Rahm Emanuel

* Rahm’s back. And now you’re all in big BIG trouble. [Chicago Tribune]

* It was a resounding victory for Rahm Emanuel, but two justices didn’t think the majority needed to benchslap so hard. [Chicago Sun-Times]

* No more jokes about Allen Stanford. Still, that picture reminds me of a Geto Boys album cover. [TPMMuckraker]

* All your Facebook pics are belong to us. [Reuters]

* Arizona is like that racist uncle who won’t shut up about immigrants and refuses to leave even after peeing in the corner of your mom’s dining room. Don’t act like your family is better than mine. [Arizona Republic]

* So this kid dumped a piano onto a sandbar off the coast of South Florida, all for a college application. The art school equivalent of a 180. [New York Times]

Chubbs Peterson

* Professor Rick Hasen thinks the Illinois Supreme Court is leaning towards letting Rahm Emanuel back into the race for Mayor of Chicago. Hopefully this means that Emanuel’s lawyer, Kevin Forde, will get his family back really soon. [Election Law Blog]

* Have you ever seen a notary in a bar, drunk, with her notary kit? It’s actually kind of hot. [What About Clients?]

* David Freedman, the unemployed Chicago-Kent law review editor recently featured in these pages (with his permission), describes his day on Above the Law. [The Law Movie Review]

* Noorain Khan, a former student of Amy Chua at YLS, interviews the Tiger Mother herself. Chua sounds a bit hurt — but a high-six-figures book advance has great healing power. [Jezebel]

* We’d like to dedicate this blurb to Chubbs Peterson. Alligators on golf courses are dangers to all of us. [Legal Blog Watch]

* Lawyers travel a lot. Here’s what you can do with all of those hotel toiletries (which Lat has confessed to hoarding). [Ross Fishman's Law Marketing Blog]

An appellate panel voted 2-1 today to kick former White House Chief of Staff Rahm Emanuel off of the ballot for the Chicago mayoralty elections. The majority concluded that Emanuel didn’t meet the residency requirements.

What happens next?

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Rahm Emanuel has reason to smile today.

* This Kentucky attorney is filing a new brief against the TSA, but not the kind that you’d expect. [Cincinnati Enquirer]

* There used to be a street in Chicago named after Rahm Emanuel, but it was changed because nobody crosses Rahm Emanuel and lives. [Clout Street / Chicago Tribune]

* Who wants to plug the hole with a grenade? The Jersey Supreme Court has got more drama than the Jersey Shore. [Wall Street Journal]

* If your “to do” list involves buying eggs and murdering your law school professor, you should really consider prioritizing your goals. [WJXT Jacksonville]

* Robert Half says lawyers will get a 4.1% salary increase in 2011, except for the lawyers who don’t. Um, thanks? [Boston Globe]

* Well, there’s a first time for everything. A DEA agent shot himself in the foot by literally shooting himself in the foot. [Washington Post]

* Instead of asking “Michael, are you okay? Are you okay, Michael?,” the King of Pop’s doctor, a heart surgeon, wanted to know if anyone knew CPR. [CNN]

* Hey baby, your placenta or mine? Four nursing students may have aborted their careers due to oversharing on Facebook — and now one of them is suing. [Wall Street Journal]

* Like sh*t through a goose: a woman claims she now has digestive problems because she got to second base with Donald Duck. [Washington Post]

* Can a school keep your kid from looking like a lesbian? These parents are fighting for their son’s right to look like Justin Bieber. [Indianapolis Star]

* No happy ending for Brett Favre. The QB tried to throw a pass to his masseuses’ tight ends, but he’s now getting sacked with a lawsuit. [New York Post]

* U.S. News wants you to know that if you go to Cooley, the only place your application will be transferred to is the paper shredder. [Get In: Law School / U.S. News]

* Rahm sees you when you’re sleeping, he knows when you’re awake. He knows if you’ve been bad or good, so stop writing parody songs about him, motherf**ker. [Change of Subject / Chicago Tribune]

* A lawyer named Conn created a 3D commercial for potential clients. Too bad his target audience will be purchasing new hips before 3D televisions. [Florida Times-Union]

* Normally, you’d end up in the doghouse if you didn’t attend a loved one’s funeral, but Bernie Madoff’s throwing his family a bone on this one. [DealBook / New York Times]

* “And then I felt a sharp jabbing pain into my rectum.” That’s what she said. Actually, that’s what he said. What’s with the NYPD and sodomy? [Wall Street Journal]

* Another day, another “Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell” lawsuit. Yes, I just totally dropped a DADT bomb after a story about sodomy. I went there, that happened. [Washington Post]

* You’d think that the Calorie Commando would hire some healthier hobos to kill his wife, but these guys just wanted pizza, beer, and tequila. [CNN]

* You better not question Rahmbo’s amended 2009 tax return. He will f**king end you. You will never even see it coming, motherf**ker. [NBC Chicago]