Pregnancy / Paternity

* Next time on Nancy Grace: A recent graduate of Michigan State Law allegedly got a master’s degree student from the school pregnant twice before he left the country. The woman allegedly murdered one of the babies, and the other is now missing. [Detroit Free Press]

* I’ll just leave this right here so I won’t get fined. It looks like a partner from Kilpatrick Townsend & Stockton helped Marshawn Lynch trademark his nickname “Beast Mode” — a trademark that may lead to Lynch getting a $100,000 fine from the NFL. [Am Law Daily]

* In other trademark news, Taylor Swift got approval for catchphrases from her album. “Nice to Meet You, Where You Been?” Her IP lawyers “Could Show You Incredible Things,” but you could’ve been getting down to “This Sick Beat.” [WSJ Law Blog]

* Gibson Dunn earned $459,000 for successfully challenging Virginia’s ban on same-sex marriage, which was apparently a “sharp cut” in the fees the firm initially requested for star litigator Ted Olson’s time. Poor Teddy. [National Law Journal]

* According to Am Law’s latest Lateral Partners Survey, there was a 7 percent increase in lateral moves — 2,736, to be precise — between Oct. 1, 2013 and Sept. 30, 2014. Guaranteed pay packages, though, seem to be a thing of the past. [American Lawyer]

* The K&L Gates Cyber Civil Rights Legal Project, a clinic that’s perhaps better known as the firm’s revenge porn project, is assisting a California law student whose nude pictures and videos were allegedly put online by an ex. [DealBook / New York Times]

Which justice did he clerk for? Why did he become a stay-at-home dad in the first place?

The New Jersey Supreme Court issued a very important ruling for women's health this week.

* We know all about the ridiculous lawyer with three Harvard degrees who is apparently considering suing a mom-and-pop Chinese restaurant over a $4 overcharge. We’ll have more on this absolute absurdity later. [Boston.com]

* An English court ruled that a girl with fetal alcohol spectrum disorder couldn’t be awarded damages against her mother because the harm occurred in utero. Remember folks, the unborn aren’t people, only corporations are. [Daily Beast]

* A Foley & Lardner IP partner may be facing sanctions for a rather unorthodox petition for a writ of certiorari that he submitted to the Supreme Court. [Legal Times]

* Someone at Harvard Law taped fliers containing the last words of unarmed African-Americans who shot by police over portraits of their law professors. [ABC News]

* Per a recent study, the vast majority of law students have suffered from some sort of mental health issue while in law school. This isn’t at all shocking. [Yale Daily News]

How many legal professionals from Bingham are being allowed aboard the Morgan Lewis lifeboat -- and on what terms?

Basic human courtesy gets tossed to the wind when women lawyers become pregnant.

* “I think the court has to take a case now. This is their job.” It’s time to hurry up and wait: SCOTUS is running down the clock when it comes to taking a gay marriage case this Term. [National Law Journal]

* Zach Warren will be tried separately from the former leaders of D&L on criminal charges in the wake of the firm’s failure. Dewey think lawyers still care about him? [DealBook / New York Times]

* Good news, everyone! According to the Bureau of Labor Statistics, the legal sector added 300 jobs in October. This sure is exciting for the fraction of the class of 2014 that number represents. [Am Law Daily]

* A Long Island attorney requested that one of her trials be postponed during her high-risk pregnancy, but lawyers from the S.D.N.Y. allegedly “shouted at and insulted” her in response. Wow. 🙁 [New York Times]

* Since enrollment dropped off, law schools are competing to attract transfer students. Georgetown, for example, recently took more than 100 transfers — a 75 percent increase in two years. [Washington Post]

* Just because your state puff, puff, passed the vote to legalize smoking pot, it doesn’t mean you won’t be fired for doing it. Careful with your dope, unless you’d like to see your career go up in smoke. [CNN Money]

Even judges are fed up with women attorneys and their pesky maternity leave.

Woman sues because sperm bank turned her into a black person.

Take a look as one woman lawyer urges others to stay in the race.

This year's list changed very dramatically from last year's; which firms made the cut?

