With profits per partner soaring at some Biglaw firms, partners need to find ways to spend all of their money. Some like fine wine, but others prefer fine women — and that’s usually where all the trouble begins.
Case in point: one prominent partner recently found himself involved in some shady police activity after a woman who claimed she was owed money for “services” was arrested at his home with drugs stashed in her nether regions.
This partner’s bio has since been removed from the law firm’s website. Who is he, which firm does he work for, and what allegedly happened?
In case you’re not aware, law school costs a lot of money. Just one year of legal education can run the average law student more than $50,000. Many, if not most, law students take out loans to cover the costs of law school, but some are lucky enough to have their educations paid for in full by their parents. The students in the latter group are beholden to their parents and can’t run the risk of making them angry, for fear of getting cut off financially.
Of course, today’s incredible tale deals with a law student in her 20s who pissed her parents off so badly that they refused to continue paying for her prestigious law school tuition. This girl did what any law student with cash flow problems would’ve done: she became a prostitute.
This law student cum lady of the night came across some choice clientele, as one of her top johns, a man in his late 60s, was a lawyer at a prominent firm. You can guess what happened next: the lawyerly lovers created a sex contract, and the relationship quickly soured. As it turns out, notwithstanding Fifty Shades of Grey (affiliate link), sex isn’t quite so sexy when it’s wrapped in a condom of legal terms.
The pair ended up suing each other, and now we’ve got a juicy judgment for you to feast your eyes upon…
* Judge sentences rapist to 45-days and community service… working in a rape crisis center. Because the victim was “promiscuous.” How could anyone be this tone-deaf? Oh, it’s in Texas? Never mind. [CNN]
* California lawyers now must promise to be courteous. Play nice, kids. [LA Times]
* Finally, it’s time to wish a happy birthday to Winston & Strawn’s Jonathan Amoona, who was on the 2014 Forbes 30 Under 30 list. I guess he won’t be anymore. His 30th birthday invitation went out to the managing partner and a bunch of the top rainmakers, which isn’t toolish at all. The invite is available after the jump….
If you’re feeling the pinch of student debt, at least you can comfort yourself in knowing that your money contributed not only to the professional education of innumerable future contract attorneys, but to the overall advancement of legal scholarship. The academy requires those tuition dollars to keep law professors researching and writing for the betterment of all.
And then handing it over to a bunch of apple-polishing 3Ls to validate and publish.
So the next time you get your tuition or student loan bill, ask yourself if funding research on the nature of sexbots is worth it….
* If Justice Ruth Bader Ginsburg ever decides to step down from the Supreme Court (don’t worry, fans, she won’t), perhaps one of these relatively good-looking, relatively young lawyers will be able to step in. [Daily Comment / New Yorker]
* Dewey know who the seven secret tipsters are in the case against D&L? Nope, their pleas are sealed, and it’s “not the typical process.” In fact, it’s “highly unusual.” Guess we’ll find out eventually. [DealBook / New York Times]
* An ex-paralegal with a J.D. from Hofstra is suing Greenberg Traurig with claims of racial bias, saying she wasn’t promoted to an attorney position. Well, she did attend a contender for “Worst Law School in America.” [Am Law Daily]
* In a rare move, it seems that a partner was poached from Williams & Connolly. Jon Fetterolf will now be working at Zuckerman Spaeder, where he’ll be the firm’s first certified sports agent. [Legal Times]
* Because only the coolest law students do legal research on their phones these days, here are 11 apps to download. Curiously missing from this list is the ATL app. You can get it here. [U.S. News & World Report]
* “The case is over. It’s time to move on.” Rachel Canning, the New Jersey schoolgirl who sued her parents for child support, has agreed to drop her case — and yes, it was all about her boyfriend. [New York Post]
* Robert Strauss, Akin Gump Strauss Hauer & Feld name partner, RIP. [New York Times]
* A guy who tried to get on the bench more than once was just busted in a prostitution sting. Oops. He also spells his name weird. [The Press Democrat]
* Tomorrow, Gibson Dunn partner Miguel Estrada will argue before the Second Circuit that private parties can’t get injunctions under RICO. For those keeping score, Gibson Dunn partner Randy Mastro hangs his whole case in Chevron v. Donziger on a request for an injunction under RICO. Time to play the Distinguish Polka. [Courthouse News]
* Wait until the RIAA realizes there are royalties to be made at CIA black sites in Uzbekistan. Because the only thing more torturous than being forced to listen to this music is the tenacity of the RIAA. [Slate]
* More on the legislative fight over accrual accounting versus cash-basis accounting for Biglaw firms. To the barricades! Swear your allegiance to Generalissimo MacEwen! [Adam Smith, Esq.]
Three years ago, the eminent civil rights historian Taylor Branch wrote a scathing essay in The Atlantic that compared college athletics to slavery. In that piece, he wrote that college sports carried with it “the unmistakeable whiff of the plantation.” Comparisons to slavery cannot be brought lightly, of course. This is not Kristallnacht after all.
