Quote of the Day

He hit random keys or wrote, ‘I hate my job. I hate my job. I hate my job,’ over and over.

– An anonymous source describing stenographer Daniel Kochanski’s “bizarre antics” during numerous trials, which have caused judges to hold reconstruction hearings to repair the record in many cases.

(There’s much more to this story, so keep reading to see what happened.)

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Let’s buy a senator!

[This] is a decision that substitutes judges’ understandings of how the political process works for the understanding of Congress; that fails to recognize the difference between influence resting upon public opin­ion and influence bought by money alone; that overturns key precedent; that creates huge loopholes in the law; and that undermines, perhaps devastates, what remains of campaign finance reform.

– Justice Stephen Breyer, issuing a scathing dissent in the Supreme Court’s decision in the McCutcheon v. Federal Election Commission case. Today, the court ruled in a 5-4 decision to strike down aggregate limits on campaign contributions from individuals to federal political candidates.

Robert Richards IV

Sex offenders are the lowest of the low in prison. He’s a rich, white boy who is a wuss and a child perv. The prison can’t protect them, and Jan Jurden knows that reality. She is right on.

– Defense attorney Joseph A. Hurley, commenting on Judge Jan Jurden’s sentence of probation for DuPont heir Robert H. Richards IV as punishment for the fourth-degree rape of his 3-year-old daughter. Jurden noted in her sentencing order that Richards would not “fare well” in prison.

Darrious Mathis: too handsome for rape?

I had him stand up. I told the jury I wish I had what this guy’s got. Don’t take my word for it. Look at him. A lot of women like this — and some men, too.

Dwight Thomas, one of the attorneys who represented Darrious Mathis during his first trial, issuing remarks on having to “work with what you’ve got” as a defense attorney in a rape case. Thomas’s defense centered on his client’s good looks, a strategy that resulted in a hung jury.

At his second trial with a different attorney — one who did not use the “too-handsome defense” as aggressively — Mathis was convicted of kidnapping, carjacking, possession of a weapon in the commission of a crime, and assault with intent to rob and rape.

Gwyneth Paltrow, muse of judicial humor.

Dillard, J., consciously uncoupling from the majority opinion.

– Judge Stephen Dillard of the Court of Appeals of Georgia, paying homage to Gwyneth Paltrow on his delightful Twitter feed (which you should definitely follow).

But Judge Dillard used this quip just over Twitter, not in an opinion. The best official case parenthetical of all time, after the jump.

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Judge Wade McCree, in repose.

[T]here is not much, if anything, that is more prejudicial to the actual administration of justice than having a sexual relationship with a complaining witness without recusing oneself, engaging in ex parte communications with this mistress/complaining witness, attempting to use the prosecutor’s office as leverage against this now ex-mistress by concocting charges of stalking and extortion against her, and then lying under oath about these matters.

– Judge Stephen J. Markman of the Michigan Supreme Court, writing for the majority in affirming nearly all of the Michigan Judicial Tenure Commission’s findings as to Judge Wade H. McCree. The judge has been suspended for six years, without pay.

What is more abhorrent than violence against women? But when…. everything is domestic violence, nothing is. Congress will have to come up with a new word (I cannot imagine what it would be) to denote actual domestic violence.

– Justice Antonin Scalia, concurring in part and concurring in the judgment, in United States v. Castleman. (Gavel bang: Josh Blackman.)

Some of the study’s more eye-popping statistics pertained to law school students, whose job prospects are famously declining. The level of indebtedness for this group rose by more than $50,000 from 200[4] to 2012, with the typical law student now owing $140,000, the study found — a jump that’s unprecedented in any other field, including medicine.

Molly Hensley-Clancy of BuzzFeed, discussing a recent report by the New America Foundation about the student debt crisis.

Chris Christie

At the end of the day, we will be judged by whether we got this right.

Randy Mastro of Gibson Dunn & Crutcher, commenting on his firm’s investigation of the administration of New Jersey Governor Chris Christie in connection with the George Washington Bridge scandal, aka “Bridgegate.” The Gibson Dunn report will apparently clear Christie himself of wrongdoing, but the governor’s political opponents question its objectivity.

Monica Marie Jenkins

I’m not worried anymore; give me some cocaine.

– Los Angeles County public defender Monica Marie Jenkins, in a statement allegedly made to police officers shortly after she was arrested on drunk-in-public, assault, and battery charges at the San Francisco International Airport. Jenkins was not permitted to board a flight due to her drunken state, and as police attempted to escort her from the gate, she allegedly began to kick at them and scream profanities, threatening to sue them. Soon after she arrived at San Mateo County Jail, she allegedly tried to bite a nurse. Jenkins pleaded not guilty to the charges.

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