* Sad day for Jonathan Lee Riches. His lawsuit over Johnny Manziel’s penis has been thrown out of court. [Black Sports Online]
* Hot on the heels of yesterday’s item about SCOTUS porn parties, Professor Tribe guest blogs about his new book (affiliate link) and coercion, bribery, and influence. [The Volokh Conspiracy / Washington Post]
* Former Brooklyn DA and aspiring TV star Charles Hynes is staring down larceny accusations. [Gothamist]
* Texas basically assigns a cop to actively discourage investigate indigent parties seeking assigned counsel. [Socialist Gumshoe]
* The Supreme Court doesn’t like talking about patents — its opinions on the subject are getting shorter and shorter. [Patently-O]
* A lawyer is in hot water for allowing underaged drinking at a post prom party. The point was to keep the kids from driving. But no good deed goes unpunished. [Turn to 10]
* An interesting profile of one of my favorite professors, Ken Feinberg, labeling him “the lawyer who decides what a life is worth.” Yikes. [KDVR]
* The business strategy of just telling clients what they want to hear deflates. [Dealbreaker]
* Who says no one reads law reviews? The porn industry does and they really like this student Note. [XBiz]
* This is why we can’t have nice things. Second Circuit explains that if a revolving door agency of sycophants says it’s OK, it’s OK. Full opinion below…. [New York Times]
We’ve all heard how dysfunctional entry-level legal recruiting is: Inordinate expense, decisions made on the briefest of subjective impressions with opacity all around, and what do firms reap for all their efforts? Shocking attrition rates among junior associates. It’s time for a conference on what could work better, and this is it.
* Dan Marino was suing the NFL over concussions, becoming the highest profile former player to level a suit against the league. Among his allegations, he claims concussions led him to hold that ball laces in for Ray Finkle. Why do I say “was,” you ask? Because he claims he filed suit accidentally. No greater proof of the dangers of concussions necessary. [Awful Announcing]
* The Supreme Court used to gather in the basement and watch porn together according to Larry Tribe (affiliate link). Best anecdote is Justice Marshall narrating porn to the nearly blind Justice Harlan. You can spoil the ending for Justice Harlan here. [Washington Post]
* It turns out the Brits have their own obsession with law school rankings. Here’s their “league table” for a legal education. [The Guardian]
* You know not to wear a bikini to the firm pool party, but what should you wear to the other summer events? [Corporette]
* An article ponders when firms are going to figure out that recent law school grads are perfect paralegals. Thanks for that kick in the gut. [New Geography]
* Following up on an older story, the Fifth Circuit has withdrawn a ruling made in 2007 upon revelations that one of the judges involved had a financial interest in one of the parties. [Center for Public Integrity]
* Do we need more reasons why Bitcoin is stupid? Ah, it’s used in messy divorces to hide assets. Perfect. [Digital Journal]
* Debt collectors are increasingly giving up on calling you all the time and just seeking default judgments. [Huffington Post]
* From the SUNY Buffalo commencement, Judge Thomas Franczyk and graduate Joey Nicastro took the stage to perform a song for the occasion. Francis Malofiy is already planning to sue them. Video below….
Which famous lawyer just laid down the snark on a porn star threatening to sue a millionaire?
Chris Sevier is back at it, now he’s trying to use his addiction to computer porn to keep gay people from getting married. And if that doesn’t make sense, you should try reading his motion.
* 5 reasons why Northwestern football won’t really unionize. [The Legal Blitz]
* Law grad who failed the bar arrested for claiming to be a lawyer. So much for Jimmy Malone’s advice… [Albany Times Union]
* This morning we wrote about a lawyer turned babysitter. Jane Genova has some thoughts on how this story can have a happy ending. [Law and More]
* This is why you don’t get tattoos. [The Independent]
* Sitting judge should be on “high” court — listed as president of three different pot-related businesses. [Las Vegas Law Blog]
* The Second Circuit is not pleased with the secrecy of the Obama administration. [The New Republic]
* Corporette launches a new motherhood newsletter. She’s looking for guest bloggers too if you’re passionate about these issues. [Corporette]
* Another argument for killing law school. [The Week]
* Kash Hill looks at a Loyola Law grad who hunts down revenge porn sites. [Forbes]
* Lorne Michaels has a new courtroom comedy webseries starring Bob Balaban. The first episode is embedded below…
An actress and TV suits try to screw each other in court over just how naked she had to get in a soft-core series.
