in Pennsylvania was suspended from the practice of law for six months because he attached a camera to his shoe to secretly film up women’s skirts. What a classy dude. [Legal Intelligencer (sub. req.)]
* Massive open online courses are trending in the world of higher education, and some law schools — e.g., Harvard and Northwestern — decided to get on the bandwagon while the getting’s good. [National Law Journal (sub. req.)]
* “I’m prepared to drop everything and go to law school,” says the man appealing his age discrimination suit against Baylor Law School because his GPA predates grade inflation. [Texas Lawyer (sub. req.)]
* The man who represented cast members of the Real Housewives of New Jersey was arrested for the unauthorized practice of law. We bet these “reality” TV stars wish they had a real lawyer. [Bergen Record]
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Attorney Misconduct, California, Crime, Deaths, Food, Gay, Gay Marriage, Law Professors, Law Schools, Legal Ethics, Lindsay Lohan, LLMs, Media and Journalism, Mergers and Acquisitions, Morning Docket, Perverts, Rape, SCOTUS, Supreme Court
Morning Docket: 11.30.12
* On the even of the Supreme Court’s conference that will determine whether a gay marriage case will be on the docket in 2013, a federal judge ruled that Nevada can ban the practice in the state. Not fab. 🙁 [BuzzFeed]
* A bankruptcy judge gave Dewey & LeBoeuf’s unsecured creditors the go-ahead to sue the pants off Joel Sanders and the Steves (a moniker for what likely would’ve been an extremely orange band). [Am Law Daily]
* Hostess Brands received final approval to wind down its business and begin selling off its Twinkies to satisfy its creditors, but not before $1.8M in bonuses payouts were authorized. [DealBook / New York Times]
* Foul balls: as if his public tiff with Lance Armstrong and indecent exposure sentence weren’t enough, Clark Calvin Griffith is facing bar discipline over his pervy predilections. [Minneapolis/St. Paul Business Journal]
* UCLA School of Law recently announced its plans to offer an LL.M. in Law and Sexuality. Now, recall that just one month ago, Justice Scalia advised students not to take “law and _____” courses. [National Law Journal]
* Dominique Strauss-Kahn agreed to settle a suit brought against him by a hotel maid who accused him of rape. We still don’t know the dollar amount, but we bet he kept his aggravated pimp hand strong. [Bloomberg]
* A day in the life of Lindsay Lohan includes an arrest for assault in New York, followed by charges related to a car crash in California. Her legal drama is almost as bad as Liz & Dick. [Daily Dish / San Francisco Chronicle]
* Jerry Finkelstein, former publisher of the New York Law Journal, RIP. [New York Law Journal]
* George C. Kern Jr., Sullivan & Cromwell’s M&A maven, RIP. [New York Times]
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ACLU, California, Perverts, Sex, Technology
California To Rid Internet Of Perverts
Bad news for sex offenders in California. -
Attorney Misconduct, Biglaw, Dewey & LeBoeuf, Election 2012, Immigration, Insurance, Law School Deans, Law Schools, Legal Ethics, Masturbation, Morning Docket, Perverts, Politics
Morning Docket: 09.19.12
* Steven Davis, D&L’s former chairman, really wants to make sure he’ll be able to use the firm’s insurance policy to defend himself, or else he’ll “suffer undue hardship.” Sorry, but after all the undue hardship you caused, nobody feels bad for you. [Am Law Daily]
* As it turns out, the Mitt “47 Percent” Romney recording may have been illegally taped, but Florida authorities aren’t investigating — a victim hasn’t come forward to complain. What, no “off the cuff” remarks this time, Mitt? [Washington Wire / Wall Street Journal]
* Even if you get disbarred, you can still go on to work for a Biglaw firm. In other news, apparently you can last about a month at Lewis Brisbois while using a stolen identity before you get fired. [Las Vegas Review-Journal]
* Arizona’s governor was really excited that the injunction against SB 1070′s “show me your papers” provision was lifted by Judge Susan Bolton. She won’t be as excited when all of the lawsuits start rolling in. [Bloomberg]
* It’s probably bad if your dean resigns before the school opens. J. Michael Johnson, the ex-dean of Louisiana College School of Law, left to take a “great job offer” (i.e., not a law school deanship). [Shreveport Times]
* Good news, ladies! A serial subway “grinder” in NYC avoided jail time after ejaculating on three women in separate incidents, and now city pols are trying to make it harder for perverts to get off. [New York Daily News]
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Crime, Law Schools, Perverts, Pornography
Should This Child Porn Aficionado Be Readmitted to Law School?
A former top law student convicted of a sex crime wants back in to the school to complete his last semester...
