• 432px-Target_logo.svg


    Non-Sequiturs: 05.22.15

    Ed. note: Above the Law will not be publishing on Monday, May 25, in observance of the Memorial Day holiday.

    * The settlement deal between Target and Mastercard over the 2013 data breach is dead after failing to garner the requisite issuer support. Proposed settlement: $19 million. Years of protracted litigation: Priceless. [Credit Union Times]

    * High school teacher who admitted she and another teacher had a threesome with a 16-year-old student got off — well, legally — with a slap on the wrist. Folks are starting to wonder if her dad being a sitting district judge had anything to do with that. [Times-Picayune]

    * On a similar note, Mama June of Here Comes Honey Boo Boo… fame? Is she famous? Whatever. The point is Mama June is toying with suing the TLC Network because they canceled her show over a child molester, but haven’t nuked 19 Kids and Counting in the wake of its brewing molestation scandal. When you consider these hit shows starring inbred hillbillies with molestation issues, remember that TLC stands for “The Learning Channel.” [TMZ]

    * Lawmakers pushing back against Governor Cuomo’s proposal to appoint an independent monitor to investigate police-related civilian killings. One skeptical State Senator proclaims, “What I do know is that it treats police officers different than other citizens.” Yes, because right now the police get the same kid gloves grand jury presentations the rest of us do. [Capital New York]

    * Texas prosecuted 115,782 truancies in a year, levying hefty fines and doling out jail time to kids as young as 12. Well hello there prison-industrial complex! [Al Jazeera America]

    * Are the Yankees and A-Rod gearing up for arbitration… or settlement? I don’t know, why wouldn’t you want to put a warm, likeable guy like him in front of a panel? [Concurring Opinions]

    * Judges must be the loneliest people on social media… [The Daily Record]

    * Merely complaining to your boss is enough to trigger anti-retaliation provisions according to the Second Circuit. So feel free to call up that partner you hate… [JD Supra]

    21 Comments / / May 22, 2015 at 2:02 PM
  • Photo by Bob Jagendorf

    White-Collar Crime

    Is Rakoff the Only Judge Not In Love with DOJ?

    A new essay by Judge Rakoff bemoans the tacit judicial support of mass incarceration. But why are judges backing destructive policies?

    16 Comments / / May 7, 2015 at 10:09 AM
  • "Just pull up to the next guy, he has your crack."

    Public Interest

    We’re Locking Up Fewer Kids, And That’s A Good Thing

    A new study levels a devastating critique of juvenile incarceration.

    5 Comments / / May 5, 2015 at 11:54 AM
  • Teresa Giudice (Photo by Stephen Lovekin/Getty Images)

    Prisons, Reality TV

    ‘Real Housewives’ Star Reportedly Acting Like ‘Diva’ Behind Bars

    Orange is not the new black for realty TV star Teresa Giudice.

    13 Comments / / Apr 30, 2015 at 2:14 PM
  • Hillary Clinton portrait


    Non-Sequiturs: 04.29.15

    * Hillary Clinton vows to end the era of mass incarceration. Just one of many things Bill Clinton left his mark on that she wishes you’d forget. [Huffington Post]

    * Protesters arrested on Monday in Baltimore weren’t even charged until today and are being held functionally without bail. Because at this point the most important industry in Baltimore is “being the setting of The Wire: The Ride.” [Gawker]

    * It’s cute when non-lawyers find out there was a person named “Learned Hand.” [io9]

    * At 10:00am tomorrow, the Constitutional Accountability Center is live-streaming a panel, “Home Stretch at the Supreme Court.” Amy Howe of SCOTUSBlog is moderating and panelists include Yaakov Roth of Jones Day, Elizabeth Wydra Chief Counsel of CAC, and Paul Smith of Jenner & Block, who incidentally argued Lawrence v. Texas. [Constitutional Accountability Center]

    * New York Law School has a beautiful building and have been renting out space to Rochester’s Business School to make a quick buck on the side. Now they’re going to offer joint programs with the business school, maybe their grads can find jobs in other fields. [Crain’s]

    * Chief Justice Roberts doubted the marriage equality arguments, instead championing the importance of letting legislatures decide. Like, if the Senate passes a law unanimously we should respect that intent, right? Derp. [Lawyers, Guns & Money]

    * From Amanda Devereux: 13 Things I Wish I Knew Before I Became a Lawyer. [Cosmopolitan]

    * Everything you need to know about videotaping the police. [Concurring Opinions]