* Leonard M. Rosen, one of the name partners of Wachtell Lipton Rosen & Katz, died earlier this week. Our very own Managing Editor David Lat once sat three doors down from this respected restructuring maven. Rest in peace. [Bloomberg]

* A judicial ethics board has recommended that this judge be removed from the bench because she once “sold out her clients, her co-counsel, and ultimately herself.” Oh Flori-duh, you give us so many reasons to <3 you. [Sun Sentinel] * Gov. Christie named Dean Patrick Hobbs of Seton Hall Law as ombudsman for New Jersey’s executive branch. Congrats, but looks like Seton Hall may need a new dean. [New Jersey Law Journal] * A woman working in retail was put on four months of forced maternity leave when she was four months pregnant. She’s due after her forced maternity period is up. Of course she’s suing. [Los Angeles Times] * ICYMI, here’s a list of all of the fine states in America where blowjobs are illegal, but necrophilia is a-okay — or “anti-blowjobs, corpse-sex-friendly states,” as Adam Weinstein ever so eloquently puts it. [Gawker]

* Choose your own adventure: Will you read this to see how many times Justice Alito recused himself during OT 2013? Or will you read this to see Justice Alito’s doofy-looking picture? [National Law Journal]

* Hackers took down the entire PACER system as well as various federal court websites on Friday. No, the FBI says it was “technical problems.” Oops, nope, still hackers. 🙁 [Switch / Washington Post]

* It seems the best way to train new associates is to do the opposite of what Biglaw has been doing for decades. Take Stephen Susman’s word for it — you could probably end up with a $40k bonus. [The Careerist]

* A decision hasn’t been rendered in the Chevron case yet, but is Steven Donziger feeling pessimistic? He’s already hired impressive appellate counsel. [WSJ Law Blog]

* “Everybody’s been very nice to us, even though we’re lawyers.” Shocker. David Boies, Ted Boutrous, and Ted Olson had fun at the Sundance Film Festival promoting “The Case Against 8.” [Associated Press]

* Finally, a happy ending to an absurd science experiment. Over the weekend, a judge ordered that Marlise Munoz, a brain-dead pregnant woman in Texas, be removed from her respirators and ventilators. [CNN]

Will this woman regret her decision to have a baby? She thinks so.

* For the first time, a federal appeals court extended First Amendment protections reserved for trained journalists at traditional news entities to bloggers. Yippee, thanks Ninth Circuit! [L.A. Now / Los Angeles Times]

* If you want a Biglaw firm with a really generous 401(k) plan, look no further than Sullivan & Cromwell. It’s the most generous law firm plan in the country, with O’Melveny & Myers in second place. [BenefitsPro]

* A brain-dead patient in Texas is being used as an incubator because a state law requires hospitals to continue life support for pregnant women. Calling this the “cruelest pregnancy” is much too kind. [New York Times]

* Here are some depressing facts: not only are lawyers 3.6 times more likely to be depressed than non-lawyers, but they also rank in fourth place in terms of suicides per profession. Call someone if you need help. [CNN]

* Florida A&M must be absolutely thrilled that the ABA canceled the school’s show-cause hearing. It appears that the law school will be able to keep its accreditation, for now. [Tallahassee Democrat]

* If you’re a parent considering going to law school with a young child at home, congrats, because you must be rich to be toying with an idea like that. [Law Admissions Lowdown / U.S. News & World Report]

* Playboy is suing Harper’s Bazaar for using its pictures of Kate Moss without permission. The men’s mag wants $150K per picture posted on the luxury mag’s website — that’s one lavish lapin. [Independent]

Placentas: medical waste or delicious delicacies?

