Practice pointer: when engaged in the practice of law, don’t be racist — actually, don’t be racist at all, but you’ve got to expect some repercussions when there is a record of your racism involved.
* New developments in everyone’s favorite soap opera of a case: Faruqi & Faruqi LLP is cross-appealing the $140,000 judgment in favor of former associate Alexandra Marchuk. [Law360]
* Whoa. There’s one SEC Commissioner actually doing her job! So retro. Stay strong, Commissioner Stein. [Guile Is Good]
* Congress is working on a bill to prevent companies from foisting non-compete clauses on employees making less than $31,200/year. But, but, then someone else might learn the important trade secret of the Colonel’s 11 secret herbs and spices! [Lawyers, Guns & Money]
* Senior and junior lawyers speak a different language. This article comes to us from the U.K., but the sentiment is universal, even if the phrase “bugger off” isn’t. [Legal Cheek]
* Prosecutor called Asian Americans “greedy foreigners.” That goes over about as well as you’d expect. [Angry Asian Man]
* David spoke with the Legal Talk Network about “the importance of friendship and family and the psyche of young lawyers who often compromise personal relationships for career ambitions.” If you guessed they were discussing Supreme Ambitions (affiliate link), then you’re right. [Legal Talk Network]
* Where are LL.M.s valuable? [LLM-Guide]
* Lawyer sues EFF for calling his patent stupid. We here at Above the Law would like to reiterate that this patent is brilliant and probably the most Earth-shattering invention since the light bulb. [Corporate Counsel]
* Maybe legalizing drugs doesn’t solve all the violence. [Seattle Times]
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Ed. note: Above the Law will not be publishing on Monday, May 25, in observance of the Memorial Day holiday.
* The settlement deal between Target and Mastercard over the 2013 data breach is dead after failing to garner the requisite issuer support. Proposed settlement: $19 million. Years of protracted litigation: Priceless. [Credit Union Times]
* High school teacher who admitted she and another teacher had a threesome with a 16-year-old student got off — well, legally — with a slap on the wrist. Folks are starting to wonder if her dad being a sitting district judge had anything to do with that. [Times-Picayune]
* On a similar note, Mama June of Here Comes Honey Boo Boo… fame? Is she famous? Whatever. The point is Mama June is toying with suing the TLC Network because they canceled her show over a child molester, but haven’t nuked 19 Kids and Counting in the wake of its brewing molestation scandal. When you consider these hit shows starring inbred hillbillies with molestation issues, remember that TLC stands for “The Learning Channel.” [TMZ]
* Lawmakers pushing back against Governor Cuomo’s proposal to appoint an independent monitor to investigate police-related civilian killings. One skeptical State Senator proclaims, “What I do know is that it treats police officers different than other citizens.” Yes, because right now the police get the same kid gloves grand jury presentations the rest of us do. [Capital New York]
* Texas prosecuted 115,782 truancies in a year, levying hefty fines and doling out jail time to kids as young as 12. Well hello there prison-industrial complex! [Al Jazeera America]
* Are the Yankees and A-Rod gearing up for arbitration… or settlement? I don’t know, why wouldn’t you want to put a warm, likeable guy like him in front of a panel? [Concurring Opinions]
* Judges must be the loneliest people on social media… [The Daily Record]
* Merely complaining to your boss is enough to trigger anti-retaliation provisions according to the Second Circuit. So feel free to call up that partner you hate… [JD Supra]
Police abuses against minorities don’t happen only in America, as Canadian columnist Steve Dykstra explains.
Are lawyers really to blame for an unfair judicial system?
Next time a black person tries to tell you about cops, maybe you should listen.
Columnist Renwei Chung explains how a murder in Milwaukee last April may have triggered Starbucks’s consciousness on race relations in America.
Casetext is offering select students the opportunity to gain real entrepreneurial experience while in school as part of its law student ambassador program.