    17 Comments / / Apr 29, 2015 at 5:05 PM
  • 220px-Antonin_Scalia,_SCOTUS_photo_portrait


    Non-Sequiturs: 03.27.15

    220px-Antonin_Scalia,_SCOTUS_photo_portrait* That new Justice Scalia play we’ve been talking about is a delightful piece of fiction. And by “fiction,” we mean it portrays Scalia as nuanced and complex as opposed to the right-wing rubber stamp he’s become. [Slate]

    * A glossy firm website doesn’t quite match the reality of Google Street View. [Roll On Friday]

    * Texas wants to make it illegal for you to tape a cop beating. That’s ridiculous enough, but that’s not the end of the sentence. Texas wants to make it illegal for you to tape a cop beating… you. [Lowering The Bar]

    * Court rules that neighbor’s Wifi harmed the plaintiff. I suppose he could have mitigated any damage if he’d worn his tinfoil hat more often. [New Mexico Courts]

    * A fascinating, still updating Twitter feed recounting 5 months in lockup. It’s part of a promotion for a new ebook Life Locked (affiliate link). It’s like Orange Is The New Black with a lot fewer lesbians. [Life Locked]

    * Speaking of prisons, would feeding prisoners to lions really be much worse than the hellholes we currently keep them in? [Redline]

    * The new Miss D.C. U.S.A. is an Oklahoma City University School of Law grad. It’s a J.D. Advantage position. [Washington Post]

    * An essay has surfaced allegedly written by ATL mainstay Kyle Bristow’s soon-to-be ex-wife. She… doesn’t sound happy. [View from 206]

    * Conservatives have some issues with Loretta Lynch, but are they blowing one complaint wildly out of proportion? [WiseLawNY]

    20 Comments / / Mar 27, 2015 at 4:57 PM
  • yale law school

    Morning Docket

    Morning Docket: 03.17.15

    * A ballsy decision dripping with prestige? It seems that a few too many students at Yale Law School requested access to their student admissions evaluation records under FERPA, so instead of handing them over, Yale deleted them. [New Republic]

    * Here’s some good news for women attorneys visiting clients in Massachusetts jails: you’ll no longer be forced to lift up your shirt and shake out your bra if your underwire makes the metal detector go off. Instead, you’ll get felt up a pat down. [Boston Globe]

    * According to early data culled for the Am Law 100 rankings, from revenue to profits per partner to revenue per lawyer, Winston & Strawn posted record financial results in 2014. Perhaps the days of no-offers and layoffs are long gone for this firm. [Am Law Daily]

    * Just because more people took the LSAT in February, it doesn’t mean that the law school crisis is over. It does, however, mean that law school administrators may soon be wishcasting the year-over-year growth of their first-year classes. [National Law Journal]

    * Rahul Gupta, the graduate student who used the tried and true “my girlfriend did it” defense during his trial for the fatal stabbing of a Georgetown Law student, was convicted on first-degree murder charges yesterday. He’ll be sentenced on April 16. [WJLA]

    24 Comments / / Mar 17, 2015 at 9:02 AM
  • Non-Sequiturs

    Non-Sequiturs: 03.12.15

    * When the judge starts quoting Monty Python, it means he hates you. [Lowering the Bar]

    * When a tax official died at the office, it took his co-workers two days to notice. To paraphrase Roger Sterling, “he died as he lived: surrounded by people who didn’t pay attention to him.” [TaxProf Blog]

    * What makes a client want to hire a particular lawyer? Is it Throwback Thursday pics of the lawyers as kids? No? These lawyers think it is. [Legal Cheek]

    * The “stop hitting yourself theory of statutory interpretation” is my new favorite canon. [Lawyers, Guns & Money]

    * Radio Shack is going under, which is the perfect time to ask: what if it was a HYDRA front all along? [The Legal Geeks]

    * If America wants to incarcerate fewer people, it needs to take a hard look at what it plans to do with violent offenders, because they’re a bigger part of the prison system than most realize. [PrawfsBlawg]

    * Today would be Jack Kerouac’s 93rd birthday. In case you wanted to imagine a life unchained from your desk, you should read some of his stuff. [What About Clients?]

    10 Comments / / Mar 12, 2015 at 5:07 PM
  • Escape From Prison

    Crime, Prisons

    Self-Confessed Child Killer To Be Set Free As A Result Of ‘Good Time’ Loophole

    The case of Philip DeSelle highlights the tragedy of a glaring loophole in Louisiana’s “good time” laws that stood for years.

