Prostitution

The Louisville basketball sex scandal has brought back a lawyer from the garbage heap.

Cooley grad has best idea ever! (Nope, not at all.)

Partner allegedly spends the most ill-advised $60 ever.

* A litigant with a Supreme pimp hand? Darius Clark, the man whose child-abuse case — which is currently before SCOTUS — will determine whether teachers may testify of behalf children, was indicted for allegedly running a prostitution ring from jail. [Northeast Ohio Media Group]

* Judge Mark Fuller of the Middle District of Alabama was arrested last summer on domestic violence charges after his wife confronted him about an alleged affair with a law clerk. What a gent! He’ll be resigning from the bench August 1. [USA Today]

* You can roll your eyes at Rand Paul all you want, but several key parts of the Patriot Act expired shortly after midnight because the Senate was unable to reach a deal to extend it. (FYI, DOJ may still use grandfathered privacy-poaching techniques.) [New York Times]

* “Nothing changes. The system is disgusting. There is no due process.” Do you want to read the story that made Cuba’s government ban an American legal journalist from any further coverage of the country’s court system? Of course you do. [Daily Business Review]

* “I can’t preserve caution in my delight with Ruth.” This is what retired Justice David Souter wrote about Justice Ruth Bader Ginsburg’s performance after her first week on the bench. He already knew back then that she was no-no-no-NOTORIOUS. [Boston Globe]

* Ex-House Speaker Dennis Hastert, who recently resigned from Dickstein Shapiro following his indictment, was allegedly paying a former student “hundreds of thousands of dollars” to keep quiet about past sexual abuse at the politician’s hands. [New York Times]

* Beau Biden, former state attorney general of Delaware, major in the Delaware Army National Guard’s JAG Corps, and son of Vice President Joe Biden, RIP. [Washington Post]

* “The top is eroding and the bottom is growing.” Even as class sizes get smaller and tuition gets lower, the law school brain drain continues. America’s best and brightest won’t be fooled into studying law when the job market is still so unstable, but others have been. [Bloomberg]

* Attorneys for California’s sex workers have filed suit to overturn the state’s ban on prostitution, claiming that “[t]he rights of adults to engage in consensual, private sexual activity (even for compensation) is a fundamental liberty interest.” Yeah, okay. [AP]

* “The simple story is that $160,000 as a starting salary at large law firms is less prevalent than it was immediately prior to the recession.” You can scream “NY TO 190K!” all you want, but starting salaries have remained flat. Sowwy. [DealBook / New York Times]

* U.S. Attorney Preet Bharara of the Southern District of New York has involved himself in an “escalating war of words” with members of the federal judiciary that he may come to regret. Will this “petulant rooster” be able to kiss and make up? [New York Times]

* Per a recently filed lawsuit, Alex Rodriguez of the Yankees still hasn’t paid a single law firm for their representation in the Biogenesis case. He allegedly owes Gordon & Rees $380,059 in unpaid fees. Come on, A-Rod. You’ve got the cash. [New York Daily News]

* Infamous plaintiffs’ attorney Steven Donziger of the $9.5 billion Chevron / Ecuador kerfuffle decided that if he can’t win his case in a court of law, he might as well try to win it in the court of public opinion. Check out his side of the story. [Law360 (sub. req.)]

* Attorney General Holder reminds the DOJ not to hire hookers. [Politico]

* A new demographic angry over gay marriage: gay men who want to protect their sham marriages. Didn’t expect this to be a fight. [Slate]

* Once you’ve finished binge-watching on Netflix, we ask: is Matt Murdock an ethical lawyer? [Radford & Keebaugh]

* Patent attorney David Healey at Fish and Richardson is coming out. Here’s the trailer. [YouTube]

* Richard Hsu talks about jumping off of perfectly good cliffs with Shane Glynn, Product Counsel at Google. [Hsu Untied]

* Garry Trudeau explains that just because we can say something doesn’t mean we should. Ken questions this logic. In the end though, he proves too much: there are so many powerful, biting criticisms to make that we shouldn’t have to resort to dumb caricatures. [Popehat]

* Intelligence Squared is hosting a debate on the death penalty. Watch it online Wednesday at 6:45 p.m. Eastern. [Fora.tv]

* Is it just me, or does her account actually sound awfully suspicious? [Gawker]

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fB_FZa8SNic

A lawyer gets smacked with ethical charges for an "alternative fee structure," but it's the cops who come out of this tale looking like creeps.

