Rape

* More whining about President Obama opining on Supreme Court cases while the justices “deliberate” — as though anyone’s opinion is up in the air. Apparently presidents have rarely done this. Fun fact: cynical lawyers have rarely gotten to the Supreme Court to attack a president’s landmark legislation on a tortured textual reading, but here we are. [The Volokh Conspiracy / Washington Post]

* It’s like the Hangover. Except in prison. With more drugs. [Legal Juice]

* Hey, remember when Jeb Bush got behind a law that required rape victims to publish their sexual histories in the newspaper until the law was shot down by the courts two years later? Good times. [Salon]

* The Right proclaims Jeb Bush really doesn’t believe in publicly shaming women for having sex. Hm. See item 3 supra. [Legal Insurrection]

* Wow. The Senate actually passed something. It’s a resolution hailing the 13th, 14th, and 15th Amendments. Is it a sign of my cynicism that I’m shocked even that got approved? [Constitutional Accountability Center]

* Why the rationale of Roe doesn’t really matter. [Lawyers, Guns & Money]

* Fourth Circuit panel snipes at each other over whether to call out overzealous prosecutors. It got so bad they actually sealed the opinion. [Maryland Appellate Blog]

* Derek Khanna has a new report on patent reform written with Lincoln Labs. The fundamental premise: patents are not encouraging innovation any more. [Lincoln Labs]

* Watchdog is reporting that Kroll Associates conveniently overlooked dozens of terrible LSAT scores in its report on University of Texas admission standards. It bears repeating: just how dumb must Abigail Fisher be to not get into this school? [Watchdog]

* A short memoir about suing The Grateful Dead. [The Faculty Lounge]

* There’s a lot of constitutional law about booze. [PrawfsBlawg]

* Republicans try to play some word games on the Affordable Care Act and get straight-up lawyered. Or as The New Republic described the exchange: a “succinct, pithy demolition.” [MSNBC]

* Oscar Pistorius could be headed home on parole in the next couple of months. Time to get back in that dating pool. [CNN]

* Don’t bring your mom to court. [Lowering the Bar]

* Here’s an interesting company at the juncture of law and technology — 3D printing demonstrative exhibits for trial. [3D Printed Evidence]

* Randy Spencer interviews American Pharoah [Coverage Opinions]

* An interesting question from a lawyer doing his part to help the homeless: if a person can’t get online, how do they even look for a job anyway? [What About Clients?]

* A new novella from Jessica Pishko called A Trial for Grace (affiliate link) about a fallen, high-flying NYC attorney working a death penalty trial in North Carolina. [Amazon]

* Consent explained with tea. [Vimeo]

https://vimeo.com/126553913

What drove him into this situation, and what will happen to him next?

* According to a recent survey conducted by Altman Weil, Biglaw managing partners and chairs say that overcapacity and a lack of work for their partners is putting a dent in their overall profitability. Please don’t take the easy way out here — the weather is way too nice for layoffs. [Am Law Daily]

* Beverly Cochran, the wife of Judge Edward Najam of the Indiana Court of Appeals, was charged with obstruction and false reporting after allegedly carving “die judge” on their front door in the hope that her son-in-law would be arrested. [WBIW via ABA Journal]

* When Harvard Law alums say their business education “was a joke,” you know you’ve got a problem. Law schools are finally coming around to the fact that their graduates don’t have a clue about business, and some of them are trying to fix that. [Bloomberg Business]

* Nicole Eramo, UVA’s associate dean of students, has filed a $7.5 million defamation suit against Rolling Stone for tarring and feathering her in the magazine’s now discredited campus rape story. She’s also upset this “unflattering” photo was published. [CNNMoney]

* Say aloha to admission to the University of Hawaii School of Law without an LSAT score. We figure that a few more schools will decide to try this program out since the ABA recently indicated its regrets about introducing the initiative in the first place. [KHON2]

That trusted friend in the suit is far more likely to rape you than anyone hiding in the shrubbery, as sex-crimes prosecutor turned novelist Allison Leotta explains.