    / Jan 21, 2015 at 4:02 PM
  • Web

    White-Collar Crime

    The Holidays And Dehumanizing People

    The criminal justice system is dehumanizing. This is so obvious it’s almost trite. But for people being prosecuted, it’s also acutely real.

    17 Comments / / Dec 18, 2014 at 10:10 AM
  • prison prisoner jail convicted criminal

    Crime, Law Schools, Prisons, Quote of the Day

    Criminal Justice Is Not An Omelette

    A law school invites prosecutors for a frank discussion of wrongful convictions.

    26 Comments / / Nov 12, 2014 at 3:20 PM
  • law_school LF

    6th Circuit, Bankruptcy, Gay Marriage, Immigration, Law Schools, Non-Sequiturs, Prisons, Racism

    Non-Sequiturs: 11.07.14

    * U.S. Bankruptcy Judge Steven Rhodes approved the deal tossing about $7 billion of Detroit’s debt. He declared that it was now time to restore democracy to Detroit. We’ll see how that turns out. [The Detroit News]

    * How many law schools are in dire economic straits? Try 80. [TaxProf Blog]

    * Professors Eric Posner and Glen Weyl think the answer to global income inequality is low-paid migrant labor. It’s not entirely as crazy as it sounds. But it’s still kinda crazy. [The New Republic]

    * On the other hand, economic inequality could be greatly exacerbated by technology anyway. [Lawyers, Guns & Money]

    * Life imitates Shawshank. [Clarion-Ledger]

    * Attorney and author Lawrence Otis Graham explains how no amount of economic or educational privilege can fully shield African-Americans from racism. [Washington Post]

    ** A women’s group pledges to stand up for victims of harassment on Twitter. Not to discount some of the vile stuff women are subjected to on Twitter, but it’s possible that Twitter is rife with gender-neutral horribleness. [What About Clients]

    * That Sixth Circuit marriage equality opinion is… well, fundamentally wrong about how constitutional democracy works. [Detroit Free-Press]

    8 Comments / / Nov 7, 2014 at 5:04 PM
  • Canada View From Up North

    Canada, Courthouses, Prisons

    The View From Up North: Changing The ‘Justice System’ Into A ‘Human System’

    Once it becomes a “human” system rather than a “justice” system, won’t it become harder to ignore how stupid and wasteful the current system is?

    5 Comments / / Nov 5, 2014 at 3:29 PM
  • John Roberts Chief Justice John Roberts

    Football, Law Schools, Non-Sequiturs, Prisons, Small Law Firms, Sports

    Non-Sequiturs: 10.23.14

    * Does Chief Justice Roberts care enough about avoiding the appearance of partisanship that he’ll sink challenges to Obamacare? [Huffington Post]

    * Wow. In 1938, they arrested a woman for wearing pants to court. [LA Times]

    * LSAT takers were down AGAIN. It’s now down more than 40 percent since 2009. Maybe someday soon it really will be a good time to “Apply to Law School Now!” [Excess of Democracy]

    * Don’t go to jail in Alabama. Just a general rule. [Mother Jones]

    * Interesting. LexisNexis is partnering with Microsoft to create a cloud-based system for small law firms. [PR Web]

    * The remains of famed athlete Jim Thorpe will remain in the Pennsylvania town where he was buried, ruled Judge Richard Caputo. His family wanted the remains returned to his birthplace. Even in death this guy is getting jerked around. [Associated Press via ABC News]

    * Speaking of sports, Oklahoma State is suing New Mexico State alleging that its mascot looks “confusingly similar” to OSU’s mascot. There are only so many ways to depict a cowboy. Compare and contrast. [The Chronicle of Higher Education]

    * Man Okie State is litigious all of a sudden. Oklahoma State is suing the University of Texas for poaching the former Cowboys Offensive Line coach to be the Longhorns’ Offensive Coordinator. I can see the deposition now. Imagined transcript after the jump…. [ESPN]

    Attorney: And how old are you, describe yourself?
    Other Attorney: Objection, compound.
    Attorney: Go ahead and answer the question.
    Mr. Gundy: I’M A MAN! I’M 40!