* Let’s hit some lingering holiday stories that came in after we went off the air on Tuesday. Think of it as your Christmas hangover. First up, ‘Twas the Night Before Christmas, reimagined as a lesson on pregnancy discrimination. [Bolek Besser Glesius] * On a related note, here’s a nice chart comparing the original poem with the legalese version created by Dezert-Rose. [TaxProf Blog] * Well, that’s one thing you can do with law reporters in the age of Westlaw and Lexis. [Legal Cheek] * Isn’t it really nice of prosecutors when they actually try to fulfill their constitutional obligations? [Katz Justice] * A life lesson for these thieves: there’s no such thing as a Christmas tree that doesn’t shed. [Legal Juice] * The lawyers supposedly told NFL players they would not be taking any of the concussion settlement money. There’s a lesson to be had here about how you shouldn’t trust lawyers. [Overlawyered] * Professor Nancy Leong went on Ashley Madison with a “white” profile and an “Asian” profile. The Asian profile got more hits. Is this interesting? Sure. Is this the sort of academic work worth charging law students $180K to support? Not so much. [Lawyers, Guns & Money]

* You’d think that when discussing major reforms to the patent system, the director of the USPTO would be there, but you’d be wrong. You’d also be wrong if you thought we had a director right now. [National Law Journal]

* Welcome to the future of Biglaw: Allen & Overy has realized that it’s a waste of money to keep hiring in a weak market, so the firm is recruiting its alumni to serve as contract attorneys in times of higher legal demand. [Legal Week]

* Dean Gregory Maggs, the interim leader of George Washington University Law, is being lauded for increasing first-year enrollment by 22 percent in a time of crisis. Excellent work, sir. You flood that job market. [GW Hatchet]

* Just because you have a law degree doesn’t mean you’re “entitled to rise up and become partner.” Getting a job in the new normal involves having a good attitude and social graces. [WSJ Law Blog]

* Ladies, if you get pregnant after a fling with an Olympic medalist and move out of state, please know your “appropriation of the child while in utero [will be deemed] irresponsible, reprehensible.” [New York Times]

* GTL stands for “Gym, Tan, Laundry,” but the owner of these Jersey Shore nightclubs thinks it stands for “Gym, Tan, Lawsuit” — thanks to losses uncovered by its insurer in the wake of Hurricane Sandy. [Newark Star-Ledger]

* The four female Supremes gathered last night (and kept RBG up past her bedtime) to celebrate the unveiling of a lifelike painting of themselves that’ll be on display for years. You go girls! [Reliable Source / Washington Post]

* Now that cloture’s been filed on a would-be D.C. Circuit judge, these judicial nominations are getting exciting. You should probably get ready for a battle royal on Patricia Millett’s qualifications later this week. [Blog of Legal Times]

* The women over at Holland & Knight must be pregnant with glee now that the firm is offering incredibly attractive paid maternity and adoption leave packages in the hope of retaining its lady lawyers. [Daily Business Review]

* People want to know if they should take the LSAT in December or February. Are they serious? Take it in December so you can retake it if you screw up. [Law Admissions Lowdown / U.S. News & World Report]

* Aww, Barry Bonds wants the Ninth Circuit to rehear his obstruction of justice conviction with 11 judges instead of three. Perhaps he thinks that more judges will equal more sympathy. [San Jose Mercury News]

* Trouble in paradise, so soon? The proposed merger between Dentons and McKenna Long & Aldridge has been delayed. McKenna has postponed its partnership vote, and Dentons says no partnership vote was ever planned. [Daily Report]

* Wherein a firm fails to Latham an ex-employee’s baby mama drama: a legal secretary who was allegedly told her pregnancy complications “were not [the director of HR’s] problem” will see her case against L&W move forward. [Blog of Legal Times]

* You know that relations have grown bitter between opposing counsel when attorneys from one firm refer to lawyers from the other as “Monday Morning Quarterbacks.” The legal fee dispute in the BARBRI antitrust case rages on at the Ninth Circuit. [National Law Journal]

* Paging ProudCooleyGrad: Kurzon Strauss, the firm that sued Cooley Law over its allegedly deceptive job stats, is trying to get records unsealed in the school’s defamation case that’s now on appeal. [MLive.com]

* Convicted murderer and jailhouse hottie Jodi Arias is accepting donations for her appeals fund. It could be worth your while — if you donate enough, maybe she’ll consider turning you into her next victim. [HLN TV]