* Lindsay Lohan is heading back to community service. This time someone decided the party girl should be helping out at a preschool. She’s apparently working down the block from me so I’ll keep my eyes out. [Jezebel]

* Exploring the labor issues involved in ESPN’s hasty and petty considered decision to fire Bill Simmons because he is willing to speak honestly about Roger Goodell. [PrawfsBlawg]

* Whoa. Vermont State Senator arrested late last week accused of raping three women. One of the alleged victims was a 15-year-old intern at the time. And then the court released the victims’ contact information in direct violation of a judge’s order. [VT Digger]

* Next time you’re in Yellowstone, be careful what you do with your photos: Wyoming just made it illegal to give them to a government agency lest they use the photos to figure out how badly Wyoming is poisoning the environment. Rationality! [Slate]

* Bernardo Roman III, who had earned more than a little ire for his representation of the Miccosukee Tribe has, apparently, gotten canned. [South Florida Lawyers]

* Meanwhile, Native Americans are both underrepresented and ignored in the profession. [The National Law Journal]

* Staci spoke with Nicole Abboud about Women in the Law. [The Gen Why Lawyer]

* Shearman partner Richard Hsu chats with Nathan Sawaya, the attorney who left it behind to become The Lego Brick Artist. [Hsu Untied]

* “Take it from me, dealing with the complex criminal legal system can be difficult and intimidating for most people.” This ex-Troutman Sanders partner may be facing nine felony charges, but who cares? He’s starting his own firm. [Am Law Daily]

* It’s kind of cute when law school deans lie to themselves to make themselves feel better. For example, the dean of Oregon Law says now is “excellent” time go to go law school, and he doesn’t make decisions “based on what moves the rankings needle.” [Daily Emerald]

* Per the latest Altman Weil survey, the first quarter of 2015 was one of the best ever for law firm mergers. The pace with which law firms merged was the second-quickest since the company started tracking mergers to begin with in 2007. [Philadelphia Inquirer]

* The Rutgers Board of Governors has approved of the proposed merger between Rutgers-Newark and Rutgers-Camden Law. Now they just have to wait for the ABA’s rubber stamp, which they’ll obviously get — the ABA would rubber stamp a shoe. [NJ Advance Media]

* “[T]he law is a noble profession – but it’s also an oversubscribed one, due in large part to excessive federal lending.” Maybe if the government stopped handing out student loans like candy, law schools would be forced to lower their tuition rates. [Washington Post]

* The University of Virginia’s chapter of Phi Kappa Psi is definitely going to try to sue Rolling Stone over its fraternity gang-rape story, but the question is whether “bad journalism [will] amount to legal liability.” What do you think about this? [WSJ Law Blog]

* Jury can’t agree to put Jodi Arias to death, guaranteeing Morning Docket/Non-Sequiturs fodder for the next 25 to life. [HLN TV]

* The best students in the country are looking at law school… and passing. Get ready for the “now’s the best time to go to law school” articles! [Associate’s Mind]

* It’s time you lawyers do something good for the world. Here’s an easy proposal for how you can help someone today. [What About Clients?]

* A San Diego law student is suing the school, alleging that the university tried to discourage her from reporting that she’d been raped. [NBC San Diego]

* Dean Richard Gershon is stepping down from his post at Ole Miss Law. Professor Deborah Bell will serve as interim dean. [Hotty Toddy]

* Paul Hastings Chair Seth Zachary discusses the future of Biglaw. He “predicts extreme change along the lines of the Soviet political movement, Perestroika.” Wake us when Peter Kalis is climbing on a tank. [Bloomberg BNA — Big Law Business]

* George Zimmerman was arrested for aggravated assault and domestic violence with a weapon. His lawyer said his client “has not been lucky with the ladies.” He hasn’t been lucky with being a decent human being, either. [USA Today]

* Lawrence McCreery, the Hawaii lawyer who licked a client’s ear and inspired the judge on his case to call him a “dirty old man,” has had his harassment conviction upheld on appeal. Get excited, he’s still got a law license, ladies. [Associated Press]

* We may soon see same-sex marriage bans in three states struck down, as the Fifth Circuit “appeared poised” to do so after oral arguments on Friday. Roberta Kaplan, our 2013 Lawyer of the Year, delivered a standout performance in arguing against Mississippi’s ban. [BuzzFeed]

* What do Sidley Austin, Baker & McKenzie, Reed Smith, Hogan Lovells, and Skadden Arps have in common? Their names were used in phishing emails to scam people out of their money. Some might say that’s business as usual. [Crain’s Chicago Business]

* An arrest was made in the forcible rape of a woman — presumably a law student — that took place in the stacks of the Southern University Law Center’s library last semester. The accused rapist is currently behind held without bond. [WBRZ]

What advice would you give to the embattled Bill Cosby?