Three years later, the plantation house still stands. As if we are taking a remedial class taught by Howard Zinn, we now arrive at organized labor. This week, it was reported that members of Northwestern University’s football team had filed a petition with the National Labor Relations Board in order to be recognized as a labor union. If successful, communism.
Whether you believe that college football players should be granted fifteen minute smoke breaks every four hours or not, I think it’s safe to say that we all fervently pray for the day that the NCAA perishes after a long, yet valiant, struggle with butt cancer. Because of that, there were very few outright denunciations of Northwestern University’s actions in the media this week. Still, let’s get a lay of the land, shall we?
Let’s talk Samuel Gompers. Let’s talk Hoffa. Let’s talk sports….
* Quinn Emanuel got a pretty harsh benchslap from Judge Paul Grewal over its litigation strategy in the Apple / Samsung case, calling it “650 lawyers wide and one lawyer deep.” Sick burn, Judge. [Courthouse News Service]
* At Cardozo Law, Jordan Belfort’s former lawyer says that the movie Wolf of Wall Street “played down the sex and drugs.” Dear Lord, if that’s the case, Leo’s muse should be happy he’s alive. [DealBook / New York Times]
* “I’ve been around the block. And I’ve never seen an attorney general sanctioned.” Ahh, the rarest rose. Nevada’s AG was sanctioned for failing to provide evidence in a fraud case against a mortgage lender. [Forbes]
* Eighteen people were arrested for their alleged attempts to market and sell Super Bowl “party packs” to football fans. It’s pretty sick, but you’d got to admit that hookers and blow beat wings any day of the week. [Bloomberg]
* Law schools in the Southeast closed their doors because their states were “unequipped for dealing with the roadways.” Send them up here, we’ve got school when there’s a foot of snow. [National Law Journal]
* A recent grad of a “good school” wanted to know how to get a job, so she asked an advice columnist. Here are five of the suggested jobs she probably already applied to and was rejected from. [Fortune]
* The third time’s apparently the charm in Italy: Amanda Knox was convicted of murder, again. Foxy Knoxy must be pissed that her case has turned into an extradition question on an international law exam. [CNN]
* A pimp is suing Nike for not labeling its shoes as dangerous weapons after the sex work entrepreneur used his Jordans to beat the holy hell out of a john. Good luck with your suit, Superfly! [USA Today]
* Tattoo artists are suing over their artwork getting featured in media without getting compensation. So add “because shooting ink through a damn needle into your skin” as a reason never to get a tattoo. [Infringe That!]
* Comparing strippers to lawyers. Makes sense. [Miami Herald]
* Across the Pond, a Cambridge College masturbator gets punished. I see what you did there, you clever headline writer, you. [The Tab]
* Boston has stopped using license plate scanners to probe the question, “Are these even worth it?” That’s the sort of question they might have wanted to explore before spending all that money. [IT-Lex]
* A Pennsylvania lawyer was busted for selling wines out of his wine cellar without a license. God, liquor laws are stupid. [Philly.com]
As part of a nationwide tour, Above the Law is coming to the great city of Chicago.
Join preeminent law firm management consultant Bruce MacEwen, Katten Muchin Chicago managing partner Gil Sofer, and JPMorgan Chase & Co. assistant general counsel Jason Shaffer for a panel discussion (sponsored by Pangea3) on the evolutionary and market forces bearing down on the law firm business model. Come on by Thursday, November 20, at 6 p.m., for thought-provoking discussion, food, drink, and networking.
Space is limited and there will be no on-site registration, so please RSVP
Average law school debt for graduates of private universities hovered around $122,000 last year. With only 57% of new attorneys actually obtaining real lawyer jobs, recent graduates have a lot to consider when it comes to managing their student loan payments. Thanks to our friends at SoFi, today’s infographic takes a look at student loan debt, including the possible benefits of refinancing for JDs…
Kinney Recruiting’sEvan Jowers is currently in Hong Kong for client meetings and still has a few slots available through October 22. Evan will also be in Hong Kong November 14 to December 15. Further, Robert Kinney has been in Frankfurt and Munich this week and is available for meetings with our Germany based readers.
One of our key law firm clients has referred us to one of their important clients in the US, Europe and China – a leading global technology supplier for the auto industry – in order to handle their search for a new Asia General Counsel and Asia Chief Compliance Officer.
Kinney is exclusively handling this in-house search.
This position will have a lot of responsibility and include supervision of eight attorneys underneath them in the Asia in-house team. The new hire will report directly to the global general counsel and global chief compliance officer, who is based in the US. The new hire’s ability to make judgement calls is going to be as important as their technical skill set background.
The position is based in Shanghai and will deal with the company’s operations all over Asia and also in India, including frequent acquisitions in the region.
It is expected that the new hire will come from a top US firm’s Shanghai, Beijing or Hong Kong offices, currently in a top flight corporate practice at the senior associate, counsel or partner level. Of course, the candidate can be currently in a relevant in-house role.