    29 Comments / / Oct 23, 2014 at 5:01 PM
  • LSAT scantron

    Department of Justice, Disasters / Emergencies, Election Law, General Counsel, Law Schools, Morning Docket, Prisons, Ruth Bader Ginsburg, SCOTUS, Supreme Court, Texas, Trials

    Morning Docket: 10.20.14

    * The Supreme Court is allowing Texas to enforce its strict voter identification law during the upcoming election, but Justice Ruth Bader Ginsburg, hero to the masses, wrote a rather scathing dissent in opposition. [New York Times]

    * Michael Millikin, GM’s beleaguered GC, will be stepping down from his position while the Justice Department continues its probe into the company’s fatal ignition switch failures. A replacement has not yet been named. [WSJ Law Blog]

    * Baltimore Law and Maryland’s HBCUs hooked up to assist underrepresented minorities get into law school. Full scholarships come with GPAs of at least 3.5 and LSAT scores of at least 152. [USA Today]

    * Kent Easter, the lawyer who was convicted for planting drugs in a school volunteer’s car, was sentenced to serve six months in jail. His law license will likely be suspended (just like his wife’s was). [OC Weekly]

    * Accused Boston Marathon bomber Dzhokhar Tsarnaev isn’t doing well in court, and his trial hasn’t even started yet. Motions to dismiss his case and to suppress evidence were denied. [National Law Journal]

    39 Comments / / Oct 20, 2014 at 9:12 AM
  • simps_warren-RF

    Antonin Scalia, Guns / Firearms, Prisons, Religion, Samuel Alito, Supreme Court, Television

    Did The Simpsons Predict A Hot-Button SCOTUS Case 22 Years Ago?

    A tipster noted that a controversial Supreme Court case from this Term gets a predictive wink from an episode that aired in 1992…

    15 Comments / / Oct 14, 2014 at 12:07 PM
  • Teresa and Joe Giudice

    Abortion, Celebrities, Eliot Spitzer, Legal Ethics, Non-Sequiturs, Prisons, Prostitution, Supreme Court, Women's Issues

    Non-Sequiturs: 10.02.14

    * Real Housewives of Cell Block D. Joe Giudice sentenced to 41 months. [Fox News]

    * New practice area in Alabama: Fetus lawyer. There’s potential there, but is it viable? [Slate]

    * The Supreme Court is going to hear a prison litigation case. Here’s why that’s important. [Constitutional Accountability Center]

    * Apparently no one is able to hear this case. [The Times-Picayune]

    * Police arrest guy who beat up the man who shot his 16-year-old cousin. Because nobody likes Batman. [DNA Info]

    * The DJ behind Good Morning Vietnam was a lawyer? Interesting. Well, he’s not a lawyer any more. Disbarred! [Law Profession Blog]

    * At what point is it off-limits to talk about sex appeal? Vivia Chen explores this issue after she got some hefty blowback for following President Obama’s lead and commenting on the beauty of California Attorney General Kamala Harris. [The Careerist]

    * Eliot Spitzer’s madame is sentenced to 2 years for selling prescription pills. She was offering some quality stuff, like, 7 diamonds level stuff. [Daily Mail]

    * Lawyer for celebrities exposed in the naked photo hacking scandal known as The Fappening is threatening to sue Google for $100 million. The Fappening? Really? That’s what we’re calling this? [dlisted]

    5 Comments / / Oct 2, 2014 at 5:00 PM
  • Can you identify this guy?

    9th Circuit, Contract Attorneys, Non-Sequiturs, Prisons, Rape, Supreme Court, Television

    Non-Sequiturs: 09.24.14

    * Quiz: Can you match the picture of the plaintiff to the landmark Supreme Court decision? [Slate]

    * Ninth Circuit expedites Ed O’Bannon appeal. [USAToday]

    * New NBC comedy about a law student who becomes a garbage man. Better job security, I suppose. [The A.V. Club]

    * The federal prison population declined by about 4800 inmates, giving the United States… well, still the worst incarceration rate in the world, but hey, you’ve got to start somewhere. [ABC News]

    * The contract attorney who sued Biglaw is living in his car and considering a career in construction. Perhaps it was a Freudian thing. [Law and More]

    * Some philosophy professors are concerned about an individual getting very testy with perceived critics. Anyone want to guess the individual? [Professor David Velleman Homepage / NYU]

    * In case you missed it, Howard Bashman’s announcement of our new partnership. [How Appealing]

    * Middle school convinces special needs girl to allow suspected rapist to take her into a bathroom so the school can “catch him redhanded.” She gets raped. Judge dismisses the lawsuit saying he wouldn’t “second-guess” school officials. []

    29 Comments / / Sep 24, 2014 at 3:59 PM