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Antitrust, Biglaw, Canada, Crime, Facebook, Federal Judges, FTC, Law Schools, Morning Docket, Perverts, Romance and Dating, Ursula Ungaro, Violence
Morning Docket: 08.23.12
* Little known fact of the day: the late comedienne Phyllis Diller apparently had a storybook romance with Paul Hastings name partner, Robert Hastings. She once said that her longtime Biglaw beau was the “love of [her] life.” [Am Law Daily]
* The Federal Trade Commission has closed its antitrust review of Facebook’s proposed Instagram purchase, clearing the way for the social networking site’s users to post grainy pictures to their hearts’ content. [Bloomberg]
* A former Vancouver lawyer serving a 15-year sentence for money laundering claims that one of the Mounties who investigated his case played a game of “hide the Canadian bacon” with Judge Ursula Ungaro. [Province]
* A judge who resigned in April has been retroactively removed from office for admitting to having sexual contact with his five-year-old niece. He presided over family court matters. Figures. [New York Law Journal]
* Which accomplishments and activities should you leave off your résumé? A) law review editor in chief; B) second in the class; C) 4.05 GPA; D) nonprofit executive director; E) child porn aficionado. [Willamette Week]
* Stabbing your lawyer is so last season. Another criminal defendant reportedly attacked his defense attorney in court, but this time chose to whack his own counsel in the head with his handcuffed hand. [Boston Globe]
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Attorney Misconduct, Bad Ideas, Career Alternatives, Contests, Crime, Law Professors, Law Schools, Lawyer of the Day, Legal Ethics, Perverts, Reader Polls, Sex, Sex Scandals, Weirdness
Lawyer of the Month: July Reader Poll
Who will be July's Lawyer of the Month? Vote here in our poll! -
Attorney Misconduct, Lawyer of the Day, Legal Ethics, Perverts, Weirdness
Lawyer of the Day: Hawaii Attorney Convicted of Harassment for Licking a Client's Ear
A Hawaii attorney has been convicted of harassment for engaging in some unwanted tongue action with a client... -
Attorney Misconduct, Bankruptcy, Biglaw, Law Schools, Morning Docket, Murder, New York Times, Perverts, Prisons, SCOTUS, State Judges, Student Loans, Supreme Court
Morning Docket: 07.16.12
* Speaking on the condition of anonymity, one Supreme Court justice thinks that things will be back to normal at One First Street come the start of the next term, despite his colleagues’ loose lips. [National Law Journal]
* Hourly billing rates for associate are on the rise nationwide, while partner and counsel billing rates only saw modest bumps. Is Biglaw back in business, or is this just another “retention strategy”? [New York Law Journal]
* This is a really hard to believe newspaper headline: “Law firm recognizes employees have life outside of work.” Carlton Fields, what kind of gypsy voodoo magic spells are you casting? [South Florida Sun-Sentinel]
* Another day, another editorial about the “irretrievably broken” state of legal education in our country. But the ABA admins needn’t worry their oblivious little heads, because people will keep applying. [New York Times]
* And in today’s disturbing law school debtor news, Jason Bohn’s charge was upgraded to first-degree murder after a DA announced via indictment that Bohn allegedly intended to torture his victim. [New York Post]
* “Quite frankly, these are the actions of a dirty old man.” You can look, but never lick: it’s not really a good thing when a judge uses a sentence like this to describe an attorney’s alleged client relations skills. [CBS News]
* For it’s one, two, three strikes you’re out at the old ball fraud game. Lenny Dykstra pleaded guilty to bankruptcy fraud among a potpourri of other felony counts, and he’ll now face up to 20 years in prison. [CNN]
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Crime, Eavesdropping / Wiretapping, Perverts, Privacy
Kansas Attorney Accused of Upskirting His Female Employees
An attorney has been dragged into criminal court and charged for his allegedly pervy predilections. Let’s find out more about the charges... -
Bill Clinton, Canada, Crime, Hotties, Judge of the Day, Nude Dancing, Pornography, Prostitution, Sex, Sex Scandals, Sexual Harassment, Small Law Firms, Solo Practitioners
Allegedly Lusty Legal Ladies: Updates on Reema Bajaj and Madam Justice Lori Douglas
What do Reema Bajaj, the Illinois lawyer accused of prostitution, and Justice Lori Douglas, the Canadian judge whose nude photos wound up on the web, share in common with Bill Clinton? -
Breasts, Perverts, Sexual Harassment, Women's Issues
Scantily Clad Waitresses Are Surprised By Sexual Harassment, Sue Over It in Federal Court
It pretty much goes without saying that if you voluntarily agree to work in an establishment where the uniform consists of knee-highs, a tartan mini skirt, a bare midriff, and a push-up bra, you're going to risk exposure to some lecherous individuals. That's a given. But what happens when it's not just the patrons who are acting like horny frat boys? What happens when the most prominent pervert is your boss? That is what has been alleged in a sexual harassment lawsuit filed by employees of the Tilted Kilt in Chicago, Illinois....