* We’ve seen the future and it’s drones shoving commercialism down your throats 24/7. Get ready America! [DigiDay]
* Federal judge mistaken for a maid because she’s black and everything is awful all the time. [South Florida Lawyers]
* While everyone focuses on the Supreme Court, the fight for marriage equality is still raging in the state courts. [Huffington Post]
* Yesterday marked the 45th anniversary of Attorney General Robert H. Jackson’s “The Federal Prosecutor” speech. Among many quotable admonitions against prosecutorial abuse: “While the prosecutor at his best is one of the most beneficent forces in our society, when he acts from malice or other base motives, he is one of the worst.” Perhaps he shouldn’t have given this speech on April Fools’ Day. [John Q. Barrett]
* The New York Court of Appeals has upheld St. John’s Law’s decision to rescind the admission of a student who admitted that he’d pleaded guilty to possession because he’d been arrested for intent to distribute. But only after taking three semesters worth of his money of course. [Legal Profession Blog]
* A law professor invites colleagues to break the mold of legal scholarship to build a “more authentic ethos.” In entirely related news, congratulations on tenure. [TaxProf Blog]
Some thoughts from columnist Renwei Chung on the controversial “Race Together” initiative from Starbucks.
If there isn’t a “true threat” of violence, what do you consider the “true threat” of these students’ rants? In other words, does the punishment fit the crime?
Was the SAE lynching song a true threat?
* As we mentioned, U.S. News is giving law schools less credit for hiring their own grads. Rumor has it that a few schools would’ve done better in the rankings but for their high percentage of school-funded jobs. Which ones? [WSJ Law Blog]
* Two students in the Sigma Alpha Epsilon fraternity from Oklahoma University were expelled after a video of their racist chanting was leaked online. Lawyers want to know: was their expulsion a First Amendment violation? [Volokh Conspiracy / Washington Post]
* UC Irvine Law debuted on the 2016 U.S. News law school rankings at No. 30, missing Dean Erwin Chemerinsky’s goal of starting out as a Top 20 school. Not to worry, Dean, there are still ways to game the rankings. Keep your head up! [National Law Journal]
* Don’t bother delaying your law school education just because the economy’s bad. The professors who told us that a law degree is worth $1 million think that its value will only drop by about $30K in times when unemployment is high. Yeah, okay. [ABA Journal]
* The grisly murder of DLA Piper associate David Messerschmitt, who was found stabbed to death in a Washington, D.C., hotel, remains unsolved. Police are still searching for the “person of interest” who was seen on video from the hotel’s security camera. [Legal Times]
SAE did about the only thing that still gets you called “racist” in America.
* A DOJ investigation concludes that the Ferguson Police Department and courts engaged in a “pattern and practice” of discrimination against African Americans. The investigation was conducted by the DOJ’s division of obvious things. [CNN]
* When police didn’t respond to his call fast enough, this guy tried to rob a convenience store to get the cops out there faster. And then they still didn’t come… [Legal Juice]
* King v. Burwell argument is almost here! Conservatives are really eager to take the law down. But would hurting Obamacare really hurt conservatives more in the end? [Bloomberg View]
* A California lawyer is proposing a new law to address homosexuality with “bullets to the head or by any other convenient method.” I don’t think that’ll pass. [Huffington Post]
* Authorities still harassing family who trusted a 10-year-old to walk outside without a parent hovering over them. It’s hard to criticize helicopter parents when they’re only following the law. [Washington Post]
* Fascinating use of the Internet: a crowdfunding campaign to help refugee mothers and children secure release from government detention. [Go Fund Me]
* In this preview of Professor Nancy Leong’s latest videocast, she talks with Professor Jessica Clarke about how courts treat sexual harassment cases in same- vs. opposite-sex harassment. [TheRightsCast]
* The FCC declares net neutrality. Now an explanation of what that really means. [Gizmodo]
* Today in “delightful things police departments do,” we have the tale of a woman held in a black site by Chicago police for 18 hours before being allowed to contact a lawyer. That’s the Chicago way. [The Guardian]
* Former Georgia Attorney General Mike Bowers — of Bowers v. Hardwick fame — now supports LGBT rights. That’s got to be the last one, right? Is there anyone still out there against this? [Buzzfeed]
* We should have more lawyer unions. To the barricades, colleagues! [Adjunct Law Prof Blog]
* Updating a previous item: Cooley filed its opposition to the federal government’s motion to dismiss in the troubling case of Judge Tabaddor, whom the government ordered to stop hearing immigration matters involving Iranians because she is Iranian-American. [Cooley LLP]
* The Harvard Law School Association Entrepreneurs Network invite you to a legal tech pitch night. It’s March 4th at 6:30 p.m. in NYC. Talkin’ law and technology. Be there and be square. [EventBrite]
* The CAC’s “Roberts At 10″ series continues, turning its gaze on the racial equality protections we used to have. [Constitutional Accountability Center]