* A third-year student from the Louisiana State University Law Center was indicted for allegedly raping one woman and allegedly sexually assaulting and attempting to rape another. He’s currently free on bail under GPS monitoring supervision. [The Advocate]

* Here’s some news you can potentially use (with extreme caution): you may be able to give a law firm partner the finger and still be eligible to receive unemployment benefits after you’ve been fired for flipping the bird. [Madison St. Clair Record]

* Ever go to law school? Ever go to law school… on weed? Lots of law schools are adding courses related to marijuana law to their curricula because “[f]or most students, this is an inherently interesting topic.” Yessir, it is. [National Law Journal]

* Hmm, this advice article says you should evaluate your GPA and LSAT score to determine which law schools to apply to, but we know the only real qualification is a pulse. This is confusing. [Law Admissions Lowdown / U.S. News & World Report]

* The Federal Communications Commission renewed a radio license for a station owned by Washington Redskins’ owner Dan Snyder, despite the fact that the agency’s chairman previously called the team name “offensive and derogatory.” [WSJ Law Blog]

* “If you can’t disagree on the law without taking it personally, find another day job. You shouldn’t be an appellate judge.” You’ve really got to admit that sometimes, Justice Scalia has an absolutely wonderful way of putting things. [Associated Press]

* David Boies sent everyone and their mother and their dog a letter asking them to destroy all docs leaked from the Sony hack, lest they face legal consequences, but there’s just one problem with that pesky First Amendment. [WSJ Law Blog]

* The law students who requested exam delays due to unfair grand jury decisions claim they’re not “coddled Millennials” — no, they’re members of the new regime of lawyers who are willing to ask, “If not us, then who?” [National Law Journal]

* Please keep in mind that these students are likely the same ones who may be missing out about learning the intricacies of rape law because they want their professors to “protect them from causing or experiencing discomfort.” [New Yorker]

* Well, this is an interesting round of musical chairs: Vice Media just poached James H. Schwab, the chairman of the media and entertainment practice group at Paul Weiss, to join the company as co-president. [DealBook / New York Times]

* Undergrad students at Boston University are trotting out the latest edition of the school’s pre-law review. Feast your eyes upon the genius of future gunners, or don’t, because it’ll help them learn early that no one actually reads law reviews. [BU Today]

There is nothing insensitive about asking women who use the media to spread their accusations to also respond to media inquiry.

* Want to see a group of assistant district attorneys from the Bronx throwing up gang signs in their holiday photo? Of course you do! How seriously is the Bronx DA’s office taking the picture even though local defense attorneys are pissed? Not very! [New York Daily News]

* “What he did was out of line, inappropriate, unnecessary, and hurtful.” There’s a scandal brewing over at Mercer Law, where a professor apparently thought it would be prudent to use the “N-word” during his constitutional law class. [Macon Telegraph]

* Gilberto “Cannibal Cop” Valle wants his conviction for illegally accessing NYPD databases to be overturned to improve his chances of getting into law school. He shouldn’t be worried — some schools accept convicted murderers. [New York Post]

* Thelen LLP’s bankruptcy case, first filed way back in 2009, is finally moving towards its conclusion. The last holdout partners who refused to settle must now pay back their monthly draws from the firm’s final year. Too bad, so sad. [National Law Journal]

* Ladies, have a pudding pop: Martin D. Singer of Lavely & Singer, better known these days as Bill Cosby’s lawyer, wants the media to stop publishing “unsubstantiated, fantastical stories” about the comedian’s alleged rape victims. [Chicago Tribune]

* The grand jury in the Michael Brown shooting is still undecided on the case. Perhaps they’ll have a decision before Thanksgiving so everyone in Ferguson can enjoy their turkey in peace (or in protest, depending on how it comes out). [CNN]

* We are coming to Chicago, and we’d love to see you at our event on Thursday night — RSVP here. [Above the Law]

* Wait, FIFA may be dishonest? Kirkland partner Michael Garcia announces plans to appeal after FIFA releases ethics report on the Russia and Qatar World Cup bidding process that contains “numerous materially incomplete and erroneous representations of the facts and conclusions.” And he should know since he worked on the investigation. [Am Law Daily]

* Behold the all-purpose citation! [Lowering the Bar]

* Regarding yesterday’s crazy “woman sues the owner of the dog that her dogs killed,” an astute reader notes that a year ago, the Texas Supreme Court limited damages in pet deaths to “animal’s market worth.” So in the interest of reining in damages, the courts gave the victim less incentive to sue than the owner of the perpetrators. Sounds like a great system there. [Dallas Morning News]

* The holidays are around the corner. Get that special lawyer some prints of courthouses around the country to spruce up their office. [Courthouses of America]

* Wow. California school district argues that 14-year-old girl could legally consent to sex with her teacher because, I mean, come on, we all knew she was a slut. This happened. In 2014. [Slate]

* Advice that should go double for lawyers: sometimes you really just need to drop acid to clear your head. [What About Clients?]

