Randy Quaid

* Urging people to kill the president is protected speech, according to the Ninth Circuit. So if you are playing along at home, judges think that talking about killing judges is wrong, but they don’t care if you threaten the executive branch. [Wired]

* Did anyone start Dewey & LeBoeuf in their Dodger lawyers fantasy lineup? [Am Law Daily]

* I thought the Roger Clemens mistrial was due to government incompetence, but this guy thinks it’s due to government arrogance. [The Legal Blitz]

* Yes, I know Ben Wallace is thinking of going to law school. I wrote about it when I heard about it last fall. Sadly, I have no additional thoughts on the matter since my prior post. [ABA Journal]

* The U.S. Government has decided to stop pursuing Randy Quaid. When reached for comment, Russell Casse said: “They’ve got bigger fish to fry now, believe you me.” [Gawker]

* Delaware should make it more efficient for law firms to tax public mergers. If you don’t like it, you’re feel to come up with some other way for your firm to generate half a million in undeserved fees. [Dealbreaker]

* Cocaine’s a hell of a drug. [New York Times]

* Which is why some might try to pay an Ivy League tuition by selling it. [Village Voice]

I’m being embezzled by this monstrous ring of accountants, estate planners and lawyers who are mercilessly slandering me and trying to kill my career and, I believe, murder me in order to gain control of my royalties.

– Randy Quaid, elaborating on his earlier claim that he needs asylum in Canada to escape “Hollywood Star Whackers,” via the ABA Journal.

As we mentioned in Morning Docket, Randy Quaid, notable character actor of questionable talent, is on the run. The star is apparently seeking asylum in Canada. He and his wife Evi skipped out on a California court date for allegedly squatting in their former house.

Apparently the Quaids are afraid that more than a court date is waiting for them in the U.S. According to published reports, Randy and Evi believe they are on the “hit list” of a group of “Hollywood star whackers” who are also responsible for the deaths of Heath Ledger and David Carradine.

I don’t know — the Joker, Kill Bill, and Russell Casse? Who doesn’t belong on that list?

In event, you have to check out the handwritten note the Quaids’ lawyer showed in court…

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