Massive online underage prostitution sting results in arrest of a law student.

* When we first reported on this former law school dean’s arrest for prostitution, we weren’t sure if he was the alleged john. Now we know: SMU Law’s John Attanasio allegedly offered to pay an undercover officer $100 for “specific sexual acts.” [Dallas Morning News]

* It seems that a lawyer in Nebraska lost his “special pen” at the courthouse, and he’d really like it to be returned to him. It’s not just any pen — it’s a $500 Montblanc Meisterstück. Help this man get his prestigious pen back. [Omaha World-Herald]

* The early numbers on Cadwalader’s ranking in the Am Law 100 seems to indicate that would-be chair James Woolery got the hell out while the getting was still good. The firm’s profits per partner dropped by 15.3 percent in 2014. Ouch. [Am Law Daily]

* “Being in the law school business looked like a good idea. Those days are over.” Enrollment continues to decline at law schools across the country, and in Virginia, class sizes are about 20 percent smaller than they were in 2011. [Roanoke Times]

* When it comes to the recent murder-suicide of two Tulane Law students, “[p]eople are really surprised and baffled about what happened” because they say there were no warning signs. If you’re depressed, please seek help. [New Orleans Advocate]

* Given the fact that children’s vaccinations have become a topic presidential candidates are debating, you should know that almost half the states allow anti-vaxxer parents to opt-out. Thanks for the measles, everyone! [WSJ Law Blog]

Members of law school administrations are just like us: they sometimes get arrested for salacious crimes.

* An “America’s Next Top Model” contestant sued Tyra Banks, claiming she was disqualified from the title because Banks found out she had worked as an escort. You’re looking for people who can walk back and forth in heels over and over. Who did you think was trying out for the show? [Courthouse News Service]

* Dewey know which DLA Piper department head just declared personal bankruptcy? [New York Times]

* Coming soon to the hipster haven near you: the artisanal attorney. Hilarious satirical piece by John Frank Weaver. [McSweeney’s]

* Are you getting married? Are you planning to change your name? Huge mistake. The name part at least. Maybe the married part, I don’t know your deal. [The American Lawyer]

* The Onion surveys the reaction to the Columbia Law exam policy. [The Onion]

* You can’t force welfare recipients to get drug tests. Which was kind of obvious but still required a court to weigh in. [Pathologyblawg]

* A New York judge allegedly stroked his secretary’s face, forced her to give him hugs, and regaled her with explicit tales of sex with his mistress. [New York Post]

* There’s a wealth of information in this post about the ABA 509 Information Reports. Keith Lee does a year-over-year comparison of the top ten and bottom ten schools, looking for trends. [Associate’s Mind]

* A BC government official has revoked approval of a law school based upon a pledge to discriminate against “the gays.” [Trinity Western University]

* Charles Manson is getting married. Have folks uncovered his registry yet? Or is this just hilarious trolling? [Lowering the Bar]

* No, Tim Tebow did not get arrested soliciting a prostitute, no matter what your Facebook feed tells you. It’s obviously false. I watched his pro career, he can’t score for money. [Snopes]

* Remember the lawyer who dressed up like Thomas Jefferson and declared himself “incompetent” at his own disciplinary hearing? Well, now we have video of this insane argument. [Above the Law]

* Take the quiz: Drug or Pokemon character. [The Volokh Conspiracy / Washington Post]

* Prosecutor wants to withdraw evidence rather than reveal how the cops got it. That doesn’t sound shady at all. [Slate]

* Professor Richard Sander keeps riding that “affirmative action is bad because it lets in dumb (minority) kids” train. [TaxProf Blog]

* Shearman & Sterling partner Richard Hsu interviews Tae Hea Nahm, a former partner at Wilson Sonsini who moved from law to venture capitalism. [Hsu Tube]

* Bloomberg BNA launches a new product, Bloomberg Law: Banking, to provide legal and business intelligence for banking professionals. [Bloomberg BNA]

* Buffalo attorney Alfonzo Cutaia took time lapse video of the Lake Erie lake effect from his office window. It’s gone viral, and it’s pretty clear why. That’s some messed up weather right there. [YouTube]

* Morgan Lewis may be pretty pleased with itself now that it gets to gobble up most of Bingham McCutchen’s partners, but some day soon, it may be forced to “choke a bit” on remains of the dying firm’s carcass. [Philadelphia Business Journal]

* Yesterday, we wondered what would happen to Bingham McCutchen’s brand new back-office operation in Kentucky. Now, the pieces are starting to come together. We may have more on this interesting development later. [Am Law Daily]