* Professor Ann Althouse’s analysis of today’s Hobby Lobby and Conestoga Wood arguments before SCOTUS. [Althouse]
* Professor Nelson Tebbe’s take on the proceedings. [Balkinization]
* Finally, a very Jezebel assessment: “Supreme Court Prepares to F**k Up This Birth Control Thing.” [Jezebel]
* “JUDGE TO PORN TROLLS: IP Addresses Aren’t People.” [Instapundit]
* YouTube videos and text messages surface in the Oscar Pistorius murder trial. [IT-Lex]
* “Her” was an excellent movie — and it might contain lessons for lawyers and the legal profession, as John Hellerman argues. [Hellerman Baretz]
Are you a junior to mid-level corporate/finance associate who has been contemplating a move to (or within) Washington, DC? In response to increased deal activity requiring “NY (or like-kind) trained” corporate associates, the Washington, DC corporate/finance market is experiencing an unusually high demand for your skills. Read more, and check out www.g-s.com.
What could possibly go wrong?
* Spring break is here for many students, and I know what they’re all thinking: what are the tax implications? [TaxProf Blog]
* Man files suit because his adult son is addicted to video games. Well, with games like South Park: Stick of Truth coming out, who can blame him? [IT-Lex]
* Former Sandusky attorney under investigation for misappropriation of client funds. At least he’s only alleged to have showered himself with money. [The Patriot-News]
* Here’s a lesson in the value of knowing the law: DUI charges against a Chicago judge dismissed. Or maybe it’s more accurate to say, “the value of knowing the law needed to beat the rap after you’ve been arrested for totally forgetting the law.”[Checkpoints]
* Business development needs to be everyone’s responsibility in a law firm. Well, at the very least, it needs to be somebody’s responsibility. [The RelSci Web]
* Harvard Law professor seeks help writing regulations for the legalization of marijuana in Jamaica. Wait? It’s illegal in Jamaica? [HLS Administrative Updates]
Are porn stars’ rights deserving of strict scrutiny?
How is technology shaping the world in which we live, affecting legal and illegal activities alike? Some thoughts from Jason Thomas of Thomson Reuters.
* Who doesn’t love fee voyeurism? It pays to be a winner in an antitrust case. How many millions did Robins Kaplan just rake in? Just part of the largest attorney fee award ever handed out in a private antitrust case, no biggie. [Am Law Daily]
* In this glass half-full world, about half of state Attorneys General are in favor of gay marriage — but some of them would go ahead and defend their state’s laws anyway. Boo. [WSJ Law Blog]
* It might be “pretty basic,” but Chris Christie received a document subpoena over the Bridgegate scandal. Not for nothing, but we hear that the governor was in the middle of bringing about world peace when he got the news. [Bloomberg]
* Hofstra Law is the latest school to launch its own “law school law firm” in an effort find jobs for its graduates close the justice gap. Welcome aboard the bandwagon, enjoy your stay! [Hofstra Law News]
* Hunter Moore, the king of online revenge porn, was indicted on 15 federal charges by a grand jury. “We’re superpleased that the FBI have brought this to fruition,” says a victim’s mother. So is everyone else. [TIME]
* “I have this much respect for the American judicial system.” George Zimmerman has a new painting for sale, and this time he’s ripping the Special Prosecutor who charged him with second-degree murder. [CNN]
* The Supreme Court isn’t sure how to address restitution in this child pornography case, but the justices agreed that they didn’t like the “50 percent fudge factor” offered by a government attorney. [New York Times]
* No, stupid, you can’t strike a juror just because he’s gay. By expanding juror protections to sexual orientation, the Ninth Circuit recently added a new notch on the gay rights bedpost. Progress! [Los Angeles Times]
* The Privacy and Civil Liberties Oversight Board says the NSA’s domestic surveillance program is illegal and should be stopped. Sorry, Edward Snowden beat you to the punch on that one. [New York Times]
* While Blank Rome was busy denying a possible merger with Nixon Peabody, it picked up 21 attorneys from two small firms in California to open a San Francisco office. Sneaky. [Philadelphia Business Journal]
* Dennis T. O’Riordan, the ex-Paul Hastings partner who faked his credentials, was disbarred — not in New York, where he claimed he was admitted, but across the pond in the United Kingdom. [Am Law Daily]
* The ABA Journal wants to know if your law firm considers law school pedigree during its hiring process. Please consider the law schools your firm shuts out from OCI, and respond accordingly. [ABA Journal]
* Word on the street is UALR School of Law is trying to push an affirmative action program that’s “likely unconstitutional.” It might also be insulting to prospective minority students, so there’s that. [Daily Caller]