* Professors who refuse to retire are the worst. [TaxProf Blog]

* The makeup of the Supreme Court is the most important issue in the 2016 election. Well, the most “important” issue will be if Hillary is a crone who murdered everyone in Benghazi with Obamacare, but the Supreme Court should be the most important issue. [Slate]

* We’ve wondered why the Supreme Court isn’t more accountable before. Fix the Court wants to do something about it. [USA Today]

* In-house counsel are optimistic. Too bad they aren’t optimistic about sending work to firms. [Business of Law Blog / LexisNexis]

* The Italians just overturned the manslaughter convictions of a bunch of scientists for failing to accurately predict an earthquake. But, sure, let’s send Amanda Knox back over there. [Reuters]

* Latham snags a gaggle of high-profile O’Melveny entertainment lawyers and O’Melveny names three new co-heads of its Entertainment, Sports and Media Practice. [Deadline Hollywood]

* An infographic of firm trends. Technological upgrades are the name of the game. [Think Tank / Aderant]

* While we treat high school athletes as adults in so many aspects of their lives, America just won’t let go of labeling them juveniles unable to grasp sexual assault. [The Legal Blitz]

* Horrific tale of systematic sexual abuse in the ranks of USA Swimming, which turns to Bryan Cave for what a lawyer profiled in the article calls “plaintiff-draining legal tactics.” [Outside Online]

* R.I.P. John Michael Doar, former chief of the DOJ civil rights division in the 60s, who died at age 92 yesterday. [What About Clients?]

* Florida State QB Jameis Winston is still in a heap of legal trouble and it turns out his best legal move might just be to drop out. It’d save him the trouble of getting demolished by Mississippi State. [Sports Illustrated] * A follow-up on the Yale Law/Colombia Prostitution/Secret Service/Obama scandal. An amateur poet was hot on this story from the start and sent cryptic verse about it to a Yale student paper way back in the day. [Ivy Gate Blog] * Ron Swanson explains lawyers. Best line, “The man who kills me will know.” [Legal Cheek] * Remember when the Texas Supreme Court cited Walter from Big Lebowski? Now we have the proper citation form for the occasion. [The Legal Satyricon] * Perdue has settled two lawsuits against it over the use of the phrase “humanely raised.” Apparently its chickens were “not that.” [Salon] * One lawyer explains why it’s high time we eliminate this holiday. [Katz Justice]

Ed. note: In honor of Columbus Day (and Canadian Thanksgiving), Above the Law will be on a reduced publication schedule today. We will be back in full force tomorrow.

* The Supreme Court’s new Term is off to a great start: Thanks to a copy machine’s error, we almost missed the surprise cert denials in the gay marriage cases. What kind of screw-ups will this week bring us? [National Law Journal]

* On the other hand, in what’s considered an unsurprising move following its cert denials en masse, the Supreme Court allowed same-sex marriage to begin in Idaho. Congrats to the Gem State. [WSJ Law Blog]

* Jenner & Block’s data privacy practice is making waves in an “uncharted but lucrative field,” and its leader thinks that the “Internet of Things” will help heat up her work soon. [Capital Business / Washington Post]

* A future Law & Order: SVU episode? Sanford Rubenstein, a personal injury and civil rights lawyer who’s been described as “[f]lashy, brash and always camera-ready,” is now being accused of rape. [ABC News]

* Yale Law’s most interesting student goes to all of his classes, but never has to study or take any of his finals. It’s not because he’s lucky — it’s because he’s a 93-year-old course auditor. [New Haven Register]

* Quiz: Can you match the picture of the plaintiff to the landmark Supreme Court decision? [Slate] * Ninth Circuit expedites Ed O'Bannon appeal. [USAToday] * New NBC comedy about a law student who becomes a garbage man. Better job security, I suppose. [The A.V. Club] * The federal prison population declined by about 4800 inmates, giving the United States… well, still the worst incarceration rate in the world, but hey, you’ve got to start somewhere. [ABC News] * The contract attorney who sued Biglaw is living in his car and considering a career in construction. Perhaps it was a Freudian thing. [Law and More] * Some philosophy professors are concerned about an individual getting very testy with perceived critics. Anyone want to guess the individual? [Professor David Velleman Homepage / NYU] * In case you missed it, Howard Bashman’s announcement of our new partnership. [How Appealing] * Middle school convinces special needs girl to allow suspected rapist to take her into a bathroom so the school can “catch him redhanded.” She gets raped. Judge dismisses the lawsuit saying he wouldn’t “second-guess” school officials. [Al.com]

When you make individuals means to your ends only, you become a farce, if not also a fraud.