* A Connecticut criminal defense firm’s managing partner who teaches at UConn Law was picked up in a prostitution sting last week. At least he’s got the skills to represent himself. [Connecticut Law Tribune]

* The NCBE thinks bar exam takers were “less able” than in prior years, but the organization seems to have forgotten that ExamSoft was “less able” to perform its one freaking job. [Bloomberg Businessweek]

* You must be whacked in the mind if you think law school tuition has anything to do with public service loan forgiveness. Law school tuition is high because people are still willing to pay for it. [Huffington Post]

A prominent accuser of Jonny Dach turns out to have a prostitution problem of his own.

Is Yale Law School graduate Jonny Dach getting a bum rap?

* Florida State QB Jameis Winston is still in a heap of legal trouble and it turns out his best legal move might just be to drop out. It’d save him the trouble of getting demolished by Mississippi State. [Sports Illustrated] * A follow-up on the Yale Law/Colombia Prostitution/Secret Service/Obama scandal. An amateur poet was hot on this story from the start and sent cryptic verse about it to a Yale student paper way back in the day. [Ivy Gate Blog] * Ron Swanson explains lawyers. Best line, “The man who kills me will know.” [Legal Cheek] * Remember when the Texas Supreme Court cited Walter from Big Lebowski? Now we have the proper citation form for the occasion. [The Legal Satyricon] * Perdue has settled two lawsuits against it over the use of the phrase “humanely raised.” Apparently its chickens were “not that.” [Salon] * One lawyer explains why it’s high time we eliminate this holiday. [Katz Justice]

Sex, corruption, hypocrisy, oh my! And yet, should anyone even care about this? The answer is "yes," but not for any of the reasons you'll hear from the nattering nabobs....

* Real Housewives of Cell Block D. Joe Giudice sentenced to 41 months. [Fox News] * New practice area in Alabama: Fetus lawyer. There’s potential there, but is it viable? [Slate] * The Supreme Court is going to hear a prison litigation case. Here’s why that’s important. [Constitutional Accountability Center] * Apparently no one is able to hear this case. [The Times-Picayune] * Police arrest guy who beat up the man who shot his 16-year-old cousin. Because nobody likes Batman. [DNA Info] * The DJ behind Good Morning Vietnam was a lawyer? Interesting. Well, he’s not a lawyer any more. Disbarred! [Law Profession Blog] * At what point is it off-limits to talk about sex appeal? Vivia Chen explores this issue after she got some hefty blowback for following President Obama’s lead and commenting on the beauty of California Attorney General Kamala Harris. [The Careerist] * Eliot Spitzer’s madame is sentenced to 2 years for selling prescription pills. She was offering some quality stuff, like, 7 diamonds level stuff. [Daily Mail] * Lawyer for celebrities exposed in the naked photo hacking scandal known as The Fappening is threatening to sue Google for $100 million. The Fappening? Really? That’s what we’re calling this? [dlisted]

* Lawyer grabbing drinks in hotel bar accused of being a prostitute by security guards. In fairness, she probably said, “I bill out at $600/hour!” a little too loudly. [The Root] * In finance, interns are only there for sex. Probably not how the law will see it. [Dealbreaker] * Judge Kozinski found his way into another Atlas Shrugged movie. The true accomplishment of the mega-industrialists is funding two sequels of the first putridly reviewed movie. [Josh Blackman's Blog] * Are you sick and tired of reading about the 10 books that your Facebook friends think will most impress you most influenced them? Here’s a much better question: the 10 Rock Songs that most influenced you… [What About Clients?] * New Jersey has a new alimony law. So before you leave your wife for your goomah, check it out capische. [Larry the New Jersey Lawyer's Cogitations] * Meant to write this up as a full post yesterday, but time got away from us. In any event, Geuaxjudge is Geauxone. Judge Michael Maggio, best known for launching racist and sexist comments about Charlize Theron’s adoption, has been fired by order of the Arkansas Supreme Court. [CNN] * Following up on this afternoon's piece about lawyering from home, maybe one overlooked factor is meeting your clients, at least once, in an office. [Law and More] * This Friday, the CBLA and the Fordham IP Institute are hosting a visiting high-level legal delegation from China, including multiple judges from the Supreme Court of the PRC, multiple members of the Ministry of Commerce. If you’re interested, RSVP. [Chinese Business Lawyers Association]

Protip: Don't call the police because a stripper won't have sex with you.